The letter went on to say, "—we are delighted to inform you that your entry, 'Things to Get in Town (the Next Time I Go There)' has won honorable mention! Our judges appreciated its minimalism, its prosaic banality, its subversive commentary on post-modern materialism, its irony.

"First through third place will be awarded $500, $100, and $50, respectively. Honorable mentions will be published in our winter issue, and will receive a free contributor's copy. Again, congratulations!"

Oh. Well. Hmm.

The cat was . . .

The cat was . . .

. . . undergoing an origin story?