Chapter 24: Please

I stare at the figure which haunts my home, he stands tall, brave, with motivated eyes and I stand small, weak, with saddened and confused roaming eyes.

My eyes drift from him, to the floor, to my fidgeting hands.

   "Can we talk?" He asks and I stare at him.

   "Are we gonna get anywhere with it? Or is it just going to turn out like all our conversations prior?" I ask with my arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed.

He sighs.

   "I'm ready to really talk, I promise." He says and I straighten my posture, my eyes go wide.

He's really serious. I hesitantly gesture for him to follow me as I walk him to my room. Closing the door softly behind us.

    "Go ahead." I say, gesturing for him to speak.
He clears his throat and sits with me on the edge of my bed.

   "I've never told anyone this before, I've never really said it out loud so....just bare with me." He says and looks nervous.

I really have no idea what to expect, I just know what I saw that day.

   "My mom is....she... she's really sick and right now we can't afford much because all our money goes to her treatments." He says looking really sad and uncomfortable with saying it out loud.

I genuinely was not expecting that at all and I was in shock and confused all at once, but I know my first instinct was to comfort him.

So without even thinking about it, my hand shot for his and I looked him in his eyes.

   "Ethan, you don't have to talk about it, it's okay. I'm sure you had a reason, it's fine." I say and he just shakes his head.

   "No, Sam, I have to explain it to you. I don't want you to think of me as a drug dealer." He says and my heart drops.

   I feel so bad.

"Anyway, her treatments are helping but we don't have enough to cover the medicine, so I deal with some pretty bad guys in order to get it." He says looking ashamed.

   "Ethan..." I say, not knowing what else to say.

   "Sometimes, I run errands for them and they give me free medicine." He says and my heart sinks even farther.

   "Like...what?" I ask, concern and fear in my voice.

   "Sammy, I've seen some things, but I have NEVER done anything. Sometimes they just have me ride along with them, to intimidate some of the people they work with, sometimes they make me go and look out for the newbies and see if they're being loyal, but nothing more." He try's to explain, but I still thought it was extremely dangerous and didn't feel too comfortable.

I stood up and looked at him.

"Ethan, It has to be another way to get that medicine. I mean.... what does your mom say about all this?" I ask, fear in my voice.

"She thinks I'm interning at a clinic, who in exchange give me medicine for her." He says and I stare in his eyes, he looks ashamed.

"Sammy, I know this sounds terrible that I'm lying to her and I know I shouldn't have ever gotten involved with these dudes, but there is no other way." He says, looking exhausted.

"Maybe I can help?" I offer.

"No. No! Sammy....my family isn't a charity case, it's just real life. In real life we don't have rich people fixing our problems." He says and it sort of hurt.

"I was just trying to help, and FYI.... your mom's life isn't some 'problem', it's a 'real life'." I say and open the door, gesturing for him to leave.

But he grabs my hand from the door and brings it to his chest. I look at him, confused and dazed at the same time.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. It's....just not your problem. You don't need to help. It's fine, I didn't tell you this to worry, I told you this so you can trust me." He says and I nod.

" I trust you." I say just above a whisper and look him in his eye once again.

"Good." He says and was about to leave out the door, but I grabbed his arm.

"You don't have to go. We can hang out if you want." I say and his face curves into a slight smile.

"Sure." He says backing up into the room again and I close the door.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Time had gone and Ethan was still here. We were catching up on things and to be honest I felt so happy. I didn't know how much I missed him until I got him back.

    "Hey, Ethan?" I ask. He raises his eyebrows in a, 'yes?' gesture and I continue to speak.

"Are we going to be okay? Or was this like a peace offering?" I ask. He looks confused.

   "What do you mean?" He asks and turns his body to give me his full attention.

   "Like... are we friends again? Or was this just a conversation to end beef and stay mutually unbothered?" I specify and he frowns.

    "We're definitely friends again and I promise to be honest with you from now on. No more hiding things, I'll just be an open book." He says and I smile.

   "Me too. Speaking of.....we need to get some rules,okay?" I say and he nods.

    "We're starting over, I don't want to start back off on the same foot we were on. We were in a weird place where we didn't know what we wanted. So, I feel like we shouldn't be anything but friends until we figure that out." I say and he frowns once again.

    "Wait... I'm not sure I'm okay with that 100%." He says and I chuckle in disbelief.

   "Why not?" I ask actually curious as to why. I thought it's what he wanted.

   "Because we're clearly more than friends, Sammy." He says and I roll my eyes.

   "Are we boyfriend and girlfriend?" I ask.

"No."

"Then we're just friends!" I exclaim.

  "Sammy, it's more difficult than that..." He says and I roll my eyes once more.

   "Do you like me or not?!" I scream out in frustration!

   "I do, I'm just not ready to be a boyfriend yet." He says and I sigh.

   "Then what do you want me to do? Wait for you?" I ask and he sighs.

    "You know what, you're right, it's selfish of me to want you to wait on me. You can date whoever you want, because we are just friends." He says calmly. He has his eyes on the floor and elbows on his knees, his head swung down due to poor posture and his face had an expression of confusion.

   I place my hand on his shoulder and squeeze. He looks up at me and into my eyes and I smile, big and toothy.

Suddenly he reaches behind me wraps his arms around me, putting his face in my neck. At first I was shocked, but then I hugged him back, and it felt good.

When he pulled away he looked me in my eyes again he took a deep breath.

   "Nope. Can't do it! We are definitely more than friends!" He exaggerates and I throw my head back and groan.

  We basically have the same argument for 15 minutes until Sarah busts in the room like a mad man.

  "Would you, SHUT. UP. ALREADY!" She shouts and we both look at her baffled.

   "Sam, you don't want to date anybody else anyway so you guys might as well do that whole, be together, but not be together thing and then eventually find out you're in love! And get married! And have babies! And live happily ever after! Or not! I really don't care, JUST SHUT UP!" She screams at us and our faces mirror each other's we look completely taken aback.

The room is silent for a minute and then Sarah storms out.

Ethan and I look at each other and then he quickly stands and grabs his jacket off the bed.

  "I ugh, gotta go! See ya buddy, just friend, old pal!" He says and awkwardly smiles before basically running away.

   I blink at his darting figure and close my door.

  Great, Sarah broke my not boyfriend, boy, friend.