ALYSSA

Today was the day of the Charity Ball and the day I had spent the last two days dreading, because it was also the day that I had to pretend to be Andrew's girlfriend for the evening, and I have already prepared myself for the worst. Although the last two days had passed in total silence, he didn't even have anything to say to me during the flight and the only time he spoke to me was to tell me that we were coming in to land, and the only time I had really spoken to him the last two days was to pass on messages from the office which had been sent to me and marked as urgent—though, the main reason for the silence, had been down to the amount of time which Andrew had taken to spending in the free bar which came with the rooms.

But, other than that, I had remained in my room and had confined myself to reading through contracts, and then signing them on Andrew's behalf when I was sure that there were no loop holes and there was nothing in them which was going to lose Andrew money on the long run. I may have hated the man, but I didn't want him to lose money, and I sure as hell didn't want to run his company into the ground for my own selfish reasons.

"Miss Lopez. If I may say so, you look absolutely stunning this evening," Robert's voice spoke softly from behind me and I couldn't help the smile which graced my lips as I checked myself in the mirror one final time, just to make sure that I was actually looking back at my reflection and I wasn't imagining things.

My hair had been curled into a bun with parts of my fringe hanging down at the sides, all of which was held together was some serious amounts of hair spray and decorated with both glitter and flowers. The dress, which had been picked out for me by Robert yesterday afternoon, was a royal blue, floor length gown which had a slit on either side from the mid-thigh to the ground with an open back and spaghetti straps. I was wearing my six inch silver heels to prevent the dress from dragging too close to the floor and, as a gift to match the dress, Robert had also bought me a royal blue clutch which had a small bird on the front of it.

For the first time, in quite a long time, I was actually happy with the way that I looked and I thought I looked something other than presentable for a change. All I needed to do was pass Andrew's seal of approval and hope that he thought I was good enough to pass as one of the many women he would so willingly sleep with at the end of a night.

"Thank you, Robert," I grinned when I turned to face him, "and, I have told more than once, please call me Alyssa."

He simply nodded politely and offered me his arm, because I had been informed that he was going to be escorting me to the ballroom where I would meet with Andrew, I would hang off his arm for a while as he introduced me to some of the people at the event, and then I would be able to return to my room for the duration of the trip so that I could continue with my business.

I had planned to have a little fun with Andrew, show him all of the reasons why he doesn't want to get on the wrong side of me, but then I remembered that I was also here as a representative of the company and I could save my fun for another time, a time when I wasn't going to jeopardise the future of Andrew's company and run the risk of losing him valuable clients—that wasn't to say that I couldn't have a little fun, within reason of course, and that I couldn't subtly show Andrew I wasn't as much of a pushover as he thought me to be.

The journey in the elevator was silent, something I didn't like, and something which was only made worse when we walked into a room full of people, none of whom I had ever met before, and it certainly didn't help that I couldn't see Andrew either. I gripped hold of Robert's arm a whole lot harder than was normal for a person, but I wasn't used to being crowds of people this big though and, the additional fact that I suffered panic attacks when I was in enclosed spaces for too long, also didn't make this any easier than it already was.

The only thing I could do was take a deep breath as Robert walked me towards the group of people in the middle of the room. Most of them were sipping on a glass of champagne while making light conversation with each other, all of whom looked successful and important in their expensive suits without a single crease in sight, while their wives and partners looked equally as stunning in their evening gowns and outrageous jewellery.

"Ah, Robert, it's been a while since I last had the pleasure of seeing you," I took a moment to look at the man who had just spoken and he didn't look all that much older than Robert himself. And, from the way that he fiddled with his tie and kept putting his hands into his pocket, it was clear that he was either uncomfortable with the situation or he was just extremely nervous about something. "And here I was thinking you were happily married with your two children. So, if you don't mind me asking, who is the girl?"

"Firstly, I am twenty nine, which makes me a woman and not a girl," I was surprised by my own confidence, even Robert appeared to be a little taken back, but I could also see the smile which he was attempting to hide, "and, secondly, I am Alyssa Lopez. I am assuming you have heard of me. Andrew Collins' girlfriend?"

