Part 2

I zone in and out of reality every second. From Brenda's screams to the mumbled voice opposite me.

I sit with Brenda and listen to hear little whimpers of pain. I just wished more than anything in the world that I could take her pain and make it mine.

"Just then..." She mumbles "why'd you stick your neck out for me?"

I shrug and reach out,taking her hand in mine and giving it a little squeeze of reassurance. Because it's what we do I thought. "Foolish naive hope." I lie "that if I'm ever that far up shit-creek,somebody might do the same for me. Guess I'm  even a bigger dumbass than me." We both laugh a little "what I mean is... You're my friend. I want to save you. To meet you was fate. To become your friend was only my personal choice."

But to fall in love with you was over my power.

I panic as those thoughts slip into my head. But they weren't scary,they were more overwhelming and wonderful. "Brenda,keep who you care about close. Even if they leave tonight,I'm not going. I'm not leaving you."

She smiles up at me "I'm going to keep this close." She croaks out a signals to the Walkie laying beside her pillow "you have yours,right?"

"You bet." I hold up mine with a reassuring smile. "My hearts with you,Brenda,no matter how it turns out. My heart is with all of them and I think that even if we got split and forget each other,we'll remember in our dreams."

I don't fear the fire,I simply become it.

"Y/N? Y/N? Can you hear me?"

I look up to see Teresa sitting a far distance at the opposite side of the table. She looked well put together in a white lab coat. She was the predator and I was the prey.

I shake my head and look at my hands chained together,red marks under the chains. I wince and look back up at her. "Just take me..." I whisper "leave the others alone."

"You know I can't do that!" She objects "everything we're doing here is working."

"People are a resource!" I snap,shooting her a glare "don't you get that?"

"I just wanted you to know." She doesn't answer my question.

"After all you've done to us... Can I ask something of you?"

"Of course Y/N." She gets up,edging a little closer to me. Slowly,though, as if I was a loaded gun.

"Let Minho go. And give me my Walkie back."

"I can't grant you wish one,I'm sorry for that. But here," she passes me the walkie and I clutch it tight to me. I switched it on and heard the static sound. It still worked!

"Thank you..." I smile up at her "thank you..."

"Brenda has the other half?" She leans against the wall "Y/N it's been months. She's probably far gone by now."

"No. She's alive." I hold down the button "Brenda? Brenda it's Y/N. Please... If you're out there just give me a sign. Please..." Nothing. I look up to Teresa "this isn't over. She's out there somewhere. Do whatever you want to me... Just... Please don't hurt my friends,our friends."

She sighs and walks to the door,pressing the button to open it as guards walk through and lift me up "You know I can't make that promise Y/N."

I scoff "bullshit. You can make promises Teresa. You just need to get better at keeping them."

We had found the Right Arm and for what I could see we all had made it out alive. As survivors,not winners.

The infection spread for Brenda and all I could do was sit there day after day watching her die,and I couldn't do anything about it. I swore to myself to stay with her incase something went wrong,I lay with her every night and just told her that "it is going to be okay"  over and over. What happened to her was out of my control now. I can still hear her's and Newt's screams as I was dragged away by Wicked into that helicopter. They play in my mind every second of everyday. It was unbearable. Every moment worse than the last.

The blurry image of Newt flickers on and off inside of my head as eventually he becomes clear. I cup his cheek,tears streaming desperately down my face "you're safe!?"

He nods rapidly though his eyes burn with fear "there's a boat... We took it to safety, where nothing can hurt us anymore."

I smile with relief,Newt was going to be okay "Was she fast?"

"I couldn't keep up with it."

"She,Newt." I choke out "you call boats she." I cling to him "and Brenda? Did she make it? Did you see?"

"She's gone Y/N..." Newt cries "I'm sorry."

I burst awake and grip onto the railing of the bed. There's no relief in waking from nightmares. I grab the walkie from under my pillow and switch it on frantically. "Brenda can you hear me!?" I cry desperately into the walkie. But all I hear is static noise. She was gone. I slam the walkie back down and throw myself back onto the mattress,screaming internally out in anger. I lay in the small cot opposite Minho's. We had become very familiar with each other's screams. I had got perfectly used to listening to his cries at night and it felt shucking terrible to not be able to help. I lay awake with the walkie clutched in my arms as I hear the familiar sniffle from Minho. I crawl out of my bed and kneel beside his.

"Minho..." I whisper but he lays facing away from me,his body shivering. I place a hand on his shoulder and stroke the cold street "Minho I'm here."

"I can't... Do this..." He whispers shakily. "You have to get me something. A knife,a gun..."

My heart pounds "for Teresa?"

