okay 

for tmr bingo prompt 'not set in north america'

i couldve done england because it's easier for me but wheres the fun in that?

its set in africa where thomas is a safari guide and newt + the gladers come to the safari and nearly get killed by a lion 😍😍 

"We're going to be late because somebody insisted they spend 4 hours doing their bloody hair!" Newt hissed, shooting a glare accusingly at Minho, who just rolled his eyes in response. He was a selfish idiot, in Newt's eyes, and because of his idiocy, they were all probably going to miss their Safari trip that they had booked for over a year. 

(Newt booked it, of course.)

(He was the only sensible one.)

"Well, if you got me up earlier then you wouldn't have had to wait." Minho countered, leaning forward in their rented car from the back seat, slapping Newt on his shoulder. 

Alby sighed, shaking his head in disapproval and looking at the 3 other stupid males in the back of the car through the rear-view mirror. Gally looked like he was about to jump out the window, Minho (who was in the middle) seemed to be taking up the entire backseat - very smugly, might I add -, and Frypan looked like he was about to drop off, somehow. 

Newt span around, making an offended noise. "Excuse me! You're not a baby last time I checked. You can do something for yourself one time, you know?" He slapped his friend's hand away when he attempted to smack him for a second time. "Get your ugly hands off me. Ew."

"Take that back! Nothing about me is ug-"

"If you both don't stop bickering, I'm crashing this car into a tree and you're both paying the money for it." Alby huffed and swerved the car to the side, just to make a point. He was not smart, apparently.

The pair shut up and folded their arms immaturely. Newt kept glaring at Minho through the side mirror as best as he could and of course Alby noticed, and of course he had to act like the sensible one whilst driving, and of course he had to speak up. "Stop being toddlers. I'm going to throw you out the boot in a second." He turned his head around, stupidly, just to glare at Minho.

"SHIT, ALBY-"

——

Thomas didn't mean to nearly get run over.

Obviously. I mean, who means to get run over? Especially right outside a very touristy place. It wouldn't give the place the best look, and Janson would probably wake him up from the dead just to stab him for getting run over in the first place.

It wasn't even his fault! Like, how could it be? A crazy truck was driving towards him and the driver was looking to the people in the back, so, it definitely was not his fault.

Not his fault that he stood in the middle of the road to stop cars to allow an adorable tortoise to cross the road. What? In his defence, the tortoise was cute, plus it wasn't just any tortoise, it was Bark. The best animal on the entire Safari. He needed to be saved at all costs. Thomas would sacrifice his entire life for the animal. And apparently, he nearly did.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" A voice screeched from inside the truck. Thomas could put a face the accented voice when a blond jumped out the truck, biting his lip to either prevent a laugh or to try and stop bubbling nerves. 

Okay, maybe he did die. This man looked like an angel and djfjjdjwnff.

"Uh.." Thomas blinked blankly. He didn't know whether he was a bit disoriented from the fact this man looked very beautiful or the fact he nearly got run over. He hoped, for his sanity, that it was the latter. He apparently forgot how to speak, so he just nodded hesitantly and moved his hand, only to realise he was actually on the ground. When did that happen? "Wait, shit, did I sit on Bark?!" The idea of sitting on the best animal in the Safari was enough to snap him out of his daze, because if Janson didn't kill him for killing Bark, Teresa and Brenda would be more than happy to do the honours. 

The blond furrowed his head to the side. "Bark?" His eyes scanned from Thomas to the ground before his eyes widened like he just discovered the most amazing thing ever. (Cute.) "Oh! The turtle? Yeah, uh, it's.. there." He pointed to Bark, who was still edging closer to the other side of the road. Thankfully.

Any simping thought of Thomas' disintegrated when the word 'turtle' came out of the blond's mouth. "Turtle? It?" He folded his arms and he tried not to think about how stupid he would've looked - pouting whilst sat in the middle of a road. "He is a tortoise, I'll have you know."

"Oh." The man looked like he didn't know what to say now. "Uh.. can I help you up?" He offered a hand with a small smile.

Thomas huffed, taking his hand and hauling himself up. "Thanks." 

An awkward silence made its way over them and Thomas could not have been more glad for Teresa in that given moment. She might have been more angelic than the blond for a second. 

"TOM. Get your ass over here with Bark!" 

Thomas chuckled awkwardly, and lifted his hand to gesture over to the proper entrance of the Safari only to realise that, hey, he hadn't let go of the blond's hand. "Shit, sorry-" He dropped the hand and prayed, prayed, prayed that he was not a tomato. Then again, he could just blame it on the heat. "I, uh, I'm going to go."

