Alexander’s Confucius-style speech worked. The next morning, I woke up from a long slumber - and I mean that literally and figuratively.

You know it’s time to give the AP English classes a break when you wake up thinking figuratively.

Breakfast was an awkward affair that morning. It was a Saturday, which meant my parents were at home.  It was also only a week after I crushed their lifelong dreams, which meant my parents were oozing disgustingly fake cheerfulness while pretending there wasn’t a giant elephant of failure sitting in the room. Dad was, for the most part, still freezing me out. Mom had taken to tiptoeing around me whenever I was in the same room, like she thought I might run at her and take a chomp out of her leg. Oh yeah, and she hid all the knives when she thought I wasn’t looking.

“Nancy, it is just one rejection. Don’t do drastic thing, okay?” Mom told me patronizingly as she pretended not to stick the kitchen scissors in her pocket..

“Mom, I’m not going to stab myself.”

“I’m more scared of you stab me!”

It was good to know my parents always had my back. I wished we could just talk about my rejection over ice cream like a normal, healthy family would, instead of not-so-subtly hiding all the sharp objects in the house. My parents were some weirdly non-confrontational people.

It was just as well. The only thing I had on my mind that morning was getting my head back into a good place after my week of being in super-emo mode. Without once thinking about the monstrous pile of homework on my desk, I put on my headphones and began by writing out a list of all the things I liked about myself.

TEN REASONS NANCY PANG IS A GODDESS PERSONIFIED

1. I have really sexy hair. Like, shampoo commercial-worthy. Garnier Fructis wishes they could get a piece of this.

2. I might not be good at the performance arts like my brother, but I’m proud to say I am a pro audience member. Show me to a seat in an auditorium and I’ll clap the heck out of my hands.

3. I can (almost) lick my elbows. I just need to save up to get a tongue extension is all.

4. My singing voice has been a very valuable alternative to fire alarms.

5. My bargain shopping skills are unparalleled, second only to my parents’. Thanks, Asian parents.

6. I can play the song ‘Chopsticks’ backward on the piano, and it is fantastic.

7. I am really good at bullshitting my way through the Mandarin language...

8. ...And feigning deafness. Works every time I can’t understand what someone is speaking at me in Mandarin.

9. I always win at rock-paper-scissors. Always. That dynamite move has yet to fail me.

10. I literally dressed up as the Greek goddess Athena a few Halloweens ago.

Depression set in when I realized how shallow my life appeared on paper. Making this list was a step in the right direction, though. A step toward self-acceptance, a step toward recovery. Letting my silliness out (discovering I even had silliness in me, actually) was like taking a deep, refreshing breath after a century of sleep.

So what if I hadn’t reached my goal this time? So what if I Harvard had rejected me? I was still the same person I was before. I was still Nancy Pang, math geek extraordinaire. On Monday, I was going to give my presentation on The Mathematics of Love and ace it.

Or die trying.

Just kidding. But really.

With my mood the least emo that it had been in days, I logged onto Facebook and discovered a message waiting for me that lifted my spirits even further.

Alexander: So I have a swim meet this afternoon and I was wondering if you wanted to come along and watch.

Alexander: You know, if you’re not doing anything else.

I had been planning on doing homework...but screw that. I could hardly even believe what I was thinking, but I deserved a break. Plus, let’s just say that I was definitely not opposed to seeing Alexander run around half-naked all afternoon.

Nancy: Sure, but I’ll be cheering for the opposing team. :P

Alexander: ...

Nancy: It was a joke. Obviously I have to wait until I see which team has the cuter guys to cheer for them.

Alexander: Cuter guys?

Alexander: Who are you?

Nancy: Sorry for the excessive bad jokes, lol. I’m in a really good mood this morning. :)

Alexander: That’s awesome! I got hit by a hardboiled egg this morning.

Nancy: ???

Alexander: Anyway, I convinced Amelia and Louisa to come along. I know you guys have been having issues, so you can bond over my victory.

