I am beyond pissed at Maddie. She invited our parents from Pennsylvania to LA without telling me. In the aftermath of our first family dinner in a while, I found out something that I wasn't supposed to. It was all because of the fact that they gave Maddie a collection of mementos from her childhood. I am trying my best to hide the fact that I am pissed from Ella but she was there so it is turning into a struggle. What is bothering me the most is the fact that my parents haven't told me what is going on.

"Buck, you should talk to Maddie about what's bothering you. She'll have the answers you need," Ella remarks. She is right but it is turning out to be impossible for me to confront Maddie. What if I hear something that I don't want to hear?

"But you don't under-,"

"You feel betrayed. I know what you are going through. At least you have the chance to get answers," Again she is right.

"To be honest Ella I'm scared of what I will find," I voice my concerns. My parents and I are already on shaky grounds but what if I find out the truth and it makes things worse? What if the truth forces Ella and me apart? The thought only makes my misery grow. A sigh falls from my mouth as Ella pulls me into a hug.

"Whatever happens Buck I will be with you. You gave me this ring for a reason," Ella seems to put my mind at ease. It has been an hour since then and I am finally confronting Maddide. The first thing she does is hand me a photo of a kid on a bicycle. It looks like the bicycle that Maddie used to teach me how to ride. A memory of what could only be described as one of the worst flashes across my mind. It was the day that my parents discovered me using that bike. They spent the rest of the day arguing.

"His name is Daniel. Daniel was our older brother. He was seven years old when you were born. He was gone a year later. That's why you don't remember him," Maddie tells me the story of what really happened. I stare into space. That explains why Mum and Dad were arguing that day.

"How did he die," The question falls from my mouth before I have time to think.

"Juvenile leukaemia," Maddie responds. It is at that moment that I notice the look of regret on Maddie's face. I want to hate her but none of this was her fault.

"He got sick after that photo was taken," A sigh falls from my mouth as Maddie continues the story.

"Our lives changed forever after that. Three years of hospitals and doctors. They tried everything but nothing worked," Maddie says. She is on the verge of tears. There is one thing that is bothering me though.

"I still don't understand why no one told me. I mean told me that I had a brother," the only thing I feel now is confusion and anger. A part of me wants to throw something.

"They were in shock after he died. They packed up his things. We moved town. They made me promise never to tell you," With that, I get up. I don't want to face the truth. Not without Ella. I find myself staring out of the window as I try to wrap my head around the news that I have been told.

"It doesn't make any sense," I said. I hate that my parents put me in this position. At least I have some clue as to why they have been distant.

"They were grieving Buck. I think they still are," Maddie gets to work on defending them. I don't get why they are bothering as they were the ones that put us in this mess. I glance over at Maddie and she is on the verge of crying. I can't blame her as it was a terrible thing that happened. It didn't have the best consequences either.

"So I was born in the middle of all of that," I say as I start pacing around.

"Of him being sick," I confirm. Maddie reluctantly nods.

"Leukaemia...I'm surprised they didn't try a bone marrow transplant," I am confused by that fact.

"None of us were a match. Not Dad, not Mum, not me. They couldn't find a match," It is at that moment the full weight of the situation hits me. I am the one that was supposed to save Daniel.

"So they made one. Me," The resentment towards my parents only grows.

"You were a match however the cells didn't graft. Daniel had a relapse. I wanted to tell you so many times but as time went by it just got harder you know? And I'm so sorry," That is the final straw. Instead of lashing out, I leave. There is nothing that I can do or say that would make the situation better.

"Evan, please don't leave. Just talk to me," I hear Maddie yell but I am not going to. She told me all that I needed to know. It is the day after and I am explaining everything to the others. They deserve to know. At least they will have my back unlike some. I spent the rest of the day with Ella. She is the only person that is keeping me sane while I work out what is going on.

"That explains so much about you," Eddie remarks. He is right. It explains all of the times that I have been reckless.

