Guys we are almost at 1 million what even!? Thank you so bloody much.

This wasn't a request. Well it was my own request to me. I love the tmr guys but Brenda has a special place in my heart and I love her deeply❤️So... Apologises if this gets too soppy and deep as this as I imagined Y/N as me. Enjoy guys. I love you all lots x

Damn this is going to be a long imagine. I wrote Y/N as me (she's still called Y/N) but this is kinda my Maze Runner story if I was there. I hope you enjoy! X

Part 1

I lay in the Scorch,watching the stars above me which were scattered in the night sky. I lay at the edge of my broken group of pretty new friends- Thomas, Newt, Minho, Aris, Frypan and Teresa. I hadn't been with them for long. I barely even knew anything about them,I just knew that we'd all been through hell and back to get here. When you've suffered a great deal in life, each additional pain is both unbearable and trifling. Everyone suffers at least one nightmare in their lifetime. It's what unites us. The trick is not to let it destroy your trust in others when that happens. Don't let them take that from you.

I hadn't been in a Maze like my friends had. I couldn't remember much- just loud screams,gunshots and this woman's voice saying the same thing over and over. It's like everything shifts in a moment. When you step out of your body. You step out and you see where you are really clearly and you think... fuck this shit.

I rub at my tired eyes and turn onto my side where I see Newt doing the same thing. I had noticed this within the three days of knowing him that when his eyes were closed,Newt looked a lot less broken.

"You should be asleep..." I mumble to him "or,you enjoying the view too much?"

"No..." he mumbles,moving to lay on his back "I'm thinking."

"About what?" He doesn't respond to my question so I decide to answer it for him. "You think Thomas is leading us nowhere?" He nods in response and I scoff quietly "you know Newt,you really should have more faith in a guy who according to you lead you out of a maze full of robotic monsters. Don't you think?"

"I have faith. I'd follow him anywhere." Newt responds "I just... don't want to loose anyone else."

"I understand." I nod. My heart can't take this. "You know everything's going to work out,right?"

"I think so..." he nods and turns to lay on his face,facing me. "Thomas saved my life."

"I know," I whisper "he saved mine too. What do you want to find Newt?"

"I don't care about myself Y/N. I want my friends to be happy... find somewhere safe for them. They deserve to be happy." And he didn't!? "What do you want Y/N?"

I turn to lay on my back as I watch the night sky. "I want to see beauty. In the ugly, in the suffering, in the daily, in all the days before I die, the moments before I sleep. I'm a glass half-full kinda girl." I manage to make Newt laugh and that makes me happy. He deserved to smile more. I edge closer so my head is rested on his chest,he wraps his arms tightly around me and my eyes grow heavy as I fall into a deep sleep. I'm waken what seems like minutes later to a Thomas who gently shakes Newt awake,commanding him to wake up. I do the same and stumble to my feet,holding Newt close to me by his the sleeve of his jacket as a loud noise erupts in the sky.

"It's lights!" Thomas points ahed to a building in the distance.

I shake my head "it's too early for this shit!" I'm cut off when the sky strikes again "holy... Shit..."

"Come on!" Thomas yells as I scoop my bag up off the floor. I see the fear in Newt's eyes,most likely of probably having to run on his poor leg. "I got it..." I scoop up his back for him and throw it over my shoulder. I make sure he's close as we begin to sprint,hearing the screams from the sky above up and the strikes of lightning. It was Frypan who reached the door,then Teresa- the pair screaming at us all to keep moving. But a strike erupts meters away, I hear a yell as I see Minho laying on the ground. I let go of the door and dash to Minho. I help him up with Newt and we carry his heavy body into the dark room.

"Shit..." I lay him down "is... he okay?" I realised that even though I didn't know Minho as much as the others did,I would still be damaged if he got hurt and I could barely recall having much of a conversation with him. Thomas pushes me back a little as he himself leans over Minho,just begging him to wake up.