Nancy: Or we can bond over booing you as you lose all you races. :P

Alexander: Ha! I’ll make you eat those words.

Nancy: Not if you eat the other team’s dust first.

Alexander: Nancy Pang, you are a terrible, terrible person.

Nancy: You're the one who likes this terrible person.

As soon as I sent the message, I was shocked by my own forward-ness. My heart pounded in my chest. For a moment I was worried that Alexander would make things awkward...which, of course, he did.

Alexander: Touche. 

Alexander: ;) ;) ;)

Nancy: Ok, I’ll be at the meet if you stop doing that creepy wink thing.

Alexander: Roger that.

Nancy: Haha. See ya in a bit.

*****

I felt oddly excited yet nervous about going to Alexander’s swim meet that afternoon—excited because (okay, call me shallow; I am shallow) I would get to see him half-naked, and nervous because I was going to have to face Amelia and Louisa for the first time in weeks.

The thought of that was more terrifying than getting one hundred Harvard rejections. Sure, Alexander and I were on speaking terms again, but I had no idea how those two would react to my presence. Drowning me in the pool and laughing maniacally came to mind. I think I have a bit of an overactive imagination.

Mom and Dad went out grocery shopping for the afternoon, probably because the air of depression that had been following me around until recently had infiltrated every corner of the house. At least, they said they'd gone grocery shopping, but I knew what was really bothering them was my brother's absence. Kevin hadn't been replying to my messages, and though he'd finally talked to my parents a few days earlier, somehow it was sad to think that he might be too busy for us now.

I'd never admit this aloud, but I kind of missed my brother. Just a little.

I used the rest of the morning to think up some kind of gift I could use as reconciliation between my two best friends and me, a way to show that I really was sorry for blowing them off for the past month.

I had to admit that ditching them had been at terrible mistake. With Amelia soothing me and being the voice of reason, rejection would have been a lot easier to take. With Louisa making me crack up with the latest crazy thing she’d been up to, getting over rejection would have been a lot more fun.

I missed my friends. I loved my friends. And wouldn’t you know it—I couldn’t think up a single darn mathematical reason for why I liked those two lunatics so much. It was sad to admit, but I’d never realized how much I’d taken Amelia and Louisa for granted until I’d gone through a miserable experience without them.

I guess this just went to show that there were more important things in life than getting perfect grades or being “the kid who turned out right”: namely, friendship. Also bargain shopping. Mostly friendship.

I thought up a number of scenarios illustrating how my Terrifying Reunion With Two People Who Just About Hate My Guts would go.

Me: (Hands over gifts; puts hands up to protect face in case said gifts are thrown back in a violent, directed-at-my-face-with-intention-to-cause-pain manner) Hey, guys! Long time no…acknowledgment. How are you doing?

Amelia, I imagined, would be polite even if she were secretly sharpening a knife in her pocket. That’s just the kind of person she was. On the other hand, I could see Louisa flipping me off and unintentionally educating me in a slew of gangster swears. That’s just the kind of person she was.

Wow. My friends were terrible people. On second thought, maybe the smartest option was to flee the country while I still could.

When all was said and done, though, I knew I had to grit my teeth and just do it. So when the time for Alexander’s meet finally rolled around, I bought my gifts and headed over to the swim meet.

The scent of chlorine and the chatter of the audience hit me as I stepped through the doors into the school pool. Quite a few spectators had gathered already, and I spotted many speedo-clad guys milling about. I say ‘spotted’. It may have been something more along the lines of ‘drooled over’, ‘imagined marrying’, etc.

Alexander was nowhere to be found, though. That was sort of a letdown. Amelia and Louisa also hadn’t arrived yet. That was less of a letdown.

There was one long bench for the spectators to sit on, but after a few moments, I decided to stand instead. Benches in organized spots brought back bad memories. Let’s just say that there was a good reason—several, in fact—that I didn’t attend school sporting events, and it’s because the seating accommodation usually ranged somewhere between Very Sweaty n’ Squashed and I Can’t Even Tell If These Legs Are Mine Or Not.

