I wish I could run away to my own imaginary world.

Then I wouldn't have to face the pain that is my reality.

~BookishTsundere

*
차
하
나
*

Cha Hana

The bell rang, signifying the end of school for many young children of Daedo Elementary School, including myself.

I could only sigh, putting my books into my bag to go home without a care for the world. My movements felt sluggish, as per usual. As if it had lost its energy.

Well, it did more than a year ago, when my twin disappeared....

"Hana, I have somewhere to go. Can you and Semo go back by yourselves?" Dingyo asked me as she and Layla got their bags.

"Yeah, of course we can," I faked a smile. "Semo's in the toilet for now, so you guys should go ahead." 

"You sure?" Layla frowned. "I'm worried about what might happen to you..." 

"Same here...." Dingyo nodded. "I'll get Suho to accompany you-" 

"No need," I shook my head. "I'll be fine." 

"You sure?" Ogong's voice wafted in, making us turn to see him and his brother Ondol looking at us (well, me) in concern.

"Yes, I'm very sure. Plus, Suho's busy with his dad, remember?" I reminded him.

"I know, but still..." he sighed. He and Ondol had come back after the final villains had been defeated, thus allowing us to have a hearty reunion with them. They had grown close enough so they didn't have to worry about being separated by Ogong's Pilot duties, which we were all glad for. 

He did tell me once that he felt like something was missing from our goodbye video....

Of course, it clicked to me at once.

I knew who was missing.

I opted to smile at him, "Really, I'm fine. You guys should head off."

"But-"

Semo thankfully chose to pop up that moment, blinking, "Hey guys. Something wrong? Why do you guys look so strange-" 

"Nothing! Let's go!" I grabbed him and dragged him away, not giving him a chance to talk to the others. The last thing I wanted my cru- er, I mean friend, to do was to panic over me. He had done that once too many time over the year when I had to cope with....

"Hana! Slow down!" He panted out, trying to wrench his hand from my death grip. 

However, my steps were perpetual, grip tight. My eyes went glassy. 

Remembering when someone was once in the same position as Semo, long long ago. 

"*laughs* Oppa! Slow down! Please!"

My chest tightened. Tears threatened to fall from my cheeks, but I kept my head down, covering my eyes from anyone who might be passing by.

The people who did catch my face, though, went immediately into gossip mode. 

"Hey... Isn't that the kid who lost his twin two months ago?"

Shut up... 

"Yeah it is... Poor him..."

Leave me alone... You don't know me...

"I heard rumours that his twin had depression, and this was a suicide."

"Woah, why would he? Their family's amazing, right?" 

No no no, stupid... 

"Well, this is coming from a strange source, but apparently, the one who died was hurt too much by the other kid's dad. They seemed close before." 

"You mean Kwon Limo?" 

"Yeah, that's the guy. The Boorong guy who got arrested because of his friend. Apparently, they were close friends, and he then came back to help them or something." 

Shut up shut up shut up. 

"So they're saying that he made the poor kid snap?"

"Nah, apparently his dad favoured him more that the dead one." 

The dead one...

My grip grew tighter. My vision swam with more tears. 

Everything faded away. Those words just began swimming fishes in my own world as I ran and ran. I didn't even care where I was going now. All I wanted to do was to get away from all the gossipers... I wanted to go home... And cry all by myself.

I went on autopilot. I just felt numb. It hurt so much... Being reminded of him... 

Being reminded of my brother....

My sweet baby brother... Who didn't deserve this cold harsh world...

Without much care, I soon slammed the door to our shared house open. 

Dingyo's mom looked up from a magazine, "Oh, Hana, Semo-" 

I rushed away, letting Semo go at last as I rushed up, ignoring the startled shout she gave me, and got to my room. 

The moment I entered, I closed the door before collapsing on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. 

Duri Duri Duri, my baby brother. 

Why did you have to die?

Why... 

Why couldn't it be me...? 

Why did it have to be sweet, innocent Duri? Who cared so much for me and the family? Even though Obochi had always looked down on him, only being fair sometimes out of spite, sheer rage that he couldn't save Omoni. Even though Limo had been so cruel to him. Had broken his trust. Dingyo and her incessant chatter at times, it hurt him, yet he endured it. He took Semo's occasional tantrums to himself. He could accept me the way I was....

So why...

Why you, brother? 

I cried. I wailed. 

I knew it couldn't bring Duri back. 

But I needed to cry. 

I would do anything to change places with him...

My eyes then caught something on the desk, and blinked. 

