Stepping into that small room, scared the living daylight out of me. I was the first one there, so I made sure my breastband was tightened. Doing a couple of moves to ensure it's tightness, Jhope Sunbae's Airplane blasting thru my headset around my neck.

I did a few moves as I adjusted my beanie and facial mask, today's eye color was a stormy grey that covered my green eyes well. I was too wrapped up in my own thing to see for boys behind me I could tell 2 were younger and 1 was maybe the same age and the last one was older. I bowed in greeting and said hello in English. I grabbed my bag and sat in the corner, I put my hood up and closed my eyes.

Thankfully I didn't blow my cover as of yet. A few more boys stepped in and bowed in greeting. I stood up and went out the door to be stopped.

"Kai?" The man with an earpiece and clipboard had said.

I bowed and said yes, "Come this way the others wish to meet you."

I slung my bag around my back, stuffing my hand in my pockets as I followed the man.

I was greeted by a smiling Eunhyuk who gave me a hidden finger heart, I rolled my eyes glad to have my bangs blocking my eyes of showing the disrespect.

A noona at the table I recognized, Solji from EXID. My heart ready to jump out of my chest when she smiled, "Your Kai?!"

I moonwalked towards her giving her a finger heart as I moonwalked back to the spot I was told to stand. "Yes Noona, my name is Kai. No last name because I'm trying to forget the past that tried to delay me from my dreams. I wish to carve my own way and create my own path. I'm not ashamed that I ran away from home, my life up until two years ago was always chaotic. I was bullied, I whispered can I take this off but you have to turn the camera's off first."

"No Kai, you can meet them after you perform. Maybe they will understand why you are doing this, Trust me you guys when you see Kai perform, try to place yourself in his shoes. Understand what he has been going through when he takes his mask off. But the other trainees will not know until the show ends, who he really is. Once you know, the CEO will have you all sign the contract. Listen, Guys just trust me on this Kai here is an All-Star. He can do it all, He had Joy swooning for him. RED VELVET is rooting for him 100%. That's all, for now, Kai, good luck."

I made my way back, but I kinda forgot which way to go. Shit, can you see it now 17 yr old masked girl gets lost right before performing? Its when I accidentally bumped into someone from Team Performance. "Hello, can you direct me to Team Rap's room I kinda got lost." My head was down because I was blushing tomato red. "Crap my manners, I'm Kai it's nice to meet you." He made a cute face and "I'm Do Yum. Team Performance at your service."

I did a quiet laugh, I felt another tap. I turned "Well Kai, I'm Jin-sung, it's nice to meet you Team Vocal at your service." I bowed, "As you know I'm Kai and I'm 17, Team Rap."

I stood up to my real height, I thought to myself I was the same height as Do Yum, while Jin Sung was taller than us by a little bit. I was pulled by my sleeve by the guy I met earlier, I think his name was Hyun Jun. "Come on it's time to go on stage."

I waved bye to them "Good Luck." I yelled

"Jeez, dude, chill I just got lost and asked for directions," I said to him.

"Palli, Palli let's go three lines. You're pushing it KAI." Everyone looked at me, "Sorry I got lost after I met the judges briefly."

I was starting to get nervous, "I was told to tell my story, then rap and dance." I thought to myself thinking of the two songs I prepared to sing one in English and one Korean, I knew if I wanted to be known that I had to give it everything I got. I can only go so high right, how far can I go? who knows?!

I thought of the rap I wrote this morning, in the little room. I already had the music I made prior the day before, I just hope they like it. English was my first language, they don't have to know about the other languages until they ask me right?

I sat at the bottom, "Can I have the last performer, KAI!"
I smiled and took off my hoodie as I made my way down the stage. I hear a lot of good lucks especially from my 2 new friends.

"Hello, I'm Kai, from Ulsan 17 yrs old. Thank you for having me and for letting me be apart of this opportunity." I told them.

"Kai, I heard you have a story before you perform," Solji says too me.

"I do, so you see my life from when I was born till I was 15, was a real-time nightmare. I don't wish the way I grew up on anyone, even my worst and hated enemy. Growing up I always had a chaotic life, nothing was normal. Of course, there was order but in that order lives turmoil and depression. Everything was fine until I spoke, once the first words I spoke my family said they didn't want me anymore. I was insignificant and that I was worthless, I learned to block it out. At 10 years old I fell in love with rap music and dancing. Going to school was terrible, I was bullied mentally and physically. But deep down inside of me I still had the strength to blocked it all out." I looked up at Eunhyuk. I see him get up and walk off the stage, it surprised the hell out of me when he walked right in front of me hugged the shit out of me.

So-Hyun was next, it was surprising even more so. The next thing out of my mouth was so stupid. "Uhh guys, I appreciate it but can we stop the hugging right now. I don't wish to delay the show right now." Laughs could be heard all around.

