Chapter 21

I think people possess certain reactions, we all react differently or similarly depending on the situation at hand but being the idiot that I am, my gapping mouth and wide eyes probably make me look like a dying fish. And that's one reaction that's never pleasing to look at or remember.

"Uh...I think you've got the wrong person," I blurt out dramatically, feigning ignorance at his 'your obviously lying' look.

"But you're – "

Tanned boy's eyes widen in surprise as Zander takes a step in front of me (probably to hide the ugly dying fish face). "You heard her, you've got the wrong person. Now if you'll excuse us, we have ice cream to get." And with that, he looks down at me waiting for permission to leave.

Where are doggie treats when you need them? I could blurt out, 'Who's a good boy?' And make disgusting cooing sounds at him for saving me.

I'm trying my best to mask a small smile  since Zander did just save me from a scene of discomposure. "This is different than what we agreed on," I remarked, sheepishly.

"Change of plans, we'll go wherever you want to go."

"Excuse me, but I promise this will only take a minute." I'm no longer flustered but can't help the twinge of annoyance that overcomes me. I didn't want to associate with anyone remotely related to Shawn, he was a memory I wanted to leave in the dust behind me.

My emotions aren't concealed as well as I hoped since Zander tenses briefly, looking down at me for an answer before turning on the tanned Adonis with chagrin. "I think we made it clear that we don't wish to speak with you. She's clearly not interested in whatever you're selling."

Sighing, I give Zander a faint smile. I need to speak up, this can't go on forever and I need to make a point to those around me. I really am okay, bitter and remorseful at times but who doesn't go through emotional spasms when walking down memory lane or recalling people they wish they never knew?

Stepping forward, I cross my arms to offer self-support before looking the boy square in the face, "look, I don't know who you are or what you have to do with Shawn but I don't care. In fact, you can tell Shawn I said he can fuck off and get lost for eternity because his existence is essentially dead to me. Now, I hope that what I think of him is glaringly clear so have a nice day and may we never cross paths again." 

Fuming now, I huff out steam to release a breath of air before marching past his gaping mouth. I don't even stop to look up at Zander who is now silently striding next to me and continue my crusade march to the ice cream shop. 

Not holding back, I walk confidentially up to the 'order here' counter and get a huge waffle cone cup and two massive scoops of cookie dough ice cream topped with extra chocolate chips. The man behind the counter gives me a worried glance but I merely wave it aside, I may look extremely malnourished but I could eat enough to feed a herd of cows if given the opportunity. But what's driving my ravenous appetite for sugar is the encounter with tanned boy, the mere thought of it makes me want to eat something, anything to focus my entire being on something else.

Locating a table, I slide into the booth end while stabbing my ice cream relentlessly to take out my irritation on something as I picture Shawn's face, the desire to hurl something at it so intense. My actions seem to silence Zander as I glance up at him, his eyebrows furrowing slightly.

"Um Cat, ice cream isn't a living animal. There's no need for you to stab it multiple times, that's just over-kill...which doesn't even make any sense for a dairy product."

"I'm not actually stabbing it if my weapon of choice happens to be a plastic spoon...that's barely five centimetres tall and pink."

"You're still scaring me," is his concerned reply, his eyes never leaving the pink spoon in my hand.

Observation: The macho boy only pretends to be "macho" he's terrified of things that wouldn't make a two-year-old girl flinch.

"Then please keep your distance as I de-stress and take out all my pain through ice cream." Pushing his chair back, he makes one grand sweep for me to proceed and I begin stabbing with my pink spoon once again.

"But aren't you going to ask me?"

"What?" I asked, through a mouthful of heaven.

"Aren't you going to say something to me?"

"Huh?" I blurt out weakly, my teeth now numb and my tongue malfunctioning from the cold delight.

"This is the part where I quietly disregard what happened before with that tanned guy and you meekly ask me, 'aren't you going to ask me about earlier' or something along those lines."

"Meekly?"

"Or something like that."

"Um no, I have no intention to."

"Then you actually want me to disregard it and die of curiosity?" Zander asked, incredulously.

"Why yes, yes that would be wonderful." My eyes refuse to look at him as I start mixing the ice cream in a hypnotic motion but my brain was battling the, 'should I or shouldn't I?' train of thought.

Sighing, I let go of the spoon and glance at Zander unsteadily. "All right, fine. What do you want to know?"

"Who's Shawn? That guy obviously had the right person."

"He was a friend," I bite out bitterly.

