Jane spent the rest of the evening lying on the couch consumed with sorrow and turmoil. She obsessed over every conversation she'd had with Prett about his childhood. One particular instance stood out: the day she'd pushed him to talk about his dog. His words now haunted her.

Rex. No backyard funeral. Don't know who buried him. Or where. I'd like to think it was Ole Rufus and under the white birches along the crick, but...probably not.

She had supposed he simply missed a beloved pet. Instead, the dog's death was a footnote in between witnessing his mother's murder and stopping his stepfather from killing his brother. No wonder he didn't want to discuss it. Yet he still hoped the man who'd come upon that horrific scene in the woods had been the one to lay the dog to rest. Ole Rufus. Prett had mentioned him before, too.

Fed us all kinds of mystery meat. But I was always too hungry to care.

And Prett's scars. The numerous faded welts on his back. The jagged slash cutting through them. All inflicted by his stepfather.

Young Jamey had done what he had to do. Yet decades later, the grown man seemed ashamed. Or remorseful. Even Val's recitation of the events held a tinge of regret.

Jane could understand mourning the lack of a loving father. But not the destruction of one so brutal.

The man had been a monster.

She hated him.

*****

Jane stood in her bedroom comparing outfits. Should she wear her wool skirt and the green blouse Holly bought her? Or the snazzy little black dress? The first seemed too business-like while the second held memories of a drunken performance at a certain New Year's Eve party. What impression did she want to project tonight? Serious career woman or fun, flirty and not-drunk-this-time companion? She sighed. Maybe she should wear jeans.

The doorbell interrupted her indecision.

Danny looked apologetic and apprehensive.

"Long time no see!" Jane said. "How are you? I heard you've been laid up all week with migraines." She stepped back to let him in.

He walked in with a half-smile. "One day with a migwaine. Fow days with a headache. Ya have a minute? Holly said ya came home eawly."

"I'm getting ready for a date."

"With that atto'ney? Why ya wanna date him?"

"What's wrong with him?"

Danny shrugged. "Not yaw type."

"He's completely my type. Educated. Career-minded." She gave Danny a pointed look. "Clean-shaven."

Danny stroked his beard. "Bland."

Jane crossed her arms. "You didn't come here to discuss my dates, did you?"

"Not this time." His teasing smile disappeared as he pulled a couple folded sheets of paper from his back pocket. "My headache. Writin' this letta to Cady. Could ya read it? Tell me what ya think?"

Jane unfolded the papers as she sat on the couch. Danny claimed the same recliner Val had a few evenings prior, sitting on the edge of the seat, his hands clasped, while Jane read the computer-printed text.

Miss Pruett,

Let me express my gratefulness you are reading this. Be not alarmed it contains renewals of sentiments you wish not to hear. I have heard you and have no desire to cause you further hurt or irritation. However, I beg your indulgence this one last time, for you have laid an accusation at my feet I cannot leave unaddressed. You believe my muteness was enacted for the sole purpose of punishing you. This has been a miserable consequence of my actions, but it was not my intent. Please allow me to explain.

When Prett threw me out the day I insulted you, he signed he was glad my mama was dead so she couldn't see what I'd become. That I had tarnished the gift of my hearing with my foul mouth. That I would've been a far more honorable man if I had been both deaf and mute. Val refused to lend a sympathetic ear, asserting I was a little shit as a child and I was an even bigger shit now and it would be better if I never spoke again. In a fit of spite I decided to do just that. I believed after a day or two of not speaking, they would apologize and I would magnanimously forgive them. They didn't. And so I didn't.

As the weeks passed my anger grew. You are correct in recognizing when I first apologized to you I didn't mean it. I was only going through the motions of civility. In a twist of irony, you are the only one who wanted me to speak. My brothers didn't. My cousins didn't. Even G.G. didn't. Told I had stopped speaking, she patted my hand and said, "'The eyes of those who see will no longer be closed, and the ears of those who hear will listen.'" I scoffed at her. The ramblings of an old woman. What did she know?

