The rose ceremony in ABC's 'The Bachelor' is a captivating thing, with contestants on display in evening gowns, faux lashes meticulously glued on, and hair extensions neatly clipped into place. It's magazine-made beauty against the backdrop of an opulent mansion, with suspicions of sabotage running dangerously high from the never-ending flow of champagne.

The sixteenth-century beginnings of 'The Bachelor' may have been behind on the glamour front, but the purpose behind the proceedings was the same.

The girls made their way into the royal hall dressed in underwhelming matching grey dresses.

The royal judges were seated on their thrones with Gianni and Fairy Godmother at their side. The king barely glanced at the girls before sighing. "Shouldn't some sort of hors d'oeuvres accompany the ceremony?"

The queen had more important matters on her mind. "Where is the new clothing they were to have?" she said sneering. "They can't be seen in the castle dressed like this."

Gianni consulted his notebook. "We've already put out a rush order on noble-worthy fashion for the contestants." He had a passing thought about Myrielle's mother working all alone in the tailor shop; she would probably have to sew until her fingers bled to finish the first batch of dresses, but wasn't that normal for peasants? He wasn't sure and he didn't really care.

The queen leaned over to take a peek at his notes. "Did you also put in an order for a lace and emerald gown?" The king raised an eyebrow. "What?" she said defensively. "This contest has raised our profile so I'll certainly need a new gown or two."

Gianni nodded. "It's a reasonable request, but the gown and the dresses won't be ready until we're down to the top ten."

The prince clapped his hands. "Let's get to it then!" He leaned in to whisper to Gianni. "Get rid of the pie pig. And the one with no neck."

Gianni flipped through his notes. "No neck? Are you sure we have one of those?" He studied each contestant with a penetrating gaze, and halfway through he gasped.

"Good heavens you're right. Her head just sort of...disappears into her shoulders; it's ghoulish, really."

Fredrick was stationed off to the side with the tray of lilies, but he'd heard every word in reference to the 'no-neck' and 'pie-pig.' It was hard to forget he'd been utterly rejected by the one girl in line who wouldn't even look him, yet still he felt the urge to speak up on behalf of pie-'pig.'

With a casual air, Fredrick sidled up to Gianni and glanced at his book. "You can't get rid of contestants who weren't the worst in both challenges, can you?"

Gianni 'accidentally' pushed Fredrick out of the way, but he knew the little weasel was right. "Based on the results," he said scrolling through the list, "it's these two who should go." He looked up at the royals. "But we should still put four in the bottom for dramatic effect."

The prince scanned the list and shook his head. "That can't be right. And anyway...isn't there the wow factor to consider? In terms of wow, I can't believe how much her appearance offends me?" He swallowed a bit of vomit as he pictured himself bedding some of these average-looking peasants.

As the judges deliberated the merits of the gross-out factor, Bella snuck up beside Myrielle. "I know it was you," she whispered.

Myrielle continued staring straight ahead. "What are you babbling on about?"

"The mud," she said. "I was in that lane for a reason, and so was the mud."

Myrielle shrugged. "You can't blame me for geography and nature."

"Oh yes I can," she said nastily. "And I can blame your little lover boy for being the one to do it!" She pinched Myrielle's arm until the wad of skin in her clutches turned purple.

Myrielle pulled her arm away and winced in pain. As she took in Bella's vicious stare, she knew there was no choice but to push her out of the way, which was precisely when the real fun would begin. Bella's cronies Helena and Josselyn were already at her side, with the grubby little fighter Helena getting ready for her latest assault.

The judges watched the scene in fascination; it was 'must-see early renaissance TV' (sans TV), and they couldn't peel their eyes away from the drama.

"It stands to reason..." Gianni mused, "that a rivalry in the group will make this a memorable contest..."

The prince immediately snapped out of his apathy. "Would a memorable contest raise my profile even more?"

Gianni turned back with a sleazy smile. "Absolutely." He gestured to Fairy Godmother and pointed at the girls. "Calm them down."

Fairy Godmother stumbled over and raised her fake magic wand. "Don't make me use my paralysis spell!"

