I MUST'VE sounded so brave and resolute that day. To draw such a decision that is more or less unfaithful to the vow I swore to her, my conscience can't help but be choked by my own hypocrisy. I didn't want the object of my curiosity to be put into a pond where many await a bountiful catch, but the call I made essentially pushed her in. With my responsibility and curiosity clashing against one another, it's the only decision I can make. 

"What do you think of Mrs. Montelier, Lee?" I unconsciously asked as we strode the company building's halls, a part of my mind still in a haze after the weight of my decision eventually sank like an anchor into me. "Ikaw lang ang hindi nagsalita ng opinyon no'ng nakaraan. I thought I should ask, though I figured it's already too late."

My guard hummed for a moment and then, clicked his tongue. "Hmm. She's strange, I guess?" 

"Strange?" I turned my head at him, puzzled. 

"It's the only word that comes to mind, sir."

"Why is that?"

Ethan hugged the bouquet of peonies he was carrying tighter, his ears bright red and cheeks flushed like a boy who just got noticed by his crush. "Well, she smiles a lot even if I'm not doing anything. She never forgets to give me a piece of anything she eats, especially if they're sweets. She hardly speaks, but whenever she does, her words are also sweet!" he enthusiastically said as he touches the petals gently. 

I chuckled at his sudden display of embarrassment, but more so with his interesting response. He's usually uptight and only lets himself loose when we take the initiative to start a non-work-related conversation.  "She must've bribed you with a lot of sweets, huh?" I patted his head. "Are you not wary of her now because she seems to share your fondness for sweets?"

Isang biro lamang ang pinakawalan ko ngunit nahatak ako kung paanong nalunod sa malalim na pag-iisip si Ethan matapos nito. He's normally quick to answer, especially when it's about people. It was the first time he pulled such a peculiar comment and ended up taking his time over an obvious joke. I was relieved, but at the same time, worried.

"Then, she may not be strange, Lee," untag ko sa kaniya at iniayos ang nagulo niyang buhok. I don't want to drag him with me on overthinking things I could just concern about alone.  "If you think someone won't harm anybody and is friendly to you, the word should be 'nice' or 'kind,' don't you think?"

Pumabilog ang bibig ng pinakabatang miyembro ng High Command, animo'y isang estudyanteng may napag-alamanang bagong kaalaman. "I see!" he exclaimed but then, he went back to resting his chin on the flowers. "But Jaz and the others... they suspect her still. They think she'll hurt us someday one way or another. They think she's like Violet or perhaps, someone worse."

"Their job is to protect the Montelier Family line. We also cannot deny Charlotte's disappearance and Violet's deserting of duty. Though Quinzel is remarkable, so those two were as well. Can you blame them for thinking so?"

He shook his head. "I understand Ms. Gruen's point, of course. It's just that... whenever she looks at you, at us, she has a sad smile." He pouted. "It's like she's finally reunited with the people she's been longing for this whole time."

Unti-unting bumagsak ang kamay ko mula sa ulo nito at gayon na rin ang ngiting mayroon ako kani-kanina lang. Unlike his popular distant cousin, Dr. Collen Lee, Ethan was never a people person. He shies away from them and would prefer the least possible contact. It wasn't introversion, though. It's the scar of being thrown away by a family who detests a bastard born from their runaway daughter.

The unreasonable hatred he received before he was even born, he grew with it and learned to accurately determine who carries it under their sleeves. The wariness he has become a second instinct until he became perceptive and sensitive enough to distinguish who's deserving of trust or disgust. And he's never been wrong, not until Violet Augustus stole our doctor's heart and vanished from our sight.

"Still, don't let your guard down so easily, okay?" I reminded him. As much as I'm glad that it wasn't only me who thought the same toward Quinzel, I don't want Ethan's face to be dawned by disappointment again. He's too good and pure for that. "Thank you for telling me what's on your mind. I appreciate it."

He nodded in delight when I praised him, finally bringing his chin up and with a beaming smile at that. "You're welcome, sir! I hope the missus likes peonies! They're really pretty like her! Hehe."

"If she's really nice or kind, I'm sure she'll like whatever you bring to her," I replied despite seemingly being unable to pull my legs from the mud of doubts.

I won't deny there's a particular force urging me to trust de Agustin the moment I saw her, but what if this is actually a warning not to tangle my fate with hers? What bothers me more is that sometimes, I'm not looking at Quinzel but at someone else. So much for swearing I won't see her for whoever she is before I met her. Haaa... I'm the worst.

