i read a thomally thing and i was like ok first of all YES 

also i tried doing this in present tense which is something im not used to doing so yk

i loved writing this actually but its sad so

ITS LITERALLY THOMALLY APOLOGIES IM SOBBING

"I'm sorry."

It's only two words, but they hold such grief and guilt and they mean so much to Thomas and Gally. They'd gone through over a year of hating each other, thinking the other means harm, just to end up kind of disliking each other at the Safe Haven. Gally had always had a hard time showing his true emotions, so just apologising means so much to Thomas. A first step in their friendship. 

Thomas jumps at the sudden noise. He hadn't even heard Gally walk up to him. He was too deep in his thoughts, presumably.

"For what?" Thomas murmurs, looking up at the male. There was a significant height difference usually, and the fact that the shorter was sat down, just made Gally look even taller. 

Gally almost laughs. For what? "You're still an idiot, Greenie." Greenie. The name shouldn't mean so much to Thomas. But it does. It reminds him of the few days he had in the Glade, the few times he saw true happiness and safety even though they had no clue where they were, no clue why they were there, no clue what was happening most of the time.

Thomas raises an eyebrow, cracking a weak smile. "There's a lot of things you should be sorry for, Gally. You have to be more exact." He's been at the Safe Haven for over half a year, and he's only just coming around. The other Gladers started joking and generally living way before. Except for Minho. And Gally had always just been the same. 

"Sorry." He whispers again, not really understanding the humour. "I.. I dunno. I'm sorry for everything, really." He runs a hand through his hair, closing his eyes and chewing on his bottom lip. "I just.. Chuck." 

Thomas understands properly now. He doesn't say anything for a second, just looks down, stares ahead, looking at the sea. But then he eventually does speak up, voice soft and understanding. "It wasn't your fault." 

Gally doesn't have the slightest clue how the man can say that. It wasn't his fault that he shot Chuck? The thought sounded inane to him. He knew WICKED controlled him, but he was weak. He should've fought back. And because he didn't, he's living with the consequences.

He sits down beside Thomas, feeling comfort from the way the sand trickles into his hands. It's an odd feeling, but it reminds him of the dirt in the Glade. It feels like home now. 

When he doesn't get a response, Thomas continues, sitting up slightly and facing Gally. "You know they controlled you." 

"Didn't stop you from punching the hell out of me when you found out I was alive." The words pour out of his mouth before he can blink. "If it weren't for Newt, I'd probably be dead." 

Thomas flinches at the words, then freezes when 'Newt' is spoken. He blurts out words before he can think twice about them, and maybe him and Gally aren't as different as they seem. Maybe they're both living with survivors guilt, and maybe they both don't think before they speak. "I killed him." 

Gally instantly shoots up into an upright position, eyes wide, when he realises what the male's talking about. "Newt?" He asks for clarification, completely dumbfounded. When he gets a shaky nod, he stands up. "Oh my god. Oh my god."

Thomas chokes on a sob, shrinking down in himself. "He begged for it. He begged for it and I couldn't refuse and I loved him and he loved me and I killed him." He feels so bad and he can't deal with it and he should've been the one to die not his boyfriend and it's humiliating that he's breaking down in front of someone who he should hate. 

Gally takes a step back, not really knowing what to do with this new information. He's not processing the words that Thomas and Newt loved each other - it doesn't make any difference and it was sort of predictable. 

He doesn't know what to do. He's just as scared and they're all scared and they're only just adults probably and they've been through too much and they're being forced to live with all this panic and trauma on their shoulders. He's terrified. He's absolutely petrified of his emotions, of expectations, of people, of opinions, of everything piling up around him. And he doesn't know how to comfort. He has no clue how to comfort Thomas' crying body, so he does the one think he knows how to do.

He leaves.

----

They don't speak for another week. It doesn't surprise anyone. Before their conversation, they only ever spoke when they got forced to. 

They only speak when Thomas walks up to Gally, who's on the beach, feet in the sand, arms crossed, staring into the ocean. 

He doesn't say anything at first, just stands beside him and stares ahead. He wonders what's out there. Sea cranks? He doesn't know. Maybe it's just peaceful out there. Just the sound of seagulls squawking to their hearts content, the sound of waves crashing against the rocks, the sound of the faint engine on a boat. He's interested, but he'd never go out there. Not after everything they've seen. 

"I'm sorry." 

Thomas whispers. He knows he should've been braver, should've kept Newt alive for 1 more minute. Just until Brenda got back with the cure. 

Gally nods. "I know." He paused, and for a moment the shorter one wonders if he's going to cry. "You wouldn't purposely hurt Newt. I could see you loved him." 

"Oh." He doesn't know what to say. Nowadays, he never seems to. "Can we be friends?" It's a pathetic question. He just doesn't want anymore hatred between anyone. He just wants everything to be okay. 

And maybe it will be. "Depends if you're still oblivious, Greenie." 

Thomas punches Gally's shoulder playfully with a small smile. 

----

"I'm sorry." 

Gally whispers on a bonfire night, a weekly occurrence when everyone from the Safe Haven is there. 

He's sat at the circle that consists of what's left of the main Gladers, plus Sonya, Aris, Harriet and Brenda. Thomas is sat next to Minho, he notices, which is something that happens most times now. He can't help but feel a ping of jealousy. The last time he had someone to call his best friend was Frypan in the Glade, and now they seem to just consider themselves as acquaintances. 

