I'm soooo excited!! Here it is lovelies, the first chapter!! ><
Don't forget to listen to the song when you get to the lyrics part, you'll be able to see the difference and how this stories version applies to it differently than the original.

Chapter 1

Gangnam-gu, Seoul, South Korea

11:23pm

Chan was out on balcony smoking his intrusive thoughts away. He puffed out the smoke that would one day most definitely kill him as he looked towards the starry sky. Though the pollution of lights made it almost impossible to see any.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, picking it up he looked at the screen.

Incoming Call: A. Innie

Chan was more than surprise and confused to see the younger calling him at such a late hour.

Normally he and Changbin would almost forcefully make Chan turn off his phone so that the older could maybe - key word maybe - have a restful night of sleep.

"Sup."

"Hyung. What are you doing right this second?"

"Standing up." He deadpanned, "Why?"

"Shit. Ok first, sit down, and second, I gotta tell you something, also you can't look at X (formerly Twitter)!"

"Why? What's happening? What do these idiots think I did now?" Chan asked with a tired sigh.

".....Hyung...I-......"

"Spit it out I.N!" Chan practically growled. He hated when people never got to the point and the younger knew that.

"Sorry, sorry Hyung, it's just- I honestly don't know how to tell you this without sending you into a really, really bad headspace.....But you deserve to know....Someone hacked into your studio account server and stole one of your files."

A second in complete silence passed.

"Which one?" Chan asked.

"......The Mockingbird one..."

Instantly Chan's heart dropped to his ass and stopped beating for just a second, and then it started beating like never before, his eyes turned an angry amber red, it was as if fire was coming out of them. His alpha was angry and on alert. But he himself was just scared – petrified.

His pheromones went haywire, to the point where he himself was having trouble breathing. Or maybe that was just the incoming panic attack, he couldn't tell anything apart any longer.

"I'm so sorry, Hyung...."

"How the fuck did this even happen Jeongin?! We paid millions of fucking dollars for its security! Just to have some good for nothing piece of shit hack it?!"

He was seething, the anger taking over but his fear wasn't going away, in fact it's as if it was feeding it self to the anger.

"And steal the ONE file that should never see the light of day?! Are you fucking kidding me?!"

Livid, that's the best way to describe how his alpha was feeling.

"Hyung I'm sorry, we're trying to deal with it, we were able to lock them out. But Hyung...it's already done, they stole and published the file, it's all over the internet."

Chan was certain that Jeongin could hear his growl growing louder and louder through the phone.

"....Just try to calm down and not go on X (formerly Twitter)!"

Chan instantly hung up the phone. He could feel his alpha's pain and anger boiling over, straining his self-control to the maximum.

The very same thoughts he was previously trying to smoke away came back with a punch straight to the heart.

He honestly was ready to end it all.

He was tired. Exhausted. Just drained really. Bang Chan lost himself long, long ago. Now, he's just a mask, trying to not break even more.

But the truth is, there was no reason to hold on, he was already shattered.

His daughters hated him and wouldn't even give him the time of day. He couldn't marry because of his career, read - because he was a workaholic. Much less mate because he was still in love with his ex. His ex....the love of his life.

Chan walked into his living room and face planted onto the couch.

He sighed and ran his hands through his hairs. He didn't know what to do. He promised Jiji, he promised him. But above all, he had promised Audrey. And now, whether it be his fault or not, that promise was broken. He ruined his family's lives...again.

("The Mockingbird's bleeding heart" is inspired by Eminem's Mockingbird. I'll be using the song but not all the lyrics. Below is an edited ver. that represents Chan's ver. )

Yeah

I know sometimes things may not

Always make sense to you right now

But hey, what daddy always tell you?

Straighten up little soldier

Stiffen up that upper lip

What you crying about?

You got me

Audrey, I know you miss your mom

And I know you miss your dad when I'm gone

But I'm trying to give you the life that I never had

I can see you're sad

Even when you smile

Even when you laugh

I can see it in your eyes

Deep inside, you wanna cry

'Cause you're scared

I ain't there?

