Shuffling papers on a desk assigned to me at the counsellor's office, my eyes scan the foyer alert and ready to speak into a small microphone attached to my blouse with the ear piece securely concealed by my hair.

I was fortunate enough to have won our game of rock-paper-scissors, winning the 'office worker' disguise.

Unfortunately for Zander, that meant a bald cap.

He was now Earl, the suave tech man with a finely groomed beard but unlike Celia's flirtatious Earl, this one was well...self-decimating.

"I look stupid," Zander hissed, smiling at a passerby while pretending that the buttons randomly being pressed on the copier machine was solving and not creating more mayhem.

"Own it! You're handsome. You'll always be a looker in my books, with or without the bald cap." It doesn't even faze me at this point that my boyfriend's best friend was the crutch that Zander's ego leaned on.

Rolling my eyes, I grab at a few paper clips and start attaching them to various stacks but the snort that echoes in my ear makes me smile involuntarily.

"Patrick. I don't think you should be saying that in the presence of your wife! If anyone asks, we're here because you cheated on me."

"Oh, c'mon babe. You and I both know we're here because you're a control freak," he remarked frostily.

"And you're psycho."

"And you're-"

"Yeah, they definitely need professional help," Zander added, winking at me from across the room.

Sighing, my eyes stray back to the foyer. Randy and his wife were expected any minute now, agreeing to come at an odd time during the day. Somehow, the proposed time given to them for the evening never bothered the couple.

We were allowed to work with the counsellor who was a close friend of Ms. Musa and was paid well for her services but the deal on her end was that we'd do this when there were less employees in, and at a time when she technically didn't officially operate - the less people that knew, the better.

Randy and Dana were given a time that 'fit their schedules' but that really wasn't the case. So long as they didn't pick up on it, then we'd be fine.

"Are they here yet?" Celia asked.

Lowering my head, I nibble on my bottom lip while giving her an affirmative, "no."

"Can they hurry it up then! My head feels itchy from this wig! And I look even worse with the fake tan!" She added irritably.

"Oh my bronzed beauty with a wig and hair extensions, be patient."

"Patrick, I will seriously-"

"Ssshhhh! They're here! Everyone get ready!" I whispered, ducking my head to glance at a blank sheet of printing paper that apparently held all the answers to the universe.

One of the employees in the cubicle across was eyeing me through the corner of his eye but I paid it no mind, solely focused on the task at hand.

The couple were ushered to the waiting room where Celia and Patrick sat ready while they hardly bat an eye as they walked past Zander.

"Okay, Celia and Patrick. It's all you two from here on out. Zander and I are here to assist you if anything goes wrong."

Chiming a "hmm kay," the two of them clear their throats and I start stapling the already paper-clipped blank sheets of paper.

My nonsensical actions drew the attention of the woman next to me but I gave her a pointed look back and raised a brow directly at her screen - if she was going to judge me, then I'd call her out on her online shopping session.

She solemnly returns to her browsing and I turn to peek at Zander who's idly sipping on water by the water cooler.

Returning to his desk not far from me, he turns on the monitor and just stares vacantly since it was password protected and belonged to someone else.

Leaning back against his chair, Zander swivels it till he's directly facing me and then grins before rolling towards me, catching every eye in the room.

My eyes widen when he comes halting next to me. "Erm....Glacinda, would you mind explaining any technical issues of the report in front of you?"

Glancing down at the stack of paper-clipped, stapled pages, Earl tilts his head and offers me, Glacinda a stern look....waiting for me to elucidate on the extremely blank papers.

Narrowing my eyes, I raise my head with righteous defiance. "There's nothing to explain. As of right now, there are no issues, technical or otherwise."

What's he doing? A written report had nothing to do with the tech guy! Why is he trying to look for mischief when I felt jittery?

"She's right," piped in the employee who was looking at me earlier.

Getting a better look at him now, he was much younger than I had originally assumed. He was probably around the same age as Zander or a little older but definitely in his twenties as well.

Maybe he's sticking up for Glacinda because of some sense of age comradeship?