"Just a friend?"

"Yes, just a friend."

"You said was, but from the way that guy was speaking it seems like this Shawn considers the two of you as close while you want to kill him in cold blood."

"That's not likely. I mean him thinking we're still close, you're absolutely right about the latter."

"Okay, how come? Why would the two have such divided feelings about one another?"

"Because Shawn's the one who no longer wanted to be friends and he made that agonisingly clear. Honestly, I don't know how to define how close our relationship was but Shawn is in the past and I'd like him to stay there. Besides, there might be one or two pictures of us together that tanned guy has seen. Who knows?"

My dismissive tone doesn't even faze Zander; he just looks at me curiously. "You hate him, don't you?"

"It's not hate when all I want to do is slap him in the face with a boulder or have an elephant step on him and wish I'd never met him. Is it? I think my feelings towards him are malignant and that's phrasing it nicely."

"What'd he do?"

"Nothing worth repeating."

"Well he had to have done something extremely nasty to make the nice Catherine Lewis hate him."

My eyes narrow slightly from the humour behind his voice, "you're the only one claiming I'm nice, I'm really not such a great person."

"Says you."

"Yes, says me. Don't you think I should know myself better than anyone else?" I ask quietly, my voice containing a slight tremble.

"Don't you think that also makes you more prone to be judgmental towards yourself? I don't put you as being narcissistic."

Giving an exasperated sigh, I shake my head doubtfully. "Anything else you'd like to ask?"

"Was Shawn an ex-boyfriend?"

Grimacing, I merely shake my head furiously, "never."

"Never? Which means he could have since you didn't flat out say no."

"You're going to base that off of my word choice?"

"I'm right, aren't I?"

"No, there was nothing like that between us." At this point my internal panic meter has broken, my heart beating at an unimaginable rate – I don't even need to place my hand on my chest to feel how frantic it is.

"Platonic relationships usually don't end so bitterly Cat. You can tell Zander everything." With a grin, he cocks his head to one side waiting for me to spill my insides out to him.

Even as I stare back at him in shock, I can't help but laugh at the absurdity of this. This man is still a stranger, my future client and someone from a different world than me – Everything from status to love life, we have absolutely nothing in common...well except for our love of cupcakes. 

"I don't think that's necessary, but thanks for being polite," I answered, drily.

"Polite? I offered a listening ear purely out of curiosity."

Gawking, I shake my head before finishing my ice cream, "...Then I take back my thank you?"

"Now that I won't get any more information out of you, shall we continue our wonderful shopping adventure?"

Cringing, I take a step back, "you hate every moment of this. That is one terrifying smile."

"Yes. Yes I do. I could have been seeing jelly fish right about now." Offering me a placid smile, he begins walking away to a mall directory nearby as I throw away the ice cream spoon while I munch on my cone with angst. Zander is is the last person on the planet who needs to know about my past, I need to maintain a professional distance before this feeling of dissonance between us becomes any larger. 

 Walking towards Zander, I stop dead in my tracks as my phone vibrates, pulling it out I answer immediately. "Celia!" I cry out.

"So how's shopping with a hot guy?"

Scoffing, I get straight to the point, "we got kicked out of Toys 4 U!"

"Frankly, I'm not even surprised which scares me because before I met these two imbeciles,  something like this would raise a red flag."

"Now you realise how abnormal they are? Where are you? Please come back! I can't do this anymore!"

"Do what? Spend the day with Zander?"

"Actually, he's not so bad. I just can't stand shopping."

"What did you buy?"

"Nothing. Unless you count food."

She sighs audibly and I know I've set myself up for a lecture. "I knew it! Catherine Lewis! Get yourself some nice clothes and no! I don't want to see you come home with sweaters or a hideously oversized shirt that could fit a bear."

"Yes mom." I could salute her army style because let's face it, she was born to be a general or sergeant, whichever ranked higher and barked orders at poor people.

"Good, now I'm going to hang up and see a dolphin show so you have at least another two hours."

Hearing the beeping sound as she hangs up, my inner child was screaming and having a tantrum, my expression reflecting this as I step next to Zander. 

 He looks down at me and frowns at my dark expression, "what's up Cat, why do you look like your best friend just died?"

"Died? I'd like to kill her."

"Ouch."

"She's seeing a dolphin show right now, and what are we doing?"

"Running around in a maze of doom that consists of money sucking capitalists."

"Exactly!"

