Less than a week. There was less than a week until my time with Harry was over, and then I was off to college to pursue my dream.

So how come I all of a sudden felt so unprepared and not-ready to go?

Staring at the sixth assignment, which I had finished about half an hour ago, I kept chewing at my lip as the thoughts raced through my head.

My whole life had been about going to med school. Well, ever since I realized I could help people this way, by becoming either a doctor or a nurse or some sort of caretaker. I just knew I had wanted to help people at a very young age, because nobody had been there to help me when I had needed it and I didn't want anyone to feel that kind of pain and loneliness. I remembered feeling rejected and confused, every time my mom would abandon me for one of her boyfriends or the times she forgot to come to my school plays. I used to love acting. We did plays like Romeo and Juliet, and while I was never a sucker for the love story, I did quite envy the way Romeo pined after Juliet, enough to follow her into death.

I remembered wondering if my mother would even grieve if I died.

It wasn't until I became older that I realized she had a condition. She didn't function the way everyone else did, because of the way her brain was wired, and that wasn't my fault. I was completely lovable, despite her lack of showing it to me. It was just that she wasn't capable.

But in my darkest hours, even whilst knowing what I did now, I sometimes felt as if... as if there was still something wrong with me. After all, she had no trouble loving all those men, did she? So how come she couldn't give me the same attention?

These were the reasons I had chosen to go into medicine, because I wanted to be able to help others feel informed about what to do in situations like these. I had felt so lost whenever she went off her meds, so clueless whenever she lashed out and had one of her episodes. Nobody told me what to do in those moments, how to survive and continue on. And it had left a mark.

There was a hurt little girl still hiding inside me, still affected by what happened back before I knew. A person who sometimes came out whenever my mom had one her episodes today, and it still hurt just the same, but at least I knew now what to do; Soldier on and remember it wasn't about me. I wasn't the problem. I wasn't... unlovable.

A tear trickled down my face all of a sudden. I didn't realize until I felt a salty taste on my lips, and I frustratedly wiped it away with a curse.

Ever since I had come here, I had been feeling different than I normally did. It was like something inside me had changed, and I had a feeling I knew what had done it.

Harry's words back in the pavilion had resonated deeper inside me that I had led on. I had tried not to think too deeply about it, but as I stared at the sixth assignment, done and finished now, I couldn't help but think about where I was headed when all of this was finally over.

And if I still wanted it.

'I think you're still trying to figure out who you are.'

I sighed deeply and closed my eyes. Figuring out who I was. For a long time, I thought I was someone who needed to take care of people. To help people, so they would never be helpless like I had been.

But after being here and being in Harry's presence, learning from him and taking in his wisdom words of how maybe I had let my mother dominate too large a part of my life, I wondered... if I was a person who was meant to help people... or if it was the little girl inside me that still wanted help?

Drying my eyes once again when I felt a few more tears fall down, I wiped my cheeks and sighed a last time.

Maybe I wasn't meant to take care of other people. Maybe I was meant to take care of myself. Maybe there was a part in me that was still broken and had thought that helping others would be the cure. Since I knew I could never personally help my mom and receive the gratitude I deserved from her, after all those years of bailing her out and being there for her unrequited, maybe I had thought that being there for others would heal my own wounds.

– I could never get my mother's love, but maybe those who had suffered with me... maybe they would understand my pain.

Standing up and taking a deep breath, I grabbed my assignment and headed out of my room and down the stairs, smelling the kitchen already working on dinner.

Right now, my emotions and my life felt all jumbled up, but as Harry had pointed out, I was a young woman. I wasn't meant to have it all together, and it was okay to doubt myself. To doubt the path I had chosen. All summer, I had been working towards a scholarship and a life I thought I wanted... only to now maybe realize, it wasn't what I wanted after all...

One thing was certain, though, I thought to myself as I halted in front of Harry's study and took another deep breath. I wasn't letting this opportunity pass me by. My dream or not, college was still the way forward for now, and passing up on getting into an Ivy League one was a choice even I wasn't careless enough to make.

I would just have to figure out the rest on the way.

Twisting the doorknob, I walked inside Harry's office, only to halt in my steps when I found Harry behind his desk. He was on the phone and looked up as I came in, smiling gingerly.