"Indeed. The fiery red head he hasn't shut up about all weekend. I am Douglass Jacobson," he extended his hand to my own and I only saw it as the right thing to shake it, as well as returning the smile which he had given to me moments beforehand.

"What can I say? The man likes to be a little different in the bedroom," I winked and, while Jacobson looked horrified with my revelation, Robert now wasn't even bothering to hide his laughter much to the disapproval of Douglass, which only made the entire thing all the more enjoyable. "Oh. You must forgive me. I had a few drinks before coming down this evening, and I have never mixed too well with alcohol."

"Where did the two of you meet? Andrew isn't being very forthcoming with that piece of information," Douglass asked and, for a second, I considered just telling him the truth and telling him that we had met through work, but I quickly decided that would be the boring option and I opted for lying, just for my own amusement and to see what Douglass would actually say.

"Funny story. He actually purchased me from another man. You know, off the Internet?" I downed the glass of champagne which I had grabbed from a passing waiter with a smirk now on my face, while Douglass' face contorted into all manner of weird shapes as he attempted to digest what I had just revealed to him.

"Well, Miss Lopez, it was certainly lovely to meet you, but I really must be going now," Douglass didn't even spare me another look when he walked away and began mingling with another group who were stood beside the entrance.

"Andrew is going to be pissed when he hears about what you have just told Douglass," Robert grinned when he offered me his arm once again and I willingly accepted as I thought about what had just happened. I had just creeped the fuck out of one of Andrew's associates, who I was going to have to speak to again before this evening to make sure that he knew I was lying and Andrew didn't really buy me off the Internet, but it was hilarious for the moment.

"Perhaps he should have considered what would happen before he told most of these people that I was his girlfriend and then threatening to make my life hell if I dared go against him at all at this event," I shrugged.

"As a fellow employee of Mr Collins, I have to warn you that you are playing a highly dangerous game, and sinking as low as he has done in neither the right action to take or the most mature thing to be done," Robert paused when we pushed our way through a group of people, all of whom nodded politely in our direction as they moved to the side to allow us a passage to the other side of the room, "but, as Andrew's friend, I am appalled by his treatment of you and I do believe it's time for you to show him what you're really made of. Because he doesn't have the right to act the way in which he has been acting for the last week."

When he finished speaking, I spotted Andrew walking towards us, unsurprisingly he had a glass of whiskey in his hand and he was probably just topping up on what he had drunk this afternoon. I would be impressed if he made it back to his room without needing help from myself and, being the person that I was, I would only be too happy to help him and make sure he was safe for the evening.

He did, admittedly, look rather dashing in his grey suit and black shirt without the tie and the top two buttons undone. The jacket fitted to the point that you could see his muscles and, when I glanced over the rest of him, I caught sight of the chest which you could just see through the open buttons. He hadn't bothered to do anything with his hair and it remained the same unruly mess it usually was but, strangely, he was able to pull it off in an attractive way—even his cologne smelt good and, when I was close enough to be able to touch him, it was the smell of that which overwhelming the smell of whiskey and cigarette smoke.

"Thank you for agreeing to escort her, Robert," Andrew pulled me off Robert's arm and put his arm possessively around my waist with his hand gripping slightly at my waist.

"As your employee, you are welcome, but, as your friend, see if you can go one night without being a fucking ass to her," Robert made sure there was no one else in earshot when he spoke to Andrew because we seemed to have gather quite the crowd, with people sparing glances every thirty seconds and others just flat out staring at the both of us.

"It's a good job I don't pay you to give me advice because, frankly, it's fucking shit," Andrew's grip on my body tightened and I could feel the searing pain which was now shooting through my body from my waist.

"Andrew. You're hurting me," I was holding back the tears while I attempted to force his grip from my body but it was to no avail. He was too busy having a staring competition with Robert to worry about the fact he was now causing me physical pain and Robert was too busy warning Andrew to notice that his friend was taking his anger out on my body.

"It's not advice, Andrew, it's a warning. If you hurt her in any way this evening, then I will make sure you pay for it," Robert threatened and, though the threat may not have seemed much to people around him, I had heard stories of what he could do to people who got on the wrong side of him, so I knew that you didn't want to piss him off. I also knew that he was probably one of the only people who weren't afraid to put Andrew in his place, and I didn't bother him in the slightest that he worked for the buy or that Andrew was the man who paid his wages, if he wanted to say something then he said something.