The blond nodded, clearly uncomfortable with everything. "Yeah, uh, okay. Sorry for nearly killing you."

——

"I'm officially asking him for his hand in marriage." Newt declared, flopping himself down on the passenger's seat once he got in the truck. 

Alby looked at him weird, actually no, all four of his friends looked at him like he was completely insane. Understandably, as well. 

Frypan seemed to have woken up fully now, but he still had absolutely no clue what was happening. Gally looked even closer to jumping out the window (the window was fully down, his hand was nearing the seatbelt opener thing and his head was stuck out the window a bit), Minho was about to burst out laughing and Alby looked traumatised - either from the fact he nearly killed someone or Newt's announcement.

Minho did start laughing now, a hand shooting up to his mouth when he snorted. "You-You what?"

Newt huffed and rolled his eyes. "He's so pretty, shut the fuck up." He looked outside the window, watching the male walk away. "He has a nice ass too." 

Gally's groan of annoyance clearly seemed to be the perfect response, because Alby imitated it less than a second later.

"What? Alby just nearly ran someone over and you're making fun of me?" He threw his hands up in irritation after glaring at everyone in the truck.

Frypan yawned. "Don't look at me. I've been trying to wake up for ages."

Minho's laughing subsided, and he was now just grinning madly. "Okay, you ask for his hand in marriage. What's his name again?"

"..I don't know."

"Aww. He was too busy having a gay panic to ask basic human questions!" Minho cooed, flopping his head onto Frypan's shoulder in an attempt to be all aww-y. "How adorable!"

Newt groaned at the sarcasm that was very, very straightforward. "Didn't you nonstop talk about Ben for like, I dunno, 1 month before you asked him out?" He folded his arms defensively. "Then you broke up like 2 months afterwards. Your love life is shit."

"Uh, I have people fawning over me from a mile away, Newtie. I just don't have any interest in them. Your love life is shit. This just proves it even more." 

Honestly, Minho was true. He did have people fawning over him (for some really weird reason - then again it wasn't weird because they didn't know his personality, they just saw his arms and starting swooning) but he never really seemed to get in a proper relationship. Not that Newt really cared. 

(He did care. They both cared for each other but they were both losers so they didn't admit it.. unless someone was dying.)

Minho was also very true about the second thing. Newt's love life was almost as nonexistent as Minho's modesty. The last person he dated was Alby and that turned out terribly.

"I do not give a fuck about either of your love lives. Can we just turn into this stupid Safari place so I can feed you all to the lions?" Gally pinched the bridge of his nose. He was utterly fed up with his stupid monkeys of friends.

Alby clearly had the same thought as Minho and Newt, because he scoffed, yet did turn the engine on. "You'd never feed Frypan to the lions, Gally."

"Uh, yes I would-"

"No you wouldn't. You threatened to punch Minho the other day when he called Frypan 'Fry'."

Frypan groaned. "Shut the fuck up and drive." When they both quietened down, he shook his head and muttered. "I deserve better than this."

——

"Thomas, stop simping over a man who almost killed you, and get to work." Mary, a worker at the Safari, sighed at Thomas' stupid behaviour. He hadn't shut up about the 'angelic blond!' who had come to 'save him!' from his 'sudden' lack of stupidity. Sudden. What a joke. 

She grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him over to one of the proper Safari trucks. "Okay, you're going to be explaining animals and whatever you do to the customers, I'm driving. Teresa is coming with us because, wow, guess who can't trust you?"

"Janson?"

Mary let go of his wrist and pointed to herself with an overly enthusiastic smile. "Me."

"And me!" Another female voice quipped, joining the conversation. Teresa. She was an average height woman, with dark brown hair and a pretty face. She took no shit from anyone, and, well, if you did shit at something, she'd throw animal shit at your face. She had been Thomas' best friend for over 5 years. 

Teresa swung her arm around Thomas' neck and stuck her tongue out. "Who are we giving a tour to?"

Mary snickered. "They booked in as 'stupid bitches who should die + Newt'. Seems like a great bunch if you ask me. Have fun, my lovelies." She got herself into the truck and sat in the drivers seat. 

"Newt?" Thomas snorted, shaking Teresa off his shoulders with a grimace. "What type of name is that? Why would you name your kid after an amphibian?"

