Liam started to grow uneasy as I stared at him longer.  Just five more minutes until class was over.  I knew I had to talk to Liam.  He would know what's up with Niall!  Plus he's avoiding me in health class already...since when would he ever do that?  

I peeked at Harry too, who happens to not be sitting by me.  His face holds a little confused expression, with his eyebrows in.  Why does he always look like that in class?  The bell dinged and I stood up quickly.  Liam knew I was going to come up to him so he slowly put his books back in his bookbag.  I guess I do feel awkward about this...But I'm so desperate to hear about my...ex.  I hate saying that.

"Uh, Liam." I fakely smiled when I got over there.

"Follow me, let's talk." Liam replied and lead the way out of the classroom.  

I whispered a 'yes!' to myself and scurried after him.  Where will I end up this time, having a serious conversation with someone?  I swear this happens every single day.  Simply, the cafe was where we went.  No sign of Niall.  Psh, there never is anyways.

"I know I shouldn't be talking to you for what you did.  But I missed you Grace." Liam started and pulled my chair out for me. 

He truly is the nicest person ever.  But what's this 'I shouldn't be talking to you' shit.  It's not like Niall didn't do anything!  Liams never even heard from me, how can he assume what happened just from Niall?

"I missed you too Liam.  How is Niall?" It felt weird talking about my leprechaun again.

"You know..." Liam sighed.

"Bad?" I guessed.

"Yeah, bad."

"Oh." This is so awkwardly silent, "Will I be able to talk to him?  Soon?" 

"I don't think that's a good idea, Grace." Liam says.  

"Why?  IS HE OKAY?" I start to get worried.

"Yeah!  Relax.." Liam tried to stay quiet.

I pause for a minute then spill my feelings, "I'm not gonna relax!  This whole 'break up' thing wasn't supposed to be like he disappears from my life!  We could work through stuff!  Now no body will tell me a God damn thing about anything!  I'm so lost, Liam!  I thought you would help me but I guess I thought wrong."  

After a couple minutes of silence, he finally told me, "He went home last weekend.  Wouldn't even talk to me, now I guess he feels the need to talk to someone.  He's telling me everything but it's not my words to tell.  He's okay, Grace.  A little heartbroken, but I'm just trying to help him--you know.  So don't talk to him."  

What the hell?  I can talk to who I want to!  He's really okay?  And doesn't want me to talk to him.  I expected something different I guess.  Not sure what, but not this.  I didn't want to cause a scene so I told Liam I'm going to the restroom.  He most likely knew I was lying. 

I went into a stall and locked it.  Well shit.  I'm that girl who cries in a bathroom stall.  I covered my mouth to hold in sobs and let the tears drop.  How'd this all even start?  Niall suspected Harry and I liked eachother?!? Lies.  Then Zayn and I kissed on the canoe got around.  That didn't even happen!!  Being in a dramatic school I guess caused all this.  Niall and I so could of stayed together.  But obviously he doesn't want to talk to me.

Well the only person that wants to talk to me is Zayn.  So I will.  I would of never expected this.  Niall to turn on me.  And Zayn to become the good guy.  Why does everyone think he's so bad?  His friends are total dicks though...great, I don't want to doubt myself now.  

I swiped my thumb under my eyes, getting all the makeup off.  I'm gonna look so, so pretty.  I sigh and walk out of the bathroom.  Should I even go back to Liam?  I can at least wave goodbye.  I haven't talked to him in a long time.  

I walk back feeling different than everyone else.  Everyone else has British accents.  Everyone else is laughing and talking with their friends.  Everyone else is happy.  I get distracted seeing one new text message from 'Harold ur bestie'.  Yeah, totally my bestie.  I'll respond in a bit.  

I turn the corner and my eyes land on Liam.  There he is...and sweet baby Jesus he's with Niall.  

Niall's back is to me.  I warm up seeing his blond messy hair.  I wish I could see his face...but I'm not going to talk to him if that's what I'm not supposed to do.  They both have their elbows propped on the table and they're leaning in.  Secretive, eh?  Probably talking about me.  Niall talking about me, even if it's in a bad way, makes me excited.  I hope he thinks about me, worries about me, and misses me as much as I do for him.  

Being the loner I am, I head to my locker.  I need some time alone.  That could maybe help me be less stressful.  I am literally always with someone.  Well besides the shower and all.  But I need a break.  No matter how much I love these people, I do.

There was barely anyone in the locker hallway.  Maybe three other people but none I knew.  I sat on the ground by my locker.  I took out my homework and phone.  Surprisingly, I have homework for once.  

I had the urge to listen to music so I put earbuds in.  It was paused on my Justin Timberlake playlist.  Pressing play, "Tunnelvision" started.  I opened up my notebook and got to work.  

