It's 3pm and the concert doesn't start until 7. We have to leave by 5:30 in order to make it there on time because its about an hour away plus traffic and we want to be able to settle in. I read a couple of chapters in "The Unplanned Miracle" and in the chapter I leave off, Abigail and James get in a really big fight over what they want to name their baby girl. Abigail wants to call her Nicole but James wants to call her Genevieve. I'm on James' side on this one. I looked up the definition behind that name and it means "miracle" in Greek, then it clicked within my mind. The author titled it "The Unplanned Miracle" because their babies name would mean Miracle. The name Nicole on the other hand means "victory of people." I'm still with James on this one though because not only does it mean miracle in Greek but its just a beautiful name all in all. 

On that note I close the book and get ready for the concert. I slip on a short sleeved black shirt with a plaid, unbuttoned red flannel, dark skinny jeans, and a pair of black high tops. I talked to my mom earlier and she said she has another long day ahead of her at the doctors office. Ever since dad left she always seemed to be so busy with work and I never get to spend much time with her. The thought brings me sadness and anger so I push the thought out of my mind and head to Terrance's house to pick him up for the concert. I get out of the now parked car and ring the doorbell as a sign that I have arrived. A tall man with a nice black suit greets me at the door with a friendly smile. It's Terrance's dad, Robert. He's a really sweet and gentle guy and his green eyes are so warm and inviting. He says in a very delightful, soft voice "come on in, Terrance will be down in a minute" "Thank you sir" I say to him.

I've only been to Terrance's house once or twice so I still feel awkward and uncomfortable invading his home. Not long after, Terrance walks down the stairs. His face beamed with a mixture of admiration and joy and after a moment he says to me "well don't you look dapper on this fine evening" I grin at him and I respond with "well I could say the same thing about you" he was wearing a black shirt with light brown jeans, denim blue jacket, a grey beanie and brown sneakers. We eventually leave his house and head to the concert, Terrance took the aux cord in the car and started playing Ed Sheeran to pump us up and refresh our memories of the lyrics to the songs. Though we knew the lyrics to the song we sounded like a bunch of pigs being slaughtered but neither of us cared because we were on cloud nine and before we knew it we had arrived at our destination.

We went to our assigned seats which was right in front of the stage and as he walked around we put out our hands for him to high five and so he did. I completely lost my shit. That was the best moment of my life. His hands were so warm and soft but that wasn't just any high five, he held my hand for a good 5 seconds while looking into my eyes and singing Thinking Out Loud which is undoubtedly one of my favorite songs by him. Once the concert came to an end we headed back stage for the meet and greet. We were third in line and when he hugged us, my heart melted. His touch was gentle yet protective and I wished I could have kept my body interlocked with his forever. It was a touch that was indescribable. A touch that you wouldn't understand unless you had felt it. He even had a discussion with me for a short while and it made me so happy, his voice melted my heart.

As Terrance and I began leaving the stadium I say to him "shit, I'm hungry. Do you want to grab a bite to eat before I take you home?" he smiles ear to ear and nods his head in agreement. We drive around this unfamiliar place for a little while finding somewhere to eat and decided on Panda Express. It's inexpensive and tastes great. As we sit down to eat, we begin talking about our favorite parts of the concert which for me there were too many to count. All of it was great but I can't get the thought out of my head from when he held my hand. A moment of silence stirs between the two of us as we look into each others eyes. The silence is then broken with a kiss. Terrance leans over and our lips touch gently, I move in closer, my hand placed on his cheek. The kiss continues for another ten seconds before Terrance breaks it. We both sit back in shock of what had just happened. My chest fluttering with butterflies. 

We get up and leave the restaurant, heading to the car in complete silence. On the car ride to his house neither of us talked and my mind runs wild with thoughts, with questions like "what just happened? Why did I like it? Am I gay? Does he like me or was that just an accident?" my mind runs a million miles an hour. We arrive to his house and before he leaves I pull him in for one last kiss to see if the same feelings would occur. Feelings of butterflies in my stomach, feelings of joy, feelings of not wanting it to end. He broke the kiss once more and says to me in a puzzled voice "what was that about?" I say to him with an unsure voice "I- I don't know. I-I-I'm sorry I...." he shuts me up with one last kiss before we part ways. I wait until he heads into his house to start heading home and the entire ride to my house I could not get the kiss out of my head. 

As I walk through the door I see my mom sitting there with a smile on her face. She stayed up just to make sure I got home okay. I pull out the chair as we begin to talk. She asks simple questions at first like how was the concert but then the conversation got heavier as I begin to talk about the kiss between me and Terrance. I sense the tension in the air and begin to break down into tears, crying out "what's wrong with me?" she begins to console me and rubs my back, telling me she accepts me for who I am but why can't I? why have I been hiding this from myself for so long? Why do I feel so wrong. The tears do not stop until it tires me out to where I can barely keep my eyes open and can barely function. I send Terrance a message before the room goes black.