Was that.... A diary?

I vaguely recalled the psychologist saying that I needed to vent out my feelings, so I deduced that this must have been the choice Obochi had taken. 

Deciding to show some appreciation to him, I forced myself up and walked over to my table, barely managing to sit down properly on my chair due to the lack of energy I had. But I forced myself to get the pencil from the holder, open the diary, and thus began to write. 

Hello there. I'm not sure if this is going to be read by anyone, but if it is, then I should introduce myself. 

My name is Cha Hana, pilot to Tobot X, and the leader

I froze.

Leader...? 

What on Earth was I writing? 

I mean, sure, everyone calls me that, but I'm not the leader! 

Our true leader died....

Grabbing my eraser and gaining a whole new bout of energy, I roughly erased the leader part and threw it back to my holder. Only then did I sigh in relief and continue writing. 

and the first Tobot Pilot alongside my

I stopped, rubbing my eyes to let the tears fall freely. My heart felt heavy. My hand stammered, but I still wrote it. 

dead brother, Cha Duri.

I was now on a roll. Unable to stop. I was just writing as much as I could. 

Let me rewind a bit. Duri is my twin brother, younger by ten minutes. Despite that, no one would believe that we were twins after a certain incident which took our mom, Obochi's legs, and Limo's wife alongside Limo's sanity. 

Why?

Because after that incident, he changed. 

None of us know when it actually began. Not even me, and I'm his twin! But... 

But we only found out while our dad had been taken by Ok Diluk, our biggest nemesis then and now. (Seriously, that guy pops up everywhere!)

My brother....

My sweet, innocent, kind, chivalrous brother...

Who was forced to be a person he was not no thanks to Obochi....

Had depression. 

One of the most severe cases seen in Korea, plus a bipolar side.  

The psychologist told us that Duri had to take medicine, both traditional and modern, but when asked if we should tell our dad about it, he declined. Said that he didn't want to burden him...

Oh Duri... Why?

He always thought of himself as a burden. Someone who should have died in the fire instead of Limo's wife.... An expendable person to Obochi, who wouldn't have cared all that much back then.

However, it was this very belief that led him to... 

To his death. 

It happened a year ago. At that time, it was just me, Duri and Semo. We were the main protectors of Daedo City. We had met someone named Kim Nebok, who helped us fight the people threatening our city. Duri had taken a strange liking to him, which should have rung the alarm bells in our minds. 

But it didn't. 

That fateful summer day, he went missing. 

And his partner, Y, attacked Daedo City. 

We had been so shocked, so stunned at first, but I soon called for a retreat. That was clearly relief for X, who was brothers with Y. 

Over the year, we fought Y and the others. We gained new friends. We fought, we cried, we lost, we won. 

And eventually, we beat Acnee. 

She disappeared with Y and her other creations.

After that, it was fight after fight. Villain after villain... But we always managed to win. All the while, I searched for my brother.... Praying everyday at church that he was alive. Praying every single morning to the Lord that he was safe and sound.

Until....

Until his body was washed up on shore a week after Y showed up out of nowhere to attack us once more.

Nokwon found the body. He had been out in his town when it was found....

A few hours later, we were told that he had died from drowning.

And that....

That finally broke the dam for me.

I broke down crying.

Limo soon joined me.

When Obochi tried to talk me out of it, I...

I snapped at him.

Shouted the truth to his face.

To everyone.....

That changed everything.

From then on, we were never the same. Going to therapy together. Staying in the same house. Even Suho and his dad came. Even Ogong and Ondol did.

We were all grieving

"Hana!" Semo poked his head in, making me turn to him as he came in, rubbing a towel over his horribly wet hair.

"What's up, Semo?" I greeted him, closing the book and putting the pencil back.

"Nothing much. You feeling better? I heard Gyusu-sshi bought it for you."

Ah, so it wasn't Obochi.

Of course. He was still in denial. Always has been.

Obochi, you cruel person.

Even if you gave birth to us, I can't forgive you.

"Yeah, I vented a bit there."

"Great!" Semo's grin nearly made me faint of amazement, internally wondering how the Lord managed to create such an amazing person. "Anyway, I'm going out for groceries. You in?"

"Sure!" I stretched a bit while getting up. I did need some fresh air anyway.

"Daebak!"

That is what led us to the grocery store together. We didn't really talk, because we were kinda awkward talking outside of school and Tobot duties. We used to have a person who could help both of us, but we lost him that horrible day.

