Sarah was once the girl with the unpronounceable surname and the addiction to knee-high socks, and she was once unfortunate enough to attend high school with Brendon Urie, whom she caught making out with her boyfriend at the back of French class one time. She'd be on her deathbed and still not understand how or why she ever dated him, but to date she was his first and only girlfriend, and she was secretly proud of that.

Back in high school, her sophomore year especially, she had her long hair in weird plaits and wore stupid tartan skirts and tried so hard to look like that cool senior named Lindsey that everyone loved, but then Lindsey noticed and they got into a fight and she realised that Lindsey was just a shallow bitch so she ditched the look completely. She became an odd goth/grunge girl, got herself a cute boyfriend, and watched her relationship fall apart around her.

It wasn't even as if she'd ever had a crush on Brendon Urie; he was just some vaguely attractive kid in her year that made out with people way too often and spent most of his time on the lap of some artsy kid, smoking what was most likely weed. But one day he'd said 'let's date', and she'd shrugged and said 'okay', because what else was there to do?

And now, walking down the hospital corridors with an arm around his shoulders as he sobbed, she found herself reliving those moments. Their first kiss, in a tree behind his house. Their first time having sex (by then, they were most definitely not virgins), in the basement of her house, directly below where her overprotective, asshole father sat watching hockey. All of the weird and crazy shit they did, the shoplifting, the alcohol, the drugs, oh the first time they smoked weed together they broke into someone's garden and passed out in the bushes, half-naked and not a care in the world.

Sarah often wished she could go back to those moments. Back to when she was sixteen, back to when she was seventeen. Back to before Spencer, before Dallon, before Ryan. Back to before she caught Brendon with Spencer at the movies and didn't realise that Brendon might actually not be straight at all. Back to when things made sense.

Because Brendon wasn't making sense now; he was sobbing as they sat down on a bench not too far from the hospital, mumbling something unintelligible about Dallon and Spencer and everybody dying. She hoped that that wasn't the case.

"Well if everyone's dying, Bren, then maybe you should breathe and, like, not die?" She said, and he hiccuped before looking up at her, tears clinging to his eyelashes.

"Why are you here?" He choked out, and she closed her eyes, asking herself the same question.

"Ryan called. He figured you were still mad about what happened, though I've no idea what happened, and...yeah."

He sniffed, shaking his head. "Everything's gone to shit. I don't even know what to do anymore."

There was once a time when Sarah thought that Brendon was fearless. He did all this stupid shit and she never questioned anything, because it made him smile. He was never scared. He once took these stupid little pills just before a math exam. He once had sex with her on a teacher's desk. He once spray-painted dicks all over some guy's house after he'd leered at her. She didn't care. She thought that she was just as messed up as he was. But that was never the case.

"Ryan and I were supposed to leave town." He said, his hands shaking, his voice dull. "We were gonna like run away together. It was gonna be fun." He looked down at his hands, biting his lower lip. "I don't think I wanna do that now."

"You're stubborn and selfish, you know that, right?"

"For a start, you can stop fucking crying." She snapped, and he scowled at her, attempting to wipe away his tears. "And second, you should really evaluate your life choices."

"Don't tell me that what I'm doing is stupid."

"My life choices? If I recall, you made pretty shit ones of your own."

"But we're not talking about me, Brendon. We're talking about you."

"I've done nothing wrong!"

"Why do I find that hard to believe? Y'know, that plan was a dick move, especially for Spencer, but -"

"You knew?!"

"Of course I fucking knew."

He looked horrified, betrayed, crushed, all at once. "Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you tell me?"

She scoffed. "The last time we saw each other was almost seven years ago, remember? Remember what happened? Remember what you did?" She clenched her hands into fists in her lap. "Look me in the eye and tell me you'd have done the same, in my position."

He clenched his jaw, looking her directly in the eye. "I would've told you."

"No you fucking wouldn't. Of course you wouldn't. You're one of the best liars I know."

"You're a bitch." He turned away, folding his arms. "So - so everyone I know was turned against me? Even Gee? Even one of my best friends?"

"You really must be desperate if you think that someone like Gee is your best friend."

"They are my best friend, fuck off!" He shook his head. "God, I - I trusted Ryan! I trusted him and he just -"

"He wouldn't have done this if it weren't for Spencer."

"Maybe he'd have done something by himself to hurt me, in time."

"Would you look at yourself! You're pathetic! Stop being so self-centred for once and think! You're the one that broke all these hearts, don't you think you deserve some of this?!"

"No."

"Fucking Karma, Brendon. I told you. Remember the last time I saw you? I knew Karma would come and bite you on the ass, and guess what? It did."

He got to his feet, throwing his hands in the air in frustration. "I didn't realise you were so damn bitter! I'm sorry for what happened okay, but I should never have dated you! I should never have dated anyone!"

She shook her head in disgust, getting to her feet. "I don't even know why I ever bothered with you, Brendon." She turned to leave, and then stopped, turning back. "Oh, and you got me pregnant. I just thought you should know that."

~

Sarah Orzechowski was once a scared teenage girl on the cusp of becoming an adult, especially after discovering that there was a human life growing inside her, and once she realised how truly alone she was, she started hiding from the world.

There was no way she could tell her father about it; he'd disapproved of Brendon at the best of times, and he'd no doubt kill the guy with his bare hands if he ever found out about the baby. And her mother wasn't around, she'd fucked off with the high school's hockey coach three years ago, leaving her with her father. And there was no question of getting an abortion. None at all.

So she was alone.

But then again, she was used to it.

"You need to talk to him." She said, approaching Ryan with a scowl on her face and tears in her eyes.

"What?" He frowned, turning away from the window.

"I'm done with him. You need to talk to him and you need to apologise and you need to slap him and tell him to stop being such a selfish pussy bitch because it's doing my head in and it's pathetic." She exhaled heavily through her nose as if to state her point. "Go on then!"

Shooting her a confused look, Ryan hurried off towards the hospital's entrance, in search of Brendon. Sarah pivoted on her heels and found herself facing another window, only she couldn't see rain through this one, she could see Spencer, hooked up to a few machines. Not as many as she'd seen before, but enough.

She thought about her child, and where he was now. She'd given him up for adoption as soon as she'd gotten out of the hospital after giving birth. He didn't even have a name. Giving him a name would mean attachment, and she was in no fit state to raise a child. She was in no fit state to raise herself. She was eighteen, had been unable to finish her education, and it had been nearly a year since she'd caught Brendon cheating on her.

Brendon had ruined her life. It was only fair that his was ruined in return.

A doctor approached her as she pressed her hand against the window, torn between hating Spencer and thinking that maybe he didn't deserve this. But they all deserved this. Even Ryan.

"Are you family of Mr Smith?" The doctor said, holding a clipboard in her small, pale hands. Sarah looked her up and down, taking her hand from the window and nodding.

"Yeah. His sister." She ran a hand through her hair. "How is he?"

"I'm afraid I have bad news. He's going to be unconscious for a few more days, and that could result in a coma. The good news is that it might not come to that. The bad news is that there's no telling what state he'll be in when he wakes." Sarah licked her lips, processing it all. "Do you need a moment?" She nodded, and the doctor left.

But when she rounded the corner, Sarah smiled. Every cloud and all that.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Planned out the last 6/7 chapters h o l l a a a a a a a a

Salsa Nips out xo