Emmeline

The words were locked up inside of me. Tom was kind to me, and he didn't try to force me to speak. But every time he tried to coax them from me, I couldn't do it. The threat rang through my ears, over and over.

You tell anyone about me, I'll find them and kill them. And then I'll kill you too.

I kept promising I wouldn't. He would strike me and make me promise with each blow. He would say that if I promised, just once more, he would stop. He never did, though. That was why, when Tom promised these things to me — that he wouldn't leave me, that he would tell me if he did — I was reluctant to believe him. And in spite of it all, I did.

He was gone for five full days and half of a sixth. I huddled in the bay window for hours, watching the front drive. Peggy, his housemaid, stayed with me whenever she could. I hated being alone. It made my mind wander, and when it wandered, it went back to that cell of terror, with no food and the only water from a drip in the corner. It was a wonder I was able to escape that night, when he'd drunk himself into a stupor and left the door open. I took his coat and the last of my dignity, stumbling through endless woods and sleeping on the ground for days. I must have lost myself well enough that he hadn't managed to find me. That was blessing enough.

"Lucian!" Tom's voice echoed through the house, accompanied by the boom of the doors opening.

His butler's feet came running, and then his voice. "I am here, milord. What has happened?"

"A disaster, that's what happened," he grumbled. "Mrs Shute! Where is the good rum?"

She joined him. "Gone through most of it already, milord."

"Find some. I am in need of a stiff drink."

Then his feet, coming towards the drawing room where I was huddled. He entered, his dark hair wild and his two-toned eyes burning. I made myself smaller, but he saw me regardless. His temper seemed to settle a little.

"What are you doing hiding over there?" he asked, his tone gentler.

"Waiting," I said.

"For me?" He rubbed his hand over his face and then began to yank at the cloth around his neck, pulling it off and throwing it over the back of a chair.

I nodded.

He sat down heavily in an armchair, head bowed. Without raising it, he said, "There's something I have to explain to you. Must explain to you."

I waited for him to continue, but when I didn't speak, he did.

"I did a very bad thing, Emmeline."

"You did?" I unfolded myself from my position and crept over to his chair. "How bad?"

Without prompting he began to explain. One of his good friends wanted to set up a protective organisation for Elementals — although I never knew that term existed until now — and together they went before a committee from Elemental Advancement. He wrote a statement to give them, using my arrival to build his case. But all they could think about was the fact that we were living under the same roof and we were unrelated by blood, marriage, or pay. For them, it was reputation that mattered, not Elemental welfare.

"I took advantage of your situation," he said as he finished. "I'm sorry. I believed it would convince them, but it seems that has failed us too."

I sat down on the floor in front of him, staring at his hands. His knuckles had scars on them, crossing over each other. "You had to," I said.

He raised his head, brow lowered. "Do you know what this means, Emmeline? I accomplished nothing except feeding the rumour mill of society. Charles Ashbury is going to use this weapon against me until I change it. Or unless I change it."

"How?" I couldn't remember anything of my previous life before my capture. No one seemed to remember that I existed. Which was fine by me, as long as the ones who hunted me did the same.

"You must leave me and we will never speak again, or we must join together in the societally-respected way." He hung his head again; to him, it seemed neither option was appealing.

I shook my head at those words — you must leave me. "Where would I go?"

Again, his head moved up, but this time his eyes were distressed, shifting constantly. "You have nowhere, do you? Nowhere to go?"

I bit my lip and shook my head. If he were to cast me out, I would truly be alone, with no way of fending for myself. I remembered nothing, and could hardly speak to him. Or anyone, for that matter.

"Then we have only one option left to us." He sat back in his chair, running one hand over his face. "I must make you my wife."

Those words surprised me so much I couldn't speak. He believed that was the way to force society to accept us. His simple act of charity had turned into something like a scandal, and I was at the center of it. And I hadn't expected his proposal. As unromantic as it was, he was doing his best to protect me. That counted for something.

"As soon as you are well," he continued, more to himself than to me. "Charles Ashbury thinks he has me, but he does not. He never has, and never will."

I hardly know you, I wanted to say. We've never exchanged more than a few words.

But I couldn't speak. It was much more difficult to even summon words. Someday, I hoped I would. If we were married, I would have to.

||

He left every day to work outside. I followed him to the door, but I could never make myself step foot past it. My captor was still out there. As long as I stayed in here, I was safe. Tom had promised no harm would come to me, and so far, none had.

