ANDREW

There are no words which describe the way I felt this morning when I woke up with Alyssa in my arms. It was a moment which I had dreamed about, and I had never thought it would happen, not after the way I had treated her and the way I had spoken to her like she was nothing other than a piece of shit on the bottom of my shoe, but she gave me a chance and I have shown her just how much she really did mean to me.

I didn't sleep with her because of some stupid bet I made with my brother, a bet which I will come to regret for the rest of my life, especially when Alyssa discovers the truth, but I slept with her because that's what I wanted and it was something I had wanted for some time now—in the beginning, it was just about the bet and proving that I could get any girl in bed, but then it turned into something more and I wanted her for myself because she was the woman who had changed.

Alyssa Lopez was the reason for so much right in my life right now. She was the reason I no longer drank in the morning, and I only drank in the evening if I was in a casual meeting with a client, and she was also the reason that I had cut down on my smoking because she was the reason I wanted to keep living for just a little bit longer. She was the reason I got out of bed in the mornings and she was the reason that I was a better person that I ever had been with Rebecca.

I was, strangely, nervous about tonight because I still didn't know whether she was actually going to come or whether she was just going to let me down because she had second thoughts about what happened last night. I had hoped that she would come, because I would love for her to meet my sister and my niece, she would love the both of them immediately.

But the choice remained with her and I could only hope that she gave me another chance to prove I wasn't the same jerk I had been five months' ago. I wanted to be the man that she wanted, I didn't want to be the man she grew to despise and I didn't want to be the man who ruined everything for her again, I just wanted her to be there for me and I wanted her to fall for me in the same way I had fallen for her.

"Come here, Andrew. You are an absolute mess," my mother's voice brought me out of my panicked state of mind.

"It's fine, mother," I pulled her hands away from my tie, even though I knew it wasn't fine, not when it was loosely hung and disappearing somewhere to the side, but it was pointless allowing her to sort it out for me because my nerves would only get the better of me again and I would ruin it when I didn't know what to do with my hands.

I really didn't understand the feelings which I had for Alyssa, the way I felt about Rebecca was nothing compared to this, but I did know that I wanted her and I wanted her to be my girlfriend. I didn't want her to be some bit on the side that I would fuck every so often, I actually wanted her to be a part of my life, and I knew I was going to lose that the moment she discovered the truth about the bet and assumed that's the only reason I had slept with her last night—she would even go as far as assuming the bet was my sole reason for pursuing her all this time as well.

"This, Andrew, is not fine. Now, let me sort it out for you," I knew that my mother wasn't going to give up in a hurry and so I allowed her the satisfaction of sorting my tie out for me, before she walked over to where Darren was now sitting with his sister, and engaged in conversation with the pair of them about something which would probably hold no interest to me whatsoever.

I actually found myself staring at the door, as well constantly checking the time, wondering when she was going to walk through it and what she was going to be wearing. Though, honestly, she could turn up in a bin liner and still look stunning, and I would still take her back to my place with the intention of making love to her all night long.

Last night was truly amazing. Darren may have been reluctant to help me out in the first place, because he was still under the illusion that he was going to get back with Alyssa, but I managed to convince him in the end. I may have emotionally blackmailed him into helping me, asking if he wanted to make Alyssa happy, and that did the trick because he was only too happy to help me after that conversation.

I could see the hurt and the pain in his eyes when he had seen Alyssa and I together. The way that he looked at her last night, I knew that he still had feelings for her and I even know that he regretted what he did to her, because it meant that he had lost the best thing to have happened to him and now she only wanted to be friends with him. He had never been smitten with a girl before, they had always been the same to him, but Alyssa was different and he actually did care about her.

And, as sorry as I felt for my baby brother, I wasn't going to put a stop to my plans just because he was still feeling a little heartbroken. He would get over her in the end and he would find someone better for him that Alyssa ever could have been and, when he finds that perfect girl just for him who makes him feel things which he shall never understand, he will be wondering why the hell he allowed Alyssa to have such a massive impact upon his life.