"Oh really?" Earl...Zander asked in return.

Raising his head superiorly, the employee whose name plate read 'Xeno' offers Zander an arched brow. "Yeah, and shouldn't you be fixing the computer on the third floor? I heard Marco hasn't been able to access anything and everything keeps resetting."

"Already been taken care of," Earl replied smoothly, not even flinching which was what I did because once this was all over, poor Marco would still have a crap computer.

I'm about to send Zander a telepathic message of 'what gives?' When the static of the earpiece goes off.

Glancing at Zander, the concentration on his face suggests that he's tentatively listening in through the receiver in his ear.

"Oh Henry!" Celia wailed.

Patrick's voice immediately follows. "Oh my coffee crisp!"

"My adorable Kit Kat!"

"Stop, now gimme a Hersey's Kiss."

What in the love of chocolate bars have we done?" I whispered harshly, the garbled static of the mic turning up an octave.

What were they doing?

There's a moment of silence and I can faintly hear Randy's voice mumble something from the other end before Patrick picks up where he left off. "No you stop. I'm more crazy about you."

"No. You. Stop."

"How could I? You stop!"

"No, you!" Celia exclaimed, adding a giggle at the end.

A giggle? What in the name of Earl's bald cap is going on?

"But I'm crazy about you! You colour my world like skittles and M&Ms!"

At this point both Zander and I had blank looks on our faces, the ruse getting worse with every passing minute.

Grabbing the stack of papers, I risk walking towards the waiting room and peek in to see Celia and Patrick convincingly pretending to flirt while Dana and Randy sat with their arms crossed, their respective body language antagonistic to the other.

The bad flirting lines were for our sake, I realize now. Celia and Patrick were wide-eyed and at a loss since the couple opposite them remained stoic and rigid, unfazed by whatever performance was happening right in front of them.

My disguise was good enough that I could step in the room and ease the tension.

We needed the two of them to want to be happy or be influenced by people who appeared happy...clearly not even Celia and Patrick could make them laugh or put their heads together for a bit of gossip.

Clearing my throat, I put on my best customer-service smile and waltz in.

"Mr and Mrs. Wyatt?" I asked in a clear and professional tone.

Patrick and Celia exchange glances before nodding towards me...Thank God we picked full names for this ages ago.

Sitting near them, I made sure my back was to Randy since I didn't want to be under his scrutiny for too long."Before you can see the counsellor, I'd like to ask you a few brief questions."

"Anything," Mrs.Wyatt declared, giving me the courage to continue.

"We've been made aware that you've had some disagreements that have gone unresolved and it's affecting your marriage?" I shifted my head sideways as naturally as I could to indicate that we had to bring up problems involving Randy and Dana out in the open.

"She doesn't let me get a word in edge wise and always goes on and on about some guy on television!" Patrick spat, crossing his arms to hide the thumbs up he was offering me.

A snicker escapes from Randy, a sign for all three of us to continue.

"He's...he's..." Celia paused, searching for the right words that would create a blow to Patrick and catch the attention of the woman behind me.

"He's so condescending! He doesn't understand what it's like to be interested in other people!"

A slow, languid nod from Patrick aka Mr. Wyatt was meant to convey a sense of contained fury but I knew it was for my own benefit - we had them now and the slight 'tsk' coming from Dana was confirmation enough.

Her reaction however, didn't sit well with her husband who struck with bitter resentment. "And why should he, when he's married?"

"Because it's called being a fan!" Dana remarked coldly.

"No, it's called being obsessive when she's already married!"

"No...maybe she wouldn't if her husband just gave her more attention!"

"What? So now it's his fault?"

"My delectable sugar muffin, when have I not worshipped the ground you tread upon?"

The last one garnered Patrick a severe look from me and an elbow to the side from Celia.

Randy and Dana finally burst through with their own problems so now it was time for the Wyatts to display their love for each other...just not in the sickening way Patrick's headed towards.

