“Do you have coffee? Or even better a glass of wine?” You hear a soft chuckle.
“We do have wine, but not a lot of choice.”
“That’s okay, I hardly expect a good wine here. Even box wine is okay for this one time, helps calm the nerves.” The sultry voice answers.
“Haha well thankfully we have something a bit better than box wine.”
A glass of wine is put on the side table in the frame and a bottle without its label is set against it.
A beautiful woman walks into frame, the black high heels fit her petite figure as she turns around and looks at the camera before she sits down, she straightens her black dress with a white collar that is embellished with pearls. She brushes her hair to one shoulder and smiles.
“Can I just say I love the dress?” Someone says.
She laughs  and nods. “Of course you may say that, I love it too. It’s a great brand, Sandro. It’s even pretty affordable. But enough about that right? We are here for more serious things.”
“Action.” The clapperboard falls onto itself.

“Will you do us a favour Madame and introduce yourself briefly?”
“Of course, my name is Elaine Soleil Dubois and some of you know my might know from my job. I am half French, half Chinese but I am born and raised in Paris. One of the most beautiful cities in the world, if not the most beautiful. I am part of the grieving six, although many people seem to forget that.” She says with a smile. “I can’t smoke in here right?” She chuckles “of course not I am sorry that’s a stupid question.”

“Let’s jump right into it right Elaine?”
She nods and takes a sip of the wine. “I do need to be careful not to spill it.” She jokes as she puts it back.
“Who decided you should go to the camp?”
“That’s actually rather unique about my story. I chose to go to the camp. I had done my own research and I had the wrong motivations to go to the camp but I did choose to go there. I think it was more running away from being home and at the place where I felt guilty than it was the desire to heal. I just wanted to shut my heart off and it was easier with people I did not know I suppose.” She shrugs and takes a deep breath as her eyebrows shoot into the air. “I can’t deny that I was rather….despondent back then. I had a hard time feeling things, or at least feeling things other than… I don’t know how to explain this…. Other than grief perhaps? No it was more emptiness than grief.” She nods and plucks on her black tights. “So I chose it myself for the wrong reasons.”

“Are you grateful you came to the camp?”
“Yes, it distracted me from the person I no longer wanted to be. And later it did really help me. I felt joy again for the first time in one of the first few days there, even if I denied it was joy back then. It was healing me without my consent, it was a good environment for me. And I am actually strangely proud I made the decision to go there. Even if it was with the wrong motivations. I am happy about it. I think this was a camp that was well designed, and with expertise. You were in fact helping yourself while you believed you might have been defiant, but with that they made it exciting in a grown up way in my opinion. Also I met some of my best friends in the camp. People who didn’t care how much money I had, what my skin looked like, I liked other sorts of things or that I did not look exactly like them. It was freeing for me. I owe that camp my life I think. I had imprisoned myself in expectations and for me they melted away.” She nods. “I will forever sing their praises. For me it was a perfect storm. If I had not run away it must’ve been easier. But I’ll never know.”
“Well life is life and we can’t change it.”
“And nowadays I am strangely happy with that.” She says as she tucks her hair behind her ear and reveals a pearl earring to envy.

“What were your first thoughts on the camp?”
“Do you mean like based on appearance or just…how I felt when I first came to camp?”
The interviewer laughs.
“Can you do both?”
“I can. Based on appearance, I mean, it was great. Very beautiful surroundings. The cabins were okay I think. I wasn't so surprised to be honest. It was exactly how I expected it to be and I didn't pay much attention to the beauty of camp when I first arrived. Based on how I felt? I didn't really know then. I didn't want to come in the first place and when I arrived…I'm already there so I can't leave. I didn't really hate the camp but I also didn't like it. I just felt like…well, we'll see what happens.”
You hear laughter.
“Ah, yes, I'm just being honest. But of course, I felt less apathetic as time went on. It happens to everyone I think?”
“What happens to everyone?”
“Feeling indifferent about things.”

“Do you remember the very first thing you did at camp?
“Um…I don't think so. Like I said, the first day was kind of a blur. Everything was all new and scary. Which might’ve made me uncomfortable or resign into my thoughts. So…maybe I did do something. Thinking is something right?” She laughs at her own question.

“Who was your first friend?”
“Ahhh.” She smiles. “Siena, I can never forget that girl. She's the kindest, most beautiful creature I've ever met in my life. I don't really know much people like her. She's not my usual type of friend you know. I always saw people like her as weak and pathetic but really they are the most precious people in the world. Have you met her?!”