"Surprised to see that you made it, Andy. I thought that you would be passed out on your office floor, or somewhere less hygienic," Ben couldn't keep the sarcasm from his tone as he took the empty seat beside me.

"And why would you care if I was? You haven't given a damn for the last three months," I wasn't interested in what Ben had to say because him, and my overly huge ego as well as my inability to turn down a challenge, were the reason I was where I was right now. Wondering how the hell I was supposed to tell Alyssa that I had made a bet to sleep with her, while also convincing her that the bet had nothing to do with the events which transpired last night.

"I hear you now dating Darren's sloppy seconds. How is she?" I didn't even need to bother turning so that I could look at him because I could hear the smugness in his tone.

"He was a fool to treat her the way that he did, and we aren't dating, it was just one night out," I shrugged. He didn't need to know that his words that had gotten to me, because then he would start asking questions, and I refused to answer anything he had to say about Alyssa. I was an idiot to use her in our games, but Ben was an even bigger idiot for dragging her into our childish behaviour in the first place.

"At least Darren fucked her because he wanted to do so, while you shall only fuck her because you made a bet that you were able to," I turned to look at him and I wanted to wipe that arrogant smirk off his face, but I knew that our mother would never allow it, and Ben would only make me out to be the bad guy in front of everyone else, and that was something I didn't want to be dealing with today.

"If this about the company, Ben, then I will give it to you right now and I will walk away from everything. Just leave Alyssa the bloody hell out of this," I found myself saying and I wondered when the hell I started caring about as much as I did right now. I didn't want to hurt the person who had put me back together without even realising she had done so, I didn't want to piss off the one person who had shown me it was possible for me to love another without even trying, and I sure as hell didn't want to cause pain to the woman I had fallen in love with.

I didn't want some selfish bet getting in the way of what we could have but, with my older brother on the scene, that was never going to happen and he was going to do something which would completely jeopardise the life we could have together. The bet was always going to sneak back up on me to bite me in the ass and Ben was, obviously, going to be there to witness it when that happened.

"Too late, little brother, Alyssa is very much involved," Ben grinned as he stood up and went to walk away, though he quickly turned and walked back over to me with a smug smirk on his face, whispering, "I wonder how Miss Lopez will feel if she were to discover that she was nothing more than an easy fuck for you to be able to prove a point. I doubt that she will ever look at you the same."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I asked angrily. Tonight was meant to be about our family, nothing else, and Ben was planning something to ruin everything.

"Well, you know what they say—" Ben chuckled as he paused for dramatic effect, and even walked away from me, turning to look back of his shoulder, "—no family dinner is ever really complete without some drama."

Of all the places Ben could make his point, and bring me down at the same time, he had to pick the one day our mother had worked really hard to put together and making sure everything was perfect for both families. He was going to make me suffer over dinner while the entire family was there to witness what an idiot I had been, and I already knew that Darren would be first in line to murder me, given that making a bet to sleep with Alyssa made me as bad as Darren using her to get his revenge on me.

And, when Darren was done with me, my mother would bring me back to life, simply so that she could murder me all over again for making her believe that I had actually changed when, in reality, I was still the same idiot of a son who appeared back in her life five months' ago. Then, when I was dead and buried, Alyssa would be the one dancing on my grave for leading her on and using her in one of the worst ways possible.

I shivered at the thought of Alyssa hating me that much and then everything hit me like a tonne of bricks. I was going to be the reason Alyssa ended up hurt, again, and my stupid self-centred older brother was going to enjoy being the reason that I was dead before the end of dinner this evening.

"Are you alright, brother? You look a little frustrated," Andrea's soft voice almost made all of that pain disappear.

