AEIRYN

I felt like I was betrayed by the whole world with what happened. I felt so miserable and unworthy. I never thought there would come a time where I would beg to someone not to leave me. I was trained to be strong and all, pero kapag pala talaga puso mo na ang nalumpo at nasaktan, wala na lahat ng alam mo.

I took a sip with the tequila I was holding. I was at the bar, trying to forget how miserable I was.

"Tama na siguro iyan, Alez. Please," said Gyor. He was my company and after he heard what happened to me, hindi na siya umalis sa tabi ko. I didn't ask for his presence, he initiated.

"Shut the fuck up, Gyor," I said with annoyance. "Just let me drink. I need to sleep through this."

"You can tell me what happened, Alez. You can tell what's hurting you. You can tell me everything and I will listen to you with no judgement. I am always here for you. I've been always here for you," he said with full of sincerity.

I looked into his eyes and I could see a trace of tears wanting fall in those eyes. He could feel the pain I was feeling and I could not help myself but feel guilty.

"No matter how much you say those words, Gyor, hindi magbabago ang nararamdan ko. Alam mong kapatid lang ang turing ko sa 'yo kahit noon pa. Hindi mababago ang nararamdaman ko kahit ano pang kabutihan ang ipakita mo sa akin. I will never love you, Gyor."

He smiled bitterly before he spoke. "I never asked anything from you, Alez. Mali bang hatian kita sa sakit na nararamdaman mo? I just hate seeing you this miserable dahil pakiramdam ko ay ako ang nadudurog sa pagkadurog mo. I love you so much that seeing you in this fucking pain pains me more than you could imagine. I couldn't bear the pain of wanting to love and treasure you pero ito ang iba . . . pinili kang ibasura."

Bawat salita ni Gyor ay parang lalo pang mas nagpapabigat ng nararamdaman ko.

"You don't deserve this kind of treatment, Alez. Hindi mo kailangang magmakaawa na piliin ka lalo na kung may mga tao naman na handang piliin ka sa araw-araw."

Nagsunod-sunod ang paglagok ko sa alak na hawak ko dahil sa mga salitang naririnig ko mula sa kaniya.

Matapos kong maubos ang basong iyon ay tumayo ako at hinarap si Gyor. "Please, do not follow me. Kaya ko ang sarili ko," I said firmly as I stormed out of his sight.

Sumakay ako ng sasakyan ko at hindi ko alam kung saan ako dadalhin ng pagmamaneho ko. Gustong-gusto kong lumayo at takasan kung ano man ang sitwasyon na ito.

I was about to take a detour papunta sa dagat when I suddenly saw a familiar car chasing me. I stopped and the other car stopped too.

I stoop out of my car and I saw the driver with his passenger stoop out too. "What are you two doing here?" I asked and I only saw their blank faces.

"Let Aeidan drive your car. Uuwi na tayo," said kuya Aeignn in authority. Silang dalawa ni Aeidan ang sakay ng sasakyan.

"Can't you two just leave me fucking alone?" I said out of frustration. "Ano ba sa salitang gusto kong mapag-isa ang hindi n'yo maintindihan?!"

Kapwa sila lumapit sa akin and I saw frustration on Aeidan's eyes. "Can't you tell that he only played with you? Hirap na hirap ka bang tanggapin na pinaglaruan ka lang ng taong handa mong pag-alayan ng lahat-lahat? Damn it, Aeiryn! Just knowing that you begged, gusto kong patayin ang lalaking 'yon!" said Aeidan.

Bumaling ako kay kuya Aeignn at binigyan ko siya ng nang-uuyam na tinign. "Y–you told him?"

"Why would I not?"

"And why would you?! How dare you! Hinayaan ko na lang na may access kayo sa cctv ng bahay na iyon dahil alam kong gusto n'yo lang malaman kung nasa maayos ba ako, pero this? You even told Aeidan that I begged—"

"Did you not? You did, Aeiryn. You did like a fucking whore wanting to get chosen," kuya Aeignn said cutting me off at hindi ko napigilan ang kamay ko sa pag-angat at dumapo iyon sa mukha niya.

He smiled at me. A smile that was full of hatred and sarcasm.

"You have no idea how painful this fucking situation is, Kuya. Alam kong sinabi ko na kapag nasaktan ako sa huli sa sitwasyon kong ito ay wala akong ibang sisisihin kundi ang sarili ko dahil ginusto ko ito, but this is just too painful that I want to die," I said helplessly. Wala akong ibang nagawa kung hindi ang mapaupo sa daan at mapayakap sa mga tuhod ko. "This is just too fucking painful," I continued whispering.

"Did you not realize why he courted you? He just wanted to feed his ego, Aeiryn, and you were a one good ingredient for him. Kung una pa lang totoo ang intensyon niya sa 'yo, he would've met Mom and Dad pero hindi niya ginawa, because he was a fucking coward," said Aeidan.

I raised my head only to see kuya Aeignn giving me an envelope. I took it then I opened it. It was a picture of Tyron, Yula, and Tamara while they were at the hospital. They looked like a really happy family. I browsed the other photos and I was only able to smile in pain of what I saw. It was Yula and Tyron kissing.