“Nancy?”

My skin flashed hot when the sound of Alexander’s voice came from somewhere behind me. I turned around, and my greeting got stuck in my throat at the sight approaching me.

Alexander was shirtless.

Very much shirtless.

Shirtless was a good look on him.

And yes, indeed, he had been working out…a lot. Either that or he had taken Photoshopping abs to a whole new level. If I hadn’t known him for years, I never would have guessed him to be number one in academics at our school, too. Life just wasn’t fair.

Alexander waved his hand in front of me, and I flushed when I saw the little smirk on his face. Dammit—he knew he was attractive in nothing but swim trunks. “Hello? Earth to Nancy?”

“Y…you’re wet,” I said stupidly. Wow, good one. While you’re at it, why don’t you mention something about him having a face? Surely he is unaware of that, too.

His smile widened, which made me angrier. And more attracted to him. Dammit. “Oddly enough, that happens to me a lot in the pool.”

“Oh, you’re a funny man, Alexander.”

“You’ll find me even funnier if you think of this conversation in a less appropriate context.”

My eyes widened and I gagged when I realized what he meant “Ick! Did you really have to—?” The rest of my question died in my throat when my gaze fell upon two figures that had just entered the pool: Amelia and Louisa. Both of them made eye contact with me at the exact same moment, and we just stared at each other for an excessively awkward minute.

Alexander waved them over before I could. “Hey, guys! The reunion’s over here!”

“You are entirely too excited about this,” I muttered.

Alexander grinned and then ran his hand through his hair, the look on his face a little shier all of a sudden. “I’m here with the girl I like. What’s not to be excited about?”

Just hearing those words made me cringe and flush in second-hand embarrassment. “How do you…how do you say cheesy stuff like that without wanting to die of embarrassment?” I mumbled, looking anywhere but at Alexander.

“I do kind of want to die of embarrassment,” Alexander admitted. “What can I do about it if you’re too dense to get my meaning when I try to subtle, though?”

“I’m not dense.”

“Oh, I’m not so sure about that, Nancy,” piped up Amelia from behind me, which shocked me so badly that I nearly jumped into the pool.

Oh, no. They were here. I turned around toward Amelia apprehensively, but was surprised to find her grinning at me—and holding out a bag. “You know, Nancy Pang, I just can’t seem to figure you out. Sometimes, you’re this girl genius who can whip my butt on every calculus test all semester, but then you’ll prove yourself to be absolute rubbish when it comes to friends and romantic relationships.” She paused. “And yes, I did use the word ‘rubbish’ because I’ve been watching too much British TV, and it’s fantastic.”

I just stood there stupidly.

“That was the part where you also rant about my unreasonableness about the Thanksgiving holiday, and we hug and cry in public just to make everyone around us uncomfortable. No?” Amelia shrugged when I stared at her some more. “But it’s all good—we can skip that and go straight to the forgiveness. Nancy, you are one dense girl when it comes to friendships, but I’ll forgive you anyway because your awkwardness is entertaining. Truce?”

I blinked. I’d forgotten how fast Amelia could speak sometimes, and how overwhelming it was. “Um...what?”

“Good. Glad we’re friends again. Louisa?”

Louisa had been standing slightly off to the side. She looked a little unsure of herself for once, not at all like her cool, confident usual self. We stared at one another for a moment, and guilt washed over me when I remembered the terrible things I’d said to her weeks and weeks ago…and when I remembered that I was lusting after the same guy as her. I think I was the poster girl for Worst Friend Ever.

“Listen—” Louisa started.

“Hey, uh—” I said at the same time.

Another silence ensued. 