Andrea McDonald, at the age of twenty-six, was as beautiful as she always had been, even as a young child she was blessed with looks and it irked Dylan that males would openly stare at his girlfriend and, even now they are married and Andrea loves Dylan, he still gets pissed when people openly check his wife out. It was still strange to know that she was only two weeks younger than Darren, not that I hadn't gotten used to that fact now, but it was still a little weird to know that I had two siblings who were born a mere two weeks apart from each other.

She was on the tall side, standing at five foot eleven, and she had inherited our mother's blue eyes which had only gotten more obvious with her age and I actually envied her eyes because I loved them (which sounds weird when I am speaking about my own sister, but her eyes are amazing, and I wished that I had the same colour blue as she did). And her husband, usually when he was bragging to his friends or just when he wanted to piss me off, would go on about how amazing her figure was—which usually ended up with me punching him somewhere because he constantly felt the need to discuss his sex life with my sister at every opportunity he got.

"Me? Yeah. I am always fine, I am just worried about how this evening is going to go," I smiled at her. I wasn't lying, I was worried about how this evening was going to go, but I wasn't entirely truthful, because I was about to become the most hated person in my family because of a stupid mistake which I made and was unable to go back on. I didn't want to talk about it though because I didn't want my baby sister to hate me, and so I cleverly changed the topic to something other than what I was worried about specifically. "Where are Scarlett and Dylan?"

"Scarlett is getting to know her Uncle Darren and Aunt Lily, and Dylan couldn't make it because he is busy with some overseas account which has gone wrong, but he sends his regards and apologises for being unable to attend," Andrea replied.

I remember when Andrea told us for the first time that she was dating Dylan, I wasn't surprised that it had happened, no one was surprised that it had happened, but that didn't mean I was necessarily happy for her either. Ben was barely around when she was growing up, because there was always someone who needed help and he saw it as his mission in life to help people, and she didn't have a father because he turned out to be a lying, cheating piece of shit. And I saw it as my job to be the male role model in her life, which meant I was also a dick to her when she was growing up, not always for the wrong reasons, but she never saw that when she was younger and thought that I was trying to control her.

Ben, obviously, when he discovered that Andrea and Dylan were together, he was happy for our baby sister because he could see that she was happy as well. I, on the other hand, wasn't so happy because I didn't really want to admit that my sister wasn't a baby anymore and she was growing up, which meant that she had to make her own decisions and she didn't need me to make them for her—I was, at the time, the big bad wolf who was blowing her house down, but I saw it as my role to protect her and keep her safe from the evils of the world.

Ten years down the line, they are still going strong and are more than happily married to each other, with Scarlett to complete their perfect little family. Dylan owns his own company, I can never actually remember which department he works in, but I know that it involves International Relations and he is often in some country other than America to deal with his business.

That doesn't mean that he forgets about his wife and daughter though. If he can, he will take the both of them with him until he has finished his business, and they often end up spending three or four weeks in some foreign country while Dylan gets on with his job—it was the reason Scarlett was being home-schooled, her teacher would travel with them as well, just to make sure she didn't miss out on anything and to also ensure that they remained together as a family without the risk of them drifting apart.

"Shame. I was so excited to see him again," I chuckled.

"Don't lie, And. Every single time you two in the same room together, something happens, and it almost always ends in violence," Andrea raised her eyebrow at me when she said that because she genuinely thinks that I hate her husband, which is bullshit because I love Dylan like he is my brother, but she never believes me when I tell her that and she always does her best to keep the both of us apart because she thinks I am planning to kill him.

"He shouldn't tell me about his sex life with you then, should he?" I shrugged. She was about to open her mouth to reply, but the door of the restaurant closing effectively put an end to her sentence, and the person who was standing there was a sight to behold. Alyssa looked even more stunning this afternoon compared to what she did last night and, given that she was totally fucking gorgeous last night in her choice of dress, I didn't think it was possible for her to look any more beautiful.