"Come on man!" Newt coaxes. Tugging a little at Minho's black jacket. I hear a loud gasp and a head shoot up. The sighs of relief alerted me that Minho was okay. I watch from a distance away from the group I wasn't welcome in as they all hug. I knew I had to accept it. They didn't care for me and never would. I needed to get used to that.

"Can't you smell that?" Teresa winces as she steps ahed of he others "like dead bodies..."

I scoff at her whining. "It's probably just your breath wafting back into your face." I step back and hear a roar in my ear. I let out a scream as I see this monster in chains,skin peeling off and clothes torn.

"Holy shit what happened to you!?" I yell at it but it just screeches in response. Newt drags me back and we notice these things were chained up. "Are... They real?"

"The flare..." I hear Newt mutter under his breath.

"I see you met our guard dogs." Lights flicker on to reveal a figure standing there with a smile on her face. A pretty teenager,probably around my age. With short brown hair and dark eyes which looked like they were hiding too much to imagine. I just stood behind Newt,staring blankly at probably the most beautiful person I'd ever seen in my life. She takes us all in and snorts a little. "You guys look like shit. Follow me. Not like you have much of a choice. I'm Brenda by the way."

It was Minho who took one for the team and headed up the stairs first,then Newt,then Fry. I start to climb up but I'm yanked gently back by a strong grip on my shoulder.

"Wait Y/N!" Thomas pulls me back from the steps "you think we should be doing this? Can we trust her?"

"I don't think we have much of a choice," I whisper to him.

"Why do you trust her?"

"Not everybody can be bad." I answer "I'm a fighter. I've killed. And if she really is evil then I'll kill her too. But for now,she's just lost as us. We have to help her."

Thomas reluctantly sighs and nods. "You're in charge of her. I just... Don't want her to hurt you."

I smile and pat his shoulder "we're in this together Thomas. I won't let you down. My blood,my family,is standing right here." I crumble into his arms and hold him tight in my arms for a few seconds. I wanted to thank him but I realised he'd continue to hate himself no matter what I said to him so I remained silent.

I smile a little at his words. Thomas didn't trust me one bit at first. That I cannot blame him for. But he wasn't exactly subtle about it.
"What do you hate me so much?"
"I don't hate you. How can I hate you. I barely know you."
"Yeah,but you don't want me in your group."
"Correct."
"Why not?"
"Because you're annoying!"

"Ever get the feeling the whole worlds against you?" He man sighs out,placing his hands on his hips. I raise a brow at his pointless question and turn to Newt who gives me the same look. "Three questions... Where did you come from,where are you going... And how that I profit?"

"The mountains..." Thomas mumbles "looking for the Right-Arm."

We hear a few cackles of laughs around us "goddamn." One man snarls and yanks at my jacket "Shit kid. Lighten up,at least cry a little."

"These kids won't last long..." I hear a mumble from behind him.

I scoff and look him dead in the eye "wanna bet?"

I see the mans face tighten into a glare "tie them up. They ain't going nowhere." We're all immediately sized and yanked one by one into a gloomy room,there were ropes tied to the ceiling and I could hear the groans from the monsters below. We try to run but it seemed pointless as we were strung up by our feet one by one. Minho who was opposite,strung upside down staring at me "glad I got to meet you all before you died." I say to him with a sarcastic smile.

"Shut up Y/N." Minho growls "I thought you told us to trust your new girlfriend."

I scoff "don't make this my mistake Minho... we can get out of this easily."

It was Teresa who figured out how to save us. And it was me she untied last,I decided to take offence. We followed Brenda through the building and on the way I snuck two Walkie Radios in my jacket pocket as I escaped with the rest,leaving Thomas and Brenda behind. Before I had the chance I managed to look out the broken window. The image of Janson in that helicopter above set my blood boiling. "Asshole." I mumble and shove my middle finger up in the air before turning back to the others.

I think I understand what people mean to each other. These people are my family... I realised in that moment that I'd be willing to die for these people and that I'd do anything for them,no matter what the cost. 