"It's a miracle you even survived childhood," Ella jokes. Well, it may be a joke but it is true.

"It's a miracle that he survived yesterday," Eddie counters Ella's remark.

"Unfortunately it was the only way that I could get their attention. Now I know why. They didn't even want another kid. They just had me for parts. Defective parts as it turns out," I point my finger in the air to emphasise my point.

"That's not on you though," Ella remarks. She is right though. Nature has a way of being a jerk.

"I doubt they would agree," I counter. I'm only seeing red when it comes to my parents. They were the ones that put me in this situation in the first place.

"Have you talked to them about it?" Bobby asks. His head is in the right place but there is one problem.

"What am I gonna say? 'Hey I'm really sorry about your dead son but can we talk about me for a minute?'-,"

"Daniel wasn't their only son. You matter too," Ella says.

"Just...just not to them," I say. The only people that matter to me right now are those in this firehouse. The 118 is my family. The misery is only broken by Howie.

"I'm sorry I'm late, Cap. Hey, can we talk in private?" Howie asks. I know exactly what he is going to say.

"There's no need. I've told them the story," I responded. I am trying my best to control my anger but everything seems to be going wrong.

"Look I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Believe me, I wanted to-,"

"I get it. Maddie put you in a tough spot. She does that," I say as I leave. I need some time alone.

"You should call her back," I hear Howie say. I know I should but I don't know what to say. Everything I seem to say makes things worse. It has been a few hours since then and I am making sure everything is good to go. I need something to distract me from my personal life. A sigh falls from my mouth as I notice Maddie in the reflection of the paint. She is obviously remorseful but that doesn't stop me from being angry at her.

"I just wanted to make sure you were ok. You're not answering any of my calls," Maddie announces as I stop what I am doing.

"Please give me a chance to-,"

"Twenty-nine years. Why is it now suddenly an emergency?" I snap. I am going to regret this later.

"Because you won't talk to me and you are here working when you shouldn't be," That is the last straw. This job is one of two things that are keeping me going.

"No. You don't get to take that away from me as well," I say as I try to leave. I have to distance myself from Maddie before things get worse. As angry as I am, I don't want to ruin our relationship. She is the only member of my true family that I have left.

"I wasn't trying," Maddie tries to get me to stop. It works.

"We were supposed to be a team. Us vs them. That's what we've always said but it turns out that it was the three of you against me the whole time. Now you are not here for me. You're just here to make yourself feel better," I vent my frustration. It is at that moment I realise I have made the biggest mistake of my life. Before I have the chance to apologise the signal bell goes.

"Station 51, fifth alarm fire, industrial complex fire, 2351 east boulevard," The automatic voice announces. Well, I'm just going to have to hope that Maddie is still here when we get back so I can apologise. With that, I leave. After what feels like an eternity we have made it to the scene. Since it is a five-alarm fire it is an all-hands-on-deck situation. As soon as our boots hit the ground Bobby gets to work on getting us up to date.

"We are third on the scene. Captain Mehta from the 133 is the IC. It's his show. You guys know what to do. Gear up and stand by for a size up," Bobby gives his orders. After checking in with Captain Mehta Bobby comes back. The situation must be grave.

"It is a minefield in there so stay with your teams. If you need to split off, remember your hose line is your lifeline. If you get lost, find a wall. There are still twelve workers unaccounted for. Eddie and I will be joining the 133 searching on the Charlie side. Ella, Chim, Buck you will be running a team with two firefighters from the 141. Your entry side is from the alpha side," Bobby delivers his orders.

"Hey Buck," Howie says as he joins me.

"Not now, Chim," I know exactly what he is going to say but I have a job to do.

"I'm just letting you know you can't run away from this forever," Howie counters.

"Sure I can. It seems to be the Buckley family way," I counter as I take my helmet off. With a few swift movements, I have my breathing apparatus on. The thing is Howie is right. I am going to have to talk to Maddie about it with a level head but right now I have a job to do. It doesn't take long for us to break into the building. As soon as I open the door we are met by a roaring fire.