"Sorry. This—"

"You came," I breathed out when I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her into my chest so that I could put a kiss on the top of her head, ignoring the stares which I was getting from the rest of my family and ignoring the nagging voice in the back of my mind which was telling me that this was the last time I was going to be able to do this for a while. "You look so beautiful."

I didn't miss the blush which covered her cheeks once I had pushed her away so that could get a proper look at the outfit which she was wearing. She had opted for a knee-length royal blue dress with an open back and a black belt around the middle, the neckline plunging enough to show a slight cleavage, but it was still enough to send my mind into overdrive and more than enough for me to remember how she looked last night when she was writing beneath me with her breasts pressed against my chest.

"Robert helped me pick out. I wasn't sure what to go for, so I asked him for his advice, and this is what he recommended for me," Alyssa smiled. I loved that Robert had been there for her when I was an asshole to her and I appreciated that he kept her going, and that he was there for her when she had no one, because he was the reason that she was still fighting and I am sure that he was going to be there for her too when she realised what I had done behind her back.

"Sometimes, I wonder if that man secretly dresses up in women's clothes, because he has impeccable taste," I found myself laughing. I loved Robert like another brother, I loved him even more than I love my actual brother, but he was the one who had always been there for me and he was the one who actually pushed to be my friend when everyone else gave up on me and decided that I was good enough for happiness.

He was my driver when we were at work, but he told me that he wanted to see himself as more than just my driver, that he wanted to see himself as the person to whom I could turn when I didn't want to speak to my family. He actually wanted to help me, to be there for me when I was alone, and I would never be able to thank him enough for all the things he had done for me over the years.

I have shared more than enough of my problems with Robert and I think that he know me better than my entire family put together, with perhaps the exception of Andrea, because she knows me pretty damn well too and it scares me sometimes just how well she does know me. But, even when I was a dick to him and nothing short of critical about the things he was doing, he refused to leave my side and he stood by me when I didn't even believe I deserved him to do so. He has been my friend for almost four years now and he still the only person who dares to tell me when I am pissing him off.

He was the one who told me that I needed to man the fuck up and ask Alyssa on a date, before she ended up someone else's arms other than my own. He had even told me how unimpressed he was with the fact I had made a bet which involved her and, when the time came for her to know the truth that I shouldn't be surprised if she never wishes to see or speak to me again—he even threatened me with death if I ever dared hurt her.

I was more than a little terrified of Robert, not that I would ever actually admit that to him, because I knew he had the ability to make me suffer if it was needed and I also knew that he wouldn't hesitate in making me suffer if it was required. Hence the reason I was so bloody nervous about tonight and, knowing that Ben was going to say to something about my immaturity, it was going to shatter the perfect bubble which we had around us right now.

"Alyssa, this is my sister, Andrea McDonald. Andrea, this is my date, Alyssa Lopez," I introduced the both of them to each other. I didn't know how I was supposed to introduce Alyssa to my sister, because she wasn't my girlfriend, but she was so much more than just my assistant, especially after we slept with each other last night. Date seemed like the safe option, and Alyssa didn't seem to mind either as she smiled at my sister.

"Ah. You are the infamous Alyssa I have heard so much about and who had managed to tame my brother," Andrea grinned as she pulled Alyssa into a hug. I had spoken to Andrea a couple of times over the phone while she had been in America, and I had mentioned to her about Alyssa, because she was the one who told me that I was in love with her and she was also the one who told me that I should pursue her; Andrea couldn't have been happier when I told he that I had another woman in my life after everything Rebecca had put me through.

"You make me sound like some sort of zoo animal," I muttered with my arm around Alyssa's waist and my hand was gripping lightly at her hip while her hand sat at the bottom of my back, her thumb lopped through one of my belt holes.

"I would like to think that he's under control and does what I tell him to do," Alyssa smirked back at my sister. I didn't even want to think about the fact I was going to lose her before the end of tonight because, honestly, it was going to break me what that happened and I don't know what the hell I was going to do with myself.