"Thank you very much," He spoke, while laying down a pen on his desk. "I'll be sure to get back to you later. Thank you. You, too."

Hanging up the phone, I lifted a brow as he leaned back in his chair and sighed heavily. "Who was that?"

He looked up at me and offered me a little smile as I stopped in front of his desk. "That was the Head of Administrations at the Mississauga College Department."

The head of the— "My college...?" I breathed out, suddenly short of breath. That was my college of choice. "Was that—"

"I was calling to inform them of a student that would be attending this semester, but was enrolling a little late due to certain circumstances. They were a little confused, but once I mentioned the Devon-scholarship..."

I pressed my hand over my heart when it felt like it was beating out of my chest. "I don't... understand. Are you saying I...?"

"Congratulations, Ms Berry; You're going to college."

I cupped my mouth and widened my eyes, because I had not been prepared for this today. I mean, I didn't even know that I had... but the assignments? "I haven't even finished all of the assignments yet!"

"That was never a requirement," He smiled when my eyes broadened even more. "I told you I wanted you to prove that you were a hard worker, and I believe that you have. I made the call this morning so they at least had a heads-up before you arrive next week."

One week. I was going to college in one week. I couldn't believe it.

"Shit," I whispered, feeling happy tears well up in my eyes. Don't you dare cry, bitch. "This is... thank you so much! I think I'm in shock."

Harry chuckled a little and picked up his glasses from his table. "The good kind, I hope," He enquired, sliding his glasses on.

"Definitely the good kind. And I'm gonna finish them," I said, stepping forward and slapping down the finished assignment in my hand on the desk. "I'm going to finish the last assignment before the week is over. I promise you that."

His eyes moved down to the assignment, and with a nod, he took it. "Well, that's your prerogative."

Damn right it was. "Before I leave, I'll have it on your desk, done and finished. Then I can say I earned it fair and square."

His tired eyes smiled up at me, and with a simple hand-movement, he opened his drawer. "In that case, I guess you better get started." Pulling up the seventh and last assignment, he laid it down on his desk and pushed it slowly towards me. "Best of luck."

I breathed out deeply, but then sucked in a fresh breath and grabbed the folder. I could do this. I would do this.

"Thank you," I looked up at Harry and smiled softly. I hoped he could hear the sincerity behind my words. Because short of letting the actual tears fall, this was the best I could show it. "Really. Thank you."

He gave a slow nod, merely smiling at me. But I knew, he understood.

And that's why with a grin, I spun on my foot and ran up to my room to get cracking on the last assignment.