"I would like to see you try. I am Andrew Collins, CEO of Collins' Holdings Inc., and you are nothing more than my driver. So I would like to see you make me pay for it," I didn't miss his hands ball into fists at his sides and neither did I miss the blank expression now on his face, gone was the Robert with which I had become so familiar, and in his place was a man who was pissed off and was about ready to punch the man who was, not only his boss, but also his friend in front of the people who had gathered to watched the interaction between the two of them.

After a couple more minutes of the both of them just staring at each other, Andrew finally turned away and dragged me off to the opposite side of the room and, while I struggled to pull myself from his grip, he seemingly increased the hold which he had on my hip and growled words of hurt in my ear each time I attempted to move out of his reach. I was supposed to be showing that he needed to stop messing with me and that I was stronger than he thought me to be but, instead, I was on the brink of tears as he led me over to an intimidating group of men.

They all appeared to be older than Andrew and, from the looks which developed in their eyes when they noticed me, they were thinking of all the things which they could do to me in the bedroom and, though I didn't want, I found myself moving closer to Andrew when we eventually came to a stop because he was the lesser of the evils in this situation. And, despite the fact he had probably bruised my hip with his death grip, I would like to think that he wouldn't do anything else to hurt and that he also wouldn't let any of these men before me touch me with their filthy hands.

"And who is this little beauty, Andrew?" a man with a freshly trimmed beard and terrible hair asked while walking around, looking over me with lust-filled eyes, his tongue running unashamedly along his lips. "She looks positively delicious. Almost good enough to eat, in fact."

His roamed over my body and, out of pure fear, I found my hand tightening on Andrew's shirt beneath his jacket and my other hand holding onto the hand which rest on my hip. But, with a smile still plastered on my face, I looked around him to the man who had decided that he was going to move forward next. He was a little plump around the middle and he was slightly on the short side, at least in comparison to the other men in the group he was, and I could see the signs that he was losing his hair. His wrinkles were fairly prominent around his eyes and along his forehead, and I didn't miss the wedding ring which sat on his finger, but he still had the balls to look over me like it was his lucky night.

"You plan on sharing her once you're done with her, Collins?" he finally smirked with his hand on my cheek, which only caused me to flinch at his touch and sink further into the safety of Andrew, who had now released his grip on my hip and was holding my hand instead.

"Even if she was a one-time thing, which she's not, I wouldn't share her with you if you were the last man on this planet, Jones. Especially not when your wife is standing just behind you," Andrew spoke relatively calmly as he motioned the young brunette who was, indeed, standing behind Jones with her hand on her hip and look which screamed murder.

"Is she screamed in the bedroom? She looks like someone who would scream your name overly loud," another man commented. Only, this time, I didn't bother to stop and look at which one of them had spoken, I just turned my attention to Andrew and silently begged him to say something to make them shut the hell up.

"I would love to tie her up, or at least handcuff her to the headboard, gag h—"

"S—Stop. Pl—Please. Just stop," I managed to choke out the words before he could finish what he was about to say. I wasn't even embarrassed that I was now crying on Andrew's shoulder, nor was I embarrassed that these strange men were now seeing me break down like this, not when those words brought back so many painful memories and it's the one thing I will never let anyone do to me again.

I stilled slightly when I felt Andrew's hand released my own and move slowly to the open part of my back, his thumbs rubbing small circles on my bare skin, while he whispered for me to calm down. I knew that I was weak, and I am sure Andrew would find a way to use this against me at some point in the future, but right now I simply didn't give a damn. The last time someone had tied me to the bed and gagged me was when Dean raped me, he thought it was acceptable to take the one thing I wasn't ready to give up, and for him to treat me as though I was nothing more than a common whore—he found his release, then he was gone, and he never bothered to come back to make sure I was alright.

I never really did get over to me that night and, whenever a male made his advances, I would push them away before they even got the opportunity to get any ideas. And, if they didn't listen to me, then Danny was usually there to tell them where to shove it with the threat of excruciating pain if they so much as looked at me again. One of the few reasons that I spent my nights out in the same bar and rarely ever went somewhere new, I knew that Danny would be there to keep me safe if I needed it, because he was the older brother I never had and I was always there when I needed someone.