You hear laughter.

“Yes, she was in here not long ago.”

“She is! Sorry for my sudden enthusiasm. I remember how we met. It's a very funny story but it's not really an interesting one. When I met her that day, I was glad to have a friend at camp but I didn't think we would remain friends for that long. We ended up being really good friends for a long time. Well…until I ran away. But anyway, I really didn't believe we'd click. Sometimes you need someone who's very different from you. Opposites do really attract. We really complement each other it's a very beautiful thing to be honest. There are times when she needs my confidence, there are times when I need her sense of peace and calm…if that makes sense.”

“What was one thing at camp that made it worth it?”
The friendships and memories I made during my time there. I think I've said this before. So I don't think there's much else to add. They are all priceless and I won't trade them for anything. If I had known that I would have such precious memories and connections I would've been more eager to arrive but of course that's stupid because we don't know the future. I'm just grateful that I didn't somehow miss out something so wonderful.”

“What would you like to clear up for the public.”
“I think that is the hardest question you’ve asked me till now.” She says as she looks up at the ceiling. “Yeah, definitely the hardest question. For me personally there are not that many misconceptions. Maybe the fact that some of those fictional series make the camp counsellors seem like dictators, but in my opinion most were pretty reasonable. Some actions had consequences but if they could avoid to give you any consequences they would. There were a lot of psychology students as counsellors and they simply understood that we wanted to have fun so they would look the other way if we were out past the curfew. Or at least most would, they understood we were still teenagers and we really just desperately wanted to be normal. Or at least that was my experience.”

“Now for the real homerun Elaine.”
“I’m not an American, use some metaphors that make sense.”
“Ummm now for the pièce de resistance”
“Because I am French?” She looks at the camera and lifts one eyebrow. “Very funny.”
“Wow, you are making me nervous.”
“Ask the question already.” She chuckles “I was just kidding.” It’s interesting to see one of the grieving six being so relaxed with what has happened to them. She is sitting there as if this is a job interview and she knows she will get the job.
“Why did you run away?”
She sighs and licks her lips as she bats her make-up heavy eyes. “I am a bit embarrassed about this actually, because most of the other people who ran away had a really good reason. And I do not, or well, my reason is a bit…. Childish I suppose.”
“all reasons are Valid Elaine.”
“I know that now, but it felt strange back then, I really thought something was wrong with me. That I should’ve stayed. But the truth is that I ran because there was a small bushfire near our dorm. I was absolutely terrified of fire that is not being controlled, and so I ran, I wanted to go back to the city. But I got lost. Which is also a bit embarrassing.” She says with a chuckle. “But I can see the humour in it nowadays.”

“Alright, last question for today Elaine. If you could do this again the exact same way would you?
“Yes.” She says without hesitation. “I got to feel what it’s like to be human again in those woods. With those people. They understood, they all had problems, we were patient with each other and there was no pressure to be okay again. And I think that is what pushed us towards healing, the freedom of rediscovering ourselves and making mistakes over and over again if we needed to. The most common feeling in those weeks in the woods was forgiveness, and I would not have survived if I would not have discovered the ease of forgiveness, for others and for myself. I owe them my life, and I will always be happy to have this unique friendship. I am happy with who we are, and I will always be proud of being a part of the Grieving six.” She smiles and nods, “That is my story.”

“Was that good?” I ask with a smile
“it was perfect Elaine.” The boy standing behind the camera says.
“Thank you. And now I deserve a cigarette.” I say with a chuckle.
I walk out of the studio and light a herbal cigarette, I have been trying to quit. My partner doesn’t like the smell of cigarettes, and honestly I understand her. The sun shines on my face and reminds me of some of the days when we would wake up because of the sun, I chuckle as I remember Arthur and Ezra’s sunburn, although Ezra was only a bit sun kissed Arthur was a proper tomato. The smile on my face feels fitting, I never would have thought I would be happy with my own smile again all those years ago. But it now is my favourite expression, I think I am the most beautiful when my face expresses the joy I really do have. It makes me less of that perfect statue and more of a real person. I sigh and look at the sun again. I do not understand how we can lose hope so easily when life will settle on its own eventually. If my younger self would see myself now, she would not believe this is a real life or a real person. Maybe she would think I have died and gone to heaven. I chuckle and shake my head as I look at the puddles on the ground that are the only evidence that it has rained recently, but they’re drying up as well. How easily weather can change, how easily fortune does too.