The requests will start on Tuesday guys!!

You woke up hours before anyone else would to walk down to the shore to where the large memory rock was. You sit by it and recite the names over and over,because you didn't want to forget the ones you lost.

"Y/N." You turn around to see Gally. He gives you a weak smile and sits beside you. You trusted Gally now,he was a good friend and you didn't want to loose him. "Are you okay?"

"Stupid question," you give him a short smile "are you okay?"

"Yeah. I usually come here early to look at the names. Chuck's in particular."

"You were stung." You declare "it wasn't your fault."

"He deserved to be here..." Gally whispers "I don't."

You nod and wipe a tear from your eye. "I've been counting dates... It's the 18th and it's the second month of this year..."

"Yeah?" Gally raises a brow "18th February?"

You nod,playing with your hands as you watch the calm sea. "I've just turned 18 and I think I understand what people mean to each other."

"It's Newt isn't it?" Gally says and you feel your heart explode.

"Yes..." You whisper and close your eyes for a few seconds "Newt..." You could barely say his name "he is the one I couldn't save. I'm sorry. I have to... I can't talk about this." You stand up and head to the shower block. You turn on the water to a cold temperature and remove only your jacket,shoes and socks before sitting under the water. The water soaks you instantly and you gasp at the temperature. You were frozen for about ten minutes,watching the water slowly trickle into the drain.

"There is a place for us out there somewhere."

You push your wet hair back from your eyes and pull your knees up,resting your chin on them.

"The most important thing is that we all have each other. Because we're all in this together."

You shake your head and let out a gentle cry "I'm sorry..." You whimper before bursting into tears.

Newt was a dear friend. Your fellow Glader meant everything to you. Newt was good and kind and too precious for this world. When he died, all things soft and beautiful and bright were buried with him to the point where there was nothing good left. It always hurt when you watched someone die. And it didn't matter if it's slow or fast, whether it's a long drawn-out disease or an unexpected accident. When they're gone the world turns upside down and you felt like you were left holding on, trying not to fall off. Newt was there for you and your boyfriend Thomas in your darkest hours... He never gave up on either of you. That was a debt you were never able to repay.

"Y/N what the hell are you doing!?" Thomas cries in shock,hoisting you up "Y/N you're soaked!"

"No shit Thomas!" You spit at him.

"Relax its okay," he cups your face softly "I'll get you dry. It's okay,don't worry sweetheart." He goes to remove your shirt but you shove him back. The tears falling down your face as you glare at Thomas.

"No! I hate what you're doing. I HATE YOU FOR DOING THIS!" You yell.

"Doing what?" Thomas whispers.

"Your pretending like everything's okay... As if... Like... Like we didn't kill Newt!" You sob.

"Y/N..." You watch Thomas start to cry too. He pulls you into his arms and you sob against his chest. "You remember? When I first came to the Glade... I... Ben attacked me. Newt saved me. Newt saved me right at the start and I couldn't save him."

You pull back and rest your forehead against his "this wasn't yours to fix alone. Newt was proud of you... I know it."

Thomas wipes his eyes and nods "He was proud of you too."

You nod and press a quick kiss to his lips. You don't say anything else but you take his hand in yours and you had down to the shore to where the rock stood. You give Thomas a shaky nod and focus on where Minho had carved Newt's name.

"He told me... I deserved to be happy." Thomas declares as he hands you a piece of paper "it's all on there. It's from him."

You clutch at the note and wipe your eyes "tell me it gets easier..." You whisper "all of this."

"It will." He squeezes your hand gently "we're safe here. I know.... We lost people. But Newt would've wanted us to be happy. He wasn't scared of dying,he was scared of forgetting. He remembered everything. He died loved." He pulls you into his chest and kisses your forehead. "This is our safe place. We can have lives here and we can live our lives happily ever after the best we can."

You nod. Newt always talked of a safe place he would never make it to whilst you did. "Thank you for this..." You nod to the note and sit on the sand,listening to the sea as you open up the note. You told yourself not to cry but you decided to face fact- it was supposed to hurt.

Dear Thomas,

This is the first letter I could remember writing. Obviously, I don't know if I wrote any before the Maze. But even if it's not my first, it's likely to be my last. I want you to know that I'm not scared. Well, not of dying, anyway. It's more forgetting. It's losing myself to this virus, that's what scares me. So every night, I've been saying their names out loud. Alby. Winston. Chuck. And I just repeat them over and over like a prayer, and it - And it all comes flooding back. Just the little things like where the sun used to hit the Glade at that perfect moment right before it slipped beneath the walls. And I remember the taste of Frypan's stew. I never thought I'd miss that stuff so much. And I remember you. From the first time you came up in the box, just a scared little Greenie who couldn't even remember his own name. But from that moment you ran into the Maze, I knew I would follow you anywhere. And I have. We all have. If I could do it all over again, I would. And I wouldn't change a thing. My hope for you: when you're looking back years from now, you'll be able to say the same. The future is in your hands now, Tommy. I know you'll find a way to do what's right. You always have. Take care of everyone for me. And take care of yourself. You deserve to be happy.

Thank you for being my friend.

Goodbye mate.

Newt.

You let out a small smile and fold the note back up,clutching it tightly in your hands.

"Y/N?" You turn to see Newt sitting beside you. Your eyes light up in panic.

"You're not real..." You whisper. You kept your eyes locked on him,afraid that if you moved them he'd drift away.

"I know I'm not real..." He chuckles "happy 18th birthday Y/N."

"I'll tell Thomas I saw you... We miss you."

He nods and gives you a kind smile "me and him? We talk everyday." He places a hand on your shoulder "you know everything's going to work out,right? You made it. I always knew you would Y/N. You are going to be happy Y/N,you're going to live this wonderful life with Thomas,Minho,Brenda,Frypan,Gally... That was the dream all along right?"

"I'm sorry..." You whisper "I should've saved you."

"You couldn't have Y/N. You just keep going. You need to tell yourself that everything is going to be okay."

"You have hope? You're a bloody idiot Newt..." You let out a shaky laugh.

He chuckles and pats your shoulder again. You missed his laugh,you missed his smile "I never said otherwise."

"Y/N!" Minho calls over to you "come on,Frypan cooked some bacon. It's the best! If you don't come in ten seconds I'll eat yours for ya!"

"I'll be two minutes tops." You nod to Minho and he nodded back,clearly understanding. You turn back to Newt and stand up "Newt,you coming?"

He nods with a warm smile "I'm just going to watch the sea a bit longer. It's peaceful. I'll meet you there?"

"Okay." You nod back "see you. Thank you,for everything." You give him your kindest smile before walking off to the others.