ANDREW

When Darren finally walked out of the apartment, his head held high with the thought that he was going to get another shot with Alyssa when we returned from Chicago next week, I knew that she wanted me to leave and that she just wanted to sleep, especially after the revelation that Darren was actually my half-brother, but I wasn't going to walk out that easily and I sure as hell wasn't going to leave her alone.

I understood that I wasn't her favourite person, but she didn't make it easy for me to like her either with her attitude problem and her willingness to be a stubborn bitch all of the time, that didn't mean that I wanted to see her hurt though. Darren was a heartless user when it came to women, he would bed them and then kick them out before they had the chance to think that it meant something other than sex, and then they would become his little joke for the period which followed—I had lost count of the number women who had come up to me, just to complain about the way in which Darren had treated them, like it was my fault that he was a total bastard who didn't give a shit about how he made other people feel.

I hated that his behaviour always came back to me. The only time that I actually had anything to do with him, was when we met to talk business, other than that, I didn't want anything to do with him because he was a constant reminder of what my father had done to my mother; the woman who had done nothing other than love my father unconditionally and remain loyal to him throughout their marriage to each other.

"I met your mother earlier. Well, at least I think it was your mother, either that she just has the misfortune of sharing your surname," Alyssa broke the silence with her comment, and her words actually brought a slight smile to my face, in that she was joking with me rather than being a bitch towards me.

"She does live on the ground floor of this place. So it's entirely possible that you did meet her," I chuckled. I remembered the reason that she ended up living here in the first place and it made me hate my father all over again, he was the reason for the fragmentation in our family and he was the reason that I resented my brother as much as I did, because I could never see him as member of our family. He was just a reminder of my father's betrayal and he was a painful reminder of the life we had to live as a result of his infidelities, and my mother's refusal to have anything to do with things which were related to my father.

"How did she end up living in a place like this? I thought your entire family was made of money and could afford to live in seven bedroom apartments in the middle of the city," I was surprised that she wanted to know about me, and I was even more surprised that she wanted to know about my mother, a woman who she had only met briefly earlier today and had clearly made some impression on Alyssa.

But then my mother had always had that effect on people. She had a bad habit of putting other people before herself and she wanted to make sure everyone else was happy, even if she was miserable, everyone else had to be happy for her to feel something even close to happiness because it was the only thing she could do after my father fucked her over.

"She does have the money, but it all belonged to my father, and she wanted nothing to do with him after she found out about his infidelities. When I was younger, we lived in a three-bed apartment just round the corner from here and I shared with Ben, until Ben moved out when he was sixteen and I moved out when I was seventeen, and then my mother moved into this place with my sister," I admitted quietly and I found my finger drawing lazily on her bare shoulder, I don't know why I started doing that to her, but it was strangely relaxing and it made opening up to her just that little bit easier.

"She told me that the only company she has these days is that of your sister and niece. How come you and Ben don't bother visiting her anymore?" I didn't know Ben's reasons for not visiting our mother, thought I would assume it was something to do with all the people he had been helping recently, but my reason was something I didn't want to remember and it sure as hell wasn't something I wanted to admit to her, much less myself.

I was a total ass to my mother the last time I saw her. She only wanted to help me, I know that now, but the drinking was so bad that I didn't want to listen to anyone, not even the woman who had been there for me as a kid and had raised me alongside my brother and my sister all by herself. I told her that I hated her, that she was an interfering old bad and it was time that she dropped dead anyway, but I was drunk at the time and I regretted every single word I said to her the following morning—I was too proud to apologise to her though, so ignoring her was easier than telling her I was in the wrong for saying what I did to her and that she was right about me needing some serious help.

"I guess I just couldn't bring myself to see after the way our last encounter ended but I can't answer for Ben and his reasons for not seeing our mother. But, if you wanted to, we could go and see her now?" I replied vaguely to which she rolled over and looked me in the eyes. I am sure she was looking for something which would tell her that I was lying and that I didn't want to properly introduce her to my mother, but I thought that she at least deserved the chance to meet the woman who had always been there for me, even when I was busy being a prick to her.

