When I woke up I was alone in bed and felt just fine. It was probably good if I went to go eat something but I was still wearing the robe. So I got up and went to the bathroom to take a shower and change. I got into pajamas and wished I had pizza to eat but no luck. And when I got back to the room James was inside.

"What are you doing here?" James' voice asked as I sat on the countertop eating.

"Thought I should after my lovely collapse."

"Sounds like a song."

"Who said it isn't?" I kept eating olives and cheese.

"Want something to drink with that?"

"Water please."

"Here you go," he opened a bottle and gave it to me while grabbing one for him. "You know the only other person to collapse in there was my sister."

"Oh sorry. I didn't mean to."

"Are you fine now?" He came and stood in front of where I sat with one leg dangling off the counter and another crossed under my leg.

James proximity left me wondering all the time about his thoughts on me. Did he mean anything by this or was I just another friend? Sure he had tried to kiss me but I panicked. Or maybe this was for the best maybe he only wanted me for a minute and the minute was over. He was ready to be infatuated with someone else.

"Yes. Want some?" I asked about the olives since he was already eating cheese and he nodded. So I used my fork to grab on to the pitted olive and offered it to him.

"Um," he ate the olive. "Well the nurse said you'll be fine after she gave you the fluid bag so you don't need to worry too much."

"Nurse?"

"You slept right through it huh?"

"Oh so that's why I had a bandaid. I hate those bandaids they always leave a mark on me for days. Painful to get out too. I rather be pricked by a needle a hundred times than have those bandaids on me," I complained looking down at my arm.

"Sorry," he looked down too.

"Don't be. Thanks for the fluid bag." I answered even though I had no idea nurses made house calls like this. But he lived a different life a little detail I kept forgetting ever since I stepped foot in this cabin.

"So I know our conversation was a little off earlier but you won't leave right?" He put his hands on the counter and I almost lost his words because I was locked in to his movements instead.

Why was he doing this? Getting so close but keeping just enough distance to be respectful when I wasn't keeping mine. Well not here I wasn't. Was this on purpose? Did he feel this comfortable because we were friends or because he wanted me to meet him halfway? It was a nice humans weren't developed enough to read another's mind. If James could see my mind, he'd see just how much I lusted after him in that sauna and now here.

"Is there a reason I should stay?"

"Of course there is." He said sure of himself and I waited to hear him. "Your friends. You need to be with them."

"I'll see you at dinner." I stuck an olive in his mouth and jumped off the counter.

What was I thinking questioning him like that? Why was I doing this now? This stupid cabin, and stupid James, and stupid me knowing better than this yet I wanted him to kiss me? Could it be that all I needed was to kiss him in order to break the spell of him? If I was the witch then why had I been cursed with these thoughts of his gentleness and warmth wrapping around me like the smoky red sauna. If only I hadn't collapsed.

*

For New Year's Eve I decided to wear an all white dress. Although to most it would've been another plain ol' Jane outfit to me it was the only thing I had bought since I got my first job in New York City. It wasn't brand new but the lady told me it had been worn only once before. For the price it was a bargain since apparently it was some designer piece that even Jenna attested to. And also the only New Year's type of occasion outfit I had.

For a minute I thought whether or not the red lipstick was the way to go but didn't want to tempt fate while wearing a white dress. So I just used it as a light blush and eyeshadow instead. I had learned how to do a bun off the internet and on the second try I got the result I was seeking. It was interesting to see all my hair away from my face. I wasn't used to it but I didn't hate it. What struck me was how I had never thought about my outer appearance until I didn't have the one person who always wanted me to care; my mom. But she would've hated to see everything I liked and wore now anyways.

Maybe New Years was the time to start over? Maybe my mom had missed over the holidays? My cell reception wasn't great here but I reached for the phone and called dad, he didn't pick up. So I hung up and put my shoes on, I would try later since I knew they would be awake to ring in the New Year's.

