Chapter 17- Secret?

"Congratulations honey!" My dad yells and gives me a huge hug. He had just walked in the door. My mom called him after she found out I got on the cheer squad. He brought me an orange soda and a blueberry muffin, my two favorite things. I smiled and hugged him again.

" Thanks dad." I say and walk up to my room. It's been a long day and I missed my bed. I haven't been on my phone at all today, so I planned on laying down and scrolling through Instagram.

My plans were interrupted when I got to my room and actually checked my phone though.

I had a missed call and text from Ethan. My heart basically stopped as I stared. I sat down and took a deep breath.

  "Okay Sam, you can do this." I tell myself.

  I open the message.

Hey it's, Ethan. Call me when you can.

I smile and hover my finger over the call button.

   What if I say something dumb again?

Right when I was about to give up and put my phone down, I got a call. It was Ethan again. I about screamed!

  As I calmed myself down I answered.

  "Hey." I say.

  "What's up?" He asks.

"Nothing, I was just about to lay down. I had a long day." I say.

  "What did this long day consist of?" He asks.

  "My friends trying to convince me that you're my boyfriend, and cheer try outs." I say.

  "Wait, your friends know about us?" He asks. I pause.

  "Well, yeah. It's not like there's much to know, but of course they're my friends." I say.

  "They're also the most popular gossips in the school, Samantha." He says sounding a bit angry.

  "Well, I'm sorry, but I didn't know eating dinner that you owed me was private." I say sort of angry back.

  "Well it was! " He says raising his voice.

"If you didn't want people gossiping about our NONE EXISTENT RELATIONSHIP then maybe you shouldn't pin me against a locker in the middle of the hall way, or whisper in my ear at lunch or TAKE ME ON NOT DATE, DATES!" I yell in the phone and hang up. I sigh and stare blankly at the ground.

Okay, what the heck just happend?

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Last night, after stress eating the snacks my dad had bought me, I went into a full blown emotional attack. I watched Hexes for my Exes poems all night and stress ate some more, and then played Beyoncé's I aint sorry, Cardi B' s Be careful and Demi Lovato's Sorry not sorry on repeat!

  I even cried! I freaking CRIED! Over some dude that I just met, that I happened to really really REALLY like and that I yelled at and that I have to go to school with.

  I got up hoping that Ethan would just skip and that I wouldn't have to look at him. I mean, honestly I went all psycho on him.

    I sigh and get ready, not putting in much effort. I comb my hair and throw on a white, blue and lavender strapless striped dress that reached just above my knee. I paired that with an oversized jean jacket and white Tom's.

I finish getting dressed and walk down stairs to my siblings waiting at the the door. I was finally allowed to drive so when we made it outside Gabbie and the gang were waiting on the porch.

   "Ready?" I ask them. They nod. We all gather in the car and head on our way.

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   "Good morning class, you remember what you were working on yesterday, finish that up and then turn to page 62 and work with a neighbor or by yourself to answer the questions.

I sigh and do as told, as I was just starting, the door opened and about 3 students came rushing with tardy passes, all except one. Ethan. I quickly turned back to my work and successfully stayed focused on it... for about 60 seconds.

I purposefully sat in between people so if he did come, he wouldn't be next to me, but I did think about him sitting in front of me.

I sigh as he takes his seat, ignoring my existence. And the class goes on.

It only gets weird when he says to partner up or work alone because the assignment was really difficult and everyone else was already getting up to sit with somebody. The only loners were Ethan, a girl named Elaine who was way too smart to want to work with anyone and I. I sigh as I continue to do my work.

As I'm struggling with number 14 I hear someone clear their throat. I look up to see Ethan looking down at me.

  "Yeah?" I ask dryly?

"I need help." He says. I look at him and then look around.

  "Ask Elaine." I say. He gives me an 'are you stupid?' type of look and sits down beside me.

  "You and I both know, she'll probably shit bricks if I talk to her and plus... I'M really only comfortable talking to you." He says. I look at him and roll my eyes.

  "Don't do that, you can't do that." I say. He frowns.

  "What are you talking about?" He asks confused.

  "You can't look at me like that, and say those things, and then confuse the hell out of me. I'm over it." I say and stand up, trying to walk away, I don't know where considering the fact that it was 20 minutes of class left. He grabs my arm and looks me in my eye.

" Can we re-have that conversation from last night? "
He asks. I look at his hand holding my arm and sigh.

  "I don't want to. I'm done being discreet about something that doesn't even exist." I whisper.

  "Something does exist... It's just, it's complicated okay?" He says. I shake my head.

"It's not okay, because I gave you the benefit of the doubt. I helped you, I became your friend after everyone told me you were nothing but trouble. I'm getting to know you, and I like you,but we aren't dating, we aren't talking and we can't tell anyone about our "not date, date" I sound like a fool. If I let myself go through that, then I AM a fool. " I say. He sighs.

" You're right. I get it, but I just... I can't be public about, whatever we have right now. I just can't. " He says and it disappoints me. I just sit back down emotionless.

  " What did you need help with? " I asked in monotone.

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