Chapter 47- Ride or Die

"Give me that!" I yell at Steven after yanking away his foam bat he keeps deciding to hit me with.

"You're just mad you can't hit me back." He says and sticks out his tongue at me.

I of course, immediately hit him back.

He stares at me.

I stare at him.

He stares at me...

I stare at him...

"MOOOMMM!"

My mouth drops.

Damn.

I cover his mouth in a panic and he licks my hand. I squirm, but I don't break.

Sadly, my mother walked in, instead of EVERY other American mom who would have just lazily asked "what?" and kept it pushing, but noooo.

So of course she sees me with a hand on his mouth and a bat in the other.

I do the most sensible thing... and I run for my life.

She had a look of horror in her eyes that I wasn't even slightly curious about.

When I say I ran, I mean out of the house. My room wasn't safe enough. In fact, I almost instantly imagined me running to my room, thinking I'm safe then BOOM, my mom storms in through the BATHROOM to catch my oof guard with an ACTUAL bat and kills me.

Yes, it's probably my anxiety talking, but I couldn't, in good conscience not run for my life. She's extremely protective of Steven. She has voiced many times that he is her favorite, and I believe her.

Once, Seth pushed Steven after Steven threw a action figure at his head and of course he screamed for my mom and my mom actually TACKLED Seth.

This 5'1 petite woman TACKLED her nearly 6'0 son for a light push.

I wasn't ready to die for a foam bat.

I hid on the side of the house as my mother looked out the front door. She stood on the stairs, looking around. Even though the neighbors were cutting their grass, I still held my breath out of fear she'd hear me.

"I'm gonna get you." She yells, while swinging the foam bat and slowly walking back into the house.

She knew I was around. She's terrifying.

I wait a few more seconds before booking it to Gabbie's house and silently praying she's home.

    I bang on the door, it instantly swings open.

  "What?" She asks, confused by my frantic behavior.
I push past her and sigh in relief as she shuts the door.

"I'm hungry." I say, completely forgetting about why I ran there in the first place.

   "Lucky for you, I was just ordered Thai food." She says and my eyes widen in excitement.

   "Yay! I've been craving Thai foo-" I was cut off by banging on the door.

"I literally JUST ordered it, it shouldn't be here yet."

   Gabbie looked confused and went to the door.  I stood to the side, kind of thinking it was my mom with a real bat but, it was worse.

   A man with a deep raspy voice, a voice I remember all too well.

   "Hey, Ethan stay here by any chance? I'm his uncle." He says and my body stiffens.

   Gabbie shot a quick look at me and knew something was off.

   "Ethan? No. No Ethan lives around here. We got Mary next door, and Patty with the little dogs, but... no Ethan." She says and I squint my eyes at her.

There's no damn Patty in this neighborhood and who the hell is Mary?

"Oh, sorry to bother you then." He says and walks to his car.

As soon as Gabbie closes the door, I grab her arm and drag her to the hallway.

   "No time to explain, where is Michelle's keys?" I say frantically.

   "We can't use Michelle's car she'll kill us!" She says.

  "Gabbie! This is life or death. I'm serious, so fucking serious!" I say and Gabbie flinches at me cursing.

   "Okay, fine they're over there, but I'm getting Michelle." She says and I go to grab the keys. I peek out the window to see that he's still parked a couple houses down. He was on his phone.

He looks up from his phone and I quickly pull the curtain back, before he could see me.

"Guys, LIFE or DEATH! Remember?" I yell upstairs. About 6 seconds later, they came rushing down.

We went to her car and I took the drivers seat.

"Buckle your seat belts, shits about to get real." We back out of the parking lot just as soon as the guy pulled off.

"What is happening right now, who was that guy?" Gabbie asks and I sigh.

"That guy, is our target. I am going to be on his ass like white on rice, from now until he is in prison." I say and Michelle and Gabbie both grow silent.

"I'm sorry what?" Michelle asks as we slowly follow him, careful not to get too close.

"Okay, what I'm about to say, you will never believe." I say taking a quick glance at them both. They looked... sweaty?

"I think I'll believe anything, considering we're following a random man." Gabbie says and I sigh.

"To make a long story short, Ethan is in some deep shit and I think we can help, if we all work together." I say.

"What type of deep shit?" Michelle asks, sounding scared.

"... I'll leave that to Ethan to say." I say as I notice the man pulling into a parking lot of a booming business. It was very... public.

"Why are we in a Ruth's parking lot?" Michelle asks.

"I don't know." I say, but then I see it. The man steps out of his car and goes into another one. An all black tinted out Dodge Cherokee.

