And then it was like a switch had been turned on, and Brendon was pushing Ryan back on the couch, tongues in each other's mouths and hands on each other's bodies. Ryan's legs were bent either side of the younger, his hands fisted into his shirt. He let out a moan, and Brendon slowly pulled away, looking down at him with those eyes of his.

Okay, so maybe he had a bit of a metaphorical (and literal, if you were paying attention) hard-on for Brendon Urie...that was nothing to be ashamed of, right?

Brendon took Ryan's lower lip between his teeth and pulled gently, before attaching his mouth to Ryan's neck and kissing and biting his way down. He pushed the eider's shirt up with his skilled pornstar's fingers, his tongue flicking over Ryan Ross' right nipple before going lower, down to the waistband of his jeans and his fucking hipbones.

Ryan knew where this was going, and he couldn't stop it even if he wanted to. And he shamefully wanted it to continue, he wanted his cock in Brendon's mouth, and even if Brendon was just messing with him, he didn't care, because he was so gone, so fucking wrecked, just having him rub up against him as they made out was almost enough to make him come in his stupidly tight jeans.

He closed his eyes as his jeans made it down to his knees, and then his ankles, and lastly, the floor. Quickly followed by his underwear and socks.

"Look at me." Brendon said softly, his fingers kneading the flesh of Ryan's thighs, and Ryan suddenly felt so awkward, because he'd been naked for shoots before, but never for a person, not really, not sober at least. "Look at what I'm doing to you."

He groaned, propping his head up on a cushion and reluctantly opening his eyes. Just as Brendon slowly sunk his mouth down onto him.

This wasn't for a camera, this wasn't for show, which left Ryan to wonder why the fuck this was happening, but at this present moment, as the man in question dug his fingernails into Ryan's thighs, he didn't really care. It just felt so good, too good, and this was a one-time thing for sure, it had to be, and with that thought in mind Ryan reopened his eyes and stared down at Brendon Urie, pornstar extraordinaire, as he brought a hand up to curl around the base.

His elbows couldn't hold him up anymore, especially when Brendon pulled back and blew on the tip, his tongue (oh, his tongue) poking out and running over it. An obscene moan came from the younger's throat, and Ryan cursed, his hand reaching down and tangling in Brendon's hair.

He really should've known, should've at least guessed, that Brendon would be a tease. He always was, even when fucking himself with some stupid toy on camera, he was a tease. So when he pulled off of Ryan and began to bite at the elder's hips, Ryan wanted to slap him. Brendon's hand curled around him, moving agonisingly slow, slick with saliva and flushed dark against his skin.

"Oh God - Bren -" Ryan sank his teeth into his lower lip, his hips bucking up against Brendon, who smirked against his stomach.

"C'mon, Ryan Ross." His voice was low, quiet, and he said the model's name in such a way that it made his breathing hitch and his heart stutter. "Moan like the slut you want to be."

"I don't wanna -" Brendon went down on him once more, the action getting a loud moan in response, and he could feel Brendon smile, feel him hum in approval.

And then he was gone, he was coming hard into a pornstar's mouth and he could see stars. He was pretty sure there was so much it would spill from Brendon's mouth, but he didn't care. He came down from his high, brushing his hair back from his face, just in time to see Brendon wipe his mouth and lean down, kissing him quickly before throwing him a wink and leaving the apartment.

~

He couldn't sleep, which was probably why he ended up calling Pete at two am. He couldn't stop thinking about what had happened, about Brendon Urie's whore mouth, and he kept trying to figure out what the fuck had happened and why the fuck it had happened.

"Ryan..." Pete said, not sounding like he'd been sleeping at all.

"Brendon Urie sucked me off." Ryan blurted, and the reply was almost instant.

"You what?!" There was a sigh, a muffled "One sec" and then a few seconds later he could hear a door closing. "What the fuck did you just say?"

"I...a few hours ago I got a blowjob from Brendon Urie."

"How did that happen?!"

Ryan hesitated. "I'm not sure."

"Well that's just - you what?"

"I - well - I was at a bar and his ex was there and his ex punched him in the face so I brought him back here and then he was kissing me and then he was..y'know."

There was a long pause from Pete's end, and then he sighed. "What happened afterwards?"

"Um..." Ryan licked his lips. He could still taste Brendon, still taste himself. "He kissed me and left."

Pete snorted. "Sounds about right."

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing. It's just...don't you think that's a little slutty?"

"Well yes - but -" he rubbed his eye with his free hand, groaning a little. "Why would he do that, Pete?"