"It is about time that someone put a leash on him. He has been allowed to run wild for too long now," Andrea grinned happily.

"I am pretty sure that this is some sort of bullying," I found myself looking between Andrea and Alyssa, two people who had known each other for all of five minutes, and I could already tell that the two of them were a recipe for disaster. I didn't want to consider all the things which the two of them could get up to if they were left alone together, but I was going to have to warn Dylan to watch his back because his wife had a new partner in crime who had the ability to make him suffer.

"Pretty sure you love it," Andrea said with a smug look on her which could rival even that of Ben, "you have to meet my daughter, Alyssa. If she approves of you, then there will be no problems with you dating her favourite uncle."

"From the looks of things, I think I may have been demoted, and she might just have a new favourite now," I laughed as I watched Darren and Scarlett interacting with each other. She was sitting on his lap, playing with his tie as she recounted some story to him about something she had done, and he was smiling at her while nodding along with whatever it was she was telling him. For a man who was instant that he was never going to have children because he hated them, he was doing a pretty good job of not hating her.

"I shall come over in a moment. I just need to speak with Andrew quickly," Alyssa waved her off and Andrea nodded as she walked over to Darren with a smile on her face, "so, my stubborn sister has finally allowed me to see Ella on Wednesday night and I have also convinced her that Ella should spend the night, especially since I know that she goes out on a Wednesday night with—"

"Is this going somewhere other than you telling me the life story of my ex-fiancée?" I didn't give a damn about Rebecca and what did with her Wednesday nights, all I really gave a damn about was my daughter and whether I was ever going to be able to finally meet her after three years of not knowing anything about her, other than what Alyssa had already told me.

"Yeah. Bec said that you can meet her," Alyssa grinned proudly and I was speechless. Rebecca hadn't allowed Alyssa anywhere near her own niece for god knows how long, and she hadn't even told me that she had given birth to my child, but now she was allowing Alyssa to watch her daughter overnight and she was actually giving me the chance to meet my little girl for the first time—I was actually having to hold back the tears from how emotional I felt at the prospect of finally being able to meet Ella and tell her that I am her father.

"Are you being fucking serious?" I couldn't hide the grin which now covered my entire face and I couldn't even keep the excitement at bay because I would finally be able to see myself what Alyssa had spoken about when she told me things of my daughter.

"Honest. But—"

"There's always a fucking but where your sister is concerned," I muttered. I should have known that Rebecca was going to put some stupid clause on me meeting her, and I also knew that I was going to hate it, simply because it was her who had come up with it in the first place.

"—But you aren't allowed to tell her that you're her father. As far as Ella is concerned, you are my friend, and that's all you are," Alyssa sighed regretfully and, as soon as those words left her mouth, it hurt to know that Rebecca was actually preventing me from doing the one thing which I had always wanted to do, she was stopping from being the father I had always wanted to be to my little girl. "I know it's not fair, and I even tried to argue for you that you should be allowed to tell Ella who you really are, but Bec wasn't having any of it. But, on the bright side, you are finally going to meet your daughter."

"I don't know how to thank you for doing this for me," I just about managed to smile at her, but even I knew that it didn't quite reach my eyes, not because I wasn't grateful that she had done this for me, but because I knew it was never going to be the same once she knew the truth and she was probably never going to want to speak to me again, let alone let me anywhere my daughter.

I knew that Alyssa could read me like a book and that she was going to know that something was wrong, and I didn't even have to tell her that there was something wrong, because she knew and she would ask me when she knew that I would tell her what the problem was. But this wasn't something which I could tell her and that wasn't something which could be fixed with a few words or even by talking, this was something which was going to take months, perhaps even years, to actually fix.