"Watch out," one of the others calls out as the fire flashes over. After a tense couple of seconds, the fire that was blocking the entranceway was extinguished.

"TO THE LEFT," Ella instructs as we enter. The fire is even worse than I thought. Even though we were warned it comes as a shock to how bad it really is. After thirty seconds of looking, I've come to the conclusion that everywhere to the left is blocked by hazardous materials.

"IC, this is Buckley, 118 I've got level four flames on the westside entry. It looks like ten pressurised drums," I radio my report. That means an explosion can and will happen at any time.

"Copy that, Buckley," Captain Mehta confirms. With that, we turn our attention to a safer route through the building. The heat is only growing.

"Alright, guys. let me know the level of involvement. The victims are towards That side of the building," Ella gestures towards the area as she yells over the roar of the fire.

"Copy that," I confirm. I split off from the group so I can give Ella the information she needs. Luckily for me, it doesn't take long to check the possible routes without straying too far from the others. With that out of the way, I rejoin the others.

"I wouldn't say it's all clear but it is clear enough for us to keep moving," I confirm. Howie quickly rejoins us as well.

"This way's no good," He gives Ella his report.

"Ok, let's keep going," Ella commands as she gestures towards the way that I came from. After a couple of seconds of walking, I notice a few towels stuffed in the gap between the door and the ground.

"Wait, everyone. Someone put towels under the door," I announce as I approach the door. I quickly ran over to the door. As I try to get the door open I notice that there is a relatively big group of people inside.

"There are people inside," I say as I get the door open. Thankfully it swings outwards otherwise the towels would have made it harder. Howie and a couple of the firefighters from the 141 get to work trying to help the victims.

"IC, Captain Nash here. Be advised that we have located seven victims but we've had some accelerants ignite up here. We have been separated from two of our team. I'm sending them back out," Bobby's voice announces via the radio. My mind reaches a conclusion before I have time to think. I need to go help Bobby. After all, I owe him a lot. Ella looks at me with a look of desperation.

"That's clear across the factory," She responds. I am going to have to ask for forgiveness later but right now I need to go if I am going to make it across.

"They lost two guys. We've got plenty here. I should go," I retort. There really is no point in me staying. Ella turns her attention fully towards me.

"You're not wrong Buck. I don't want to lose you again but if you must. Go," Ella says, giving in. The thing is she won't lose me. Not if I can help it. With her orders, I leave. As I leave I hear Howie shout something but I can't make out what he said. There is nothing that I can do. Another memory flashes through my mind as I make my way through the building to join Bobby's team. I quickly notice that the only way through the fire is up and over. As I climb the ladder an explosion ripples through the building.

"IC, be advised that the explosion took out most of the supports in here. Structural integrity is not good," the one report I didn't want to hear comes through the radio.

"All teams, all teams, be advised we are evacuating the structure. Repeat full evacuation is in effect," Captain Mehta announces. Dammit. We need more time to find the last person.

"IC, This is Buckley. One team found seven victims, the others found four. That means there is still someone in here," I counter. I am going to get my ass kicked for this but someone has to go looking for the last victim.

"We are aware but it is too unstable," Captain Mehta responds. He isn't happy about the situation. Again I find myself speaking without thinking.

"So we are going to leave someone behind?" I ask as I climb down from the bridge.

"I'm sorry. It's too dangerous to continue. You need to pull out now," Captain Mehta responds.

"Copy I'm on the move," I confirm. Well, I'm sorry but I am choosing to ignore those orders. Before you can ask I know I have my orders but I have a duty to rescue as many people as I can. Instead of heading out the way I came in I push in further.

"Evacuate the building now. That's an order," I choose to ignore it. I can afford to do this. After what feels like an eternity I have gotten myself to an area that could potentially have the last victim.