"Michelle, I need a huge favor." I say.

"What?" She asks.

"I need your clothes." I say staring at her black hoodie and sweats, we pulled her out of her comfort moment.

"Aww man!" She says annoyed by my request.

"Give it back immediately, today was my strict no crop top day and I take these very seriously." She says evil eying my cropped top and shorts.

I crawl to the back seat as we swap clothes as fast as possible and Michelle crawls to the drivers seat.

"So what exactly is the plan?"  Gabbie asks.

  "I'm going to wait til he gets out of the car, you're going to record, and I'm going to ask for drugs." I say and Michelle and Gabbie whip around simultaneously.

"What?!" Michelle asks.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Drugs? Sammy you sound insane, no!" Gabbie yells at me.

"Look, I understand your concern but it's fine!" I say.

"Fine? Nothing's fine about this! I told you to stay away from Ethan and now you're telling me he's in deep shit with a fucking drug de-" Michelle starts.

"Wait! He's coming out! Start the camera!" I say and hop out the car making my way to him.

Shit! Sammy what the ACTUAL fuck are you doing?

I lick my finger tips and wipe my mascara and lipstick a little, I lower my shoulders and clear my throat as I approach him.

"Hey... um, can I ask you something?" I say with a weak voice.

"You just did." He says before turning around and looking me up and down.

I take a couple steps back and scratch my neck.

He looks around him then back at me.

"What?" He asks assertively.

" I uh.. you know where I could get some...you know." I say and he smiles.

It wasn't pleasant.

"You?" He asks raising his eyebrows and chuckles.

"Yeah.. I know where you can get some, but it's pretty pricey, you sure you can afford it?" He asks, looking me up and down again.

"What exactly you got?" I ask. He looks me up and down AGAIN and then goes to his car.

My heart races a bit but I'm fully prepared to run if I have to.

He comes back with pills and weed.

This is some small shit, this is kill a man worthy? I could get pot from Seth!

I sigh,

"How expensive could pot be?" I ask, confused.

"I take offense to that, this is some good shit. Wanna try?" He says and I shake my head.

"I believe you....I'll take both." I say shakily, just wanting to leave at this point.

He scrunches his face in surprise.

"That'll be $300" He says while placing the drugs in my hand.

My eyes go wide.

"$300? Are you kidding me?" I ask and he chuckles.

"What you don't trust me?" He asks.

"Why would I?" I respond.

He chuckles again.

"Smart kid, just because I like you, I'm going to give you my card, and give you a discount. $280." He says and I roll my eyes.

I count the cash in front of him and slap it in his hand.

"Bye." I say and quickly walk away. I hear him chuckle some more before I hear him get into his car and pull off.

Once he does, I turn back into the direction of Michelle's car and book it.

Once I got in Gabbie and Michelle stare at me.

"Holy shit! You smell like skunk!" Michelle says and I sigh.

"Sorry I put weed in your hoodie, I'll wash it I promise." I say and she rolls her eyes only for them to widen immediately after.

"Wait, you actually bought drugs?!?" She asks sounding pissed.

"It's just weed, chill. You act like you've never smoked it." I say. Not telling the full truth, knowing they'd flip out.

"Yeah but when I got it, I got it from friends not an actual drug dealer." She says.

"And where do you think they got it from? I'm throwing it away anyway." I say and she rolls her eyes.

"Look, I had to buy it so it looked real on camera. Did you get his face good?" I ask and Gabbie nods.

"Yeah. I got it. Now what are we going to do with it?" She asks and I smile.

"Leverage baby." I say and they both look at me like I'm insane.

"Start the car, I'm starving." I say.

"Oh shit! My Thai food!" Gabbie yells as we pull off.

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I sat on my bed for hours staring at the pills in front of me. HOURS!

Trying my hardest to fight my urges but the truth is, my body was a lot stronger than my brain and my body wanted them now!

What I never told a soul, was that I was addicted to opioids, after my ex drugged me so many times, my body became dependent on them. The only reason I ended up getting off of them was because of the mental hospital I had to be in for 30 days after everything went down, right before we moved.

I never got a chance to even think about taking pills, no day has been boring. No day has not been distracting, but today I have thought of every good reason why I shouldn't take this pill, and the only thing I care about is why I should.

That hour of nothing. No distractions, no work, no school, no practice, no siblings, no parents, no criminal record, no ex boyfriend living in my house, no secrets, no drug dealers, no depression. Just me, and bliss.

And it felt like if I didn't have that right now, I'd die.

....So I took it.