My last week.

~~~

I bit my lip as I walked down the stairs, holding on to the rails for once. With the heels I was wearing, one could break an ankle just leaning on the wrong hip.

The last couple of days, I had been working hard on the last assignment, which turned out to be a real bitch. I had even spent one night screaming into my pillow in frustration as I had been trying to wrap my head around what he was trying to teach me. I wasn't giving up, but it was proving to test my limits, though.

But this morning, I was feeling frisky and giddy, and I knew exactly why as I walked up to Harry's study, a mischievous smirk on my lips.

Something had occurred to me this morning, as I had come out of the shower and gone through my clothes to find an outfit for the day. It was then I had stumbled upon something that had made my naughty side wake up(not to be mistaken with my dirty side). It was that same something that had inspired the idea I was currently going through with, which was why with a last wry lip, I bit it down and then knocked on his door for the first time in weeks.

Hearing his call to enter, I twisted the door knob and stepped in, expecting the same I was used to; Harry sitting behind his desk. And that he did.

I wasn't even angry when he didn't look up. For once, this was how I needed it. He was staring into a book on his desk, hand resting in his chin with his glasses sitting sloped on his nose as he read. He turned a page and seemed to be tiredly reading whatever had caught his morning interest.

But his interest was hopefully about to be challenged.

"Good morning," I chirped enthusiastically, walking in and closing the door behind me. "Slept well?"

His reply was a somewhat coherent grunt, just as he sipped his cup of tea, keeping his eyes on his text. "What can I do for you, Cassandra?"

I guess we'll see, I silently thought and felt my smirk come back as I walked up besides him and joined him by his desk. He still didn't lift his eyes as I placed a hand on his shoulder and rubbed a tense muscle. "Not much... well, actually, there was one thing I was wondering."

Finally, after what seemed like forever, he finally spun his head towards me and looked up. I took a step back and couldn't help but let out a laugh as his eyes then fell to me and watched the way his jaw locked tightly in reaction.

Oh, girls just really loved to have fun.

Smirking slowly as he looked me up and down with a purse of his lips, I placed my hands on my hips and lifted a brow. "So? What do you think?"

His eyes finally lifted to mine, after using a whole moment to stare at my outfit. Then, with a bored voice, he drawled; "I think you are enjoying yourself tremendously right now."

That I was.

Currently in a black lace- and very see-through lingerie set, I looked down at myself and swept my hands down my body. The bra was tight and practically pushed my breasts up to my ears, and my thong had clips that connected to the stockings I was wearing. On my feet, I wore the most ridiculously high black heels which gave my legs the appearance of being longer than they were – but then again, I hardly needed the boost.

"It occurred to me this morning that when I came here, I had packed entirely to seduce," I told, seeing his lips purse. Oh, yes. The memories of how I had been supposed to been enticing him to get me pregnant flourished up again. That was all water under the bridge now. I think. "And I realized all of a sudden that I had all of this lingerie just lying around in my suitcase. Lingerie I invested in just for you. I mean, before I knew you weren't aroused by bodily attraction, that is."

"And yet here you stand," He said, swiping off his glasses from his nose and stuffing them into his chest pocket.

"Well, I figured since my time here is almost up, I would show you what you've been missing out on," I teased and stood up, turning both ways to show off the naughty and quite frankly downright slutty outfit. Even for me, this was a little too much. "So? What do you think?"

"I think I've lost count of the times you've been less than dressed in my office."

– And he worked with numbers for a living.

"Seriously," I grinned, seeing him stand up and loosen his tie with a sigh. "This doesn't do anything for you? Nothing at all?"

Almost as if expecting his cock to jump out, my eyes flashed down to his crotch. Besides the usual subtle bulge from his flaccid shape, I didn't see any twitching. At all. He was really serious.

Looking up again, I saw him smile silently. He really wasn't attracted to sexy lingerie.

"Okay," I sighed, hoping I wasn't pouting. I mean, I hadn't expected anything else. I already knew going in that he probably wouldn't say anything to me wearing something like this, but not even a little reaction?

Ah, so what the hell. I just wanted to see his reaction – and to be fair, it had been fun.

"I assume you were expecting a different reaction," He then stated, keeping his calm smile as I sighed defeatedly and crossed my arms. "This was the part where I was supposed to gawk, or growl or perhaps proclaim some sort of urgent carnal need to have you, yes?"

I pursed my lips a little, but then shifted my weight on my other hip. "I mean, I would've settled for a purr."

His lips twitched again, but his eyes then averted. "And this is where the conversation comes to an end," He replied, trying to reach around me to grab some papers on his desk. I stopped him halfway.

"Just answer me one thing," I said, laying my hand on his arm. He paused up and let me lean in to his ear. "If you had to pick something you find attractive, besides the mind... what would that be?"

I saw his mouth purse a little. Then, shifting his gaze to me, he took a step back and looked me up and down, trailing up my body with a measured glance. I felt positively scorched until his hand suddenly came to my bra strap.

Meeting my eyes, he tucked my strap down, then the other one, brushing them off my shoulders with gentle movements. Grabbing my arms, he then gently spun me around, making me face his desk as he slipped a hand under my bra latch and unhooked it. It popped off and fell to the floor.