"LAFD! Is anyone here?" I yell out. As soon as the words leave my mouth my attention is drawn to the sound of metal hitting metal.

"Hey, hey, hey I can hear you," Comes a verbal response. With that, I move towards the sound.

"Keep making those sounds. I'm on my way," I say as I make my way over to him. It is tense but I find him quite quickly.

"Hey, are you hurt?" I get to work on making sure that the man is ok.

"No, just lost. Too much smoke," The man confirms before panicking.

"It's ok. I'm gonna get you out of here," I get to work on reassuring him. It is going to be risky but I am confident that we can make it.

"Can you breathe?" I ask just in case I need to give him my breathing apparatus.

"This mask is helping but the fire is not," The man responds.

"Then let's make it quick," I responded as I helped him up.

"Just stay low," I instruct. Unlike me, the man has no fresh oxygen. After a minute of walking, we made it back to the last clear area before I found the man however there is one problem. Standing between us and freedom is a large blaze. I am quick to guide the man towards the other way. Again the area is blocked. The man looks at me.

"I believe we are both lost now," The man remarks. He would be correct but unlike him, I'm going to find a way out. I begin the process of looking for an exterior wall. After thirty seconds of looking, I have found what I am looking for.

"There. I think I see an exterior wall," I announce.

"Let's hope it is equipped with a door," The man says. It should be but there is just one problem. Standing between us is a massive flame. Even with my turnout gear, it is going to result in injuries. As soon as the thought crosses my mind I look up to find exactly what I've been hoping for. A bridge over.

"What's your name?" I find myself asking. I guess I should know it just in case anything happens to us.

"Saleh," He responds.

"Saleh, I think we are going to have to walk across this gantry. You think you could make it?" I ask. It is a big risk but I do have someone waiting for me at the other end. It is at that moment that I realise that Ella is going to kill me if this fire doesn't.

"I would like nothing more than to make it," Saleh confirms.

"Same here. Let's do it," I say. It doesn't take long for us to make it up however we are going to have to be quick. I notice the flames lapping at a forklift's fuel tank. As soon as I notice it is too late. An explosion rips through the air. The next thing I know I am on the ground. Come around to a sharp pain in my head. That can only mean one thing. I must have hit my head on the way down. After a few seconds of fighting through the grogginess, I realise that Saleh needs help.

"Saleh!," I call out as I approach him.

"Thank you for attempting to save me. It appears this vat had a different plan," As soon as Saleh finishes speaking I follow his body to see that his right leg has been crushed by a storage vat. I quickly go looking for something to help me but I can't find anything. Not without leaving Saleh behind. He may be giving up but I am not. I muster all of my strength to lift it up but it refuses to budge.

"It is also very heavy," Saleh is not very confident. Well, I will have to try with my halagit. Unfortunately, I am just not strong enough.

"I am going to need you to try and stay calm for me. Ok? I am going to get this thing off you then I am going to get you out of here," I say.

"You need to hurry," Saleh says as his eyes go wide. A thought soon crosses my mind. I have a radio.

"IC this is Buckley, 118," I announced via the radio. I will cop it if it means I have a chance at rescuing Saleh.

"Buckley, did you ignore my direct orders to evaluate?" Captain Mehta asks. Hopefully, Bobby will step in for me. I will find out.

"I have the last victim but the sanitiser has ignited all around us. I wanna say I am by the northeast corner on the delta side wall but I am not sure. I could really do with some sprinkler action. Are they online yet?" I ask.

"Negative. We got you. Hang tight. We're gonna get you both out," Captain Mahta responds. With that, I can hear him give his orders. At least there is hope

"Rescue team is coming to you Buckley," Captain Mehta adds for good measure.

"Cope that. I'm not going anywhere," I confirm. As soon as I turn my attention back to Saleh another explosion rips through the building. That means the rescue team is going to be slowed or ordered back out. I lean over Saleh just in case it reaches where we are. Thankfully it doesn't.