"Bossing!" agaw-pansin na pagtawag ni Rupert sa 'min sa harap ng sa pagkakaalam ko ay pansamantalang kwarto ni Quinzel. "Dali! Tulungan ninyo ko rito!"

Naningkit naman ang mga mata ko. "As far as I can remember, I ordered you to entertain her, not turn her into a glutton," tukoy ko sa napakaraming transparent na mga plastik ng pagkain na nakakawit sa mga kamay niya at ng iba pang bantay.

"Geez. Your wife is already a glutton as it is," he shrugged. "Might as well indulge her so that both Ethan and she can be happy. If they're both happy, they'll work effectively! If they work effectively, everyone else won't be grumpy! Am I right, Lee?"

At Rupert's encouragement to one of the seven deadly sins, the latter skipped his steps excitedly, almost forgetting he came with me. They instantly got immersed in discussing the gifts they brought and it nearly annoyed me. However, seeing these two Hansel finally found a Gretel, I guess I'll let it go.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Montelier," bati ng guwardiyang pinakaresponsable sa pagbabantay kay Quinzel sa mga oras na wala si Rupert. "We were not informed you'll be coming today. I apologize if we weren't prepared enough to welcome you."

"It's fine, Craig." I didn't expect myself to come here too, anyway. "And my wife?"

He bowed his head slightly. "Matapos po siyang i-assess ng secretariat team ayon sa utos ni Mr. Cortez, she's been in her room sketching and watching French and Italian movies, sir."

"Good job," I nodded in satisfaction. "I heard from an earlier report na binibilhan siya ni Aguirre ng mga puzzle, crossword, boardgame, at libro. Check the latest reviews and buy her the best ones."

"Masusunod po, sir," talima nito at saka niya binuksan ang pinto para sa 'kin.

Alam kong hindi mabubura ng mga materyal na bagay ang naging desisyon ko at lalong hindi rin nito mapapantayan ang kapahamakang kahaharapin niya para sa kapakanan ko. Pero kahit kakarampot, kahit sa maliliit na mga paraan, gustong bumawi ng konsensya ko. Gusto kong bumawi sa posibleng inosenteng tao na dinamay ko sa gulo ko.

I found dear Gretel sitting by the couch, her legs folded where a sketchpad resides. Though the room's dim, the lights matching the currently playing movie conquer every corner. Even so, her interest seems to not lie with the movie or the piles of boxes of dresses and accessories behind where she's sitting. Her almond-shaped eyes simply wandered within the boundaries of her drawings.

If you find out what I did, would you still look as calm and peaceful?

"Knock, knock," ani ko na siyang ikinatigil ng kamay niyang may hawak ng pluma.

When she raised her head and looked at me, a rather brazen smile formed on her lips. "To what do I owe the pleasure, husband?" she asked.

"Hindi mo ba itatanong kung bakit ako wala nang ilang araw?" Pinag-ekis ko ang mga kamay ko sa likod ko at marahang humakbang papalapit sa kaniya. Saglit na nagsalubong ang mga kilay niya at sa isang iglap na 'yon, tila awtomatikong nagdesisyon ang dila ko na lumiko ng ruta mula sa orihinal nitong destinasyon.

Hindi mo ba 'ko pinagsususpetyahan man lang? "I mean, by norms, we should be on our honeymoon phase, right?" sagot ko. "And no matter the reason, I have left you alone to the care of my comrades."

"Hmmm, no?" Quinzel shoots back. "I wonder. Do I, as a contract wife, have to ask what you do, where you went, and who you are with?"

Kakatwa. Siya man ang nagtatanong ngunit parang mas batid pa niya ang tamang sagot base sa kaniyang tugon. 'Good for her,' I thought. Mas malinaw pa sa kaniya ang kasunduan kaysa sa 'kin na lumikha nito. Mas naiintindihan niya ang mga kondisyones kaysa sa 'kin na naglatag ng mga ito. Kaya bakit... bakit ako ang nababalisa gayong alam naming dalawa na ang mabulaklak na pangako ko noong isinuot ko sa kaniya ang singsing ay alok sa kaniya para maging armas?

"Well..." Napalunok ako. "It's not so bad if you get worried sick about me once in a while. You can do that much, I guess?" nakangisi kong sagot at pinanliitan pa siya ng tingin.

Caesar Montelier, you're so pathetic. What are you even trying to do? What do you want to do with her, anyway?

Humagikgik naman ito at ipinahiga ang mga nakayuping binti. "Will you be disappointed if I say I wouldn't?"