Teresa grinned, hands on hips. She put on a weird accent - a mix between posh London and her own American - and batted her eyelashes. "Hello, darlings. My name is Kirk's Dik-Dik. Yes, I am in fact named after a mammal! How would you guess, sweetheart?"

"There's an animal named a penis snake, you know?" 

"...Does it look like a penis?"

"I mean yeah?" He shrugged. 

Teresa nodded approvingly and thought for a moment. "I want one."

Thomas raised an eyebrow, pushing into her side. "Ah yes. This is Teresa, my best friend. And this is her pet penis snake."

"I'd get tons of guys wanting to lay me if I had a penis snake." She smirked, spinning around. "Who doesn't want to bang a girl with a penis snak- stop hitting me, Tom!"

Teresa stopped spinning, looking at what Thomas was looking at. "Uh... hello. Welcome to the Glade Safari tour." Teresa tried, no, begged, not to laugh at Thomas' attempt to have a normal introduction but she couldn't help but burst out laughing.

Thomas, on the other hand, wanted to burst out crying because hey, this was the angelic blond whose friend nearly ran him over.

"Thank you." The blond smiled, completely ignoring the elephant in the room, in this case, Teresa. "I believe my friend owes you an apology for nearly running you over." 

He nudged a darker-skinned male with an accusing glare, who rolled his eyes. "Yeah, uh, sorry." 

"It's fine?" Thomas blinked at the blond, then at the almost-murderer, then at the blond again. "Are you the people we're giving a tour? Oh wait, sorry, 'stupid bitches who should die + Newt'. Is that you guys?"

A male with Asian-descent it seemed let out a gasp and punched the blond playfully on his shoulder. "Newt! How rude of you!" 

So that was Newt, Thomas thought. Still a really weird name.

"Well, I'm sorry. You could've booked it if you wanted to. It's my money that was used, so don't even start complaining, Minho." Newt crossed his arms, before looking back at Thomas. "Sorry. Uh, yeah, that's us." 

Thomas blinked. 

Teresa composed herself, wiping her eyes after her outburst. "Alright, alright. Come on, let's go then!

——

"So, that's a-"

"Hyena, we fucking know." A tall male huffed. Thomas found out his name was Gally after Teresa insisted they all know each other's names. "Get on with it."

Newt furrowed his brows. "That's not a hyena, you moron."

"Uh, yes it is."

"No it's not."

"Yes it is."

"Isn't."

"Is."

"Isn't."

"Is."

"Isn-"

Thomas smiled. "It's not a hyena." He felt somewhat proud that Newt got it right because Gally didn't seem like a ray of sunshine. "It's an African wild dog." He pointed at the animal through the opening of the truck. "Hyena's and African wild dog's have similar spotty markings, but hyena's are bigger and heavier than African wild dogs, so, you know."

Newt stuck his nose in the air with a proud grin. "Ha! Take that." He brought his attention back to Thomas. 

"Usually other canines have 5 toes per foot, but wild dogs only have 4. Their legs are really long up close. Actually, even from here you can see that they're long. I've been lucky enough to be near one when it was anaesthetised. It was adorable-"

"GUYS, there's a rhino fight going on here!" Teresa screeched from the other side of the truck.

Everyone's attention was instantly drawn away from Thomas and towards the rhino fight. Thomas pouted. "Okay then." He sat down on one of the chairs, getting his phone out of his pocket because he had seen many rhino fights before in his life. They weren't that special. 

"Hey." Newt smiled, leaning over the seats from the chair behind. "I'm still listening." 

Thomas could not help but feel butterflies in his stomach. "Oh." He smiled. He was happy someone was interested - a lot of people just came to the tours to see the animals. They probably couldn't care less about the facts.

But Newt seemed to care. "Oh?" He grinned, standing up and walking into the main aisle before plopping himself down into the seat beside Thomas. "You're much more interesting than a rhino fight, Tommy." He glanced down at the phone in the brunet's hand. "Uh, could I... number?"

Thomas.exe has officially broken. "Could you number?" He chuckled, but gave the phone to Newt anyway. "You can number."

Newt nodded. "Good. I like being able to number cute Safari brunets."

"I'm not your first cute Safari brunet?" He raised an eyebrow inquisitively, nudging his shoulder into the blond's. "I'm very offended."

"As you should be." Newt handed Thomas his phone back. "There you go. Now, tell me more about wild dogs. I want a pet one. They're cute."

Thomas had to think for 5 minutes because his only coherent thought when he got his phone back was the contact name Newt put in: Newt <3.

yuh yuh