"I could think of one way in which you could thank me," she smirked as she brought her lips to my own, her fingers getting lost in my hair, while my hands gripped tightly at her waist. It was impossible to stop my hands from wandering over her body, especially when I knew what lay beneath her dress and how to please her, but I managed because of the company which we were in, "but perhaps we should save that for later, when no one else can see us."

I was amazed with how quickly she could compost herself after such an intense kiss. Her cheeks were flushed and I could hear that she was a little out of breath, but she was stood there, as though she had done nothing to either me or herself. And I wished that I had that much control over my own emotions, because then I wouldn't feel the way that I did half the time whenever she was around.

"Are you going to introduce me to your niece then and see if she approves of me?"

"Scarlett is easily impressed, so I don't really think there is anything for you to worry about," I smiled. I knew that my niece would love Alyssa, because it was impossible not to love her the moment you met her, she just had that effect on you and it was amazing how she could make anyone smile with the simplest of words or actions.

There was that voice in my head, the one which was reminding me that I had made a bet and then slept with her last night, which just needed to shut the hell up and stop reminding me of the one thing which I had been unable to forget. I already knew that this happiness could only last for so long, because things never go right for me and there is always something, or in this case, someone, waiting to fuck it all up for me.

I didn't miss the way Ben moved across the room, stepping in between us just as we were about to reach Andrea and Darren, and I could tell from the smug look that he wasn't going to keep his mouth shut and this is the moment where he was going to tell Alyssa the truth. This is where he was going to tell her that I was only going to sleep with her because of a bet which we had together, and that was going to make her feel like shit, it was also going to make her feel worthless because she was going to believe my idiot brother over anything I told her.

It was right now that I was cursing my damn ego. I never could refuse a challenge, even when I was younger, I had never been able to turn down a challenge, even when I knew that challenge meant that someone was going to get hurt at the end of it. I would still agree to it and I would do everything to make sure I succeed in my task, but that genuinely wasn't the case here, only it was too late for those thoughts now and I was going to have to deal with whatever the outcome of this happened to be.

"Alyssa. How have you been?" Ben asked her with an overly excitable happiness as he embraced her in one of the smuggest hugs I had ever seen a man give.

"Up and down, you know how life can be. And yourself, Benjamin?" Alyssa giggled at the use of his full name. Her fingers were still interlocked with my own while my attention was solely on Ben, and I could feel my jaw tensing with my teeth gritting together, simply to force the anger out of my system, but it wasn't enough to prevent me from wanting to punch my own brother in the face.

"Challenging, I guess. I am constantly trying to overachieve, but you can bet that I will always get what I want in the end," he chuckled and I knew that he had deliberately picked his words. I didn't even want to think about just how long he had been planning this for and how long he had had this entire conversation planned out in his mind for. "You and Andrew then?"

"What about us?" Alyssa shrugged.

"You certainly have tamed him. He is a totally different person these days, and I would guess that's down to you," Ben remarked. I knew that I needed to say something, but there was nothing which could be said, because there were no words which were going to save this situation which was quickly going to a place I didn't want it to go.

"I didn't do anything besides be myself," Alyssa told him honestly.

"Slept with him already? Andrew has always been one for getting women into bed by the end of the first date," Ben smirked. I could feel my anger growing and it was beginning to consume me, to the point that the hand which wasn't hold onto Alyssa's hand, was clenched into a tight fist, prepared to throw the punch which I was desperate to put into Ben's face any moment.

"No. He dropped me off home and that all that happened," Alyssa replied and, for some reason, that actually hurt to hear her say those words. I don't know why it hurt, but it was like a huge kick in the gut, hearing her say that nothing had happened between the two of us when last night was one of the best nights of my life.

"That's a shame. I thought that he would have one our little bet by now," Ben faked a grimace, "oh, shit, I wasn't supposed to mention that. Please, forget I said anything."