So we didn't engage in small chitchat, only doing so to confirm the groceries, and so we were soon on our way home.

It was there that things moved forward, ever since his death.

None of us had noticed the car as it swerved into the alley, but the next thing we knew, we were grabbed and dragged into the grey van. The door closed behind us as a masked figure twice Semo's height held us in place.

"HEY! LET US GO!" I demanded angrily, trying to kick the masked figure back. However, they dodged and knocked me down before using their feet to send Semo sprawling to the floor as well.

"Who are you?!" Z's pilot still managed to hiss out, only to be replied with silence. Utterly infuriating silence.

"Just watch," the masked figure spoke as they pulled us to our knees, making sure that we could see the screen in front of us, and proceeding to press a button.

What we saw...

Froze our blood vessels.

Why?

Because....

The video played just as Kim Nebok let go of Duri's hand, letting him fall into the cold, harsh ocean.

My blood went cold, only to be replaced by a rage. A boiling hot rage. That Nebok...! Duri trusted him, and yet... HE THREW HIM INTO THE SEA?!

"KIM NEBOK!" I screamed, not only in anger, but also in sorrow. Because of him, my TWIN is DEAD! HE KILLED HIM! It hurt me so much.... Knowing that my brother had been betrayed in his last moments.... It broke me.... It hurt me so much-

"No... NOOOOOOO!!!!!" 

That sudden shout shocked me so much I nearly got whiplash looking back at the video to see a teary Nebok as he punched the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. 

Then, it switched. 

To a pool of sorts. 

Semo and I shared a glance of confusion. What was so special about this pool? What on Earth? Why was this video showing this? What was this-

Wait ....

Is that someone swimming upwards-

My eyes widened the moment they saw the person who broke through the water.

Duri?!

Indeed, it appeared to be my twin brother, my little sunshine.....

Cha Duri, in all his crazily wet glory. 

Wet, shivering from the cold, but still alive.

You could have sworn our eyes nearly fell from their sockets as he swam to the side and groggily pulled himself up. His hands automatically went to hug his body, searching for some, any warmth, clearly oblivious to our disbelief upon looking at the time.

It was after the time when Nebok let him fall.....

So my brother survived?

But if he did, why didn't he come back? 

Why didn't he tell us the truth?

Why did he choose to die?

"Brrr, remind me to get to a fireplace once I get the chance," he mumbled as he tried to dry his scarf. After some failures, though, he looked at it for a while before sighing and tying it around his yellow shirt, "Meanne, Omoni." 

I winced, understanding what my brother meant. That scarf had been knitted by our mom. Her only handicraft aside from a pair of gloves I kept in my room, only used in winter, before she passed on. Duri treasured it a lot, wearing it around to hide himself from the world... The cold, harsh one he lived in. The one that couldn't accept mental illnesses...

"I need to find a way out of this place... And then I have to find Nebok-hyung... He... He's not the kind of person to do this.... I know that..." 

Oh. My. God. 

My heart just melted hearing that.

Even after all the pain he was forced through, my brother could still see the goodness in him? 

Gosh, THIS is why I love him. 

His purity, his chivalry...

My heart was practically steaming with love and respect to him as he got up, eyes showing determination before he stumbled away, still freezing, but warmed by perseverance. 

His journey soon took him to a room labelled Janitors, which I could only assume as the janitors' locker room, because after he went in, he came out in a different outfit: a green jacket, white shirt inside, and a pair of dark blue jeans to cover his new blue sneakers. 

Semo whistled slightly, "Wow, Duri has great taste in clothing." 

I sweatdropped, "Most probably it was the only thing available." 

My statement was my guess from the briefly oversized outfit that made me believe that it could have swallowed Duri to become a little fluff ball and we would be none the wiser. It just made him look so cute and small!

"I should probably investigate this place," he mumbled, bringing us back to attention just to see him cover his head with a dark blue cap, similar to the one Obochi and Limo owned, before he set off. 

After that, we saw him enter a huge study of sorts. It looked really antique, with books aligned almost aesthetically on the tons of shelves around. I think Duri would love it there. 

However, my guess was proven wrong when his eyes narrowed upon noticing a row filled with files. Since the camera had been placed on a table of sorts, we could see him take the file carefully. 

"Cha... Hana?..." I saw his eyes grow wide after he opened the file, nearly dropping it in the process. "Why is Oppa's file here?..." 