"I don't understand you, Andrew Collins," Alyssa sighed as she moved her hands from beneath the covers to sit on top of it, "I mean, you act like an ass and you treat me like shit, as well telling me what to do like my own father would, but you almost seem to care at the same time and actually want to keep me safe from something."

"Darren may seem like a sweet guy and he sure as hell knows how to please the ladies, I've caught him more than enough times to be able to tell you that one, but that's the only thing which he can do. Because, once he has what he wants, he will never want to see you again and, if he does want to see you, he will use the fact you slept against you so that he can hurt you," I did, weirdly, want to protect her from my brother because I didn't want her to end up as another one of his victims in the bedroom, not after the way she had been treated by her ex-husband and the pain she had already been forced to endure at his hands, "I don't want you to become another one of his personal jokes, Alyssa. I don't want to see him hurt you for his own amusement."

"Why do you care so much? Yesterday you were telling me that you would never fuck me and now you are trying to protect me from your own brother."

"Trying to protect you from a member of the male species who deserves to have his dick chopped off, just because I don't want to see you hurt by him, doesn't mean I want to fuck you, Alyssa. I just don't want to see you broken by my brother, especially after the pain you've already had to endure at the hands of selfish male," I don't know why it was so hard for her to understand that I really did just want to help her, there was no malicious intent in what I was doing, I just couldn't stand by and watch my brother use her in the same way he used all other females, not when she had told me of the hell she had been through and the reasons she closed herself off the male population.

"Look, I won't sleep with him, but I am still going to go out with him. I don't have any friends, so it would be nice to do something other than sitting inside this apartment all the time," Alyssa replied and I knew that's the best I was going to get, so I would take it and I would just be sure to warn my brother that, if he hurt her in anyway, I would make his life a living hell for as long as I possibly had the power do so.

"If you can become friend with Darren, infamous womanizer and renowned bringer of orgasms in the bedroom, then you shall be a better woman than all others who have tried to achieve that status in their relationship with my brother," I laughed and I didn't miss the way in which she actually smiled at me, not the sarcastic smirks and the grimaces she had been giving me for the last two days, but an actual smile and that only made me smile back at her in return.

"I do believe you offered to introduce me to your mother. So, is that going to happen, or are we just going to sit in my bedroom for the rest of the night?"

"I'll allow you to get some clothes on. I would hate for you to give my poor mother a heart attack by turning up at her apartment naked," I smirked and then walked out of the room.

Even at fifty, my mother was a remarkable woman, and she had done the best she could by Andrea, myself and Ben since the day she finally had the courage to walk out on our father. She had never complained and she had never blamed any of us for the things which went wrong, she made sure to shower us with love at every opportunity, and she always gave us what she could afford. I loved my mother and could never thank her enough for the things which she had for all of us, especially myself after Rebecca walked out on me, but I just wished that I had more time to show her how I appreciate her as a mother rather than living in the past and remembering all the ways in which I had fucked her over by being a complete dick around her.

I knew that Alyssa would love her the moment she was introduced to her properly and I could only hope that she loved Alyssa in the same that she loved Rebecca. Granted, my mother still loved Rebecca because I couldn't tell her the real reason that our relationship fell apart, I couldn't tell her that Rebecca walked out on me and took my unborn child with her, so I just told her we weren't meant to be and we went our separate ways. I couldn't stand to see her as broken as the day she discovered the truth about my father or the day that she told us we would never see our father again, that she was going to be raising us on her own, or even the day that she told us that our father was dead.

"Ready?" Alyssa smiled as she appeared beside me. She offered me her arm, and willingly took it with a smile on my own face. Even in jeans and a hoodie with her hair in a ponytail, she looked bloody good and I wished that I wasn't such a dick to her about the way she looked because, in truth, she was beautiful in her own way and she could pull off even the simplest outfits.

I understood that it was going to be tough, because Alyssa was Rebecca's older sister, but I needed to realise that they were two totally different people. They may have looked the same, and even sounded the same to some extent, but past that they weren't the same and Alyssa was nothing like her sister. She was a better person, I would be an idiot not to see that fact, but I needed to stop treating her like shit before it was too late and I needed to prove to her that I actually did want to be there for her.

"Other than telling you that two of her children don't visit her anymore, was there anything else my mother told you?" I asked.