The only thing I had to do before dinner was put back the robe I had borrowed from James' sister. So I went upstairs to put it back and realized her dresser was filled with perfumes. The one thing I hadn't brought with me. I wondered if it would be okay to spray one so I smelled all of the tops of the perfumes but didn't spray it. Not without asking James first.

"What are you doing in here?" Lindsey questioned me as I smelled one of the tops of the perfumes.

"I was putting back the robe I borrowed." I said putting down the perfume.

"I knew that looked familiar on you."

"Yes."

"James is insane you know? He should know better than to do that. His sister is crazy territorial about her things. She's fired I don't know how many maids because she's got this paranoia that they're stealing from her. Or leaving their fingerprints all over her stuff."

"Oh I had no idea."

"Yeah James is unattached to things so he just assumes no one else should care or cares. I mean is it any wonder he's still hanging around NYU when he could've gone to an Ivy or literally anywhere else in the world with a more prominent name? They call it slumming but he swears it's his way of asserting his independence."

"Ah..."

"I mean I'm a sophomore but I'm already looking to get transferred out to Princeton for their drama department."

"Wow that's amazing. I hope you get in."

"Hope?" She questioned me.

"Congratulations then?" I said trying to understand the sentiment I should have and she nodded as to say this was the right way to react to the news.

Princeton was a given to someone like her. For me NYU was as big as the world got in my head. But for others, for her, I was pluto, a mere blip in her atmosphere. Her world was too expansive for me to wrap anything let alone my mind around and I was once again at a loss of words.

"What are you two doing here?" James walked into the room holding a tie.

"Just talking. Do you need help with that?" Lindsey offered.

"Uh..." He looked at me without saying anything and Lindsey walked over to help him.

"I'll see you two for dinner. Excuse me," I said turning around.

Lindsey was giving me a bad feeling about something but I couldn't put my finger on it at first. So I scurried away just then I remembered the feeling that once haunted me was the same now. It was Olivia again. It was the same when I hid from Olivia for Adam's sake. I couldn't do it again. I refused to ever again. It was a relief now that James and I hadn't kissed. I guess we were meant to stay this way.

*

At dinner the boys were playing some funky music dancing. Being pulled in by Sam and Jenna into the crazy dancing I only faked a little dance on the way to the appetizers. Just as I was about to get the chocolate covered fruits I thought of my white dress and grabbed a plate to eat from. If I ruined this dress I would never forgive myself maybe because it was my hard earned money, sentimentality, or just for the fact I didn't want to get embarrassed any further today in front of Lindsey or James. As I ate one of the boys came over to throw away cheap talk and I nodded with a smile while keeping my mouth busy with the cheese and jam.

"Do you want some wine with that? I know just the pairing," he asked.

"It better be white if you're a wearing a Vintage Ralph Lauren," Jenna said.

"A Vintage Ralph Lauren?!" One of the girls exclaimed in excitement coming over to me.

"Really?" Lindsey asked coming in holding James' arm. "Are you sure?"

"I think so, right Jenna?" I asked to make sure. I was petrified of being wrong and coming off as a liar or a pretentious wannabe.

"Well people make all sorts of lies to sell hand me downs." Lindsey commented and all of a sudden I wanted to rip the dress off my body and hide into a hole.

"I thought you'd of all people would know," James told her.

"I would know too," Jenna said.

"Well it's not a big deal, I just liked it it's all. So where's the wine?" I smiled at everyone ready to move everyone from the conversation.

"And you'd be right. You look gorgeous. Come on let's go to the wine cellar." The boy who first approached me to talk said and I put down the plate.

"Thank you, excuse me," I nodded to everyone following him to the basement.

What was that? I took a deep breath. What was that talk? Why was she saying those things? Who cared if the dress was designer or not? Is this really what they were like or just her? What did she want from me? When did this tension between us began anyway?

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No part, character, names, plot, setting, conflict or resolution, point of view, theme or symbolism of this story may be replicated.

Copyright: All Rights Reserved to A. Sena Gomes.