"You ok?" I check on him.

"This is a relative term but I am alright," Saleh confirms. If it weren't for the situation that we are in I would have chuckled. It is at that moment an idea dawns on me. This building should have fire extinguishers. I stagger up to see if I can find one. The thing is it won't stop the spread but it will slow the spread. Which is exactly what we need if we have any chance of getting rescued.

"What are you looking for?" Saleh asks as he begins to panic.

"I was a fire marshal once. This is a factory. They're required to have fire extinguishers three feet off the ground. I think I've got one Sa-," It is at that moment I notice what I am looking for but before I can do anything I hear the one sound that I really didn't want to hear. Saleh is gasping for air. I quickly replaced his COVID mask with my breathing apparatus.

"Breathe. Just breathe," I instruct him.

"But how will you breathe?" he counters. He is right. If we don't get out of here I will be the one that succumbs to smoke inhalation.

"I'm gonna hold it," I half joke. The thing is I know that Ella and the rest of the 118 will try their best to save me. I just need to trust them.

"For how long?" He asks.

"For as long as I can," I responded. In fact, I can already feel the smoke attacking my airways. I need to get to the fire extinguisher. With that out of the way, I side over the fire using a metal beam. With a few swift movements, I grab the fire extinguisher.

"I've got it," I yelled over to Saleh to reassure him. It is a long shot but I have to do this if I want to get back to Ella. As soon as I get over the beam I use the fire extinguisher to fight the worst of the flames. It is at that moment I notice Saleh. He is not in good shape. He just needs to hang on.

"Saleh? Hey, come on. Come on, hey. Breathe. Breath," I say as I try everything to keep him alive. It is at that moment the sprinklers come on. Thank goodness. I got the miracle that I need. With one last push, I get up. I have to do this. I may not have lived the life that I wanted but I am not going to let Saleh miss out on the life that he wanted. With that, I get some cable. With a few swift movements, I have it tied securely around the top of the vat. With the help of an axe, I get the other end over a support beam. I let out a loud grunt as I pulled the rope tight.

After what feels like an eternity I am ready to give up when I feel the ropes loosen. I glance over my shoulder to find Ella and the rest of the 118 behind me. Thankfully with their help, we are able to free Saleh. I let out a loud sob as the emotions took hold. The next thing I know there is a hand on my shoulder. It's Ella. I may be broken but Ella and the rest of the 118 are my family. After what feels like another eternity I am sitting in the back of the ambulance with Bobby and Ella. I just want to wake up from this nightmare

"You ok?" Bobby checks on me.

"I got lost, Bobby," I find myself reaching for Ella's hand. Thankfully she takes it.

"I went off on my own and two seconds later I didn't know where the hell I was standing," I say. The thing is I am not talking about being in that building. Not really. My life changed. I feel Ella's grip tighten.

"Buck that place is a maze," Bobby gets to work on reassuring me.

"No one was surprised that you stayed in there, Buck. It's who you are," Ella adds.

"I almost gave up. If you guys hadn't come in, then-,"

"But we did and we always will," Ella says as she pulls a necklace with her engagement ring out from underneath her turnout gear. Ella pulls me into a hug. It was because of her that I am a better man. In fact, I owe a lot to the rest of the 118. After a few seconds in the hug, Ella pulls away. I watch as they take Saleh to the ambulance. At least Ella has gone back to holding my hand.

"They said it was a big one. They weren't kidding," Athena remarks as she joins us.

"Firefighter Buckley pulled out the very last victim," Bobby's proud dad side comes out.

"Then everyone else had to pull me out," I retort. I hate the fact that everyone seems to think I am a hero when in reality I'm just some broken man without any real purpose.

"Well, I'm sure whoever you just saved would be glad that you were being Buck," Athena responds. She is right. Even though I needed help I did my job. There is just one problem.

"I don't know what that means anymore," I say as I hang my head in shame.

