Matthew's POV

"Feli! I'm home!" Lovi yelled loud as ever which was necessary given how loud the house already was. It was fun though, like a second home to me.

"I don't care!" What a truly loving family. It was almost comical with noise that was in the house. It was so loud like Lovi. We went up to his room after he nagged at his brother. Much like the rest of the house, his room was messy, near hoarder-like. But unlike even his personality, it was quiet. Being in here always made me wonder what Lovi was like when totally alone. We're close but he always has a guard even around me. Even in his weaker moments.

He hopped onto the bed. I sat down at the edge next to his feet. He used his arm to keep his head up, his gaze was on me.

"I met him before I moved here." He sighed. "He was in my class and he was the most annoying little sucker I'd ever met."

"So he was annoying?"

"No."

"Then what?"

"He was absolutely terrifying."

"What?" I near laughed at thought. Gilbert was a softy from how I saw. I don't think he's even lay his hand on a tree.

"He once attacked a kid for interrupting his sentence. Hell, if you even came near him, he would give you the most terrifying glance. I once tried to tell him to stop being such an ass and I almost got my ass handed to me."

"Don't think that scares me all that much."

"I know it doesn't." He sighed again, letting his arm fall with his head following. He looked exhausted and vulnerable. "I'm just asking you to be careful."

"Did you lose trust in me or something? I wouldn't be your friend if I wasn't careful." It was hard getting close to Lovi. I remember it thoroughly because I had to learn the hard way. Maybe Lovi softened up and pitied me for taking all his insults and all the other things he would do to distance himself. I know we have a mutual respect now. It was a long ass journey that required so many sleepless nights. But it was worth it.

"Just a bit."

"Why?"

"Because your idiot ass decided to go and start falling for the guy." I choked on air, triggering a small coughing fit.

"What?" I wheezed.

"You heard me." He looked at me with fire in his eyes. I'm better off dead at this point. He's mad about something that's not true though. "Too many red flags for it not to be true."

"But it isn't." I furrowed my brows. "I've known him for like a week. This isn't Shakespeare, Lovi."

"You can't tell me the way you talk about him and even look at him doesn't have something more to it." He sat up, his frown more pronounced.

"He's new and interesting, sorry for being curious." I rolled my eyes. That seemed to infuriate him more. "Why do you even care?" He didn't say anything. I noticed that he wasn't actually looking at me anymore. His focused was the empty spot next to me. Why avoid me? "Lovi." His eyes whipped to me. It was then that realization hit me. "You're jealous, aren't you?"

"I am not." He growled, leaning closer to me.

"Liar." I spat. "Tell me why? Why are you angry at me for something you think is true? Because it's not true. You know how I am with people. It takes time for me. So tell me why?"

"I'm not jealous."

"Oh yes, you are."

"I'm not."

"Then we wouldn't be having this conversation."

"Shutup." He threw a pillow at me, missing me. He huffed and sat back onto the head board.

"This is about that night, isn't it?" He didn't looked at me. He looked at the mess of things on the floor next to the bed.

"Shut it." He practically mumbled.

"No." I leaned forward trying to get his attention on me. "Just tell me the truth. I won't hate you for it."

"Okay, maybe I am jealous. Maybe it is about that night. Maybe I'm still not over it. Maybe I overthink it and I think you hated it. Maybe it makes me stupidly angry at myself and I take it out on him." He looked at me now. "Maybe I see myself in the way you look at him! Maybe I wish you'd look at me that way!"

I didn't really know what to think. I just kept staring at him. After a moment, the memory of that night crashed back into my head. Truth was that I was pushing it back so nothing would be ruined between us. There were cracks in our friendship, and I know that clearly. I just don't like to address it.

I can't deny that we had sex. I never did, really. I just kept avoiding and so did he. It was like a mutual silence. I didn't think for once that it was eating him alive. It was eating me alive too at one point but I ended up just blocking it out. It lingered but I didn't dare to touch it.

"I didn't know it meant that much to you." I blurted.

"I wish it didn't."

"Why did you never bring it up?"

"Why didn't you?"

"I...was scared."

"Me too." He scowled. "It's almost as if you regret it though."

"I'm not sure how I feel about it." His scowl fell. "I mean, it comes to mind from time to time. I almost feel guilty when it does."

"Why?"

"Guess I'm embarrassed in a way. It's not entirely something I'm used to."

"Sometimes I forget you're so shy, you know." He leaned forward a bit as if inspecting me. "Despite your voice being so soft, you have confidence when you speak."

"Probably because I think no one will hear me."

"I hear you despite how loud I am." He shifted so he was on his knees now.

"Well, you've known me for awhile, you've grown accustomed to me."

"No, I was the same even when we first met." He leaned forward. I leaned back. "I thought you were so new and interesting. I was so curious to know more." He leaned again and it was almost like a dance as he went on. "I think it was that night that I realized what it was that I felt around you. I thought I got over it until he came along." I finally fell over with him shadowing over me. "I admit it, I'm jealous." He tilted my head up. "But I have an advantage, don't I?" My breath hitched at that. Together with the look on his face that only screamed seduction, I was practically dead. The smugness to his smirk only showed that he knew that.

"Maybe I could win." He continued. "How about another night, hm?"

~

I went home at way too late for dad to be alright with it. I was at Lovi's house though so he'll let me off the hook from big consequences.

Of course, upon entering the house, I found him looking at me. His expression was that neutral anger he always had. Which was bad.

"Where were you?" His voice seethed with anger.

"Lovi's house."

"What were you doing that you stayed so late?"

"Studying." I guess that's one way you could put getting filled out like an application at my friend's house.

"Hm," His expression softened. "Alright."

"Sorry, I was going to tell you but I was distracted." That's an understatement.

"It's fine." 

I yawned, "I'm going to bed, good night."

"Good night."

I rushed up the stairs to my room. I locked the door and flopped onto my bed. The images rushed back in waves. I was an absolute mess, in all honesty.

Totally wrecked.

I don't even know what to make of it all. It was just something. Like watching a car crash. I'm in awe but I'm not quite comprehending what's happening.

I've gone insane I think. 

~~~~~

Bet y'all hate me don't you haha don't worry we'll get to the prucan

This here event tho is basically the spark to the plot.