Ben has always been an amazing actor, hardly surprising since he got an A* in it at GCSE and then passed with an A at A Level, before going on to study it further at college, not that he ever did anything with it, but he was an amazing actor and he could make anyone believe anything he wanted them to believe. I, personally, think that Ben deserves an Oscar for the performances which he managed to pull off at times—even when we were kids, he would always blame me for things which went wrong, and all he needed to do was start crying for people to believe what he was telling them.

I wasn't sure what my relationship with Ben was, I didn't even know where the hell I stood with my own brother now, but there was a time when I really did love him because he was there for me when no one else had been there for me. He had tried his best to keep me together, but there were times where I hated that he was my brother, and I wanted nothing more than see his head on pike somewhere.

"Bet? What bet is he talking about, Andrew?" Alyssa was almost in tears as she looked at me and I could feel my heart breaking because I was the one who had done this to her, I was the one who had hurt her again, and this is the reason why I was never going to be good enough for and the reason that I was never going to be allowed any happiness of my own.

"Andrew? What is Ben talking about?" Andrea joined in with the questioning. I was going to make her see me in a whole other light and she was never going to look at me the same again when she heard what I had done.

"I don't know," I mumbled.

"Don't fucking lie to me, Andrew, I have had enough of people lying to me. What fucking bet is he talking about?" Alyssa shouted angrily. Of course, everyone's attention was now on Alyssa and my entire family was wondering what the hell was going on, and why the hell Alyssa was pissed with me.

"I don—"

"I said—" Alyssa paused as she took a deep breath, her eyes boring into me with nothing besides anger, and I could tell that she was going to lose her temper big time if I didn't tell her what she wanted to know, but I didn't know how the fuck I was going to explain this to her and how I was going to make her understand that it wasn't what it seemed, "—Don't. Fucking. Lie. To. Me."

"Andrew, son, what is he talking about? What bet did you make?" my mother asked as she looked between myself and Ben with a sheer look on confusion on her face.

"I could always tel—"

"You can keep your fucking mouth shut, that's what you can do," I shouted as I finally put my fist straight into Ben's face, the force of the hit knocking him back slightly, which was something he found amusing since he just held his cheek and burst out laughing.

"Meet the real Andrew Jacob Collins, Alyssa. The one who drinks, turns to violence when he's in the wrong and makes bets that he can sleep with people," Ben continued to laugh as the words spilled shamelessly from his mouth. "Are you sure that's the kind of man you want to be with?"

"You. But. No. You promised," Alyssa didn't have the strength to construct a sentence with made any sense and the words came from her mouth as she bit back a sob and hid the tears which were about to fall now that she knew the truth.

"Andrew has been incapable of loving anyone since the day Rebecca walked out on him. He fucks women and, once he's got what he wants from them, he throws them to the curb and refuses to accept that he had anything to do with them," I had been so busy trying to control my anger, that I didn't even notice the distance which Alyssa had now put between the both of us, as though she was terrified of me and what I was going to do to her.

"This, no, it's not real, please, this isn't happening," Alyssa said as she struggled from breath, the tears stuck in her eyes as she heaved, trying to get her breathing back to normal. I wanted to help her but, the moment I moved in her direction, she put her hand up as a silent warning not to come any closer to her and so I turned my attention to Andrea, who got my silent hint and walked over to Alyssa to help her out of her panic before she ended up injuring herself.

"I guess it's a good job that you didn't actually sleep with him. You would feel like a total fool had you done so," Ben taunted her and that was all it took for me to put my fist in his face again, twice in a row and I was pretty sure that I had heard the sound of bones breaking with the second punch, but I didn't really care because it was the least he deserved after everything he had done tonight.

"Stupid. I was so stupid. I can't believe that I actually thought you had changed," Alyssa's cries came and that was the one sound which was ripping my heart out of my chest, it pulled my insides out and completely destroyed me, because I was the fool who had done this and I didn't know how to solve this problem. I couldn't believe that this was happening, especially after the world, and now everything was going wrong for me.

