okay. 

thomas agnes works at a cafe.

so, he's relatively normal.

but, okay, there's this one customer, who never gives a proper name.

and oh, boy, does it annoy thomas. 

like, he comes in every 2 days or so, and always gives a fictional name. 

sometimes it can be okay, like sure when he gives the name 'catra' or something and they can have a conversation for 30 minutes about she-ra.

but it's so infuriating.

because this male is hot as fuck, basically.

he's absolutely gorgeous.

and thomas is 1 more fictional name away from kicking this person out of the cafe.

so, when thomas is working normally, and the boy walks through the door, he's just about had enough.

thomas turned to the customer, as he heard footsteps approaching. he was just stood, playing on his phone. probably not professional but it's not a michelin starred restaurant so it was supposed to be cosy and comfortable.

"hello, how can i- oh god no." he groaned, looking at the mop of blond hair.

the mop of blond hair grinned. "i'm feeling extra nice today. give us the usual, though."

"are you ever going to give me your real name?"

"depends." 

thomas frowned. "you wound me."

he snorted. "that was the intention, deary."

"okay, i cannot be bothered to deal with you. nope. no. brenda, get your ass over here." he called for brenda, the other worker at the cafe.

"wow. i cant believe you." he faked an over exaggerated gasp, placing a hand on his heart. 

"usually i'm the annoying one in family reunions. god, how do your family deal with you?"

the blond's eye twinkled. "oh, tommy, they don't."

 the male knew thomas' name because of the name badge, and refused to stop calling him tommy. in reality, it made thomas djxisjdjfj but he'd never admit it.

thomas ignored him and walked off when brenda arrived, earning a hearty laugh.

cute.

"hey, bren, what's the name he put down today?" thomas asked, raising an eyebrow as he took a sip out of his hot chocolate.

"it's weird, he's gone to animals now, he's used all of the fictional characters he can think of probably." brenda shrugged, not really digging too much into it.

"what, did he put mole or something?" 

"mole!" she snorted. "no, he put newt." (for the purpose of this we're gonna pretend there's no other fictional newt even tho ik there is another)

"newt? like the reptile?" thomas' eye literally twitched. 

brenda nodded. 

"i swear to fucking god. i want his name. bye." 

he stood up, slammed his hot chocolate down on the counter (probably spilling it) and stormed out into the open area of the cafe where the seating was. he looked around until he found the blond haired male, sat at a table with a few other people.

did thomas care about their being others there? nope.

should he have? probably.

he instantly stormed over to the table and shot daggers at the male. 

"okay. tell me your name or i'm actually going to kick you out right now." he tried to sound intimidating, but it probably just came out as a whine.

seeing the way the blond smirked amusingly, it definitely did. "what are you talking about, tommy? i said my name to brenda." 

"no, you said newt. that's a reptile last time i checked."

his friends instantly laughed. a specific asian male snorted coffee up his nose, before wincing and having watery eyes. this just caused the rest to laugh more.

including the blond.

"bloody fucking hell, you're such a numpty." he groaned, putting his face in his hands.

"uh, no i'm not."

"uh, yes you are." he rolled his eyes. "my name is newt."

oh.

well that just got awkward.

and newt could probably tell how mortified he was, by the way he was grinning. 

thomas just stared, probably done with everything. 

"ok. i'm done." his face has gone pink, and he looked like he could just flop and die of embarrassment.

"aww, tommy! don't be so embarrassed! it's okay." 

when thomas didn't respond, newt raised an eyebrow. 

"did nobody teach you it's rude to stare?" he asked, faking a pout.

the brunet regained his composure, shaking his head to snap out of his trance. "i dunno, i mean i was always taught to admire artwork whenever i see it."

now it was newt's time to die, then compose himself. he paused for a second, looking up at thomas with half lidded eyes. 

"flattering, really. but, somebody's got to pin the artwork on the wall haven't they? are you saying you will, tommy?"

the way he said tommy made thomas die right then and there. he started stammering, earning a laugh out of everyone on the table. 

"cat got your tongue, love?" 

"oh i fucking hate you." he whined, flopping his head back. 

"i think what he's trying to say is 'can i have your number'." brenda supplied, walking in on the scene. "tom, stop being such a gay disaster." 

"i think that's impossible for us both." newt scoffed. "have you ever met a gay who's not a disaster?"

she pondered. "shit, no i haven't. you got yourself a smart one, tom. proud of you. almost as pretty as teresa. oh my god, she's so pretty! i love her-" 

"please shut the fuck up about my sister."

"uh, excuse me, this is payback for all your whiny-simpy moments over mr.fandomlover over here." she folded her arms, raising an eyebrow.

thomas copied the actions. "uh, excuse me, you get pissed about him too."

"uh, only because you talk about him so much."

"uh, no i do not."

"uh, yes you do. you've probably gotten like 500 fucking boners over him." she grimaced. "gross. i hate men."

newt snorted. "aww, tommy, it's human nature, don't be embarrassed. i can help if you want."

"fuck you. i hate society."

"excuse you, i would be great at prime minister." brenda scoffed.

"you'd make a rule where a certain thomas agnes cannot speak." 

"would that not benefit us all?"

"okay both of you shut the fuck up, i want tommy's number now." newt got his phone out and handed it to thomas, who was mumbling incoherently and angrily under his breath. 

"why thank you, tommy." 

yep, thomas agnes gets very annoyed when certain customers don't do certain things.

but with newt?

it might just be an exception.