Celia's brows furrow, the wheels in her head turning to bring the flow of conversation back with some reality. "I know you love me, but would it kill you to let me enjoy myself?"

"Yes. Yes, I think it would since I should be good enough and all you need."

"Exactly!" Randy burst.

"When have I ever said you weren't good enough?" Celia countered evenly.

"Thank you!" Dana exclaimed.

"You certainly don't show it," Patrick said, easing his arms out to sigh.

"I married you, after all."

"Preach, sister," Dana exalted.

Even I was beginning to buy this exchange. It fit perfectly with the two people behind us and the fake Wyatts were getting somewhere that didn't include different brands of chocolate bars.

"So..."

"I'm not going to stop loving you."

"But..."

"But I should be allowed to remain a fan girl if I choose to do so. And frankly, I don't need your permission for it."

"An excellent statement, erm, Mrs. Wyatt," interjected the counsellor who was leaning against the door frame with a bemused expression.

"Now since you two are in the middle of a discussion, I'll be taking the couple behind you into my office first for their scheduled session."

"Take your time...I'll just admire my signed photo card of Desmond Barnes," Celia professed dreamily, making sure that caught Dana's attention.

Following Dana with her eyes, Celia raises her voice a little higher in order to ensure that the next bit gets heard. "I have an extra signed copy for you as well, a sort of thank you for all the help you've given us."

"How...very kind of you," the counsellor said softly, not sure what to make of a shirtless Desmond now in her hands.

We all gave her our best wide eyed make-sure-she-gets-that face. Shaking her head, she nods once before shutting the door on us.

Sighing, I stretch my arms and legs. My neck was sore from hunching so I wouldn't have to face Randy. "Oh thank God that's over."

"Fix your tie Pat, you look like I fought you to get here," Celia said after a beat.

"Yes, Mom."

Rolling her eyes, she shakes her head before Patrick's next set of words have her crossing her arms with indignant annoyance. "Desmond? Seriously? I'm better looking than him."

"In your dreams and my nightmares maybe," she said acidly, glaring at her nails with narrowed eyes instead of Patrick.

Gawking, his voice comes out shrill. "That's harsh sugar muffin. And you said you loved me! The lies!"

"People, peace. PEACE," I said sharply, trying to squeeze myself between them but fail as they start scowling and circling one another offended.

"I dare you to say that one more time because the next time you eat a muffin it'll taste like coarse salt and not sugar."

"Sugarrrr. Mufffinnnnn."

"Patrick," I whispered.

"Salt. My. World."

"Oh my Gawd, I could, could, could..." Celia trailed, her voice thinning.

"Kiss me? Yeah, I get that a lot."

"Ergh! I could throttle you!"

"GLACINDA!" Boomed a voice in the doorway.

"Excuse me, Glacinda?"

"The lovely woman in the blouse!" Hollered a familiar voice.

Celia, Patrick, and I turn our heads. "Who?" We asked simultaneously, our bodies now squashed against one another.

Oh, dawdling ducks. That's me.

Recovering quick enough, I realize I was staring at Xeno wrapped in toilet paper and cold coffee spilling from the front of his shirt.

Next to him was an equally dishevelled Zander who had coloured paper clips attached along his shirt collar. What was worse, were the expletives written in bold black, permanent marker all over his bald head.

"Do I want to know what happened?" I asked Earl, whom despite the grim disguise, still had piercing green eyes that gleamed vividly.

"Well, I was minding my business in the break room when Xeno here asked me to swipe your phone while you were gone to check to see if I could 'get in' and find out if you currently had a boyfriend. A waste of my professional expertise, if you ask me."

"I did not say or ask that! I said, hey, do you happen to know if Glacinda is with anyone? You guys seem close."

"Yeah...same thing."

"What the hell? No it's not! The first happens to be illegal, the second is mere inquiry!" Xeno sputtered, jaw dropping at the insinuation.

Narrowing his eyes into slits, Zander leans his head closer to Xeno's. "I think you even being remotely curious about her is illegal."

"Gentlemen," I bit out severely, enunciating every syllable. "Can you tell me why that has anything to do with how you look?"