I was an immature fool. I was a fool who was so blinded by the desire to win, that I didn't think about how this was going to affect Alyssa when she found out the truth. I should have turned him down, there and then, I should have told him to fuck his bet and walked away, but I didn't and now this was all happening because I couldn't turn down the chance to prove my brother wrong.

"Alyssa, please, ju—"

"Andrew. I think you should leave her for now," Andrea warned me softly, but the expression on her face was a complete contradiction to that tone, and I knew I was going to get it in the neck the moment we were alone and Andrea was going to give me a piece of her mind on the matter.

"Alyssa—"

"I don't want to hear it. J—Just keep the fuck a—away from me," and those were the last words which she shouted at me before she was gone from the restaurant. I had made her feel the very same way Dean and Darren had done, I had become the man I never wanted to be where she was concerned, and I was a total fucking moron for allowing last night to happen in the first place.

"And that, Andrew, is what it feels like to watch the best thing you ever had walk out of your life," Ben muttered in my ear, but I didn't have the effort or the strength to reply to him, I didn't have anything besides an empty, sinking feeling in my chest where my heart should have been.

"I am sorry," I found myself whispered, my eyes on the ground because I couldn't bear to face the disapproving looks of my entire family as they all processed what I had done to Alyssa, and I just allowed them to form their own opinions of me because I didn't give a damn anymore, not when it wasn't worth me caring about what they thought about me.

"You know how to fuck up the best things in your life," Andrea sighed quietly with her hand on my shoulder.

"Don't need to tell me that one, I already know how much I fuck my life up," I muttered. I didn't need my younger sister to tell me what I already knew, not when I had the voice in the back of my mind to remind me of what an twat I had, once again, been to the woman who I wanted to actually be with.

"Actually, before I leave, I have just one more thing I want to say to you, Andrew," I was surprised when I heard Alyssa's voice filling the room again, but I still couldn't bring myself to look at her, not as she told me again that she didn't want anything to do with me and that she didn't want me in her life, and I also couldn't listen as she told me that I wasn't going to have anything to do with my daughter either, "you are a sad, lonely man, and that's how you're always going to be. You don't see a good thing until it's far too late, you don't have an ounce of respect in your bones and, not being funny, but you're just a fucking joke. I wish I knew what the hell I even saw in you because, right now, all I am seeing is a desperate man who couldn't accept the love of someone, even when it is thrown right in your damn face."

"Ple—"

"I hope you enjoy your life without me, Andrew, and don't bother showing your face on Wednesday either. Ella doesn't need someone like you in her life," Alyssa quickly added and those are the words which really crushed me. I thought that she would be different, that she would at least let me see my daughter, but she was using a child in her games as her sister had been doing since the day Ella was born.

"Alyssa. Plea—"

"No. Save it for someone who actually gives a fuck," Alyssa snapped and, despite the situation which we were currently in, I was impressed with her confidence and how she could say all of this as though last night had never even happened.

"I just, give me a—"

"Don't beg, Andrew. It really doesn't suit you and it only serves to make you more pathetic than you already are," she laughed humourlessly as she turned towards the door, only looking over her shoulder to say her final words, "goodbye Andrew."

I didn't even get the chance to say anything else because she was gone and, this time, I got the feeling that she wasn't going to be coming back to me. She was gone for good and I had just lost the best thing to have happened to me in a while because I was too stupid to admit the truth when I had the chance to do so. I had to continue lying to her and that only made this all worse than it ever needed to be.

"I'll go after her then, shall I?" Andrea threw her hands up when no one bothered to walk out of the restaurant after Alyssa. But I wasn't an idiot, I knew that I was the last person she wanted to see, so I wasn't going to chase after her when she had made it clear how much she hated me.

She wanted no further part in my life and the only person I could blame for that, was myself. It was always my fault, no matter what had happened or who was involved, it was always my fucking fault and there was fuck all I could do to change that fact.

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