"Probably because he's a narcissistic whore who loves having a cock in his mouth at any opportunity." He sighed. "Listen, Ry; try not to think about it too much. Chances are it didn't mean a thing."

And then he hung up, leaving Ryan more confused and emotionally traumatised than ever.

~

"Brendon?"

Brendon opened one eye to see Dallon looking up at him, biting his lower lip. "What?"

Sometimes Brendon treated him like shit, and sometimes he didn't care, because he was happy that someone like Brendon Urie was willing to have sex with him. Sometimes he did mind though, and this was one of those times.

"There's, um, something I want to tell you." He shuffled up on the bed, edging closer to Brendon as he did so, until they were face-to-face. They were both naked, sweaty from their latest fuck, and Brendon couldn't care less that he'd blown Ryan Ross and then gone home to Dallon Weekes. After all, he wouldn't be touching Ryan Ross again after that.

Oh, the lies he told himself.

"What?"

Dallon didn't want to tell him. He knew that he'd screw everything up if he told him, and Brendon was the closest thing he had to a best friend. Their relationship was a little unorthodox, sure, but Dallon liked it, he didn't mind at all. There were aspects of it he could do without, such as the fact that Brendon had cheated on his boyfriend, or the fact that Brendon really didn't give a shit about him, and the fact that he was being viewed as the slut that ruined a perfectly good relationship (although he knew that the whole Brendon-and-Spencer thing wasn't exactly 100% okay), but...he didn't mind. Not really.

And after nearly six months, he'd kind of gotten used to it.

"I - I -" he sighed, rolling onto his back, and Brendon pulled him closer, running his thumb over Dallon's lower lip. "It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does. Talk to me, Dal."

And that was when Brendon appeared to care, that was when he believed that the pornstar actually cared, and every time he fell for it, fell for him, much like Spencer, only to be reminded not even ten minutes later that he didn't care, wasn't capable of caring.

Dallon groaned, burying his face in Brendon's shoulder, relishing how warm he was. "I can't."

"You can. You can tell me anything, you know that." Brendon ran his fingers through the younger's hair, tugging gently on the strands and making him look up. "I won't get mad, I promise."

"You will, though." Dallon's voice was muffled by Brendon's skin, and he could feel his face heat up as he got closer and closer to the truth.

"No, I won't. I'll stay and I'll listen, you know I will."

"Don't, B." He raised his head, and he actually had tears in his eyes, which he fucking hated. "You'll get mad and then you'll yell at me and call me stupid and then you'll leave and tomorrow you'll come back full of kisses and stinking of booze and sex. It's three a.m, I don't even know why I both-"

Brendon shut him up with a kiss, frowning. "Just tell me, Dallon. This is obviously important to you."

The younger blushed even harder, before closing his eyes. "I love you."

Brendon was stunned. Call him oblivious, but he wasn't expecting that. Anything but that. Hell, he'd have expected Dallon being pregnant over this.

And he could lie, he could lie far too well and far too easily, but this time he didn't think he wanted to. He knew that, with something like this, Dallon would see right through it, and he'd be even more heartbroken than if he was just straight with him.

But Brendon's head was so fucked, and he needed to get high, because getting high seemed to solve all his problems, and getting high with Dallon Weekes solved them all even quicker.

He pulled back slowly, licking his lips, and he tasted Ryan, tasted everything that was driving him crazy, and he leaned over to the nightstand, taking a half-smoked joint from the ashtray. It was three in the morning, but he didn't care, and it wasn't like he had much of a job to go to at nine in the morning (though in ten minutes it would feel like nine in the afternoon, and Brendon preferred that so much more).

"Dallon, I..." He lit the joint and took a drag, sighing as he expelled the smoke. "I don't -"

"I know." Dallon almost snatched the joint once it was offered to him, taking a puff of his own. "I know you don't do love, or feelings." He leaned against Brendon, and the elder threw his arm around his shoulders. "And I can live with that."

It was a lie, both of them knew that, but both of them were willing to accept that, because the truth was too much for them to deal with.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sup guise, I reckon my first gander into Ryden smut went rather well actually, all things considered :)

TMIABM HIT 500K READS I AM LITERALLY DEAD HOLY FUCKING TITS HOW DID THAT HAPPEN IM SCREAMING

The Ryden smut is a thank you present;)

Also, and I know I've been banging on about it, but if you haven't already could you please check out my other Ryden, With Love, Ryan? It would mean a lot to me and yeah :3

Thanks Pete,

-xøcharr <3