As darkness fell on the impoverished village, the last of the sporadic lanterns went out, and the peasants succumbed to sleep from the lull of low blood sugar.

Far from the village and high upon a hill, the royal palace was succumbing to something else: Saturday night fever.

The sounds of a party floated out into the night, as a gilded carriage rolled up to the castle's looming gate. The carriage was blue and gold and utterly pristine, but whoever was inside was a mystery...

***

Inside the castle's thick stone walls, candles cast a glow on an empty dining hall ravaged by an all-out binge-fest. The party must've started off here with a bang, as the long wooden table was a chaos of half-eaten turkey legs, heaps of potatoes, and decadent desserts.

But where was the royal family now?

Perhaps they'd moved on to the vomitorium, for the communal post-meal purge that was typical of the times. With the faint sound of music emanating from the hallway however...it seemed that something vastly different was afoot.

The answer could be found in one of the castle's many sitting rooms, where plush benches and stuffy armchairs seated three rows of loyal subjects. They surrounded the overweight and sweaty King Gastronso, who was currently happier than a pig in mud as he belted out a favorite tune: "Do you really want to hurt me, do you really want to make me cry?"

It wasn't just a song but the origin of karaoke, long before the age of digital lyrics on a screen. The current technology only allowed for an orchestra and lyrics on a scroll, a scroll that was held by Fredrick, the first servant of the king's court. With gentle eyes and an endearing shag of sandy hair, Fredrick often wondered how he'd ended up here, in his mid-twenties, holding a scroll for the king as his intelligence rotted away.

At the age of sixteen he'd been eager to join the king's court, to help out his family of farmers by earning some extra coin. It had seemed like a noble endeavor, but over the years his job description had devolved into mindless tasks, like clipping the king's toenails once his growing sack of belly fat precluded him from seeing his feet. He longed for a change, but with the crops dying and the kingdom swimming in debt, his family needed his coin contribution more than ever.

So here was Fredrick, pledging his allegiance to dying from within as the king's boisterous serenade continued.

Suddenly the king stopped singing.

He glared at Fredrick. "The next scroll!"

Fredrick jumped to attention and flipped the page. It was the first time he'd ever missed a cue, and even if he lacked any passion for his role, he needed to pay attention before a younger nubile servant replaced him.

"Here we are your majesty," he said, holding out the newest scroll with pride.

The king now seemed sleepy. Or hungry. Or in need of a toilet. Much like a drooling baby his signals were inconclusive. "Never mind, " the king muttered, waving away the scroll. "It was only the final chorus." Suddenly his eyes lit up. "Did my performance please you, my queen?"

He was speaking to Queen Enevere, who sat front and center in cascading golden robes. Her posture was eerily perfect and her stare ice-cold, and if a basket of kittens randomly turned up dead we would likely know why.

"The performance was thrilling dear," she affirmed.

The king waddled over to a bench stacked with scrolls. "Shall we treat our royal court to a duet?" He rummaged through the scrolls like a careless child, creating a mess that Fredrick would surely have to deal with. "If I could just find the song; it's something about...in the moonlight...I would do you right..."

Before he could find the sexy tune that would kick off a royal orgy, the salon doors burst open and a startled young servant rushed in.

Queen Enevere's narrowed eyes stopped him in his tracks.

"So sorry to have disturbed, your majesty." Those quiet words were all the servant could manage, before Fredrick yanked his arm and pulled him out of view.

In a whispered voice, Fredrick took the servant to task: "Was I somehow unclear when I said no interruptions during his majesty's singing soirée?"

"You were clear as day but some unexpected visitors have arrived, and by special carriage no less."

"Visitors on singing night?" Fredrick scoffed. "Who would dare be so bold?"

This time it was the younger servant who scoffed. "I hardly think the Enchanted Kingdom is aware of our majesty's singing night."

At the sound of 'Enchanted Kingdom,' the king dropped his scroll and it rolled across the floor. "The...Enchanted Kingdom?"

***

The castle's grand salon for receiving outside guests was anything but basic, but whether it was dignified was debatable. The windows were dressed in velvet curtains that were also lace and also shimmery, while luxurious couches with golden accents cried out for thirsty acknowledgement.

The king and queen now sat across their special guests: Gianni, the biographer of 'Cinderella,' who was a middle-aged man all decked out in the finest threads, and Fairy Godmother, who despite the fairytale we'd come to love, was a haggard old woman in a dirty cloak that reeked of alcohol.

The king poured wine with a shaky hand, making a mess of the gleaming marble table. "Fredrick!" he cried.

Fredrick rushed over and wiped away the mess. "Your majesty, this is precisely why I do the pouring."