“Look, Louisa,” I blurted out in a rush before I lost my nerve, “I’m really sorry, okay? About everything. I don’t want things to be weird between us anymore. All that crap I said to you about you not doing well in school and stuff…that was really insensitive of me, and I want you to know that if I could, I would definitely take back what I said.” I paused, wondering if I was doing this apology thing right. “Also, I hope you don’t mind, but I still think Alexander is…well, he’s really…you know…” God, trying to find words to describe ‘smokin’ hot’ without using the actual phrase was like pulling teeth. “He’s…you know…quite a fetching…young…chap.”

Fetching young chap? Where the hell did that come from, and how could I send it back?

Louisa stared at me for so long that I began to inch away from the pool, just in case she was having funny ideas. Then she threw her head back and laughed. For an unnecessarily long time. Amelia joined in, too.

“That was the most outdated phrase I’ve ever heard in my life,” Louisa choked. “Even if I weren’t already over Alexander, I think I’d be over him once I heard someone calling him a ‘fetching young chap’.”

Amelia laughed so hard that she began pounding the wall. “Nancy, I honest to God am glad we’re friends.”

Part of me resented the fact that they were laughing so hard—come on, it hadn’t been that funny—but somehow, I ended up laughing along with them. Funny how friendships often end up like that.

It wasn’t until my grocery bag nearly fell out of my hands that I remembered my gift. “Guys, try not to worship me or anything, but I might have picked up a little something on the way here that—” With the gifts halfway out of the bag, my jaw dropped.

Amelia and Louisa held up identical grocery bags in their hands, and inside those bags…

“We all brought bubble tea?!” the three of us burst out at once.

Having friends who understand you can be scary sometimes. 

The meet was really exciting, and not just because we were pumped full of sugar from way too much bubble tea. Our school was neck-and-neck with the opposing team from Derose High School, and we basically went back-and-forth taking turns winning each event. Just before the last (and tie-breaking) event, Alexander came over to me, now in only his Speedo (a necessary detail to note). He was dripping wet, having already swum in a few other events. I liked his wet hair look. He looked sexily disheveled.

“How badly do you want me to win this thing?” Alexander asked.

I looked over at the other side of the pool, where a few Derose students were hooting and making faces at us. “Depends,” I said carefully. “Will winning this thing mean I get to push those idiot Derose kids into the pool?”

“That's probably illegal, but I'll make sure to be extra obnoxious to them about winning.”

“Oh, you think you've already won?” I scoffed. He basically already had, though. He was Alexander Lin.

“Depends. you promise me one thing, I’ll be more motivated to swim my fastest,” Alexander said, a little smile inching over the corner of his mouth.

I smiled too, my heart beating a little faster. Somehow I got the feeling that he was flirting. “And what’s that?”

“That one week from now, you’ll tell how you feel about me. I never heard your answer. Hey, I already told you,” Alexander said as if noticing the panic that flashed across my face. “I think it’s only fair that you do the same.”

Louisa and Amelia were smiling at me so hard that my face hurt just looking at them. I blushed and looked anywhere but at Alexander. “Sure,” I finally said. “But only if you get first place in this race and we win the meet.”

He shook the droplets out of his hair. “Piece of cake.”

“Big talk for the guy who came in third in his last race,” Louisa said loudly.

Alexander looked ready to retort, but one of his teammates yelled, “Captain, what’re you doing? The race is about to start!” He just shook his head and jumped into the water.

And guess what? I learned not to underestimate Alexander Lin that day. He won the race and won us the meet.

I guess all that was left was to tell him how I really felt.

I prayed for a zombie apocalypse to wipe out mankind before next Saturday.

*****

A/N - It seems like things are really wrapping up :') I've planned out the next few chapters and it looks like there's only going to be 5 left. There's still a lot loose ends to wrap up, and more on the Kevin situation, so I hope you'll stick around for the ending! I'm aiming for weekly updates from now through the end of November-ish, when this book will most likely end. Then I'll start posting my new book about Jenny (details still to be determined).

As always, please show your support by commenting/voting! :D Thanks a million for the support.