"At 15 after I graduated early, I ran away from home and ended up in Ulsan. It's when a kind family saw me in the streets busking, took me in and adopted me. Every single day is a ritual with me, I'd drop a few beats and write lyrics down. I think I'm blessed right now to be living and breathing proof that no matter what happens in your life, only you can decipher your next step and push thru with the strength you have and the strength of the loved ones around you. Thank you."

https://youtu.be/oQQsYiT-Zgk

Hope Lyrics:

It's been a while now,
feel like I been stuck inside of this moment
The weight of the world on my shoulders is pulling me down
I've been trying to hold it

Everyone's dealing with issues
Most of us don't get the courage to show it
A lot on my mind gotta expose it
This is the path that I have chosen

I gotta lotta bad days, so I write
When I'm in a bad state of my life
I have been living at a fast pace
I'm alright, but I really feel I lost faith

This is the place that I turn when the world that I live in is darkest
I got a message for all of the people
Who think that their life's become garbage
Late at night when you can't decide if you wanna live or you wanna die
Hard to sleep and you can barely breathe
Feel the pain inside as it amplifies

Bad things happen that we can't explain
You can let go of the past but the scars remain
You gotta lot of anger that you can't contain
Now you need to find a way to let it go and change

Star on fire, I'm trying
To burn without collapsing
Hanging in the balance
Caught in the middle of silence
Light me up, I'm searching
Looking for one reason
Tryna find the beacon
To guide me home

Hope
Now that's a word that I'm pretty new to
Stuck in depression
Now that's something that I'm pretty used to

A lonely road
Who knew that people would like me because of my YouTube
But I'm grateful
That's what I feel every time that I see I got new views

But I'm so confused
What's the point of a view if I'm a slave to it
This day in age is pretty dangerous
Why is Facebook determining relationships

Kids overdose in the basement with
No clue what do when their parents split
Started to slip, they were losing their grip
Couldn't bare to repair their embarrassment

When you feel like you been living in a dark maze
Scream why when you looking up and stargaze
You lose sight in the storm when it's all grey
You can't fight
You really wanna part ways
But think twice
For your life's a gift, it's alright
When you feel you can't find it just reach out a hand
And somebody will show you the light

Star on fire, I'm trying
To burn without collapsing
Hanging in the balance
Caught in the middle of silence
Light me up, I'm searching
Looking for one reason
Tryna find the beacon
To guide me home

Yeah
It's been too long, I been falling

Lord knows that it's all been

exhausting

I feel that my soul is evolving
I'm done with the pain I have been causing

I've waited for strength to resolve this
I hear that my angels are calling
In the rain of the storm, I'm calm it
I'll crawl if I have to, I'm all in

I've been waiting for so long
Can't do this on my own
I need to know there's more than this feeling

Star on fire, I'm trying
Oh I'm burning, but I'm not collapsing
Light me up, I'm searching
For a reason, I found the beacon
To guide me home

I bowed, my breaths coming out fast as I catch my breath. I bowed to Team Rap, Vocals and Performance. "Kai, did you write this?"

I nodded, "I wrote it this morning when I got here, I didn't have lyrics for the song I made. But all the event leading up to now has given me Hope and that I have people and family who have my back."

"Alright Kai do your dance!" Eunhyuk

https://youtu.be/QtUwi604PFc

[ This is what I picture as Kai's dance routine, pretend he has a face mask on. ]

I stood there breathing hard, I got my bearings and bowed to all three teams again. Not a word was said, I looked Suren from Team Performance. The last few beats of the song, I did a suicide on the spot landing on my feet. Suren ran down from his perch and just bowed a few times, I held the younger on up and told him to go back to his seat.

I looked at Crush, I shook my head no. I knew what he was going to ask before he even said it. "Kai, can you sing?"

I answered a quick yes by nodding my head up and down. "Can You sing for us?"

I looked up at him and asked "Which language would you like it in? I can sing in English, Korean, Japanese & Thai."

"Whatever feels natural to you!" He said to me

"Can I do one of my cover songs then?" I looked at Crush expectantly.

All the directors looked at each other and nodded simultaneously.

https://youtu.be/PjOj2zrpNAE

It was my choice to show them, that little something. Just a nibble into my world, I thought It was fitting. I heard all the boys behind, I couldn't hear everything but I heard someone say "Things just got serious, he is going to be a problem."

When I hit the high note, I didn't think they were ready for my voice to go that high. But I had to, for myself to proceed to my goal.

My body covered in sweat and I felt disgusting, but its a good thing I don't smell when I sweat. I grabbed my water bottle and took a sip through my mask, I took off my beanie and hoodie. Tousling my heair as the sweat comes off my hair.

"I don't mean to be rude and all can I go sit down now, I don't wish to be ranked right now. I feel a little faint after all that, before I even finished I felt my body falling. I landed on something soft and not hard at all."

"Do Yum, Jin Sung, Hyun Jun take him to rest right now! No one is to disturb him, understand I leave you three in charge of him."