Chapter Thirty- Eight

When we were kids

For 3 hours straight Levi and I were on my bed just talking about our feelings, how he grew up, and how I grew up. He wasn't very talkative and I ended up talking more I hope I didn't overwhelm him but I felt comfortable with him. 

     "I only remember having one experience where I felt feelings for a girl," He blurted out and turned to me. "Other than that, you're the only other girl I've tried to do this with."

     "Hmm," I had a sour look on my face. "What was special about her?" 

     "She was part of the reason why I became a scout," He snickered. "Stupid, but back then before all of this when I didn't have a lot of money I went out and stole shit on the streets. I actually once saved bread from this other bully to give back to this girl and her brother- Anyways, that girl was the same girl who worked at this bakery I stole from." 

     "What?" I sat up and stared at him with widened eyes. "That sounds oddly familiar."

     "The craziest part is, I used to get caught by the owner all the time and this one day she was working at the front," He continued with a fond look on his face. "I assume the owner was in the back and when I saw the girl I thought I was for sure going to get caught but instead she gave me free bread and told me to get a job."

I snorted from the last words and he turned to me like I was crazy for laughing at a sentimental moment. I couldn't help but laugh because I remember I did the exact same thing for a young boy.

Holy shit.

     "I said the same thing to a young boy a few years ago," I frowned. "He was normally stealing and that day I felt bad because I know what it was like to be starving- I gave him free bread and told him to be careful and try to find a job. I was yelled at and-" 

     "And what?" Levi sat up with his full attention on me waiting for my answer, he got a hint of what was coming next. He just wanted to hear it from me.

     "He... He hit me." I murmured and looked down. "Every time I did something wrong in his bakery he made sure to try to teach me a lesson." 

I felt myself recall the faint memory and I felt a sudden wave of sadness and I became anxious, I never admitted that to anyone. I never once told anyone especially Armin of the torture I endured working where I worked back then and how life was truly like being poor. 

     "He's the reason I joined the corps, he told me I wasn't able to make it and I couldn't take it anymore I wanted to prove I was stronger and better than he was." I looked at Levi. "So, when people told me I was shit to train I wanted to give up."

     "I'm sorry," He placed a hand on my thigh. "I shouldn't have been so hard on you."

     "It's fine," I swatted my hands but he took hold of my hand and held it, I felt his heat surround my hand and I couldn't help but stare at him in awe.

     "It's not fine," His gaze turned cold. "It will never be fine, he placed his hands on you and that's probably why my words pushed you too far-" 

He turned away and cursed at himself before standing up from the bed, he turned to me with an apologetic look. "I'll make it up to you."

     "Levi," I stood up as well. "I don't need pity-"

     "I just want to protect you-"

     "It's okay-"

     "It's really not!" He yelled causing me to back away a bit, his eyes faltered as he groaned. "I didn't mean to yell, I just don't think it's acceptable for you to endure this shit. I'll be better to you."

     "Levi," I placed my hand above his and held it getting closer to him. "I'm okay."

He stared at me with a sour look before looking down shamefully, he really lashed out just because of my past. 

     "Besides, without that stupid bakery guy, I wouldn't be here and I wouldn't have given you that piece of bread." I smiled placing a kiss on his cheek. "Everything happens for a reason."

     "I'm going to beat that son of a bitch's ass-"

     "Levi," I frowned and pulled away, "Are you going to ignore the fact we met as kids?"

     "That can't be true, that's like one in a million." Levi scoffed and looked outside my balcony. "How are you so sure?"

     "Why do you so badly want it to be someone else?" I questioned and raised my eyebrow at him. "Like damn, I guess it was someone else." 

     "That's not what I meant," He groaned and looked back at me. "This is just- It's too good to be true, I don't like getting so happy because-"

     "The happier you get the more disappointment comes after," I finished. "I know it may seem scary but I think it's time for the universe to give us a break, it's time for us to find happiness." 

     "If it really is you," His cheeks flushed. "Ah, forget it."

     "That means you had a crush on me," I smirked and placed my hand on his jaw. "What an honor, Mr. Ackerman." 

     "Shut up," He removed my hand and turned away with his hands crossed. "Don't we have things to do today?" 

     "Right," I nodded. "Get out, so I can change." 

     "You don't have to kick me out." He grumbled and put his shoes on. 

     "Levi, you're cuter than I ever thought you were." I winked at him and again his cheeks were turning pink as he cursed a few things and stood back up. 

He rolled his eyes at me before placing a hand behind my back and a hand at the back of my head, he pulled me in and I was shocked knowing he just held me close to him. I knew he felt a bit awkward because he wasn't used to this yet he was still trying.

     "This is nice," I huffed out and wrapped my arms around his back.

     "Is it?" He let out a small chuckle before pulling away and staring at me. "I'll pick you up later?" 

     "Later? I guess," I smiled cheekily. 

Later. 

I was going to see him later.