Chapter 28: Don't Talk To Me

   I feel... I don't know... I just feel different.

Lately I've been in a state of realization.

  It's senior year and I feel like, in every aspect of my life.....I'm clueless.

Where am I going after this? Are my parents still going to support me or will I have to get a job? What is my passion? What....am I doing?!

Being sick, has really made me think about life and how I'm living it like it's some stupid Disney movie, I am not Zendaya from Zapped, I'm not Debby Ryan from Radio Rebel, I'm literally living my life continuously, like life goes on after High school!

Ughhh! I press my head against my locker and close my eyes.

   I told the boys that I wasn't going to speak to them for a while, to kind of clear my head and focus on other things like school, and life after school.

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"Run the lines again!" Cassidy, my theatre teacher says aka NORRA!

    "You aren't saying this just to flatter me are you?" Says a girl whose name I don't remember. Casted as the role of Deana, in a short play a student wrote two years ago.

"Of course not Deana, you are....enchanting." Says the male lead Jeffery, playing the role of Kan.

    "Oh dear!" Deana says shyly while putting her hand on his chest.

  My head goes back and forth between the characters as the reenact this God forsaken play.

I mean... it's just awful! Who said this should keep getting played?

   "Uhm...Cassidy?" I tap her shoulder and she turns around sharply and rolls her eyes. Lifting her hand and closing it into a fist, the "actors" on the stage stop.

  I roll my eyes back. Of course the DRAMA teacher is filled with Drama.

   "I need some water." Is all I say and she rolls her eyes again.

   "And I need for you... whatever your name is, to stop interrupting my art! Leave! Get your throat quencher and be back to play the part of Kan's dog!" She says and I blink at her.

   I just walk away, not wanting to hear another word from NORRA.

    I walk out of the theatre in complete disbelief of how she just told me I was going to be a dog.

    I didn't need water. I needed to get out of there.

  Sarah and Travis were all blushing and talking and everyone else were so stuck up!

   I was drowning in annoyance in there and I couldn't take it!

   I walked to my locker, trying to grab my snacks from there when I saw Ethan laughing with his friends down the hall. I sigh and try to be as quiet as possible so they won't see me but as soon as my locker opened, a book fell out and I sighed looking down at while leaning against my locker door with no motivation to pick it up. I feel breathe touch my skin and a throat clear.

   "I know we're not supposed to be talking, but you look sad." He says and I want to throw something at him.

  He has no right trying to cheer me up!

   "Ethan, leave. We're not supposed to talk. It's not fair to Alex." I say and he sighs.

   "Come on Sammy, what are we doing? You already know that Alex is a phase, and that I'm the real deal." Ethan says and I sigh once again. I still haven't looked up at him.

  I've just been staring at the book.

    "I like Alex." I say and Ethan scoffs.

   "Do you? Really?" He asks and I look up for the first time in this conversation.

  His eyes grab mine and I shiver at the intensity.

   "I have to go." I say and try to close my locker and walk away, but he grabbed my arm.

   "Sammy..." He says in a low voice.

   "Why are we doing this?" He asks.

And my lip quivers, I'm about to get angry.

    "Ethan, this is all your fault! If you would have told me that day, that you wanted me to be your girlfriend, I would have dropped everything for you, it's not my fault that I got emotionally connected to someone after you completely shut me out. I like Alex, I really do and it's not fair that you're using our chemistry against my feelings. The fact is that, you're not ready, and I like him! So just play by my rules or none at all! No. Talking. To. Me."
I say, snatching my arm away from him and walking away.

   I go back into class and watch the rest of the dreadful play.

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"5,6,7,8!" Yells Michelle as we break into our jaw dropping routine.

    With a combination of kicks, flips, and spins our routine was complete.

And as our final spin approaches, I see the football team walk in and my stomach turns as I make out Alex's face.

   When he catches my eye, his face falls and so does mine. I hate not talking to them, but it's the rules.

   When I realize that his fallen face wasn't of sadness but of anger, I grow confused.

   Michelle calls practice to an end and I walk to him.

   Picking up the bottom of my over sized T-shirt, and wiping the sweat off my forehead, exposing the bottom half of my stomach.

When I reach him, he rolls his eyes at me and I keep my confused expression.

"Did I do something wrong?" I ask softly. He sighs and looks up to the ceiling.

"You talked to Ethan." He says and I sigh.

"He talked to me first. I didn't want to, I was just.... I'm sorry and I know it wasn't fair." I say and he sighs, looking me in my eyes.

"Sam, what are we doing?" He asks and I sigh. Why do they both have to ask me that.

"I.... don't know." I say honestly.

"Look, I really like you and I know that you really like me, but are any of us even ready for a relationship? I mean, we graduate this year, and we don't know where we're going. Including Ethan. I don't think any of us know what we really want." He says.

"When you say it like that, it makes everything sound so real. I just can't imagine graduating and not being friends with the both of you. You both mean so much to me and I don't want to loose that to distance or relationship issues, I want this to be painless for all of us." I say and basically tear up a bit because I'm an emotional mess if you couldn't tell by prior incidents.

"Listen, Samantha, no matter who you pick, if you pick, when you pick, or how you pick, we will always be friends. You get me. I love being around you. You make me smile like... all the time. I would never want to give that up either." He says and I smile. We both smile at each other for a little too long and Michelle clears her throat.

"Okay lovebirds, I need my ride home now." She says and I sigh.

"See you." I say with a small smile on my face.

"See you." He says softly and waving goodbye as Michelle drags me out the gym.

"What happened to not talking to either of them?" She asks and I sigh.

"It lasted about 6 hours." I say and sigh.

Time for a new plan.