"Nah. She just assumed that I had problems in the male department. I mean, I did have troubles in the male department, but not the sort that she thought I had," Alyssa laughed. I knew that she didn't have the sort of issues which my mother assumed that she had, Darren was proof enough of that, as was the number of males who had quickly become interested in the woman who had just started in their office.

"My mother may be fifty, but she sure as hell has one hell of an imagination on her," I chuckled. We walked the rest of the way in a comfortable silence and, for a change, I felt as though Alyssa didn't want to murder me and it was almost like she could actually tolerate my company, and she didn't even object to meeting my mother properly. Though I am sure that my mother would come to realise that I was the male with whom she was having a problem, which would then be followed with a lecture from my mother on the ways of treating a woman, and the ways of pushing a woman away. "I can't remember the last time I was this nervous about something."

"I think she will welcome you coming to see her. I got the impression that she's missed you," Alyssa put her hand on my arm in an attempt to reassure me that I had nothing to worry about, it was just seeing my mother again after two years of no contact and no conversations at all.

"I don't think so somehow. You don't know my mother," I joked nervously as I knocked on the door and waited for my mother to answer. I had a feeling that her expression was going to be priceless when she saw me standing here at her door and it was going to be even more surprised when she saw the woman she happened to meet on the bus beside me.

"What do y—" but, when she saw that it was me who was stood at her door, she stopped and there was only mere seconds before she pulled me into a hug and broke down in tears on my shoulder. She wasn't an especially tall woman, being only five foot two, so her hug was awkward as hell considering I was over a foot taller than she was, but I was happy that she was hugging me before she was shouting at me. "I've missed you son. I've missed you so damn much."

"I missed you too, and I'm sorry for the way I acted the last time we saw each other, I was a dick and for that I sincerely apologise," I finally replied and she only pulled away from me when she noticed that Alyssa was stood beside me.

"Alyssa Lopez. I see you have met my other son too," my mother smiled. She ushered the both of us into her apartment, pointing in the direction of where the living room was, and I had almost forgotten just how small this place actually was. There was my mother's bedroom at the back of the apartment with the spare bedroom opposite it, the bathroom was beside the front door with a separate toilet off my mother's bedroom, there was barely enough room was two people in the kitchen and the living room was just about large enough to house the three of us—I shall never understand how my mother lived here and raised my sister here, but she had always been one to make do and to never bother with the smaller things, as long as her children were happy and had a roof over their heads, she would take anything to be able to get on with her life.

"Yeah. I kind of work for Andrew," Alyssa replied awkwardly.

"Ah. And here I was assuming that it was Ben whom you worked for, given that he spoke so highly of you and thought you could be the key to getting my stubborn youngest son to actually face his demons, rather than drinking himself to death," my mother sighed, and it was good to know that she hadn't given up hope of my redemption and that she still believed there was a chance for me to get out of whatever mess this was I had gotten myself into over the years.

"No. I met Ben the same day I met Andrew, and I must say, the two of them couldn't be any more different if they tried to be," Alyssa said, and I am sure there was a subtle dig in there somewhere, because I had compared her to her sister and thought of all the ways in which they would be the same, while she had looked at Ben and myself as two totally different people and that's how she took the both of us rather than comparing us to each other.

"You don't need to tell me that one, Alyssa, I have known that since the day Ben turned six and Andrew turned four. Ben is the one who keeps to himself and prefers to help those who need it above himself, Andrew, on the other hand, is a selfish and difficult man who needs more help than I can provide for him now. But I would like to think that he's treating you right because you may just be the best thing to happen to since the day his fiancée left him," I would have to thank my mother for having many negative things to say about me and I would have to remind Ben that he was still the favourite son, and he didn't even have to pay our mother a visit to obtain that title, he was just her favourite and he was everyone else's favourite for that matter as well.

"It's not been an easy couple of days, but I've worked for worse and, in comparison, Andrew isn't all that bad to work with," I was going to have to remember to thank her for lying to my mother because, if my mother was to know the truth about the way in which I had acted towards Alyssa, my mother would castrate me in public and she would disown me as her son—two things I am sure would happen when she found out about the stupid bet I had made with my brother involving the innocent woman sitting beside me now.

