Always the child of Quetzalcoatl. Never the daughter of Dhalia.

Dhalia, the kindest woman from the west, a farmer, was unlucky enough to fall in love with a god. A single drop of feather that landed on her stomach was the result of me.

Indeed, I was fortunate to inherit my father's ability and strength, but wasn't fortunate enough to have a strong body as well.

"She's sick, her body is too weak." Is what I used to hear when I was a child.

Raising me alone as a farmer, my mother obviously didn't had a great life. But I didn't know that, I didn't experience it. Dahil mula sa alaala ko, walang araw na nagutom ako, na nagkaroon ako ng rason para isipin 'yon.

But thinking about it now . . . it was transparent. Anyone could see it. Anyone would notice Dhalia's beauty fade, as she never eats and takes care of herself. Money was tight.

However, despite having different features compared to mortals, she thought her daughter could live as one. But blood will always tell.

My power grew stronger as my body went weaker.

I still remember it vividly. The sky was crying, the sun was already sleeping. The only warmth I felt was my mother's embrace as her tears dropped with the rain.

I was dying.

And she couldn't do anything.

"Sólo espera un poco más, mi niña.  (Just wait a little longer, my baby girl.)" Mariin niya 'kong hinawakan. "mamá esta aqui. (mama is here.)"

Under the rain, a woman who hadn't eaten and slept for days was holding her dying child. Taking her everywhere . . . but no one can heal her, no one could help her—for she doesn't have anything to pay.

Nothing is free. Everything is a trade. To receive something, you have to have something.

And Dhalia only had herself.

That night, when all of the mortals abandoned her—she turned to the gods.

"todo estará bien. (everything will be okay)." I could still feel her hands cuffing my cheeks.

She prayed and gave an offering. It was a good thing that Aztec gods weren't fond of gold. . . 

With nothing left but herself, she offered her heart. Dhalia gave her heart to a god twice, both gave her my life.

But still, it wasn't enough. The god needed something more. That's why it took my ability to feel, my emotions, my feelings.

Hindi ako manhid. Literal na wala lang akong nararamdaman.

"I didn't know if it was a curse or a blessing." Nagkibit-balikat ako matapos magkwento. "But hey, at least it didn't hurt when I lost my mother, right?" I chuckled.

"Hmmm, after that, of course, I was left alone. But I have a strong body which is why I'm here right now. I had to live alone and fend for myself. Then, someone from the agency took me in as a child, and taught me the things I needed to know!" I energetically added.

Yes, she taught me all of the knowledge I have. My personality included.

"People are unique, Zalli. They are interesting. You need to study them. You need to act like them. Study emotions, study feelings, study everything."

I still remember her words. It was years of experience to read expressions, to know how to react. But she was right, people are unique. I may know the difference between a fake smile and not, but some are really good at doing it that I have trouble knowing.

Still, it's hard to fake emotions, so I often laugh as a reaction to everything. I don't know how to sympathize, to be mad, to be sad, to feel anything.

"So that's that. Can you let my apology pass?" I pleased.

I was answered with silence. No one reacted to my story. I think it wasn't enough excuse for my behavior. Walang sumagot ng ilang segundo, bago ako makarinig ng pag-iyak at ang mabilis na pagyakap sa 'kin.

Celi, crying, rushed to hug me. Followed by Atzi who continued crying and hugged me as well.

I was confused, I glanced at Jairo for answers but he looked away with a serious expression. Izel watched me too, with the same look as Jairo.

"W-Why didn't you tell us sooner?" Celi sobbed. Sobrang lakas ng iyak nila ni Atzi.

"Well, I didn't think it was such a big deal," sagot ko. It's not like I can earn anything from that story, though.

"It is! Everyone is judging you, Lady Zalli! I did too! I'm so sorry!" Celi answered.

"Me too! I'm so sorry, Lady Zalli! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Atzi added.

"Hey, hey. It's okay, calm down." Pilit ko silang pinakalma at hiniwalay ang yakap sa 'kin. Sabay kong pinunasan ang mga luha nila.

"It's not a big deal, I don't have feelings, remember?" I chuckled, trying to lighten up the mood. But still, they cried.

"Tsk, let them be," nagsalita na si Jairo. Hindi katulad nang kanina, mas kalmado na siya ngayon. Pero hindi niya pa rin magawang makatingin sa 'kin nang deretso.

Tawa ang sinagot ko sa sinabi niya. Hinuli ko ang kamay ni Atzi na pinupunasan ang luha niya. I faced her, making sure she could see me.

"I apologize again, chica. Don't worry, I'll heal your sister and I'll do everything to find who did this to your family."

I don't understand. What I said made her expression lighten, but she's still crying. People . . . are so interesting.

"Don't cry now, chica. Let's go back and heal your sister, hm?" I said again. Still crying, she nodded.

With now Jairo assisting both Azti and his sister, we went back to the temple to see Azti's sister. Izel just followed us, silently. Surprisingly, he hasn't said any sarcastic marks.

The devotees were surprised to see me walking in the middle, towards the girl lying down. Nasa dasal ang pokus nila at hindi nila 'ko napansin, pero kahit gano'n pa man, kahit na sa 'kin ang tingin, patuloy sila sa pagdadasal.

Hinayaan ko lang din silang magpatuloy at nilapitan ko na ang babae. Kahit nakataklob ang tela sa kaniya, kita ko na ang buto-buto niyang katawan, ang amoy niyang masangsang.

I heaved a sigh, putting my hands inside the cloth and touching her. Slimy at the same time rough. Like I'm touching a log covered with slime.

I closed my eyes and mumbled. "Father, thee, creation of life, I ask for thy blessing . . ." I opened my eyes. "Bring back this creation before it was broken. Antecedent."

I felt spikes piercing my palm. Isang sobrang bahong amoy ang lumabas mula sa katawan, sinundan ng malagkit na itim na likido na kumalat sa lapag. Habang dumadaloy ang likido ay umuusok ito, nasusunog.

It took seconds before the flow stopped and the smell slowly faded.

Followed by a woman slowly rising.

𓆚𓆚𓆚