"Yes I know but these are very important guests," the king said smiling.

Special they were, as the king had never looked more nervous or sweaty. Even the typically frozen queen was smiling with concerted effort.

"So how did Cinderella become such a star?" she asked hungrily.

Fairy Godmother sneered like she was about to lay down some damaging gossip, but Gianni took over just in time. "Your highness my goodness! You're getting right to the burning questions!" He studied her with a calculating smile. "Frankly I get that question quite often, and the answer is rather simple: when the skilled writer can weave such a captivating tale...the subject is bound to be a legend." Fairy Godmother snorted but he pretended not to hear it. "It certainly didn't hurt that she comes from such a humble background and possesses such a golden heart."

Fairy Godmother's eyes bulged as she chugged her wine in one swig.

The queen put her hand across her chest and smiled. "She sounds like true a darling." She then leaned in with intense eyes, eager to get to the heart of the matter. "Has her fame resulted in special endorsements? Elaborate gifts? And do others benefit from being in her orbit? And why hasn't she responded to our invitation for a visit?" She sighed and leaned back as much as her rigid posture would allow. "I was simply...wondering."

Gianni hid his face behind his goblet, trying to conceal his level of disdain. "All great questions, your highness!" He put down his goblet and consulted a leather-bound notebook he'd brought with him. "According to the schedule of public appearances our princess has been very busy."

"Oh yes!" Fairy Godmother exclaimed. "The girl has been terribly busy, what with interviewers to talk down to...impoverished children to semi-acknowledge with brief eye contact..." Her grudge was rather public now and the king and queen were intrigued.

Gianni unexpectedly burst into laughter, patting Fairy Godmother's shoulder all the while. "She always does this!" The king and queen stared at him blankly. "It must be her instinct to perform, because everywhere we go she says these silly things about Cinderella as a part of her comedy routine." He shook his head. "Incorrigible!" He was smiling at Fairy Godmother now, with a mouth that grinned but eyes that were begging for his hands to wring her neck.

"Yes..." she said slowly, "I can be...extremely incorrigible."

The queen glanced at the grandfather clock, already tired of this shtick. "So is Cinderella visiting our kingdom or not?"

The king snapped his fingers. "And can we get some biscuits in here?"

Gianni's smile barely hid his disdain for this two-bit kingdom. "As I said, her schedule is packed at the moment, and honestly...is it really any surprise given the biography's success?" It was the second time he'd circled back to a not-so-humble brag. "Now that I think of it...I suppose this biography is my best accomplishment to date!" Or the third time to be exact.

He glanced around for acknowledgement but no one seemed to notice or care.

The queen traced her razor-sharp nails around her glass. "If there isn't any chance of Cinderella making a visit...may I ask why you came here unannounced?"

The king shook his head sadly. "I know why." He stood with a sigh, took a few steps, and laid himself out on the garish embroidered carpet. "Pillow!"

Fredrick rushed over with a pillow and positioned it behind the king's head.

Gianni could hardly believe he was witnessing such an undignified display. Somehow though, he managed to appear sympathetic. "What seems to be the trouble, your majesty?"

"It's King Edward," the king murmured. "He didn't respond to my latest letter and it's already been three months; I'm being phantomed aren't I..."

Strangely...Gianni smiled. "I assure you our visit has everything to do with King Edward."

The king hopped up to his feet, his eyes now flooded over like a schoolgirl with a crush. "So he's been thinking about me? What did he say?"

Fairy Godmother helped herself to a second glass of wine. "Something about how your debt to the Enchanted Kingdom is out of control."

Gianni elbowed Fairy Godmother. "More subtle!" He hissed.

As they were busy straightening out their approach, the queen discreetly slid her sleeve overtop of her shimmering bracelet.

The king appeared frantic now. "Debt?" He pulled a handful of emergency candies out of his pocket and popped them into his mouth. "But the coin King Edward sent us was a gift! He even called me brethren and we did a special handshake with our fists!"

The queen could barely hide her disdain for this bromance.

"It was no gift at all," Fairy Godmother said. "And interest was expected too."

The king chewed his candies in a nervous frenzy, as his sheltered life of enjoying other's riches threatened to crumble all around him...

The king chewed his candies in a nervous frenzy, as his sheltered life of enjoying other's riches threatened to crumble all around him...[WRITER COMMENTARY: I'm not gonna lie, when I was writing the character of the king, I may have been thinking of idiotic world leaders...make of that what you will, and you know what they say, writing is therapy! I also wanted to enter an imaginary time when the story of Cinderella was a bestseller, but she was actually still alive and  fresh off the heels of her marriage. In other words...we WILL be meeting her eventually! ;-) ]