My heart then wooshed into my throat when I then felt him squat down, his face right around my ass. I could feel his breath fanning across it as his hands then came to the edges of my thong, slowly sliding it down, unhooking it from my stockings as he went. He slid them all the way down to my heels and made me step out of them, before patting each of my feet and making me step out of my shoes as well. My toes silently thanked him.

Then, sliding down my stockings as the last thing, he pulled both off individually, before I felt I felt his tall figure rise behind me again, his hands slowly sliding up my body as he went. That was the moment I realized I wasn't breathing.

When he leaned in and softly turned my head over my shoulder, I felt goosebumps spread across my skin. He closed in towards my ear and then swept my curled hair away from it. 

"A woman," He whispered lowly in my ear. "In her purest form."

His words disturbed the rhythm of my pulse and nearly sent me into a cardiac arrest.

Standing naked amidst his office—something I had done before—I felt all kinds of exposed unlike ever before, yet... hot everywhere. My taut nipples stiffened when I felt his lips softly kiss my shoulder, as if to seal in his words with a coat of heat. I felt it flush my entire body when he then took a step back, leaving me standing there, bared.

"You can't leave me like this," I breathed, turning around and gripping onto his tie fast, before he could get away. "I thought you were a gentleman."

He halted when I pulled on his tie, and looking down at where his shirt was twisting, I saw his jaw twitch as he then looked up. "I thought I was an asshole."

"You will be if you leave me like this," I said. My voice sounded breathy and desperate. I couldn't believe how hot he had gotten me just from speaking such simple words. This hadn't been the plan at all. "Please."

I watched as he slowly pressed his lips together. Then, coming closer, he pressed his body against mine once more. I closed my eyes and silently exhaled when his hand then warmly caressed my hip.

"What would you like me to do?" He whispered. God, my knees just melted.

The fact that he was asking wasn't lost on me, because we both knew exactly what I wanted, and yet he asked. He wanted me to say the words aloud.

"Touch me," I panted, tightening my grip on his tie as his hands skimmed over my skin. "Touch me, Harry."

Yet despite my clear order, he didn't move fast enough for me. He hesitated, and that's why, gripping his wrist, I brought his hand down to where I was dripping wet, the evidence slicking itself against his fingers as they toyed with me slowly.

Pushing my head back, I gripped onto the desk behind me and then felt as Harry cupped my breast with his free hand, twirling the nipple around his thumb. It pebbled hard in the air, and it was right then I couldn't take a second more. I gripped onto Harry's hair and pulled him towards me.

"Touch me," I breathed again, just before meshing my lips against his.

His lips responded to mine, and with a dominant upper-hand, he claimed my lips the way I wanted him to – slowly, but deeply. Hard, but delicately.

I then let out a soft, surprised cry when his fingers started pushing inside me. I arched out, the same time I managed to get myself situated on his desk, spreading my legs to allow him room to stand between them. His other hand came to my cheek and cupped it gently, which only promised me he was just getting started.

Feeling his fingers seek deeper inside me, I tossed my head back and bit my lip when another moan crippled its way up my throat. His fingers started moving steadily, the same time his lips had found my chest and started kissing their way down. The burning hot trail he left was enough to have me panting, the same time I felt how increasingly wet I became, the closer to my peak I got.

My hands found his hair the moment he suddenly knelt down and made my inner thighs tremble. He kissed me right on a cord of nerves running up my inner thigh, and then his mouth was on my softest flesh, drinking up my orgasm.

I cried out in pants as he kept teasing me with his tongue, my clit throbbing against his mouth while the rest of my body desperately tried to keep up. My legs were shaking, curled up and struggling not to clench shut around him as Harry kissed me once again on my most sensitive part. His fingers were still working inside me, wringing out every last drop of pleasure from my body that he could.

– That was the thing about Harry. As my body burgeoned once again and came apart to pieces, I looked down and saw his eyes flip up and meet mine, as if he knew. As if he knew I was coming apart again, just because of what he did to me. Physically. Mentally.

He didn't have to tell me to come with words; He just made me.

My orgasm passed after what felt like minutes, but even then, I hadn't caught my breath. I felt his lips pressing tentative kisses to my mound and inner thigh, but I needed them on mine. I needed to taste myself on him, to lick the flavor off of his lips.

That's why, with the last of whatever muscles hadn't dissolved into pieces, I yanked at his collar and pulled him up. He slowly rose to his feet and leaned in over me, supporting one hand on the desk we had just thoroughly violated.

"Kiss me," I breathed, seeing his dark eyes expand as I curled my hand around his neck, staring at his glistening lips. "Fucking kiss me, Harry, God."

I moved up by myself and claimed his lips, only to feel him cup my head and feed them to me himself. He kissed me back passionately, letting me bite into his lower lip and suck the savory flavor of myself off of his lips. His body tensed, but he never pulled away.

And as my eyes opened and looked up into his that slowly opened as well, a strange sensation filled me as he stared down at me with a smoldering look.

He never resisted me... because he didn't want to.

But he also never claimed me... because he couldn't.

• • •

Couldn't. Wouldn't. Shouldn't.