ANG liwanag at ingay na nagmumula sa buhay ng piging ay hindi na nalalayo sa 'min. Sa oras na marating namin ang kinukubli ng mga higanteng pinto, opisyal nang magsisimula ang tunay na laro. Ang larong wala pa ring pinal na kampeon hanggang sa may dumaloy na dugo. Ang larong kung saan namamayagpag yaong mga taong mula sa nakaraan ko. At higit sa lahat, ang larong kailangan ni Caesar na maipanalo.

Hindi ko ipagkakaila. Simula paglabas ko ng kwarto, kakaiba ang dagundong ng tibok ng puso ko. Ano ang kabuuang tingin ng High Command sa mga isiniwalat ko? Paano kung mahapyawan pa nila ang mga pahinang maingat kong nilalampasan? Paano ay kung mauna akong talikuran ni Caesar bago ko pa siya matulungang makawala sa tanikala? 

I consciously glanced at the man beside me and hopelessly stared at him. And when he didn't utter a single word despite noticing it, I took upon the courage to ask the questions I'd been itching to throw. 

"Are you mad at me?" I whispered before I shifted my eyes toward the shortening line of guests before us. "I told you. Hindi mo magugustuhan ang mga kwento ng dating ako. Are you disappointed? Would you have preferred to never know what lies beyond my past?"

"Rather than mad, I'm upset," he answered unexpectedly quickly, almost as if he's been waiting all this time for me to take the initiative to speak. Because let's be honest, I hardly talk to him first. Whatever response I could've said, it was just all in my mind, and it never left. 

"I'm upset that just when we've settled one thing about this marriage, a new problem arises."  I gulped at the clear bitterness in his tone, almost wishing he didn't answer at all. How is it that the more we open up to each other, the more we misunderstand each other's motives?

"Marriage," natatawang ismid ko na siyang ikinangiti ng isang gilid ng mga labi ni Caesar. 

"They say the first year is the hardest," he added. 

Matapos ng palitan na ito ay muling katahimikan. Ngunit sa pagkakataon na ito ay hindi na nakaririndi o nakayuyupi ng konsensya. Katahimikan itong nakalaan sa pagkakaunawa namin na anuman ang tunay na motibo ng pag-iisang dibdib na 'to, kami lang dalawa ang nakapaloob dito. Dalawa kami sa bangkang ito at nasa sa amin kung ay malulunod na isa o lulubog kami nang sabay. 

"Ako ang nagsabi na ayos lang na may itago ka pero hindi ko maiwasan ang mahiwagaan. At sa tuwing nakatatanggap naman ako ng sagot, imbes na mapalagay, mas lalo lang akong nababagabag," pagbabahagi ng saloobin ni Caesar.

"Do you regret choosing me?" I asked, oblivious of where the guts to do so came from. "Do you think Dr. Pherenn gave you a bad recommendation, after all?"

"Are you going to win the Queen of the Hunt just to prove you're not?" Caesar snorted.

"And if I do?"

"I don't think winning a title for the seventh time will still be as impressive as the first."

My brow twitched at his frankness. "What will be impressive, then? Separation?"

Animo'y isang pinagbabawal na salita, marahas na napabaling sa 'kin si Caesar. "Must that be your response when someone is asking for reassurance?"

"Must that also be the response of someone who told me they'll only trust the present me?" I snapped back.

Batid ko na pareho kaming may nais pang ilahad sa isa't isa. Batid kong may kapwa punto kaming nais patunayan 'pagkat may sapat na rason para banggitin ito. Batid kong sa diretsa't prangka naming salita ay mayroon kaming hindi sinasadyang bitiwan. Pero gawa ng hindi naaayon na lugar at sitwasyon, pinili naming tuldukan nang panandalian ang usapan.

"Let's talk about this later," he told me after heaving a long sigh. It sounded like it didn't matter to win the argument anymore. He sounded exhausted. He sounded like he can't bear listening to me at the moment. "Fuck the title. You don't have to win it, I'm serious. I don't need the Queen's Wish to win my battle."

But you do. Humigpit ang hawak ko sa pouch na dala ko, dismayadong walang kaalam-alam si Caesar o ang High Command sa tunay na patakaran ng kumpetisyon. Kung may sapat na oras lang... Kung nailapat ko lang nang mas maayos ang mga bagay-bagay para sana hindi sila ngayon nabibigla...

"If that's what you wish, Mr. Mont—"

"And just so you know, we won't."

I was startled when his gloved hand reached for my left, nudging it to come to him. There was reluctance in me for a second and then when I allowed it, he took it ever carefully and linked it against his arm. He patted the top of my hand gently afterward like how would one handle something so precious and fragile. 

"We won't be separating because these suspicions can be solved if we keep deciding to believe each other," Caesar clarified firmly, almost as if he was telling me he won't yield to anything otherwise. "So, let's hold on, okay? Let's talk about it once we get home."

I was moved by how he momentarily paused this matter of doubts and reassurance. He didn't leave our promise to trust each other hanging like a man dangling for dear life at the edge of a cliff. I bet not every man would have the patience and understanding to back down from an argument as he did, especially if they find out their wife is actually acquainted with their nemesis.