He then looked up, scanning the files the shelves had, shaking even more with every file, "Cha Duri... Cha Do-un.... Kwon Semo... Kwon Limo.... Ju Dingyo.... Dokgo Ogong... Dokgo Ondol.... Noh Gyusu.... My God... Acnee has all of our files... Even.... Our medical files..." 

At that, Semo yelped, "WHAT?!" 

I was frozen in shock and disbelief. Acnee... Had everything? But how? And why? 

Then, a familiar shout made him stiffen, "Hey you! What are you doing here?!" 

He didn't seem to hesitate, knowing what to do.

That's how Duri ran. 

The video was cut short there, just as the car stopped. The masked figure then pushed us out gently. 

A deep voice rumbled out, "Your brother stumbled into a horrifying conspiracy, so watch yourselves." 

Then, the door closed, and the van zoomed away, leaving us there, lost, confused, and stunned. 

That video...

What on Earth...? 

A few minutes later, we returned home, still shell shocked when Dingyo found us.

"Guys, where were you?!" She chastised us, putting her hands on her hips in annoyance.

"Well..." Semo and I shared a glance. Should we tell her? She was grieving just as much as we were....

Ring!

"Hana! Semo! Dingyo!" Limo's face popped up on our watches. "There's been another attack at the square! Head off there!"

"Alright then!" Well, looks like we'll have to tell her later on.

With no time to waste, the three of us headed in, sliding into the base and rushing to our cars.

"X, you okay with this battle?" I asked him as I slid into my seat.

"I am, Hana."

"Alright then. Just remember to tell me when you want to pull out."

"Hana, I trust you to know."

At that, my heart ached again. I knew X saw me as the leader too, but.... Duri was the true leader.

"Hana?"

"... Let's just go..."

"Very well."

And soon, we were off.

We met the others a few meters away from the square. Ogong had dropped Ondol off at home, while Suho had his dad with him. Nokwon and Pyodol-sshi joined us soon with Limo close by.

We were all ready to fight.

And indeed the fight was going to be hard.

Because our opponent.....

Is Y.

"Tobots! X/Z/D! Integrate!"

Within seconds, Deltatron stood tall in front of us, followed by K, C, V, W, and T. Zero stood to the side, blocking the civilians from the battlefield.

R soon arrived, with Obochi at his helm, "The battle against Y has not yet gone underway! Thankfully I am not late!"

"I'm sorry guys," Obochi flew beside Limo and touched down there. "I was busy with something." 

You're always busy with something, I bitterly corrected. You were horrible to Duri. Look how that ended.

"Hana?" Nokwon's voice brought me back to reality as I noticed everyone looking at me, clearly looking up to me as the leader. 

I inhaled. After what Semo and I had been shown, it was clear. 

I had to find out how my brother died. 

And right now, Y was in the way. 

"Guys, we're going full force. No regrets." 

"W-WHAT?!" Semo and Dingyo both stared at me, disbelief in their eyes. 

"You're kidding me right?...." Suho was pale now. 

"You're asking us to... To potentially destroy him?!" There was a bitter rage behind Limo's tone. 

"Did I stutter?" I turned to them. "I have something I need, no, HAVE to do after this. Even if Y is- WAS Duri's partner before, I am sure that he would have wanted us to defeat Y once and for all. We can still salvage him if we beat him." 

"But-" 

"I don't want to hear it, Obochi," I interrupted him. "We've been holding back out of fear. This ends now." 

Everyone looked at each other, eyes conveying their hesitation. 

"How can we?" Dingyo asked me. "We-" 

"Dingyo.... I was his twin. I knew more about him than anyone. And the Duri I know.... Would never forgive me for not trying to bring Y back. So we're doing it. We're going to bring Y back. At all costs." 

My heart was on fire now. I knew Duri. And he would be crying if I didn't avenge him! 

".... Alright then," Semo gave a determined grin, having a fire as well. "Let's do this!" 

Seeing my perseverance must have triggered the others, because they all nodded, signifying their agreement. 

I was not going to let my brother down. Not after everything he's done for me. 

"Alright! DELTATRON!" 

"T!" 

"K/V/R/C/W/Zero!" 

We charged up our attacks, and threw them at Y without any mercy. We were all using our strongest attacks, blocking his own using strength. The fire in our hearts were now a united bonfire, dancing wonderfully under the bright sun as he was sent back again and again...

Until he collapsed. 

A grin was spread across my face. Duri, I hope you're proud of me up there. 

The rest cheered as Y lay sprawled on the ground. We have finally stopped him-

"WEAKLING!" 

That voice....

