I wake up the next morning with a pounding headache from the longevity of my crying last night. My eyes feel so heavy and burn when I try to open them. I groan as I get out of bed with my eyes closed trying to navigate my weak body around the house blindly. I reach the kitchen unknowingly until I hear my mother speak. A bolt of shock rushed through my body as she startles me with her words. "Hey Christopher how did you sleep?" I open my eyes to see where her voice had come from. She was sitting at the dinner table, coffee in one hand and newspaper in the other. I begin to speak, my voice is hoarse from all the screaming I was doing, both at the concert and at home. "I slept like I got hit by a train." There's a moment of silence before I add "don't you have work today?" she looks at me with puzzled eyes "no its Sunday. I don't have work on Sunday's. And plus I wanted to make sure you were okay."

 I was starting to get a bit worried about you, you slept for 18 hours. Its almost 3 pm and you fell asleep at around 9:30." My eyes open wide with shock, but as they open I feel the burning once more. I walk over to the coffee pot slowly, every step i take feels as though I was walking on shards of glass. I feel my legs begin to cave from under me and I collapse to the ground. My mom rushes to my assistance and helps me up onto the chair, fear flooding her body. "Are you okay? You shouldn't even be walking. Your body is not used to it yet, your body needs to wake up first. Its been asleep for 18 hours. Here, let me get you the coffee." She pours me a cup and sets it down in front of me. I manage to lift the cup and take a small sip. As we sit in silence thoughts of the kiss invades my mind like a tsunami and tears form in my eyes, blurring my vision. My lips crave his but I can't help but feel a sense of guilt.

Like I had lied to myself for so many years. Why did I like the kiss? Am I bi? I like girls but it seems  I like guys too. What's wrong with me? I feel like I'm losing my mind! What does all this mean? Should I go on a date with him? "Mom, whats wrong with me?" I say bursting into tears. She looks at me with question before finally realizing what I was talking about. "Nothing sweetheart. Nothings wrong with you. I love you for who you are, you don't have to be afraid of loving a man. Don't beat yourself up for this." "Then why do I feel such guilt for this? I feel like my whole life is a lie. All my life I thought I liked girls and when I looked at a guy and thought he was cute I thought it was only that I admired his body or clothes, I never even thought I was attracted to them! What do I do?" "Go on a date with him and figure out your true feelings." she suggests. I look at her with confusion but nod my head in agreement.  

I get up weakly and walk to my room to grab my phone, my body still aching from the fall. I walk out of the bedroom moments later, not checking it until I get into the kitchen. I feel anxiety flood my chest as I turn it on, finding a text from Terrance awaiting me. The text reads "I had a lot of fun last night. I can't stop thinking about our kiss and how it made me feel. I... would love to take you on a date and try this again. If you happen to not like the date we can pretend this never even happened. If you accept, meet me at Ravenwood Park at 6 and we can go from there, I will bring some food." I look at my mom and reply with a "I guess I don't have to ask him on a date because he asked me." She looks at me surprised yet excited before saying joyfully "go for it! This is your chance! This is what you've been waiting for! Now go get ready." 

"The date doesn't start until six though." I remark. "well then lets devise a plan of what your going to wear and what you would say if things get awkward or if you get nervous." I'm excited but also scared. What if everything goes horribly wrong? What if I mess this up? What will happen to our friendship? She see's the wave of anxiety rushing through my veins as I begin to hyperventilate so she begins to comfort me, assuring me all will go well. My thoughts come to a halt at last but one question still remains. A question for my mom. "Why do you still love me? Usually parents don't accept their children when they come out so why do you accept me?" she looks at me with shock before answering "because you're my son and love is love. God gave me a miracle. He gave me you. I'm not going to abuse that gift. Instead, I choose to love you unconditionally.

I smile as tears of joy fill my eyes and hug her. The embrace my mother and I had was so comforting, nurturing, caring. It was a hug of purpose, hope, and unconditional love. We talk a little more about the plans for the date before I go and get ready. I take a shower, conditioning my messy, tangled blonde hair and scrubbing my body until I'm squeaky clean while also to pass the time. When I hop out of the shower I check the time on my phone which reads 5:30. I have about 20 minutes to get ready before I have to leave. I quickly choose out my outfit that consists of a plain grey shirt, light blue jeans, maroon colored hoodie, white slip on shoes and and grey beanie. Before heading out the door I warn my mom that I am about to leave. She looks at me head to toe before saying "you will be alright kiddo. No need to be nervous. Also you look great!" 

I smile and give her one last hug before I leave. I arrive at the park and find Terrance waiting for me on the nearest park bench. As I walk closer to him, my heart beats louder in my ears and I begin to shake violently with fear. His eyes light up and he fails to hold back a smile. "I'm glad you came. I was worried you wouldn't show up." His soothing voice calms me as I find the strength and courage to say "I was actually going to ask you on a date but you did it for me instead." His face shows genuine happiness as those words roll off my tongue. I love the outfit he chose for this date. He is wearing a grey beanie with a short sleeved white shirt, a black leather jacket and light blue ripped jeans. The way he put it together made him look really adorable. I was transfixed by his beauty. I snapped myself out of the stare and took a seat next to him. Underneath the park bench was a basket. 

Within it there was some fruit such as strawberries, blueberries and grapes along with a bomb ass Grilled Chicken Sandwich. Inside the sandwich was bacon, lettuce, tomato and Grilled Chicken which was very appetizing considering I hadn't eaten all day. As we munched on our food we were chatting up a storm from funny childhood memories to what we wanted to be in the future. We watched the sun go down and eventually went on a walk around the park, moving onto heavier topics such as insecurities, worries and fears and the date ended with us on the grass, looking up at the stars. Towards the end of our stargazing, I looked deep into his eyes and kissed him sweetly yet passionately. It felt magical. It felt like in the movies at the end of a romantic comedy when fireworks explode in the air. With that, our date had come to and end and we parted ways.

It is about 8:30 when I arrive home and as I enter the door I see my mom with a smile on her face, excited to hear how it went. I tell her everything from start to finish and she is so supportive of it all. As we wrap up our conversation, she hugs me with a smile so grand and we part ways to bed. As I get into my room, I sit on my unmade bed and begin to talk to Terrance. We chat for a little while over the phone before he has to head to bed and now I am left alone with my thoughts. I begin going over the date in my head but switch to my mother. I love her so much. She's so supportive of me and is always there for me when I need her the most. As cliche as it sounds, she's like a friend to me. Someone who I can share my deepest feelings with. She's the best mother anyone could ever ask for. She is my hero. She plays the roll of mom and dad in the family. And with that thought I drift off to sleep.