"No! For me... If they have me they'll use me to hurt my friends,our friends. And there is nothing I can do. Except make sure I'm not alive so they don't get the chance. So Y/N... Please... Help me end it."

"Stop it." My voice cracks,luckily he can't see the tears pricking in my eyes. "You can't give up. I won't let you... I know you're afraid. But we can't... Die. We've made it this far so we can't turn back. Some people can't give up,like us." I press a kiss to his shoulder and rest my head on his chest "that's who we are. We fought to be here,but we have to keep fighting." I wipe a tear from his eyes and gently trace a pattern on his wrist. My priority now was keeping Minho alive until the others came to find us. I had to keep living to save him.

I had stretched onto the wall a tally of the days I had been here for. Twice a day I'd try to call Brenda but she never came back. My nail starched the 353th mark into the wall as I turn to Minho who was weak and beaten down. He could barely keep his eyes open.

"How long we got?" He wheezes out.

"I think lunch is in twenty minutes." I lie. Janson wasn't letting us have lunch today,I'd resorted to either eating my finger nails or pieces of the foam in the mattress.

He manages to shake his head,I could hear the hunger and pain in his voice "I wasn't talking about that."

I suck in a breath and lean down to him,pulling his head into my chest "I got you." I stroke his hair. I flashback to the conversation that I had had with Teresa 14 days ago. "Minho has to survive," I told her "we have to do whatever it takes to save him." She clearly ignored that. I let out an uneasy laugh as I start to cry "thank shuck we don't look like what we've been through." I couldn't-not cry. I duck my head and cling to him tight "you're gonna make it Minho. The both us,we will. That's the hard part."

The door slams open to reveal two guards and Janson. They smirk down at us like we're a meal and they haven't ate for weeks. I clutch Minho tighter.

"Don't..." I snarl at them "he's so weak. Just take me."

"Shut up!" Janson snarls back "seize him."

Minho is snatched away from me as Janson holds me back. I scream and try to grab Minho back but he was too weak to move. He just lay there,hardly conscious in the guards arms.

"Minho!" I scream out his name as I still struggle against Janson's grip. I watch Minho try to choke out my name as he's carried away "No... No. PLEASE!" I scream,tears cloud my vision "LEAVE HIM ALONE! PLEASE LEAVE HIM ALONE!"

The door slams shut between us as I feel something sharp injected into my neck. I let out a cry of pain as my head hits the cold floor,the tears fall from my cheeks and I struggle to breathe as my vision blurs "I... Love... You... Brenda..."

It takes me a while to realise where I am as my eyes flutter open. My instinct for the last 353 days was to call out for Minho to make sure he was okay. But he wasn't here when I called. Instead I saw Teresa,staring blankly at me. I try to throw myself at her to cause some harm but my hands were tied down.

"Thomas is here." She declares "and... So is Brenda."

"Is she safe?"

"Of course she is." Teresa rolls her eyes and scribbles onto a clipboard "she's immune. Just like you. You got lucky in this life."

I scoff "I'm about to be killed by the bitch who hurt my friends. You call that lucky?"

She shakes her head "I meant Brenda. Your girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend..." I whisper. Me and her were just strangers with the same damn hunger to be touched,to be loved... To feel anything at all..  "it's not like that. I mean... I want her to be, but she isn't-"

"Y/N. Shut up. I'm sorry." Teresa quickly undoes the straps holding me down,struggling for breath. "Okay..." She helps me stand and I rub my wrists "here's your chance take it."

My eyes widen in shock. She was letting me go? I run to the door but stop and turn round to look at her for hopefully the last time "I'm grateful."

She smiles back and nods "the day will come when you won't be."

I nod,barely acknowledging her words as I sprint to where I knew Minho was-the medwing. I knew I didn't have much time.

I was terrified and tired of all of this. So tired,so sick and tired. If death came to greet me now I'd welcome it with open arms. Please help me. It's like the walks are caving in. Sometimes I feel like giving up. But I just can't. Because it isn't in my blood.

I stop outside a large room where guard uniforms were hung. I grab a red and grey one and throw on a mask over,not even bothering to look in my reflection anymore. Because it didn't matter. I snatch a gun (despite having no idea how to use it) and find he nearest elevator,slamming the lift to the ground floor. My heart was racing as the door pings open,I find the exit and just run- no idea where I was going. I just had to run. The loud screams and fire in the distance stop me. I remove my mask to see a group huddled around each other. Maybe they could help me. I sprint over "Hey! What are you-" I stop as the group turns to me. Minho- who looked a loss less broken than the last time I had seen him,Thomas who gazes at me in relief,some random guy with dirty blonde hair and a concerned look upon his face. And Newt... Eyes the same black colour as the liquid spewing out of his mouth. I take in the deep veins across his body and fall down to his level.

