As reality of the debt set in, the king began pacing whilst rubbing his belly in a counter-clockwise motion, his coping strategy for whenever life was getting too real.

Without any warning he raised his arms in the air. "A tax!"

Gianni and Fairy Godmother exchanged an uncertain look. "That wasn't the plan!" she whispered.

Fredrick timidly approached. "A tax, your highness?"

The king returned to his seat and rubbed his hands together excitedly. "We can add another tax on the citizens!" He was salivating now, overtaken by the juicy prospect of corruption.

Fredrick's thoughtful eyes began to glow in indignation. If he was honest with himself, he knew the king would sleep just fine no matter how much his people suffered, but another tax? When they were already on the brink? He was tempted to toss the king out the window and watch him roll down the hill to his death, but he carefully guarded his rage behind the filter of royal servitude.

"The citizens, your majesty..." he calmly said, "...they are barely surviving as it is. A revolt is imminent."

The king immediately burst into belly-shaking laughter, a reaction that showered his guests with drops of spittle; Gianni was traumatized by the spit-shower, while the drunken Fairy Godmother didn't even notice.

"Ohh...are the citizens barely surviving?" the king mocked. "Then what about that lemon-cake-eating contest when they were stuffing their faces with glee? Were they barely surviving then?"

It was times like these when Fredrick wasn't surprised that this idiot king had run the entire kingdom into the ground. "Your majesty...a year has passed since then."

"A year?" The king could barely believe it. "Then aren't we due for another contest?" He licked his lips as visions of lemon cakes danced about in his head.

"But lemon cakes are no longer available," Fredrick awkwardly reminded him, "at least not for the regular citizens..."

The king smiled as if remembering a secret mission. "Yes...that really was a savvy move by yours truly." He gestured to Fredrick. "See to it that the baker makes a dozen lemon cakes for tomorrow."

Fredrick internally seethed as he thought about the peasants who were deprived of simple pleasures, and if it wasn't for the coin this position provided he might've been a little more candid. "A dozen?" he asked politely. "Are you planning a lemon-cake-eating contest within the castle?"

The king laughed. "I said a dozen not a hundred!" He suddenly went serious. "They're mine and don't let anyone else touch them."

The queen elbowed the king and he snapped to attention. "No tax then eh? Hmm...then what about selling their possessions?" He shook his head. "But they don't really own anything of value..." Fredrick clenched his fists as the king continued to brainstorm. "Or how about instead..." His eyes lit up as he noticed the famous legend sitting across from him. "How about you?" he mused, his eyes locking on to Fairy Godmother. "You could simply erase the debt with your magical powers!"

Fairy Godmother felt herself directly under the spotlight, and by the look on her face she would've preferred to hide in a dungeon. "Yes...well...you see...the magic...as it were..."

"A flick of the wand and then poof! Is that how it works?" The king flailed his arm around, wielding his imaginary wand. "What if we used it to conjure up magical food? Then I'd never go hungry again!"

"You mean the kingdom," said Fredrick. "The kingdom would never go hungry again."

The king shook his head. "One in the same my boy...one in the same."

Fairy Godmother shook her head repeatedly like she was losing her mind. "No. I don't think so. No no no."

Gianni gestured for her silence. "What Fairy Godmother is trying to say is—"

"It doesn't work like that!" she blurted out, practically hyperventilating.

"Or in other words the magic isn't needed at all!" exclaimed Gianni, grinning like a demented clown in a way that was meant to be reassuring.

"It isn't needed?" said the queen, nervous and confused and excited all at once.

"Not in the least," he confirmed. "Not when we present you with King Edward's alternative solution." His face suddenly took on a smarmy expression that served as a warning of distrust. It was one of those moments of emergency alert-level five, or run for the hills, or get out now while you can. But the king and queen didn't even notice. The only thing the king could hear was that his bromance lover was bailing him out, and the only thing the queen could hear was that she wouldn't have to return all her pricey jewels.

"Tell us what King Edward has in mind," she said coolly.

"And say it in great detail," the king implored. "You mustn't leave out anything about King Edward's thoughtfulness, tone of voice, clever jokes, and so on and so forth."