About thirty minutes later I had a lot of work done.  I smiled when I saw Eleanor walk in.  She didn't even see me, but soon her eyes widened.

"Gracie!" El exclaimed.

I couldn't hear her much because my music was loud.  I pointed towards my earbuds while laughing.  She rushed over then sat next to me.  Soon, El had an earbud in her ear too listening with me.  Truly that was exactly what I wanted right now.  At least Eleanor has stuck with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My little break relaxed me a lot.  Although this class was boring, I was happier than I usually was.  Happier than I am lately.  I volunteered to answer math problems on the board like my last math class.  It makes class feel much quicker.  

Zayn was in this class like usual.  He was being his normal Zayn self though and sleeping.  This teacher doesn't care though.  She goes by the rule that if you're falling asleep it is your loss.  You're just not going to know what we're doing the next class.  Zayn's actually really smart though.  I'm surprised, no offense to him.

I giggled when the bell rang.  Zayn's head popped up so quickly and he rubbed his eyes.  

"Zayn, you fall asleep every class." I comment.

"Wha...oh.  Hey babes.  Math?" He croaked.

I laughed even harder and pulled his tie so he'd get up.  I ended up having to keep dragging him by his tie.  It's like he's my dog and on a leash.  I let go once we were outside of the classroom.

"Can you kiss me?" He mumbled.

"Zayn you're so out of it!" I rolled my eyes.

"Where am I?" 

He actually continues to look extremely hot.  His eye's are full of sleep and his hair messy.  God, in the morning it's probably even worse.  I need to quit fantasizing over him.  But my goodness..

"Zayn!"  I laughed and pushed my way through the crowded hallway.  

He is such a slow poke.  I turned around to grab his hand and pull him along.  When I turned back around I collided with someone.  My notebooks dropped.  Along with whoever else's dropped...the name across their  notebooks was written "Harry Styles".  Oh.

"Sorry Harry-" I paused.

Why was Ella next to him?  Everyone's eyes flickered back and forth.  Harry to mine.  Mine to Ella.  Zayn to Ella.  Harry to Zayn.  Ella to mine.  YOU GET THE POINT.  It went on forever.  I guess I shouldn't be worried since I always wanted Zayn and he's right next to me.  But it slightly pisses me off that the girl who has made me cry, ruined Niall and I, hit me with a lacrosse ball, (and the list goes on) IS RIGHT NEXT TO HARRY!

"Erm.." Harry mumbled and put his hand behind his neck.

"Uh.." I added.

"Zayn!  I got to show you something!  Let's go!" Ella said excitedly.  

Zayn shrugged and gave me a side hug.  He whispered 'talk to you later' in my ear. I blushed at everyone watching.  I just kept my eyes on Harry who was glaring harder and harder at Zayn.  I can totally see him doing that!  Don't you know that Harry?!  

Ella and Zayn left.  This resulted in Harry stomping off so we're not in the middle of the hallway.  I jogged after him and crossed my arms.  Great, the stress is back again.  

"Did you get my text?" Harry started. 

"Yeah." I told him.  I forgot to answer, shit.

"Why didn't you answer?"

"I was rushing through the halls, I'm sorry Harry!"  

He just kept shaking his head.  Why does he seem so different.  I thought we could be friends and have fun together.  We're never having fun together anymore.  He's always acting so weird!  I don't know if I can handle it anymore. 

"Why are you so different?" Slips out of my mouth.  Might as well ask.  

His eye's widened and he took a step closer.  I gulped.  I felt his minty breath on my face as he chuckled.  

"Grace, I think we all know who is different here.  You told me you were cold the night of the football game.  Then I figure out you really had a snog with Zayn?  I mean.. wow okay?  Don't tell me shit.  Ohh he won't give me his sweatshirt.  Were you lying?"  Harry nailed me with another question I didn't want to answer.

I bite my lip, "Harry...yes we did..kiss.."  I watched as Harry clenched his fists. "..but before that, all of it was true!  I'm sorry if you're mad at me!  If you want to yell at me...yell at me."  

My eye's widened as he looked more and more pissed.  Why is he getting so mad over this?!  I want him to stop the whole scary act.  It's working.  I stepped back a little, so he wasn't so up in my face.

"Okay.  Truthfully, I don't usually like shy girls.  But I miss the old Gracie with everything I have.  I miss the Gracie who flipped when we danced at the party.  When we talked about our families by the field.  I know you blushed when I would say perverted things.  Remember when the power went out and you were so worried?  I miss the shy, innocent you.  I feel like that's who you really are..and he's changed you."  Harry ranted.  The more and more he talked, the more and more his face softened.

My heart started beating fast.  I'm freaking out...what do I say to that?  I felt some kind of complement from what he said...maybe that he liked my personality.  But now he's blaming me "changing" because I hang out with Zayn.  I was so angry and confused at the same time.  