Sometimes, I wonder what happened on those days he didn't see me, the days he seemed to pretend that I am not existing, the days I thought he might have spent regretting bringing me to his side. Did he find out what truly lies beyond me? I know he needs me to be his weapon, but aside from that, where is he getting this unconditional faith in me from?

"Don't think about the title anymore. You've already won it before, right? You no longer have anything to prove to me or to anybody else for that matter," he reminded again, but all I can think of is what he would've wished if he knew the extent of how much he can wish for once he gets the hunt prize.

"Have a pleasant evening, sir and madam." Matapos ang pamamaalam nito sa naunang pares ay agad na nagawi sa 'min ang mga mata ng may kaedaran nang mayordomo.

Dali-dali nito kaming nilapitan at nginitian nang mas malawak pa sa pinasilay nito sa mga nauna. "My word! Welcome, Mr. and Mrs. Montelier! It's such a pleasure to see newlyweds for quite some time! Not to mention, on a party like this!" he exclaimed with his hands clasped against each other.

"Well, null is a marriage not blessed by Don Montenegro," Caesar courteously stated with a dashing smile, unbothered by the murmurs of the guests behind us.

Napatango-tango naman ang lalaki hanggang sa kalaunan, napunta sa akin ang atensyon nito. "The rumors did you injustice, Madame Quinzel! Your beauty exceeds what the rumors said!" puri nito sa pagkalakas-lakas na boses na kung sumaktong iritable ako ay baka nasampal ko na ang bibig nito.

Hindi naman lingid sa kaalaman ko ang hangarin nito na dalhin sa 'min ang kuryosidad ng lahat. Pero bakit ko iiwasan ang atensyong 'to, lalo na kung magagamit ko rin ito?

I pretended to be embarrassed at the compliment, covering my smile with my pouch for a second. And when the guests behind us weren't expecting it, I looked back at them with my hair flipping away. Brandishing a shy smile, I perfected the act by sultrily saying, "All I can pray for is that everyone thinks the same."

Nang ibinalik ko ang tingin sa mayordomo ay bakas ang pagkabigla nito, animo'y hindi inaasahan ang ganoong tugon. "O-Of course... Tiyak kong kahit na sino ay sasang-ayon sa papuri ko sa inyo, madame."

Maging ang mga naghihintay sa aming likuran ay natahimik. At tanging nang mapatikhim si Caesar ay doon lamang napagtanto ng matanda na dapat na niya kaming aluhin papasok. Gayunpaman, hindi ang kagaraan ng bulwagan, ang sinag ng magagarbong mga chandelier, o ang nagkikinangang mga dekorasyon ang unang sumalubong sa 'kin... kundi sermon.

"Mon amour?"

"Yes?"

"Hindi pa tayo tapos sa usapang kung paano mo napagkilalanan si Julian, tama?" 

"Y-Yes. Why?"

"Nothing. I just want to beseech you not to give those pathetic tadpoles reasons to ogle at you. Please have mercy on them," nangingiti ngunit nagngingitngit na paalala nito sa 'kin. 

If I didn't know better, I would've thought you were jealous or something.

Suddenly thinking of teasing him, I challenged him. "Then don't let them."

Inialis ko ang pagkakalingkis ng kaliwa kong kamay sa braso niya at saka dinala ang kamay niya sa pagkakahapit ng bewang ko. "One way to indicate someone's yours is to have your hands on them everytime, mon amour," I taught him while grinning mischievously, my eyes watching my reflection on his. "So, do it like you mean it... because with me, you're the only one who's entitled to do so."

And I guess Caesar Montelier accepted the lesson seriously. Dahil kesyo nakikipag-kumustahan sa mga bisita, o 'di kaya'y nasa isang tabi upang pag-usapan ang mga plano para sa gabing ito, may iba't ibang paraan siya upang 'di mawalay sa balat ko. Kung minsa'y nakaakbay, minsan ay pinagkukrus ang mga daliri namin, at sa isang punto ay tinatakpan na ng itim niyang coat ang mga balikat ko. Inutil na lang ang hindi makakakuha na asawa niya 'ko.

"Talk about clingy, eh?" he commented as soon as he procured a glass of wine from a passing waiter, while playing with the tip of his blonde braid. "Kanina mukhang gg ang lolo natin pero ngayon, akala mo nakuha na niya ang premyo ng Queen of the Hunt."

"It's not like I can go against him, you know," ani ko at itinaas ang libreng kamay ko upang ikaway kay Caesar na labag sa loob na sumama sa panghahatak ng grupo ng mga matatandang negosyante sa hindi kalayuan. "He'd easily find a way to get things to agree with him."

"You won't receive any argument from me with that," Rupert shrugged, sympathizing with my sentiment. "But... we're really mystified, Ms. Quinzel." Binalingan ako nito't tinitigan nang mariin.

"It's not like everyone can call Don Montenegro's first name so casually as you do."

Nanlamya ang kamay ko't nahulog sa gilid ko. Hinahangaan ko ang hindi pumapalyang kaprangkahan ng naitalagang guwardiya ko. "Later. Later... Bring some sweets with Ethan when we talk about it, 'kay?" I reassured him to which he appreciatingly beamed at.