"We'll explain it all," said Gianni. "But first we'll need to see your son."

The king and queen seemed uncomfortable all of a sudden.

"Our son is indisposed," the queen explained.

The king nodded. "He rarely emerges at this hour; it's his chance to re-fuel so he can return to being...manageable by morning."

Gianni raised an eyebrow. "In order for you to benefit from this generous solution...we will need to see your son."

***

So much had been said of princes throughout time, in fairytales and fables and even in the history books. The title evoked charm, riches, and of course--true love.

But did the Enraptured Kingdom's prince hold up to this sterling reputation? Was King Gastronso's son the man of every peasant girl's dream?

The two special guests were about to find out, as they sat in the dining hall awaiting the chosen one's arrival.

The once ravaged table had been cleaned and laid out with fresh desserts and wine. King Gastronso wasted no time, gobbling up his own full-sized pie, while Gianni admired his reflection in a silver goblet. Fairy Godmother's only dessert was more wine, and by now she was noticeably impaired.

Everyone snapped to attention when they heard the creaking sound of the dining hall door slowly opening.

The queen led the way, and lagging behind was the heir to the throne Prince Rainier.

He was perfectly symmetrical as gorgeous people are, with alluring eyes, a perfect jawline, and feathered blond hair swept delicately back; it's what his gorgeous face was doing that was the problem. Sullen, annoyed, and generally miserable. It was the cloud of royal problems that only the privileged can know, coupled with the tantrums that define the insufferable teenager. And so, in that moment, his aesthetic beauty was rendered useless, in the face of a bitch-boy demeanor that made him borderline offensive to the eye.

The queen looked at him sternly. "I know this falls outside your typical schedule, but these are very special guests and you will make them feel welcome."

The prince sighed like it was the worst day of his life. "What kind of world is this if my ninety-minute foot massage could be so rudely interrupted? Is this fair? Is this society?"

The queen ignored him as Gianni observed his presence with the eyes of someone who thirsted for the next biography co-star. "Ah...the fabled Prince Rainier," he said.

The prince smirked as he took his seat. "Fabled? I think you have me confused with Prince Charming." He rolled his eyes. "His real name is Bartholomew and he stuffs his trousers, a fun fact excluded from your ridiculous Cinderella book."

Gianni absorbed the insult calmly, sipping wine as if they were casually discussing the weather.

Fairy Godmother slapped her hand on the table. "Forget about Prince Charming!" She leaned towards the prince aggressively. "It's your time now." She rummaged around in her cloak pockets. "In fact..." She struggled to find what she was looking for, as random pieces of litter kept falling out of her cloak.

Gianni reached over to help. "Don't strain yourself! Just relax and I'll present the proposal."

The prince was suddenly intrigued. "Proposal?"

Fairy Godmother continued to struggle. "But King Edward wrote everything down for me! I know it's in here somewhere." She eventually pulled out a crumpled scroll. "A-ha!"

She flattened the scroll with her goblet and squinted to read the words. "Dear Gastronso...how is my favorite B-F-F?" She looked to the king for clarification.

"Brethren and friends forever," the king explained.

"Of course, of course." She smirked and continued reading. "I assume the response on your current state is mixed, as we are well aware of your kingdom's many struggles."

The king hid his face behind a massive bite of pie.

"If your kingdom fails," Fairy Godmother went on, "the investment I made in you will fail along with it. And that, my BFF, would displease me greatly."

The king's eyes widened.

"Perhaps even enough to remove my half of our matching amulet necklaces..."

The king gasped and clutched his pendant tightly.

"Luckily for you a solution is at hand," she continued, "and for that, I offer you our legendary Fairy Godmother and the great biographer Gianni!"

The king, queen, and prince exchanged baffled looks.

[WRITER COMMENTARY: I like the idea of turning fairytales a little upside down, and so I thought it would be interesting to see what happens to Fairy Godmother when she's basically a bitter drunk, haha; can you believe there will be a happily ever after in this story? Well I won't spoil anything, so keep reading ;-) ]