"It means you never give up. That's what being Buck means to me," Ella speaks up.

"But whatever you do don't stop," Athena adds as she gives me a reassuring pat on the leg. It is the morning after the factory fire and I have been cleared for full duties. As soon as I step foot out of the rapid response vehicle I am greeted by Ella.

"He's been given a clean bill of health from the doctors," Bobby announces. With that Ella loosens. She must have been terrified. I will apologise later but I need to reach out to my parents before I do anything.

"Glad to hear it," Ella responds as Bobby leaves.

"Show-off," Ella teases.

"I had to do it," I respond.

"I know you did. You've got some visitors," Ella says as we enter the firehouse. I reluctantly head to the rec area with Ella in tow. I put it down to the fact that she knows I will need backup just in case things get heated. As soon as they notice me my dad takes his position behind my mum.

"Hi. I hope you weren't waiting long," I awkwardly greeted them. I still don't know the best way to talk about the issue at hand.

"Don't worry. The other firefighters were kind. We got to hear a lot of stories about you," My dad responds. The air between us goes stiff.

"They seem to like you a great deal. especially Ella," My mum adds. At least she approves of my found family.

"Yeah...I like them too," I say as my dad and I sit down. Ella has chosen to watch from a corner. In her defence, this is something I have to deal with on my own. My mum glances at my dad. She really is not happy about this.

"I don't even know where to start," My mum is on the verge of breaking down. Luckily for her, I know where to start.

"I'm sorry. About Daniel. I can't imagine what that must have felt like. Not being able to save someone you love," I apologise for my actions. Upon hearing my apology my mum breaks.

"Evan-,"

"Buck," I corrected him. It feels good to have some power.

"Buck...That is...that's what people who know me...that's what they call me," I explain. It is only fair that they call me by my nickname.

"Ok. Buck, you have to know, we never blamed you. None of this was your fault," My dad says. Only it feels like my fault. Even though there is nothing that I could have done I wish there was more.

"I still wish I could have done more," I retort. Maybe life would have been better but then again I may have never become a firefighter. Maybe I wouldn't have met Ella. Who knows? My mum leans over and wraps her hands around my hands.

"Buck...You were born to save someone and that's what you do every day. It may not look like it but we are so proud of you," My mum gets to work on reassuring me. It has been a couple of minutes since then and I am getting ready to go. It has been a long week.

"Did that go ok?" Howie asks as Ella and I approach the locker room.

"Yeah. Yeah, I think so," I reply. It will be a long road to forgiving them but it is worth trying.

"Is it going to be ok with Maddie?" Another valid question.

"Chim I can't-,"

"You're totally allowed to be mad at her but if you can find a way to forgive them you can find a way to forgive her," Howie cuts me off. The truth is I've already forgiven her none of this was her fault but she should have chosen to tell me sooner.

"She should have told me," I counter.

"She didn't want you to think you weren't wanted. That you weren't loved," Howie explains. Nothing's getting through to him. If Maddie told me sooner none of this would have happened. I turn to face Howie.

"You know what? I wasn't-,"

"Yes, you were. By her," Howie cuts me off again.

"Chim, she sent me away. I needed her and she wasn't there. She just handed me keys to a car and sent me on my way so that I didn't mess up her life," I snapped. Deep down I know Maddie sent me away to protect me but the fact that she kept the secret for so long is what's bothering me.

"The Jeep? That's what you're thinking about?" Howie questions me. To be honest I wish he would shut up but I just don't have the energy to deal with it. I just want to curl up on the couch with Ella and forget the past two days.

"Of course, you know about that," A slight chuckle fell from my mouth. Everyone else had to know before I did. Howie's look softens

"It's stupid that I know more than you but Maddie was trying to protect you," Howie says as he leaves. Honestly, he is right. She was also trying to protect herself from the monster named Doug. Sadly there is nothing that I can do. The past is called the past for a reason.