"A dolphin show does seem nice." Nodding in unison we walk off lethargically and enter the sports store, an alternative to dolphins that pales in comparison. 

Glancing at me worriedly, Zander points towards a bright candescent screen that was as tall as I am, flashing through images of various sports figures. "So, who's your favourite athlete?"

Blinking, my eyebrows furrow quizzically, "are you seriously asking me that?"

"Yeah, because you just forgot about dolphins."

"So why did you want to come here again?" I ask, eyeing a tennis racket suspiciously since the price appeared deadlier then the idea of being hit by a tennis ball smashed by a professional. 

"To look at these new sneakers, I think they're on the upper floor. Do you want to come with me?"

I consider his offer for a moment. Did I really need to know the man's preference in shoes to form facts for his matchmaking portfolio? If he purchased them, surely he would show me without me having to naively look on.

"I'll pass. Have fun, I'm just going to browse around the lower level if that's okay?"

Nodding, Zander waves before stepping onto an escalator, constantly looking back to make sure I was still there. "I'll be back in five minutes."

"Sure." With a genial smile, I decide to find the furthest and darkest corner of the store where no one can approach to provide assistance I never asked for, hoping to find a seat so I can make a few notes on Zander's profile that consists of our time spent together thus far.

Referring back to this morning, the points I have so far are as follows;

Zander is not a morning person. He has a sweet tooth that even extends to his preference in coffee. He remembers to buy family members presents or does gifts often for relations younger than him, such as a younger cousin. He's afraid of Magical Pony dolls (still to be determined by his sister).

In addition to this, Zander has a habit of crossing boundaries but also stays within the lines when the other person is battling discomfiture that can't be easily passed on - what I know from first hand experience.

Finished typing, I stare at my phone frowning. I had expected to have more information on Zander by now but looking at this list, it seems as if our roles have been reversed and he knows more about me. 

Releasing a disgruntled sigh, I place my phone back in my bag and wonder how Celia ever manages to find anything substantial. I should have asked her what her algorithm for matchmaking entailed since the field work and study of observing a matchee could yield some really useless bits of information...like Zander's disconcert for magical ponies. 

"Do you need to go anywhere else after this Cat?" I nearly jump when I sense Zander's presence suddenly next to mine.

"N-n-no," my nose wrinkles as I recall the phone call I had with Celia and I dread my next words. "Actually wait, yeah there is..." My words break off as I realise Zander has been speaking to me while under a guise of a black face mask and massive black sunglasses that conceal more than half of his face. To complete his look, he's tossed on a sports cap.

"What the?"

"Where?" He asked, hissing through his teeth while facing the escalators and trying to peer over the rim of black shades.

"Do you want to explain to me what's going on first?" I ask mildly.

"I almost got recognised and we can't stay here any longer! So tell me, where you have to go so we can get out of here!"

Shaking my head bemused, I know better than to add to Zander's anxiety since it would be in my best interest to keep his identity hidden in one of the most public places people visit. "I have to get real clothes otherwise Celia will disown me. I'm not allowed sweaters or my favourite baggy t-shirts."

"Then let's go!" Dragging me out hurriedly by the hand, Zander strides as far away from the sports store as possible until we've reached a strip of clothing boutiques.

Glancing down one end of the hall to the next, Zander sighs in relief before letting go of my hand. "Do me a favour and watch guard? Let me know the moment an employee from the sports store comes this way." 

"What? But I have to get an outfit or a pair of socks at the very least."

"Leave that to me."

"What?" I gaped, completely lost for words.

"Just trust me for once."

"Trust you?" I echoed, those set of words not really existing in my vocabulary.

"I won't take more than ten minutes and you'll thank me later." Marching off, Zander waves once before entering one of the boutiques, the security guard on duty eyeing him with alarm and I'm stunned to find myself utterly alone.

Having noticed a bench directly outside the store, I settle myself onto it while trying to avoid eye contact of people passing by. Nothing screams loneliness and awkwardness like being lonesome at a mall; staring at the white floors I can't help but begin counting the tiles as I wait.

I reach tile number ten when someone taps my shoulder and I whirl around to expect Zander with a wild pair of socks for me when I'm struck by the tanned and bronze beauty I evidently thought I had ditched for good.

"Finally caught you alone. Let me introduce myself properly, I'm Nate, Shawn's younger brother." Sticking out a hand for me to shake, I stare down at it as if it were Satan himself trying to trap me with his demonic grip.

Observation: I wish Zander Nolan were here, right now.

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