The fire was extinguished just as fast as it was created as we saw something- no, someONE, drop from a short building. 

My breath hitched. I RECOGNISED him. 

And yet...

I couldn't believe it at the same time. 

I could hear Semo's gasp, Dingyo's terrified yelp, Obochi's stuttering, and Limo's shocked choke. 

We ALL did. 

"D-Duri?...." I spoke up, stepping forward, trying to convince myself that this wasn't my brother. This wasn't my sweet, caring brother... This was just a stupid carbon copy, wearing the same clothes he had used when he was found. His precious yellow scarf, his yellow shirt from Obochi's younger days, his beige jeans, and brown boots. This was all just a fake. 

But...

"Yes, Hana?" 

My heart froze with that statement. 

Duri's FAÇADE would say that. His body language, his looks, he even SOUNDED like him. 

I could feel my feelings go numb. 

"W-What are you doing? W-Why are you insulting Y?" I finally managed to choke out, trying to control myself. 

"Heh, as if you would care," he rolled his eyes, adjusting his red scarf as if to make me feel even worse. "You just cared for Obochi's love towards you." 

"N-No! W-Why would you say that?!" 

"Because it's the truth. No one ever cared for me. Until Nebok came along. He led me to my TRUE family. The family who loves me." 

"What family?!" I demanded. "Nebok killed you!" 

He scoffed, harsh caramel eyes staring into mine, "He didn't. He SAVED me from the drowning, then offered for me to be given a chance to change for the better. Away from you all. All you ever did was hurt me. Obochi never loved me, seeing me as a reminder of Limo, Limo went dark, Dingyo was a brat who only cared for Semo and you, Semo only liked you, and you... You always looked at me the way one would look at a third wheel. After Omoni died, you all changed. You moved on." 

"T-that's not true!" Limo sobbed, going to his knees. "W-We were all scarred-" 

"Then tell me why I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO GOT DEPRESSION!" his tone had turned into a vicious snarl. "Why I WAS THE NEGLECTED ONE?! WHY ALL YOU THOUGHT I COULD DO WAS TO MESS UP, HURT PEOPLE?! WHY DID YOU EVER MAKE ME FEEL THAT WAY?! DON'T YOU KNOW THAT I ALWAYS BELIEVED THAT I WAS THE REASON YOU WENT TO THE DARK SIDE?! THAT I DESERVED EVERYTHING I GOT?! YOU ALL MADE ME FEEL THAT WAY! HOW CAN YOU EVEN CALL YOURSELVES MY FRIENDS?! YOU ALL JUST HATED ME SO MUCH, BUT TRIED TO HIDE IT BY DEFENDING YOURSELVES! HA, HOW PATHETIC!" 

THAT did it. 

Obochi was now crying freely, while Limo was curled up into a ball. Dingyo was on her knees as well, begging for forgiveness, and Semo and Suho were sobbing uncontrollably. 

And me? 

All I did was stand there....

I couldn't feel anything anymore...

"Hmph, weak as ever, I see," Duri rolled his eyes icily. "Gosh, what did I ever see in you? Y, it's time to head back." 

Y only replied by changing back to a car, and he leisurely walked back, back turned against us. 

"W-WAIT!" As a last-ditch effort, I lunged forward and grabbed his hand, praying that it was an android or something....

But instead....

I felt warmth. 

He felt so warm. His skin wasn't cold.... It wasn't hard... It was soft. 

"Let go of me!" he roughly pushed me to the ground before turning back and walking away from us... No, from me...

And all I could do was cry and sob over there...

Some things should have been left unknown.....

My baby brother was alive... On the opposite side...

Yet...

A part of me was screaming that he wasn't my brother...

But if he isn't my brother.... 

Then is my brother alive? 

And if so... 

Where is he?

*

누

구

?

*

NUGU - Who?

"No..." I nearly crushed my bottle to pieces as I watched behind some bystanders of the fight shortly after the battle had ended. "Acnee.... She was one step ahead of me.... I have to stop her... No matter what.... Or else Daedo will be in danger...." 

I can't let her win. She... She killed Omoni and Limo-sshi's wife.....

With that, I spun away from the crowd, ready to head back home, when I found myself face to face with someone I never thought I would see in a million years. 

My caramel eyes met his navy blue ones, and we were both stunned into silence. 

The alley we were both in seemed to speak volumes of our changes. My glasses nearly fell off, and his cap nearly fell off his head. 

I was so shocked. This was... This was....

"Nebok-hyung?" 

"Duri?"