"Newt.... Newt can you hear me?" I pull him to me and he nods weakly.

"Y/N..." He coughs up some more gunk "you're alive?"

"Yes. Yes I'm okay... Fuck I missed you." I pull him into my arms,no clue what was going on. Just I knew something really bad was going to happy.

"Take Gally and Y/N to cover you." Thomas instructs Minho "meet us by the tunnels with the serum. Go now."

The three of us stand but Minho's pulled back softly by Newt who grips the sleeve of Minho's jacket and grits his teeth. "Thank you,Minho. Thank you."

"Just hold on,okay?" Minho whispers. He stands up and begins to walk away but I couldn't leave. Not without saying some sort of goodbye. I squeeze my eyes shut tight for a few seconds and force myself not to cry. I lean down and take Newt's shaky hands in mine. I look into his dark eyes and wipe at the black puke with my sleeve.

"All messed up and you still look like a fucking masterpiece." I laugh shakily and he manages to force a smile. "When I see you again with the serum we can joke about this in a place we call home. Just hold on okay?"

Newt nods and let's out a little grunt in pain "I love you... Y/N."

"I love you too." I pull him into a tight hug "don't... Forget it though."

"I won't..." He reaches out to motion to his pocket. I reach in and pull out a frayed brown wristband "mine from.... The Glade. I want you to-"

I kiss his forehead to stop him from finishing his sentence "thank you Newt." I slide it on my wrist and give a nod to Thomas as I sprint ahed with Minho and Gally. It was Gally who got us to the berg.

"BRENDA!" Minho yells "Where's the serum?"

Brenda throws a small tube at Minho and him and Gally instantly run back to where Newt and Thomas were. I just stand there,heart pounding as I run to her,pulling her tightly into my arms. She was okay. She was safe. I pull back and hold her close to me,swearing not to let her go.

"I never gave up on you..." I pant out "I called you every night, every night for-"

"353 days," she says breathlessly "I heard."

I nod and cling to her "we.... Have to save newt."

"I know..." She smiles and cups my cheek,holding up some more blue liquid "let's go."

I wasn't expecting to see what I saw.

Minho and Fry knelt before a corpse,Brenda and Gally were frozen still. As I walked closer I tried to convince myself in anyway I could that it wasn't what I thought it was. But of course it was- we weren't lucky in this life.

Newt was gone.

I shake my head and collapse to my knees beside Minho,who looks at me with tear stained eyes. I wanted to cry but all my tears had been used up. I ghost the tips of my fingers across his eyes and closed them for him. He looked almost peaceful.

"I'm sorry..." I whisper to him "I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."

"It wasn't your fault..." Minho just looks down at Newt.

"Yes it was."

"No." He slowly pulls the knife from Newt's chest and zips up his jacket "it wasn't... You're one of the good things in this world. That's what Newt thought, and he would know... Because he was one of the good things too."

I nod and bite down hard on my bottom lip,forcing myself not to cry. "Thomas..." I see him standing above me. He shakes his head and tries to speak but only a small choked noise escaped his throat. "Thomas please..." I beg but he leans down to pick up the gun and walks away into the distance. I sob and lean down to Newt,resting my head on his chest "he... He was supposed to come back..." I sob,clutching onto his body. "He was supposed to make it. He... Was supposed to come back..."

//

I lay on the beach and watch the sky above me,Newt's wristband clutched in my right hand as I watch the sky above me. I kept telling myself that Newt was in a better place and that he didn't have to suffer anymore. I hope I was right.

"Y/N?" Brenda's voice breaks me out of my trace. She walks towards me slowly and I stand myself up,dusting the sand off my jeans. I give her a weak smile and slide on Newt's wristband.

"You look beautiful." I tell her and she blushes,looking down and I do the same. I see her hand reach out slightly and I take it in mine. Every little thing Brenda does is magic and I just wanted to freeze this moment and live in it forever. I look up at her and smile,my heart was a protest that I let rally against my ribs. We had lost a lot to get this far,but we were here. We were alive. Now all I could think is how much I wanted to kiss her and remind her that I would never give up on her ever. What makes people like me and her brave is our willingness to live through our terrible lives and hold our heads up high the next day.

"Don't live life in fear." I remind her,watching her hands place themselves on my shoulders "Because you are stronger now, after all the crap has happened, than you ever were back before it started."

She lets out a small laugh and I admire her features. Shuck I loved that laugh. I tilt my face and press a long kiss to her soft lips. It was the way I dreamed it would be,the kind of kiss that inspires stars to climb into the sky and light up the entire world.

We were okay.

Breathing through corrupted lungs. But we were breathing. We were the lucky ones.

From the perfect start to the finish line.