I have literally spent the majority of the day, kicking myself and regretting accepting the bet in the first place, but someone laying down a challenge has always been my weak spot and I have never been able to refuse one when it's put on the table in front of me. And this wasn't going to be any different, even though I already knew the number of people who were going to be hurt when the truth came out, I was still going to pursue the bet and I was going to do everything in my power to ensure that I won the bet.

"Andrew?" Alyssa waved her hand in the front of my face and I looked between her, who sat there with an amused grin on her face, and my mother, who didn't look impressed that I had spaced out for moment and clearly hadn't heard what she had just said to me.

"Huh? What?"

"Your mother wanted to know why it's been so long since you last showed your face in this part of town. And, word of advice, I would think very carefully before you give your answer," Alyssa replied smugly.

"You know full well why I haven't been to see you, mother, and you also know it was for the best that I kept my distance. After my outburst the last time I was here, I didn't want for you to have to see that again, and I sure as hell didn't want to act in that manner while I was around you again," I didn't need to explain my actions to my mother, not when she knew the reasons for my actions, and not when she knew that my actions were the right ones to take, even if she didn't agree with me and wanted me to have shown my face around here at some point before today.

"It's been so long since you last contacted me, in any form, that I actually thought you were dead and that I was never going to see you again. You might be thirty and old enough to take care of yourself, but that doesn't mean that I don't worry about you, and that sure as hell doesn't mean that I don't love you. You are my son, Andrew, both love and care I have for you are unconditional and, while you may be able to cope without speaking to your mother, I can't cope without speaking to my son," I saw tears in the corner of my mother's eyes when she finished speaking and I immediately felt like a prize jerk for the way I had treated her, and for the fact I had taken it upon myself to ignore her for my own childish reasons—I should have known I was only hurting my mother by avoiding all form of contact with her, but I was an idiot, and I thought of no one other than myself.

"I know. I fucked up. And I really am sorry, I just didn't want to be the reason that you were hurt again and I didn't want to be the reason for the pain in your eyes," I sighed.

"Surely you haven't forgotten how to use a phone? And you clearly haven't forgotten where I live these days."

"No, I remember how to use a phone, and I would never forget where you live when this is the place you settled on once I moved into my own place," I told her. I would get as far as putting her number into my phone, but never as far as pressing the green button which would allow me to hear my mother's voice again, and I would sit outside her apartment for a couple of hours a week to make sure she was still coping, but I would never make it as far as he front door to make sure she was coping for myself.

"I am just going to assume that you didn't want to see me then and you wanted me to believe that you were dead?"

"I just told you. I couldn't be the reason for your tears and pain again because, the last time I was the reason, it tore me apart and I didn't know how to deal with the guilt which consumed me on a daily basis. I wanted you to be happy, and I never thought that you could be happy while I was around," I told her honestly, and I just had everything crossed that she believed me, because I didn't know what else I could say to convince her that I never intentionally wanted to hurt her, and that I didn't intentionally stay away from her as long as I have done, I just couldn't bear to hurt her again and I couldn't stand to watch as I made her cry all over again.

"I was never going to be happy without you, son. You may have been a selfish, hurtful bastard that day, but you're still my child and I am always going to love, no matter what you say or do to me. I did, after all, spend fourteen years of your life raising you alone, so I think the least that I deserve is a phone call every now and again."

"Please understood how sorry I am. And I promise that, from now on, I shall make more of an effort to be in your life," I sighed in defeat.

"And how about Ben? When was the last time you saw your brother?"

"Yesterday. He took Alyssa and I for breakfast and, as always, he tried to make me stop drinking and I just made a huge joke out of it," I wasn't going to tell her that Ben had effectively disowned me as his brother and I wasn't going to tell her about the bet either, so I would just tell her what she needed to know for her to have the confidence that Ben and I were able to live our lives without her. "Oh. And let's not forget all the work he has been doing to help the people of the world."

"I shall accept that as a valid reason for being unable to see me. But you, Andrew Jacob Collins, you don't even live half hour away from this place and you know where I live, so I would like for you to make more of an effort now to actually see me from now on," I felt like a child all over again only, the last time my mother had actually reprimanded me, I had been sixteen years old and I had just been excluded from school for getting in some fight with Darren. That was the last time I had seen my mother look as disappointed with me as she did right now, and she sure as hell didn't allow me to live the incident down for the entire week that I was forced to stay home, whereby she also reminded me that I was childish for rising to his jibes in the first place and that I was pathetic for getting into a fight with him over the ridiculous comments in the first place.