"He was never serious to you, and you have to accept that or else you'll really die in misery."

***

Just thinking how I survived those painful times made me want to smile. Those were my innocent days; those days were I thought that love were all just rainbows and butterflies.

And now what? He told Ryl that he wanted me back? Damn.

MEETING with him must not be a good idea but I had to see him. Pakiramdam ko ay mas malalaman ko ang gusto kong gawin kapag kaharap ko siya.

I was at the rooftop of a fine dining restaurant and I was waiting for him. I went here an hour early dahil gusto ko lang mahanginan.

Nitong mga nakaraan na magulo ang utak ko, may mga taong nakabantay sa kaniya  at kinukuha ko naman ang mga report nila bago matapos ang araw para malaman ko kung mayroon bang mga pagbabago o kahina-hinalang mga tao.

"Lez," said a voice and as I turned around I saw him smiling. Nang makalapit siya ay bigla na lamang niya akong hinatak at niyakap nang mahigpit. "I missed you, babe."

"Ryl," I called him, I didn't hug him back.

He pulled off and gave me a questioning look. "Is there something wrong? You didn't answer my calls and messages for two day—"

"I could not answer that question dahil hindi ko rin alam kung anong nangyayari sa buhay ko ngayon."

"Why? Is it because of my brother?" Hindi ko mabasa kung ano ba ang nararamdaman niya sa mga oras na 'to. Even my judgements were clouded by my thoughts.

"Ryl, it is no longer about Tyron."

"Then what is?"

"I have fallen for you completely," I confessed nd I saw how his eyes widened.

"W–what?"

I already knew that I had fallen for him completely when I was always considering how he would feel with my every decisions and actions.

Nahulog na naman ako nang tuluyan . . . ang masakit lang, sa kapatid pa ng unang taong nagwasak sa akin. My life must be a fucking joke to begin with.

"But I have no intention of pursuing this feeling, Ryl." His shocked face suddenly turn into a confused one.

He held my hands in confusion. "W–what were you saying, Lez?"

I smiled at him as I pulled my hands away from his. "I could no longer bear another heartache, Ryl. Not from you, not from anyone else—"

I wasn't able to finish what I was saying because I suddenly saw a sniper in one of the buildings around where we were. I quickly grabbed his hand as a led him to dodge.

"Follow me!"

Ryl was in complete confusion before he heard continuous gunshots.

I took him to the nearest storage room in the rooftop. Luckily it wasn't locked.

"Stay here, Ryl—" I stopped. His expression were too dark.

"I feel like a shit knowing that you always have to protect me in this kind of situation instead of me doing this for you," he said and I knew he was just guilty.

"I told you, you do not need to worry about me. Wait for me here."

I stoop out of the storage room and I quickly grabbed my gun from my back. I looked at the building and the sniper was no longer there.

I quickly activated my earpiece and mouthpiece to be connected in Phyrric. "Callia, can you hear me?"

"What's going on?"

"We were showered with bullets with my current location. The sniper was at the opposite hotel building of where we are, hindi pa iyon nakalalayo."

"Got it. Do I have to provide you a backup?"

"I left Ryl at the storage room of the rooftop. Quickly provide an agent to accompany him. I will be searching for the sniper."

"Copy."

"I will put the new lock that kuya Ayce had invented on the door of storage room, tell the agent who will rescue Ryl to bring the decoder. I am leaving now."

Nilapitan ko ang pintuan ng storage room at inilapat doon ang isang maliit na aparato at kusa nang nag-lock ang pinto at hindi ko na iyon mabuksan kahit na ano pang hila ko.

"Who's there?" I heard Ryl asked.

"Someone will be coming for you, Ryl. Wait for that person, I will be leaving now."

"What are you saying, Lez?" I didn't answer him. "Lez! Aeiryn Lez! Aeiryn Lez Ricafort!"

I stormed out of the rooftop and quickly went to the other building.

I did not ride the elevator. I took the stairs and sa palagay ko ay nasa 12th floor na ako nang makarinig ako ng mga boses na nag-uusap.

"We have leave now, Ma'am. Kung hindi tayo aalis ay mahuhuli tayo ng mga nagbabantay kay Mr. Lawson," said a manly voice and I was not even surprised to hear that voice. I never trusted anyone around Ryl.

Sumilip ako at napangisi ako dahil nakita ko siya na hawak pa ang sniper gun. Halatang bobo ang isang ito at hindi alam kung paano bang dapat magtrabaho ang killer na gaya niya.

Ito ay ang tauhan ni Ryl na utal-utal makipag-usap sa kaniya—yes, iyong taong kumakausap kay Ryl about sa mga pabinhi niya at wala nang iba.

"ANG BOBO! TONTA! PAPATAYIN MO NA LANG HINDI MO PA NAGAWA!"

"Mas alerto po ang nagbabantay sa kaniya, Ma'am."

"BOBO KA LANG TALAGA!"

It was the Gremlin, the witch . . . it was Ryl's mother, Avah Lawson.

—
M A Y O R A
I C E _ F R E E Z E

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