When people hear the word nerd, they always think of weirdos with glasses and pimples who read plenty of books by the corner.

Often, these people are riddled with social anxiety and years spent living in isolation. But strangely enough, at the end of the fairy tale, people almost always expect them to be the prom king or prom queen. If not, they shall have a happily ever after with either. But this tale of mine will be different.

My epilogue will not end by marrying this class's bad boy and bearing their child.

Jokes on you, there isn't even one in my class.

Or in the next class.

Because this is an all-girls academy.

Contrary to what I'm supposed to be doing now to further hook you into reading what should be interesting parts of my life, I'm gonna outright tell you right now that I lead a boring life.

How boring? Well, that depends on what constitutes as boring in your vocabulary. In my opinion, my life is pretty average.

In the morning, I eat breakfast like a normal person. So normal that I pour the milk before the cereal just to piss off the people with a cereal-first policy. Our ozone layer is really out there getting ripped the more time passes by and you all fighting about milk and cereal? Sounds like you have your priorities straight. It's the same thing either way.

After that, I get dressed and make my way to school. Or in my case, academy. Every step I take toward my destination only makes my anxiety worse. In there, people will be present. But that was not the worst part of all. I was going to be forced to talk to them. If not, my grades will ultimately fail.

I cannot let that happen.

However, some people will do nothing to prevent that from occurring. In fact, they would welcome it so openly that they would disregard how others may feel towards their actions. Nor do they even plan to take responsibility for the consequences of their selfish decisions.

One of those is lazy group mates that force you into taking on the majority of the work. Might as well have done the project solo, but the teacher has different ideas. And even with the 3% of the part they've done, all of it is just half-hearted.

I am no criminal. But there are days I'm tempted to be one.

Today, however, I have no need of those temptations for there would be no justifiable basis in place.

While I believe true art cannot be made without romanticism, adhering to it while facing life ahead isn't my policy. Therefore, do not expect me to describe how dazzling the sun is as I walk down the hallway that would eventually lead to our classroom. Nor are such statements like, "The clamorous wave composed of their laughs, noises, and chitchats swept me off the moment I opened the door," existent within me.

People call me a nerd and as someone who religiously visits the dictionary, I hate to admit that I do in fact fit the standards of the indicated stereotype. In hopes of redeeming myself, I have devoted my free time to researching numerous online articles with the sole purpose of refuting what they believe to be definite. To my great horror and sadness, my efforts did not yield results and I relished myself in re-watching One Piece for months.

It's at those times that my anguish is drowned by the grief of losing my beloved Ace. Sadly, I must accept defeat regarding this matter. Further resistance will only prove to be futile and foolish. Even I know better than that. But, I will stand my ground towards the fact that I think romance is a trivial thing— well, except that it eventually aids us in reproduction and prevention of extinction.

These allos would gladly trade off their intelligence for someone who doesn't even know their name.

Honestly, such strange creatures they are.

Look, it's Molly and her clan again. There they are fascinated by their crush's artificial hair. Well, I'm not surprised. The other day, they were raving about this artist saying the word potato.

I don't get it.

I've said the word potato numerous times in my life and yet, no one has effortlessly used every last bit of air present in their lungs to so gladly scream my name.

Does this demonstrate the vast gap in not only beauty but also popularity? Indeed, it does. Unlike many, I didn't win the genetic lottery. Or perhaps, if you believe in God, it was decreed that way hundreds of billions of years ago. However, in terms of popularity, I cannot possibly hope to win.

Who am I kidding? I don't even have a single friend.

Maybe I should get a cat.

After all, cats are better than humans.

They won't take a single look at me and think I'm pathetic.

Oh, wait. I'm broke.

I can't even afford to watch legal anime because of my current financial status; how do I expect myself to take care of a cat? How absurd.

"Alright, everyone. Go back to your seats. Let's start the day with a prayer."

As always, it's the monotonous start of the day. I wonder how many years I'd save in my life if we had to skip such a thing. But then again, a peaceful but boring academic life is better than suddenly being ambushed by gigantic goldfishes that appeared out of nowhere. If that were ever to transpire, I am more than certain that I would be devoured the moment they make contact. If there was ever a league lower than that of a side character, I would surely be a member.

Not only am I frail and tiny, but also have no knowledge of martial arts and weaponry. For reference, I am 4'8 feet, that's pretty short for someone in their second year of senior high; just in case you're thinking that I'm saying this to be cute. Nothing could be further from the truth. If I was cute, then my feelings wouldn't have been such a joke for boys back when I was in elementary.

How dare they make a fool out of me by lying that they like me. And when my woeful anxiety in turn responded by making me flustered, the pricks started laughing amongst themselves.

What a naive little girl I was back then. I should have known. Why would anyone ever like me in this state?

"Has everyone picked their group leaders already?"

If I could pick between doing everything solo or by group, I would choose the former over and over again. But our Science teacher begs to differ. Not only are they a hardcore fan of groupings and would constantly snatch the opportunity whenever it presents itself, but they would also make sure to let everyone know that uncooperative members are none of their business. Sometimes, such affairs are beyond the capabilities of students and there's nothing they can do to help it.

Therefore, say it together with me. Mr. Smith is a jerk unworthy of their job.

While everyone replied affirmative and submitted the list of names along with the assigned leaders, I wondered what tragedy would be coming my way this month. For I have used all my blessing points in today's event by having almost all the class's smartest students as my members. Without a doubt, this would hardly make the performance a challenge.

Is this a sign that I'm finally dying?

No, I must not let my guard down.

After all, every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

Newton himself said it, so certainly, it must be the truth.

Just as expected, the whole group work was relatively easy, both physically and mentally, due to all of them being cooperative. It would be nice if the same scenario would play out again and again. I wouldn't mind. But I bet that would be too much to ask for in a world so cruel.

It had only been the end of the second period, yet my desire to go back home was already rising over the counter. If only I was allowed to quit class in the middle of it and still be a good student with above-average grades, I would have done so a long time ago. However, that would be asking for the impossible and I would not dare to taint my record over a passing desire like that. It would not take a smart person to realize that so many have ruined their lives by chasing after momentary happiness.

So, I sat and suffered through all the remaining periods despite my dear wish to just curl up in my blanket on my bed.

Thankfully, after seven agonizing hours, it was finally permissible to head home. It was painful, but I sucked it all up as I've done over the years. I could not have been more grateful for such a miracle and sprinted my way back to my room. Detours? I do not know of such things. Keep that to yourself.

As I finally plop down to my bed, it felt like a thousand chains have been removed from me. Nothing felt more liberating than this moment. If you may allow it, I could perhaps compare it to the greatest feeling in the world. It felt so nice as if my senses are being essentially seduced to drift off to sleep. The place filled with my wild dreams, to which I so rightfully belong.

Q: What are your first impressions of her?

Author's Notes commented inline here ➵