The girls immediately gasped and returned to their single-file queue.

Fairy Godmother waddled back and sighed. "Magical powers are exhausting work."

Gianni played along with brief applause before engaging in a final whispered huddle with the royals. Once their choice was made he gestured to Fredrick. "We're ready."

The prince handed out eight lilies, until the four girls left at the bottom were Myrielle, Bella, a petrified redhead and the one with no neck. He sauntered around them in a circle, judging every aspect of their bodies with concern; he allotted a few extra seconds to Bella, and it was the only time in the night he would smile. She received the lily first, which left three hopeful girls and just one flower.

Myrielle bowed her head, almost regretting her harsh dismissal of Fredrick. She clearly had no problem stealing food from a kingdom that was so corrupt, so couldn't she have let him continue to help her? What was the big deal if he hadn't had faith in her ability to woo the prince? Who could woo such a monster anyway? It was too late to regret it now as she would likely be eliminated in the next thirty seconds. As she processed her inevitable demise, she realized she would probably never see Fredrick again. Fredrick, the man who had actually said he liked having her around...

"You there," said the prince, now standing in front of Myrielle.

She raised her head, hoping upon hope that he would grant her another chance. "Yes?"

"You are a true competitor," he said.

Myrielle and the rest of the girls were stunned by the unprovoked compliment. "And from what I'm told you consumed that entire pie in four minutes flat."

She suddenly had a very bad feeling.

"It's truly impressive," he added. "And only second to the pigs out back that clean out their trough almost as quickly!"

The girls started laughing and the prince urged them on.

"You're on your way to becoming a champion" he said mockingly. "You'll just have to beat out the pig to be number one!" He was practically in tears now from laughing, but he gave her a lily all the same.

She took the flower and nodded in gratitude, but was starting to wonder how far she would ever get in this demeaning contest. Fredrick's advice to manipulate the odds seemed more relevant than ever, because she didn't stand a chance against the ridicule or the beauty of Bella.

The redhead and no-neck girl were escorted out of the royal hall in tears, but Myrielle was the one who felt like a loser.

"And there we have it everyone," said Gianni, as he gestured to the remaining girls. "Your official top ten!"

At the sound of those words the king cleared his throat. "A-hem!" Nothing happened so he tried it again. "A-hem!"

The doors burst open and a deafening marching band entered the royal hall, each step in perfect sync. A servant was right behind them, struggling to balance a six-layer cake adorned with sparklers and a message that read: "Congratulations Top Ten!"

The queen raised her eyebrow and frowned. "You commissioned an enormous cake when we are only in the top ten?"

The king shrugged. "It's all just a part of the Enchanted Kingdom's sponsorship. Much like the emerald gown you commissioned, wouldn't you say?"

The queen wasn't fazed by his high-fashion call-out. "And how will you celebrate the winner? A cake the size of a castle?"

He laughed. "Don't be silly!" All of a sudden his eyes oozed with passion. "The celebratory dessert will be unlike anything anyone's ever seen." He licked his lips. "A sugary creation that will cement my name in history."

He was officially insane, and probably well on his way to medieval diabetes.

Nearby, Gianni and Fairy Godmother were having a private talk.

"Is it time to make our wager?" she whispered.

"Nothing like the promise of bonus coin to make things a little more interesting." He took a quick glance at his notes. "I choose Bella."

She slapped him on the shoulder. "We were supposed to write the names down first!"

"Why?" he asked. "Is your choice Bella too?"

She snorted. "No. My choice is Myrielle."

He tried to suppress his laughter. "I have to say...in this moment I'm quite a fan of your excessive drinking."

"Just wait and see," she said. "The audience always loves an underdog."

"The audience indeed..." He smiled and they exchanged a knowing wink, as there was more to the competition than would meet the eye, and they were the only two people in the kingdom who knew the secret...

[WRITER COMMENTARY: I like to think that reality TV shows are a reflection of human nature, and so the idea could've existed at any time, which is why I'm excited to explore that on a fairytale level! It seems impossible that Myrielle would get the prince at this point, but who knows what could happen with an underdog? Thanks for reading and there's more to come; who's your favourite character so far?]