The group go quiet, listening in to Gally. He rarely speaks, and when he does, it's usually an outburst. Thomas shoots him an encouraging smile, an action that sets his stomach on fire. 

Gally licks his lips nervously, averting his eyes down to the ground. He doesn't know what he's planning on saying. So, he just rants. "I'm an asshole. I haven't been the best, I killed Chuck and everything's shucked up. A lot of people are dead." He sighs hazily. "I pushed people away and I still do and I don't know how to deal with it. I just.." He trails off, shrugging slightly.

Nobody knows what to say. 

Minho is the first to recover, offering a small smile. "We all did things wrong, Gally. They don't define us. We can't change the past. We just have to look into the future."

Thomas is staring at Gally. He looks.. proud? It's an odd look but it puts Gally at ease. 

Frypan grins. "You idiot. Stop pushing us away. You aren't an asshole, Gally, you didn't kill Chuck and yes, everything's shucked up. But so is everyone. We're all shucked in the head, but it's okay because we'll get through it. Together." 

Gally blinks blankly. "Thanks." He replies curtly, once again not knowing what to say. The response gains a few chuckles, and even he cracks a smile. 

But it's not the words that make him happiest. It's Thomas. And he thinks if giving a small apology to people is enough to make Thomas proud, he'd do it daily.

---- 

"I'm sorry for nothing!" Gally smirks, pushing Thomas into the sea with a laugh. 

Thomas gasps in mock offence, but he can't suppress the smile threatening to appear. "You shank!" He barks, but then grabs onto Gally's wrist and pulls him into the sea as well.

Gally topples on top of him, causing them both to fall over onto the sand at the bottom of the shallow sea. He makes a surprised noise at first, grimacing as he realises he accidentally swallowed some sea water. 

Thomas seems to have the same problem, because he's doubled over, laughing but also snorting and trying to spit into the sea. 

They both sit there for a minute, spitting into the sea, snorting out laughs. Until Thomas jumps back on top of Gally with a shriek, pointing at the seabed. At first, Gally had absolutely no clue what his friend is on about, too busy trying to form a coherent thought about him being on his lap, but then he notices the tiniest crab on the seabed. 

"It's a crab, Thomas." He scoffs, shaking his head. "It ain't gonna kill you." 

Thomas clearly doesn't see it as that, because he shouts, "Griever!", and reaches for a stone to throw at it.

He misses horrendously, and if he weren't about to cry, Gally would've laughed at his pathetic attempt. Gally just throws his friend off his lap and gets a stone, and actually squashes it down with it. The crab does show some similiarity to a griever, now he looks at it properly, with its legs and hard body that could resemble metal. He wonders if WICKED got ideas from crabs.

Once the threat is dealt with, Thomas lets out a relieved sigh, composing himself. "Thank you." 

Gally just smiles. "That's what friends are for, hey?" 

---- 

"I'm sorry for ruining your chances with that girl." Gally stares at the ground, looking like a defeated puppy.

Thomas huffs, pacing around with his hands in the air. "You're so infuriating sometimes!" 

The taller just chews his lip. Once again, he's speechless. He doesn't know what to say and he ruins everything and he shouldn't have become friends with Thomas. He doesn't respond.

"What? You just gonna stand there and do nothing?" He stops pacing, putting his hands back to his sides and staring right at Gally.

"I don't know what to say." The answer's short and simple, probably too short and simple, but it's the truth.

"It's like you're jealous or something!" Thomas scoffs, but then blinks at Gally. His voice softens and he takes a step forward. "Are you jealous of me? Do you like her?"

Gally takes a step back, feeling intimidated by this stupid, oblivious man. "No." He mutters. "Why do you care, anyway? You were just shouting at me a second ago, Thomas."

"I-"

"Stop." He looks like he's going to cry. "Just go back to your girlfriend."

---- 

"I'm sorry." 

Gally gets a sense of deja vu. They've been here before, but the roles are reversed now. Thomas is apologising, stood up on the beach, and Gally is sat down on the beach. 

He gives a small, shaky smile as he looks up. "For what?" He imitates the words spoken many moons ago. 

Thomas sits down. He looks at Gally, doesn't smile at the mockery, and he utters three words that take them both by surprise.

"I love you." 

Gally blinks blankly at his... friend? The word didn't sit right with him. "What?" 

Thomas lets out a choked sob, staring at the ground as his tears wet the sand. Another sense of deja vu. 

But this time? This time Gally comforts him.

He doesn't leave. He doesn't make a stupid mistake. He wraps his hands around Thomas' waist, letting him cry into his chest.

Gally feels his own tears wet Thomas' hair, but he ignores it. He ignores it because they're both weak and it doesn't matter because they don't have to be strong. They can show vulnerability in front of each other because they've changed. 

They sit like that for around 5 minutes, before Thomas looks up and repeats his words. "I love you." He sniffs. "I know you probably don't love me but I don't care. I needed to tell you."

Gally's never been good at words. So, he doesn't speak. 

He leans forward and captures Thomas' lips in a kiss with his own, pouring his emotions into it. His apologies, his adoration, his pride, his anger, his jealousy. 

It all mixes in the kiss.

When Gally pulls away he just stares for a second. "I'm sorry, I-"

"Kiss me again." 

So he does.

oh my god im sobbing my eyes out 2k words of thomally and its the best 2k words ive ever written 

if ive written something in past tense by accident then forgive me omg

but seriously im so happy yet sad what is happening

im finally on my period as well