Daddy's with you in your prayers

No more crying

Wipe them tears

Daddy's here

No more nightmares

We gonna pull together through it

We gon' do it

Aurora, uncle's crazy ain't he?

Yeah, but he loves you girl and you better know it

We're all we got in this world

When it spins

When it swirls

When it whirls

When it twirls

Two little beautiful girls

Looking puzzled, in a daze

I know it's confusing you

Daddy's always on the move

Mommy's always on the news

We did not plan it to be this way

Your mother and me

But things have got so bad between us

I don't see us ever being together ever again

Like we used to be when was teenagers

But then of course

Everything always happens for a reason

I guess it was never meant to be

But it's just something

We have no control over

And that's what destiny is

But no more worries

Rest your head and go to sleep

Maybe one day we'll wake up

And this will all just be a dream

Now hush little baby don't you cry

Everything's gonna be alright

Stiffen that upper lip up little lady

I told ya, daddy's here to hold ya

Through the night

I know mommy's not here right now and we don't know why

We fear how we feel inside

It may seem a little crazy, pretty baby

But I promise, Momma's gon' be alright

It's funny

I remember back one year when daddy had no money

Mommy wrapped the Christmas presents up

And stuck 'em under the tree

And said some of them were from me

'Cause daddy couldn't buy 'em

I'll never forget that Christmas

I sat up the whole night cryin'

'Cause daddy felt like a bum

See daddy had a job

But his job was to keep the food on the table for you and mom

And at the time, every house that we lived in

Either kept getting broken into and robbed

And your mom, was saving money

For you in a jar trying to start a piggy bank for you

So you can go to college

Almost had a thousand dollars

'Til someone broke in and stole it

And I know it hurt so bad, it broke your mama's heart

And it seemed like everything was just starting to fall apart

Mom and dad was arguing a lot

So mama moved back in with with Uncle Lino in the flat one bedroomapartment

And that's when daddy went to California with his CD

And met PD Bin and flew you, Aurora and Mama out to see me

But daddy had to work

You and mama had to leave me

Then you started seeing daddy on the TV

And mama didn't like it

And you and Aurora were too young to understand it

Papa was a rolling stone

Mama developed a habit

And it all happened too fast for either one of us to grab it

I'm just sorry you were there and had to witness it first hand

'Cause all I ever wanted to do was just make you proud

Now I'm sittin' in this empty house, just reminiscin'

Looking at your baby pictures it just trips me out

To see how much you both have grown

It's almost like your sisters now

Wow, I guess you pretty much are

And daddy's still here

Aurora I'm talking to you too

Daddy's still here

I like the sound of that, yeah

It's got a ring to it, don't it?

Shhh, mama's only gone for the moment

Now hush little baby don't you cry

Everything's gonna be alright

Stiffen that upper lip up little lady

I told ya daddy's here to hold ya

Through the night

I know mommy's not here right now and we don't know why

We fear how we feel inside

It may seem a little crazy pretty baby

But I promise

Mama's gonna be alright

And if you ask me to

Daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird

I'ma give you the world

I'ma buy a diamond ring for you

I'ma sing for you, I'll do anything for you to see you smile

And if that mockingbird don't sing and that ring don't shine

I'ma break that birdy's neck

I'll go back to the jeweller who sold it to ya

And make him eat every carat

Don't fuck with dad, hehehe

You could find Chan laying down on the couch for the rest of the night, rethinking all of his life's choices, as well as giving some real thoughts on whether he should actually go through with his plans of choking himself to death with his cushions.

This song was something that saved him - the thought of it though, broke him even more every time. It's so important and so destructive. Everything he wanted to say and convey, express, explain but couldn't - no, wouldn't - he finally said it. But it was never supposed to actually be heard by anyone, much less the entire world.

Chan would do anything for his family, kill however needed to be killed. But this was completely out of his control, and he hated himself even more for it. Chan just wanted them to be happy and if that meant being the bad guy, then he would be the bad guy.

He would do it all again.

He would kill for them.

He would die for them.

Again.

OMG!! This is it!! The first chapter yay! Please tell me what you all thought about it until now!