Talia Nassar

The urge to trash Lucas' office is real. I storm through Handler Finance's hallway contemplating arson. Maybe there's a smoker that carries a lighter or matchbox in their desk drawer. Or someone perhaps secretly likes to light candles at their desk and break fire code rules. Gasoline would be tricky. Where could I get that? Maybe Imani knows. I quickly shake my head and laugh. He is literally making me crazy.

Pausing in front of Lucas' office, I look at his assistant's desk. A thought creeps into my mind and I glance around the empty office space. When it's clear no one can see me, I jet to Ethan's chair. I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing but I need to try to at least find a way to stay ahead of Lucas somehow.

After trying a couple of generic passwords on Ethan's computer, I rummage around the stacks of papers and notepads on the desk. I stumble across a couple of pep talk notes like, "You're amazing sunshine, keep going," that Ethan keeps in his drawer. Then, I find a notebook that looks like it houses a list of to-do's. I open it to the latest entry and find a bright blue post-it note with scraggly handwriting.

Find Lucas gift for Tiffany Voss. Medici Italiana. Delivery 8 tonight. Nothing too big. Maybe jewelry. Or something to do with animals. First date type of gift. You got this, Ethan.

My cheeks warm with my smile. I hit the jackpot. It looks like Lucas is going on a date later. Medici Italiana is a gorgeous new restaurant in the city that one of my clients owns. It's the type of restaurant that requires a small fortune to dine in. I scoff thinking about how Lucas went on about frugality at La Cucina.

Yeah, okay. 'I'm trying to save money,' my ass.

While I don't know what I'll do with the date information, it still somehow feels useful. Noise down the hall startles me. I quickly grab the post-it, fold it, and tuck it into my pocket before putting things back to where I remember them. Just as I stand up, Lucas' frame comes into view. I cross my arms and lean back against Ethan's desk.

Lucas appears deep in thought, looking down with a scowl sealed into his features as he approaches. When his head moves up, his eyes widen a fraction. "I thought you'd left."

I shake my head. Why does he look upset? I'm the one that should be upset right now. Not him.

"Alright, well I'm just about ready to go tell McAvoy employees together but there's something we need to talk about first." Lucas opens his office door and holds it for me to follow.

The look on his face makes my stomach churn. Something's different and I can't quite put my finger on it. Still, I'm annoyed at his little puffed-up display in front of his staff. "You better be apologizing to me. You made me look like an idiot," I say as I pass the threshold and stride to the chair behind his desk. I brazenly take a seat in his chair and raise my brows, waiting for Lucas to say what he needed to say.

After he closes the door and turns back, his scowl softens and amusement graces his sharp features. "Don't get too comfortable," he says as I lean back in his walnut brown, leather upholstered seat that's big for me. It's as if this wide seat was molded perfectly for Lucas' body. He makes his way to the side of the desk and perches himself on it facing me. "I apologize for what I did back there."

I tilt my head back before leaning forward. An apology is the last thing I'd expect to come out of his mouth. Before I can say anything, Lucas continues, "I should have let you speak. We're co-leaders in this thing and it only seems fair that we both get equal visibility with our staff."

I nod. My mouth opens and closes before it hits me. "Is this so that I won't talk over you when we share the news with my employees later? Seriously Lucas?"

He quickly shakes his head. "No. That's not why. In fact, I'm okay with you doing most of the talking later."

"Then, what is it? Why the change of heart?" My mind races. What's his game plan here? I can't figure it out. My pulse starts to race too.

Lucas takes a deep breath in before standing up and making his way to one of the guest chairs in front of his desk. I eye his every movement.

"I have to ask you something, but before I do, I want you to know I don't mean any ill intention by it. I simply need to understand something for us to try to have some semblance of normalcy working together."

"What is it?" My pulse is beating so hard. Can Lucas could hear it? Please don't be about the scandal. I hope it's about him figuring out my arson plans. That'd be the better and easier topic of conversation.

"It's, ah, how do I say this without sounding like a dickhead? I, um. Okay," he takes a deep breath in again before continuing, "Why are there so many rumors flying around about you sleeping around to get ahead?"

My stomach drops as my head shifts back. Even though I knew it was coming, it still doesn't make it any easier. Every time the so-called scandal is brought to light, it's as if I'm thrown into a rip tide and have no choice but to ride it out for fear of sinking under. It's not too surprising that Lucas heard about it as it used to make its way around every few years or so. I examine the concern etched on his features and my brain returns a cannot compute sign. Without even thinking I respond with, "Do you believe the rumors?"

He shakes his head immediately. "I don't. But I need to know why it's the first thing anyone fucking says about you when you're not in front of them."

I lift a brow. He seems like he's genuinely asking. And after so many years, I feel numb about everything. I learned pretty well how to stay afloat and ride out the waves until it's done.

At this point, it doesn't feel like I'm about to share something personal, but rather something you read about in the news and then forget about a couple of minutes later. "I don't know how it came about, but I'd started to hear about it early on in my career. Apparently, someone made up a story about me having sex with them just so I could get a job. The story reached my employers at the time and they fired me without hearing me out."

I shake my head thinking about that time in my life after graduation. "I had no idea who made the accusation and still don't to this day. It was months before I could find another job because no one wanted to hire me. But then I met Cora who gave me a chance and I've been with McAvoy ever since. And every so often the rumors somehow flare up again."

Lucas sits there frozen, with an unreadable expression while I shift in my seat. Stay strong, Talia. Don't be weak. "But do I give a fuck?" A small voice in my head says, "Yes," before I deadpan, "No."

When Lucas still doesn't respond, I move my lips to the side before speaking. "Is all of that surprising? I don't think I'm the only one that has to deal with this. I'm sure you know what our industry is like?"

A couple of thoughtful nods later, Lucas finally speaks. "I guess you're right. But, how could it not bother you?" he asks gravelly.

I simply shrug as if it's not a concern. Yet a tingling sensation still runs itself through my chest. I shared something that shouldn't be a big deal. I made it to where I am despite the scandal. Pity isn't for me. Yet, the look on Lucas' face makes it seem like I just poured my heart and soul out to him and I'm the most pitiful person in the world. I shift in my seat again before asking, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like we're best friends now and you want to take me to the carnival after school."

Lucas laughs before running a hand through his hair, which he seems to do a lot. I glance at the action. A couple of wisps fall lightly over his smooth forehead.

"Is that what you want?" he smirks before leaning back in his seat.

I laugh. "Oh yes, definitely. I'll be bringing my diary out for that one. I may even let you touch my boob on the ferris wheel if you're lucky," I say with sarcasm heavy in my voice.

A flicker of something dark grazes Lucas' eyes for a moment and my stomach flutters. What was that?

The wide grin on Lucas' face makes me wonder why in the hell I always have to take it there. "First, showering together and now getting frisky on a ferris wheel. It sounds like you're trying to tell me something, Talia."

"In your fucking dreams, Lucas," I say with a shake of my head.

"No, it seems like it's in yours." He smiles back playfully in a way that does something else to my stomach. Maybe the coffee I had this morning isn't sitting right?

"Are we done here? Can we go tell my staff before one of your employees runs to them crying?"

"Yep, all done. Thanks for sharing that. It was personal and I know we don't do personal."

"There was nothing to share. And it wasn't that personal. Ask anyone and they would've told you," I say, standing up.

"Let's just call it personal."

"Let's not."

"You can share personal stuff like that with me anytime. No judgment here."

I roll my eyes and make my way out of the office. Something seems to have shifted slightly. The more I think about it, the more I don't like it one bit.