"If by he you mean Zayn, you should take that back.  Can you worry just about us and not my relationships with other people!"  I say more harshly than I should have.  

But it is true!  Harry and I are totally different than Zayn and I.  Harry got between Niall and me too.  He needs to just worry about himself sometimes.  

"I'm done with this conversation... There's no us when you're with Zayn, love.  I bet you still don't even get it.  Bye Grace." Harry laughed and looked extremely sad at the same time.  

I pulled at my hair when he walked away.  I wanted to let out a scream.  What can I do to satisfy everyone?  GAHHHHH!  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I laid in my bed, legit tossing and turning.  It's really late at night.  It was another time when Chelle came in right before 'lights off' so we barely spoke to eachother.  Even when we did...it wasn't the same.  

I obviously understand that this is happening ever since Zayn and I became a thing.  But I'm happy with him, why would I have to give that up to get everything back?  

Everything is starting to make me feel depressed.  Laying here, knowing most of your best friends hate you doesn't feel good.  I want everything back to normal.  But why am I the one to do it?  Why does this seem so hard for me and nobody else?  

My head pounded because I was thinking way too much.  For once, I actually wanted to be home.  Never this whole experience at boarding school I wanted to.  But to be alone in my safe and sound bedroom sounds like heaven.  I feel scared here.  Like I say one thing and people are going to hate me.  

I put my earbuds back in.  I need to get sleep, I have classes tomorrow!  If this music doesn't calm me down...I don't know what else would.  I was too lazy to change the song.  It was "Blue Ocean Floor"  , I put it on repeat though because it was super relaxing.  (a/n: Listen to the song on the sidebar, it's so deep idk nuggets just do it:D)  

The one thing I wish I had right now was someone to support and hug me.  Zayn should be that person I picture.  But it's not, It's Niall.  And I'm afraid it always will be.   

'Frequency's so low...

Rain made of echoes.  Tidal wave rushing on and on..." 

My throat felt like it was closing and I gasped for air.  I couldn't get any.  Where the hell was I?  I couldn't breathe.  And it was painful.  That's all I know.  

I saw Zayn through the glass wall and tried to get his attention.  Nothing.  I saw Harry, Chelle, and my best friends.  Nothing.  They looked overly happy and distracted.  I was going to die.  You cannot live long without air.  

'Under the water you scream so loud but the silence surrounds you...
But I hear it loud and you fall in the deep and I'll always find you...'

When I felt as if it wasn't worth it anymore, gentle arms wrapped around me from behind.  They held me with such care and I curled into the body.  I could feel the love radiating off this person.  Hell, it was Niall.  

'Just send your heartbeat...I'll go to the blue ocean floor...'

I smiled and somehow we ended up in his basement.  He wasn't there though.  My love opened the door and came down with a guitar.  He had a snapback on his head.  "So what are you going to play?" I asked.  "A song I should of listened to.. Never let you go.." Niall said.  

We walked to another room and now I was sitting upstairs somewhere.  There were flashing lights.  And music playing Blue Ocean Floor.  Harry walked up to me and started kissing me.  "Will you be my girlfriend?"  I closed my eyes and opened them.  I was in a car sleeping on someones lap.  A girl who must be related to Harry was driving.  She looked exactly like him.  I sighed and went to sleep.

I was in an amusement park.  A couple people asked if I wanted glowsticks.  I nodded and Harry came out of no where.  He was drawing shapes with the glowstick on my face.  We walked into a coffee shop and it led to a bedroom.  "I love you." Harry whispered while laying next to me.  I thought,   'I love you Niall Horan..I really do...'

'Heart beats at a steady pace, I'll let the rhythm show me the way...

No one can find us here, fade out and disappear...'

I suddenly stare at the same glass wall.  Whipping my head around I see someone familiar, yet so far away.  It's Niall for sure.  His hair is styled differently.  I have to look up to look into his eyes, he's taller.  He reaches for both my hands and holds them.  We, Niall and I, stayed there.  Content and with great ecstasy...

____________________________________________

Authors Note:  IF YOU COULDNT TELL THAT WAS A DREAM.  the video on the side is beautiful. but omg nuggets...

THANKS FOR 1 MILLION!!!!! x100000......ur reward is ur fav boy from 1d.  Just call 1-800-Turdy Seven-Tousand, once again that's 1-800-Turdy Seven-Tousand.  No shipping and handling.  Zen will answer and tell him ur order!  Your boy will be all ready to go, waiting in your bedroom!  The clothes will cost extra!  But who needs clothes!  

I get off topic. I love you guys so so much EEPP! I'm so happy I got to 1 million thanks to you<3

Dedication: 1. Vote. 2. What did u think the dream was about?  Just in general or if u think of a deep meaning;) 

- L e e T o m m o <3