Darren shouldn't have been any different. I should have shunned him and done everything in my power to make sure he stayed the hell away from me but, instead, I was letting him use me with the knowledge that he would walk away once he had what he wanted from me, and I didn't even care. Darren was the first man I had allowed past my walls since everything with Dean, he was the first man to have touched me sexually, in any way, for over three years now.

"Dean. He did that to you. Didn't he?" Andrew whispered. I didn't even have the strength, or the voice, to reply to the question and all I could do was nod. I expected him to say something, to at least tell them to shut the hell up, but he said nothing and allowed the men to continue with their mocking comments, while his thumb moved around my back and sobbed onto his shoulder.

"Pregnant. That's got to be it. There can't be any other explanation," I heard a voice say and the rest seemed to agree with him. The mummers of each voice was mixing together and it was damn near impossible for me to actually understand anything that any of them were saying.

"Agreed. That is the only reason a woman would get emotional at the mention of anything sexual," I managed to pick that sentence out of all the others and it was those words which had me tearing myself away from Andrew. I could feel him make a grab for my wrist, but he was too slow and I was in the face of the guy who had made the comment.

The man was now positively petrified, as were those who were standing around him, and they were all looking at me with nothing other than fear in their eyes. I was more than certain that none of them wanted to fuck me now, if anything they wanted to leave, and they wanted to never have to see me again.

"You know, I am so fucking tired of male treating me like shit, and of them thinking that they have the right to walk all over me because I am a female. I don't deserve the shit I get from people but, until today, I have taken it all and I have never argued about it, I have never tried to stop it, and I have never made comment about the things which I do hear. But I am not going to be walked over any-fucking-more," I realised that my voice was louder than I intended it to be, and that had the attention of all those who were stood around which, obviously, caught the attention of the rest of the room and they were now looking at me with shock, but I didn't really give a damn. I was fucking fuming and I was going to finish this before Andrew had the chance to pull me away from the situation. "Now, for those of you who are interested in my sex life, the last time I actually had sex was three years ago when my husband, a man I was stupid enough to actually fall in love with, decided that he was going to take what I wasn't giving him. But, the last time I had oral sex was three nights ago, and did he know how to please a woman."

"Alyssa. I th—"

"No, fuck you Andrew, and don't tell me what you think I should do. You are, by far, the worst person I've ever met and, the only reason you have for treating me like shit, is because of my sister and what she did to you," I turned around fast enough that I heard the sound of air whooshing past my ears, "you know my past and you pretend that you actually give a fuck about me but, when it comes to it, you couldn't give a toss about what actually happens to me. You keep saying that you don't want to hurt me, and that you don't want to give another man the opportunity to fuck me up, well guess what Andrew? It's too fucking late for both of those things."

I paused for breath, and I could feel the anger rising from within, and my heartbeat rapidly increasing. I really didn't give a fuck that people were watching me, or that I was telling my employer just how much I hated him in front of people who were his clients, or even that I had probably—single handedly to my credit—ruined this night for everyone who was in attendance. I didn't even give a fuck that I still had tears running down my face and that my anger was surpassing my emotional state of mind.

"You make me feel worthless. You make me feel like I am never going to be good enough for anyone, certainly not the brother you seem to hate so much. You make me feel like I am the one who fucked you over by walking out with your daughter three months before your wedding. You make me feel like I am in the wrong, all the fucking time, and I am done with it now. I am done with putting the effort in with you, with trying to be your friend, and with trying to understand you. I am fucking done with you, Andrew Collins," I made those my final words and then I walked away, through the gap which had now been created by everyone, with my head held high and my arms by my side.

Some of them looked at me shock, some looked at me with sympathy, some looked at me with pride, and some simply gave me a pat on the back when I walked past them for being the one who was brave enough to stand up to Andrew in public. I know that I should have felt something, I should have least felt guilty for what I had done, but I felt absolutely nothing.

I didn't feel remorse, or the need to apologise, or even the need to run back to him so that I could tell him that I didn't mean the words I had used. I felt nothing besides cold, hurt and alone.

© 2015 Emma Norman. All Rights Reserved.