But, when your half-brother, who was the result of your father sleeping with another woman rather than your mother sleeping with another woman, refers to your mother as a dirty slut and constantly insists that his own mother is better than yours, you would be stupid if you did ignore him and allowed him to get away with spreading such cruel rumours. I spent the entire day looking for him and, when I finally found him, I didn't hesitate in punching him in the face, and I made sure to leave him with a broken nose and more than enough bruises to remind him what would happen if he dared open his mouth again—it is the one thing I can hold over him whenever he tries to wind me up and get one over me.

"Mrs Collins—"

"Please. You know both my sons, and have survived with the both of them, so I believe that warrants you calling me Diana. Besides, calling me that reminds me of a time which is better left forgotten, so I would definitely prefer it if you were to call me Diana," my mother finally turned her attention away from me and was entirely enthralled with the woman who had been sitting beside me for the entire duration of her lecture.

"Diana. I would like to invite you and Andrew to my place for dinner tomorrow evening," Alyssa smiled. She really did continue to amaze me with all the ways in which she was different from Rebecca, her sister never would have offered to cook dinner for myself and my mother, mostly because Rebecca never really appreciated my mother despite the love and adoration which my mother had for Rebecca.

"You know, Alyssa, I get the impression that I am going to like you. I am going to like you a lot," my mother laughed and, honestly, I couldn't remember the last time I had actually heard my mother laugh, even when there was a time that I was speaking to her and visiting her, she rarely laughed and any laughter which she did share was forced to make us believe that nothing was wrong.

"Shall we say, half eight? That should give me more than enough time to have something decent on the table for the three of us," Alyssa replied. "And, providing tomorrow goes to plan, we can always organise something else for when Andrew and I return from Chicago on Tuesday?"

"Chicago, ay?" my mother sent a wink in my direction and I found it amusing that she hadn't lost her imagination she had when we were all younger, and I also loved that she could find something out of absolutely nothing, but she had always been out that way and I am sure she was always going to be that way until she went her grave.

"Seriously? Alyssa just told you to be at her apartment for half eight, but the only thing you heard from that was that we would be going to Chicago which, for your information, is purely a business trip and nothing else," I sighed while Alyssa seemed to find mother somewhat amusing—though I get the impression that she was laughing at the idea of the two of us together, rather than laughing at what my mother had assumed was going to happen.

"Fine. But I shall bring the dessert tomorrow. I have too much time and I do love to make cakes," my mother clapper her hands together joyously. I didn't want to miss anymore moments with my mother because of my pride and my stubbornness, and I was determined to make more of an effort with her in the hopes of rebuilding our relationship, and I would have to thank Alyssa for being the one who made that happen.

The woman may have hated me and wanted to make my life a living hell, not that I didn't do the same to her as well, but she was still helping me and she had only made me look good in my mother's eyes, for which I was wholly grateful and I would never be able to thank her enough for what she had done this evening.

And that only made me feel all the more of a twat. There was never a time when I felt bad about the way in which I had treated a female but, with everything which had happened tonight and everything which Alyssa had done for me, I felt extremely guilty and I was ready to confess all of my sins to the nearest Priest, if only to be able to temporarily clear my coconscious.

"Perfect. Now, as it was lovely to see you again, Diana, and to be properly introduced to you, I really must be going. I have to be up for work at five, so I really do need some sleep before then," Alyssa smiled and pushed herself from the sofa, immediately being pulled into a hug by my mother, and she barely reached her shoulder but that didn't stop her from whispering something in Alyssa's ear which I was unable to hear—all I saw was the sad smile which was now on Alyssa's face and the blank expression which covered my mother's.

"And I shall see you tomorrow too, Alyssa," I stretched from the sofa. But all she gave me was a quick nod before she vanished from the room, leaving me with just my mother and a lingering silence as neither of us knew what we should to say to the other.

© 2015 Emma Norman. All Rights Reserved.