"If that's what you say so, ma'am! Hehe! Pero seryoso kanina pa kasing pula ng gochujang sauce si boss— Oww!"

Bago pa niya mabuo ang pagpuna sa kaaalis lang na amo, dumating na rin si Reinald at maliksing inabot ang tenga ni Victor na may pinakamaraming piercing. "Are you being paid to badmouth your own boss?" lektura nito.

"Whether I'm badmouthing him or not, what matters is I'm getting paid!" ngiwi naman ng kabila na hindi matapos ang pagtatapik sa kamay ng consigliere sa tenga niya.

Nais kong bumuntong-hininga. Mukhang kahit ano ang maging tema ng kaganapan ay hindi maiiwasan ng dalawang 'to ang oportunidad na sakmalin ang leeg ng isa't isa. Magkagayon man, agad ding nalusaw ang tuwa sa panonood sa kanila nang rumehistro sa 'kin ang boses ni Hillary mula sa ear chip.

"The Marionette is coming in your direction. Eight o'clock," she announced.

Shit. Right at the beginning, eh?

Kung bibisitahin ko ang bawat Queen of the Hunt na nasalihan ko, ang pagdating niya marahil ang maituturing mong hudyat ng paghuhukom. Ang pagpapadala niya ng mga tauhan kanina ay hindi pang-iinsulto sa mga Montelier kundi isang pagbati sa 'kin. Alam na niyang ang Quinzel na kilala niya ay naririto at muli na niyang makikita ito matapos ang pitong buwan na paglalaho. 

"Cortez, watch out for any sign of death once I disappear," I immediately blurted out. "Anything." This sudden warning made the two jolt away from one another and put their quarrel aside in instant.

"Mrs. Montelier? Whatever do you mean?" the consigliere inquired with a frown.

Malalim akong huminga, humihiling sa isipan na sana'y naging mas mahaba ang oras para ihanda sila sa maaaring bagong pakulo ng 'kasiyahang' ito. Dahil kahit kailan, hindi umuulit ang mga hamong nakapaloob sa kumpetisyong ng Queen of the Hunt. Bawat taon, may bago.

"Make sure Caesar won't freak out. Tell him to not to do anything rash. Act like you're sure I'm going to win, is that clear?" pagpapatuloy ko sa kalmadong postura bagamat binibilang ko na ang ilang segundong natitira bago siya makalapit nang tuluyan.

Hinablot ni Rupert ang siko ko, nagugulumihanan sa mga habilin ko. "Mr. Montelier already forbade you not to join!" he exclaimed, panicking.

"Any moment now, signorina. I'll be starting now since he's brought 'some friends,'" Hillary reported. Oh, great. 

I bit my lower lip in frustration. I know better than anyone that a hunt never starts at a fixed time. It always starts whenever the gamemaster desires. Somehow, the regret of being in deep slumber for over a day worsened. But I won't be able to warn them if my AI failed to bring herself online on time.

I put my pouch gently down at the table and laid my hand on Rupert's. "Liban pa sa taon-taon itong isinasagawa, may isa pa kayong dapat malaman na patakaran ng hunt. Iyon ay—"

"Offensive and defensive functions initiating..."

Ang pagtatapos ng babala ni Hillary ay isang malinaw na senyas na wala ng dapat ikababala 'pagkat nakarating na ang target sa inaasahang posisyon. Pruweba ang mainit niyang hininga sa batok ko at maging ang aroganteng hagikgik nito na akala ko'y hindi ko na muling mapakikinggan.

"So much for my efforts on putting the Monteliers on the dark," parinig nito't dinampi ang mga malalaking kamay niya sa magkabilang balikat ko. Kasabay nito ay ang malalakas na singhap at pag-arangkada ng imahinasyon mula sa iba't ibang direksyon.

Ang kaninang suliranin sa mansyon, mukhang magiging paksa na rin ng tsismisan para sa Underground buong taon: kapanalig ba 'ko ng uwak o espiya ng pulang sirkulo?

"Greetings, Don Montenegro," Reinald saluted with a hardened tone, eyeing the hands resting on my blades.

Without a care to everyone's stares, Julian leaned closer to me. "Mukhang tama lang ang pagdating ko. The head of the family is not here," aniya nang hindi inaalis ang tuwa sa pananalita.

So it's you who sent those old lackeys to take Caesar away, huh?

Lines have become visible on Rupert's face, obviously realizing the same thing. However, before these lines could turn into bruises, later on, I subtly shook my head to discourage him not to let Julian's words get to him.

Seeing this tension as the start of his fun tonight, Julian continued provocatively. "Tutal ay pinutol ko ang usapan niyo, hayaan niyo kong tapusin ang pangungusap ni Mrs. Montelier."

At nang sapat na ang lapit niya sa 'kin sa puntong nagkakatitigan na kami kahit sa gilid lang ng mga mata namin...

"You see, the hunt can only end for a sole reason. And that is... if there's no participant left other than the winner herself." 

******

A/N: First day of work tomorrow! Cheers to our new firsts this year! xoxo