"Maybe? You trust me too much, it's almost upsetting," I pretended to sulk and cross my arms against my chest. "You grew up in the Underground like any of us, you should know better not to trust so easily."

She instantly sneered at the childish gesture. "If there's someone else in this world who's most trustworthy, that's where I'd be," she said, putting her pen and pad down beside her. "You're too rare for the world that I can't let you be alone out there, endangered. Rather than trusting you because I'm your wife, I became your wife because I trust you from the very beginning."

At that very second, I swear my body trembled. I trembled at the words so close to hers.

"If there's someone else in this world who is as trustworthy as you, I wouldn't be making this decision. I can't come with you because you're quite rare. I can't let you be in danger because of me. If I let you so, it'd be similar to stealing the only remaining several lights in the world."

Puta. Ito na naman. Ito na naman ang pakiramdam na ayaw ko maramdaman. The wild curiosity over their similarities. The desperate wish to ask questions. The unexplainable willingness to believe any word. The pathetic desire to keep her here, hidden and out of everybody's reach.

Halos nagpapasalamat ako na maabot ang arm rest. "Am I supposed to be touched?" I continued the joke because it felt patching a spill from within me. Maybe it might stop. Maybe it can strengthen my almost limping legs. "Natutunan mo rin ba ang mga makekesong linya na 'yan kay Aguirre?"

"You really think I'd learn something like that from a stiff policeman like him?" Quinzel took a pillow from her left, hugging it as she giggled. "So, are you disappointed or not?"

"Maybe? Maybe not?" I tried to keep my cool, maintaining the smirk as if I still have everything under control. You're giggling? Giggling? Seriously? I'm dying here, Ms. de Agustin!

"Mysterious," she huffed. "I'm curious."

"Speak for yourself," I countered as I sit upon the arm rest. "Hindi ba't ako dapat ang nagagambala na parang mas interesado pa ang asawa ko sa mga palabas kaysa ang hanapin ako?"

They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Overly familiarized with the manifestation of this in reality, the elder married mafiosos have told me that a day away from home means there's hell to pay when you come back home. But I guess it's not universally applied to sham marriages as well, huh?

I saw Gretel paid attention to the television for the first time. "Mas interesado?" nakakunot ang noong pag-uulit niya sa nasabi ko.

"Hmm. Kanina mo pa raw pinapanood ang mga 'yan," ani ko at bumuntong-hininga nang mapunang hindi na maialis ang tingin niya sa kaninang tila dekorasyon na palabas. "What do you like about these movies, anyway? The male leads? Are they your ideal type?"

"Nope," she responded bluntly, her eyes reflecting the contemporary images of France on the screen. Lights of soft yellow hues touch her skin. "The places. The sensation of imagining you're there."

Only when she shortly mentioned it that I begin observing the places the characters are in. And whenever the scene flashes a new setting, I'd unintentionally check her expression only to find her gaze at them endearingly. May it be the Gothic-styled Notre Dame de Paris, the old yet historical Lamarck-Caulaincourt station, or the bustling neighborhood grocery, Maison Collignon, she looked at them as if she belonged there. She looked like a time traveler who was stuck in this place and time, never to return to her Montmarte apartment back in the 1990s.

"Have you ever been to France or Italy?" my mouth blabbered at the spur of the moment. The second I realized I threw a question about her past, panic washed over me. I promised not to!

"You don't have to answ—"

"I was born and raised in Italy, you know. Sicily, to be specific," aniya. "People tend to find things less impressive when they're born with it, but the sunsets and ports at the town I lived in never failed to raise one's romantic fantasies."

Nagugulumihanan man sa rason kung ba't may pait ang ngiting mayroon siya habang tinatalakay ang kinalakihan niyang lugar, pinili ko na lang ang ngumiti at ipinta ito sa isipan base sa paglalarawan niya. Sa paghihintay na 'yon, napansin ko ang larawang hindi niya natapos iguhit dulot ng pagdating ko.

"And France?" maingat kong tanong at dinampot ang sketchpad. "How about there?"

Subalit bago ko pa matukoy kung ano ang ginuguhit niya, napahinto na ang mga kamay ko sa ere sa pagkakatanggap ng sagot na akala ko'y handa kong malaman. Turns out... her version of Hansel and Gretel is the opposite.

"It was a winter Christmas in Paris when I moved there. It was a magical season but I turned it into a tragedy for someone my age. My target back then was his father and he was there watching when I killed him in cold blood."

Quinzel's Gretel is not lured by sweets to be devoured but rather enticed by the blood of the witch to grant eternal sleep in the forest.