One morning, we opened the doors to find a man on a dappled grey horse, wearing a top hat and well-cut clothing, trotting up the drive. Tom immediately went out to greet him as he jumped down, the stable-boy taking the horse's bridle and leading it away. They talked for a little while in the drive, and then came up towards the house. The other man's eyes, a light grey-blue, landed on me immediately. They shifted endlessly; he too was an Elemental.

"Is this the girl, Tom?" he asked as they climbed the steps. He really was very handsome, his sandy hair curling above his ears and his face clean-shaven.

"Yes. Emmeline, this is my good friend Raymond Kingsley, Lord Radford. Ray, this is Emmeline."

I moved my eyes from Tom's face to the other man's — Kingsley's. Or was it Lord Radford's?

"She doesn't say much, does she?" Radford looked over at Tom.

"You must understand, Ray, she has not been in a normal social situation for a long time."

I'm still here, I said, in my mind, where no one could hear me. I'm in front of you. You don't have to talk about me as though I'm not.

"How do you do, Miss Emmeline," Radford said, removing his hat and bowing to me. "May I call you that?"

"Hello," I managed. He was not frightening. In fact, he had warmth and friendliness coming from him in waves, washing over me like a gentle breeze. But I found my tongue frozen, the words locked down in my throat. "Yes. You may."

He smiled, eyes crinkling at the corners. Then they moved off together, their heads bent towards each other. I narrowed my eyes and turned away. It was frustrating, that I could not interact with people in a normal way. I wanted to carry on conversations, even ask about the weather or their families. Normal people knew how. I couldn't, and that was frustrating – as much as I wanted to.

He came to me in my sleep again that night. In his hand he held a metal poker, its end glowing white-hot. His grin was sadistic, even psychotic, and his solid gold eyes glinted like they'd been freshly polished.

Promise you won't attempt to escape again, my dear, and we won't have to do this.

I heard myself screaming, pleading with him to stop. I meant no harm by it, I only wanted some fresh air.

You'll have fresh air when I say you can have fresh air.

His poker came down, and the pain hit me like a thunderbolt. I was knocked to the ground but he kept beating me. The smell of my own flesh burning came to me, and my back ached where the poker came down on my spine. I screamed, louder and louder, but there was no one to hear me. No one ever heard me.

'Emmeline!'

A voice pulled me up, reeling me to the surface. I was still screaming, and blind with tears. Arms wrapped around me and held me close. My screams subsided to moans as I pressed my face hard into a sturdy chest. But I felt an inkling of surprise at how safe I felt. Tom was the only one I trusted to not hurt me, and he'd showed nothing but kindness the night I arrived.

He murmured into my ear as my moans gave way to sobs, my tears coming from somewhere deep inside me. I felt his hand stroking my hair, and ever so softly, he kissed the top of my head. Finally, when I was too weak to make any noise at all, I sank against him and let him hold me.

"Oh, my dear Emmeline," he said, and despite everything, I liked the way he said it. "My poor dear Emmeline."

I didn't want him to let go. If there was a way he could have held me forever, then I would have found it. But he was releasing me, his warmth and his sturdiness leaving me.

"No..." I caught his wrist and held it, preventing him from moving any further away. He was always pulling away.

"Emmeline, I..." His eyes were deeply troubled but soft with concern. He laid his hand over mine on his wrist, with the intention of removing it.

"No," I said again, my vision blurring as more tears welled in my eyes. I tightened my grip when he tried to pry my hand off. "Please..."

"I was only going to ask if I could stay the rest of the night." He brushed my cheek gently, my injured one, and his brow furrowed. "Will you allow me to stay?"

"Yes," I whispered, because I couldn't bear to be alone. My nightmares would return.

"I'm going to take my boots off now, all right? But you'll have to let me go for just a moment." A faint smile. "Only for a moment, I promise."

Reluctantly I loosened my hand, and his wrist slid out of it. He reached down to pull both his boots off, and then unbuttoned his waistcoat and discarded it. Then, slowly and carefully, he climbed onto the bed and slid his legs under the covers.

"All right. There we are. Not so bad, is it?"

We adjusted ourselves, me wrapped in the circle of his arms and my head nestled against his chest. His chin rested on my hair, and this was how we fell asleep. No more nightmares came to me after that.