"Y/N." Newt edges closer to me "I wanted to thank you. For... being a bloody annoying piece of clunk but also... giving me hope to keep going."

I give him a warm smile and nudge his shoulder. "I'll accept your thanks. But you got yourself here,not me. Hope..."

He raises a brow "hope?"

I lean down to tie up my lace and adjust my knee pads. "Yes. Hope." I stand up and scruff his hair "it is the only thing stronger than fear. Just..." I look into his peaceful eyes which had seen too much death,too much pain. "Stay with me... Please... Please don't..." I close my eyes and shake my head "stay..."

"Hey... Hey it's okay." He pulls him into his arms and I hold him tight "I won't go anywhere. I got you... I got you..."

It was a dangerous world out there. I knew that. I knew that things weren't easy and I knew that I couldn't protect my friends. That didn't mean I couldn't try. I wanted Newt to live and never have to suffer again. But I'm no good at words even when I craved to tell him everything. Everything I meant to say to him was- 'you've given a worth and happiness to my life that I had no right to believe could ever exist'. But I stay quiet and hold him close,praying I'd never loose him. We stood by a large smashed glass door,through it we could see our reflections. They glared back at us.

"Look directly into every mirror Newt." I tell him,my eyes remained on the glass and not my best friend. "Realise our reflection is the first sentence to a story, and our story starts: We were here."

"Guys in here!" Minho voices yells. I jump in Newt's arms as we slam open the doors,ignoring our reflections this time as we see an unconscious Thomas wrapped in Teresa's arms. Brenda stood leaned against a wall,staring at us all blankly;she looked too weak for her own good.

"Thank fuck you two are safe!" I pull her into my arms "here..." I pass her the 2nd Walkie "just incase we ever get split again."

She beams at me "Thanks Y/N." I see a little sweat break out from her forehead and I start to worry deeply "Brenda..." I place a hand on her forehead "you're boiling. Is everything okay?"

She shakes her hair and I watch her lip quiver. Concern and guilt falls over me as I pull her into another room. I help her sit and close the door of the small closet. "Brenda what's wrong?" I kneel beside her.

"Why do you act so sarcastic and oblivious all the time? Like you don't belong in this world..."

I smile and look down "because I don't." I shrug "I find it best not to think about it."

"Doesn't your boyfriend talk to you about it?"

"I'm sorry what!?" I scoff "who's my boyfriend?"

"The blonde one... I've seen the way you look at him. If you could see it... the way you look at him I bet you'd be amazed at the sight."

I shake my head "he's not my boyfriend. Newt is one of the only people who makes me feel like I belong. I'm not letting him get hurt. Ever. I'd die before I let anything happen to him. The rest of the group don't care enough and they'd be fine if I died."

"But the way you handled yourself... Back there... Your smart,your brave,you're a leader." She says "but you don't know it and your friends don't wanna know it."

I shake my head "they're not my friends."

"So why are you helping them?"

"Because they deserve to live." I admit "so do you."

"But I won't..." She whimpers "promise you won't tell?"

"Promise?" I raise my brow at the unfamiliar word.

"It means something you can't break."

"Okay." I nod "I promise."

She nods and slowly with shaky hands lights up the hem of her trousers,pulling it up to reveal a dark red bloody bite. My eyes widen as I rest my fingers a few centimetres away. "Brenda..." I whisper "we'll figure this out... We can."

"Promise?" She starts to cry.

I look up and pull her into my arms,stroking her short hair and rocking her body against mine. "I promise." I swear to her.

I had no clue how I could safe her,let alone protect her. It was my mission now. I had to learn to help people. I somehow must become what I'm not, sacrificing what I am, to inherit the masquerade of what I will be to help my friends. And,to help the girl who had my heart racing at every glance,who's smile lit up my heart and filled it with hope and joy.

I had to save her or live with the regret of not for the rest of my life.

~