"Since I wasn't going to entertain any of the drivel Xeno was spewing, I walked away only to feel whole sugar cubes being flung at me."

"It wasn't me! It was Norm's kid! He brought him into work today!"

Shaking his marred bald head, Zander gives him a thin lipped smile. "Yeah, okay bud. Whatever you say. Anyways, feeling harassed and physically wounded, the hand holding my iced coffee slipped and managed to find its way onto Xeno's shirt."

Groaning, I raise a palm to shield my pained expression.

"And I accidentally decided to give Earl a nuance sense of office fashion," Xeno shot back, fuming at the recollection.

"And then I accidentally happened to walk out of the men's washroom five minutes later and provide Xeno with an abundance of tissues to wipe the dullness out of his miserable office life."

"In which case, Earl rightfully deserved the lovely and artful sentiments explicitly displayed on his head. His extremely, unattractive, and unfortunate looking head."

"I have more coffee from where that came from."

"And I still have an entire drawer of permanent markers. I didn't even get to the coloured ones to match those paper clips."

"Oh really?" Zander asked lightly.

"Yes, really."

"Then let me gladly break it to you that Glacinda is happily in a relationship."

At this, Xeno falters and his head abruptly jerks to look at me. "Really?"

"And the person she's with, happens to be me," Zander admonished gleefully.

"EARL? You're going out with...with Earl?" Xeno asked with disbelief.

"I-" I began before being cut off by Xeno's bewilderment.

"You're going out with this bald and immature jerk?"

"Takes one to know one," Zander offered cooly, plastering on a fake smile.

Grinning slyly, Xeno snorts. "I'm not bald, so thankfully that doesn't apply to me."

"Luckily for you, I was referring to the immature jerk part."

"He's still better looking than Desmond Barnes," Patrick added, his voice cutting into the conversation and alighting Celia's annoyance again.

"How dare you? Earl has nothing on Desmond and neither do you! And neither does this sopping toilet-paper disaster without an inch of humility!"

"People, please. Peace?" I asked feebly, stepping aside to see Xeno on his tippy toes in order to reach eye level with Zander while Patrick and Celia were onto one of their tangents.

"What could he possibly have that I don't?"

"Erm hello? That's obvious. Everything."

"Wife, I promise when we go home, you will eat those words."

"Oh my Gawd, why are you so infuriating? Why do you care, Mr. Wyatt?"

"I can't believe she'd pick you!" Xeno barked hoarsely.

"And what's wrong with that? A woman named Glacinda is clearly destined to be with a man named Earl," Zander stated, petting the shorter man's head.

"She deserves better than you."

"So what, you? You think she deserves you?"

"And why not?"

"Over my dead body," Zander hissed.

"That can be arranged."

Grunting, Patrick taps a foot irritably. "Stupid Desmond. What is even the appeal? The abs? I have those too!"

"Yeah, sure you do honey," Celia said sardonically.

"Oh just you wait sugar muffin!" Patrick flared, undoing the buttons of his shirt to prove his point.

"I have abs too!" Zander pitched, mirroring his friend's actions and undoing his shirt while being careful not to disrupt Xeno's handiwork.

Shifting his gaze from Zander's to mine, Xeno notices how wide my eyes have gone and begins fumbling to unbutton his shirt.

"I do too! And they're probably way better than Desmond's or Earl's," Xeno avowed.

Gawking, Celia doesn't know where to look and the two of us clasp our hands together and take cautionary steps back.

"Um...guys?" I squeaked.

"What the hell is going on here?" The Counsellor asked icily, her tone causing everyone in the room to freeze as her fingers held the door handle in a fierce grip.

"Someone explain to me why I have three shirtless men in my waiting room?"

"Gladly. We're proving a scientific point that Desmond Barnes is bodily a subpar species," Patrick announced seriously. His words colossal and cracking into the stillness of the air.

Groaning, I shrink back and wish the walls would close in on me.

Observation: we are so so very off script and so so sooo dead.