Much, as it turns out. Sulking in corners has its advantages for it lends itself to a careful observation of others. By refusing to speak, I noticed things I never had before. Subtle interactions. Slight inflections of tone that contradicts words spoken. Heartache hidden behind placid expressions. That is how I discovered a rift had formed between my brothers. Not one of anger but of brokenness. I didn't know the cause. I still don't.

I could write pages about my strained relationship with Prett and Val; one that extends back to our childhood. I had never understood them. I had never tried. Not until I decided to stop speaking and listen as well as hear. At one time I would have felt satisfaction at their discord. No longer. A combination of maturing and suffering my own trauma changed my attitude. I now wished for peace.

At first I thought Val's silence was in imitation of mine. Upon reflection I realized it predated my fit of petulance. In another hasty decision I made a secret vow to not speak until Val had. I never expected his silence to extend so many years. I never expected the difficulty in keeping such a rash oath. And I certainly never expected my resolution to affect more than my brothers.

My decision ultimately hurt you, something I never conceived nor desired. Yet given the opportunity, I wouldn't choose a different path. If I hadn't stopped speaking I would not have seen my brothers' estrangement. I would never have had a method to help them repair it, for though my muteness began as a punishment towards them, it became a bridge to their reconciliation.

And ironically, if I had not remained mute I would not have had the ability to see your virtue, your grace, and your compassion. I have witnessed the quiet dignity with which you have borne the most trying of circumstances. I admire your determination to further your education and wish you success in all your endeavors. Prett made the right decision in hiring you to take care of G.G. I truly believe she wouldn't have lived so long if not for your lively companionship. And I dare to think I am a better man for having known you.

Yet it remains: What I said to you that first day was reprehensible. I have no excuse other than my own arrogance and entitlement, born out of selfishness. My disgusting behavior rests entirely on my shoulders. I wasn't raised to treat women in such an abysmal manner. At the time I believed my insincere signed apology would suffice and for that I am remorseful. I could have spared us all much grief if I had said "I'm sorry" at the beginning and meant it. I could have spared us far more if I had never opened my mouth in the first place.

By the time I wished truly to apologize, much time had passed. When I discovered you would only accept a spoken mea culpa, I considered breaking my vow. But doing so would solidify my inability to be a man of my word. I had made and broken too many promises in my life. Thus I made my impossible choice.

In the meantime I awaited the day I could speak my apology as you so desired. Over the years I composed innumerable ones in my head. I imagined getting on my knees and begging your forgiveness. I daydreamed speaking eloquent words that elicited your pardon and mercy. Yet when my opportunity came, I blundered. I understand now no mere words could ever soothe the daily accumulation of cuts my muteness inflicted. My years of silence have destroyed any goodwill you may have extended towards me. This is by far my deepest regret. I will remain forever half in agony, half in hope that you will, in time, forgive me.

D.V. Marvel

Jane wiped her teary eyes. "I...this is...incredible."

"Good incwedible or bad incwedible?"

"Great incredible."

Danny let out a breath and collapsed back in the chair. "I don't think I can send it."

"What? Why?"

"It's too...self-sewving."

"No it isn't!" Jane sniffled and wiped her eyes again. "I'm just glad I hadn't put my makeup on yet. If Cady rejects this, then she's a fool." She waved the paper. "This is amazing. How'd you come up with the wording? It reminds me of Mr. Darcy's letter to Elizabeth."

Danny gave a nod. "I sawta copied it. Is that okay?"

"It's brilliant. I'm just shocked you've read Pride and Prejudice."

"Haven't. I asked Jill for witing advice. She emailed me that dude's letta. And anotha one. From Persuasion."

"Jane Austen knew her romance. And so does Jill. Fabulous job here. Makes me want to marry you myself." She handed back the letter with a suppressed smile. "You'd have to shave first."

Danny laughed.

"Now you need to handwrite it. On some nice stationery."

"Gotcha." He stood. "Have fun on yaw date."

"Thanks."

"Not too much fun."

Jane smirked. "Right." She followed him to the door. "I miss you guys," she said before he opened it. "I got so used to eating with you. Working in the same building. I move a block away and now I never see you."

With a sad smile, Danny said, "Weh back in the cabin now."

"I heard the rumors."

He sighed. "Pwett wanted to be alone. Left on Monday. Val followed on Tuesday." He avoided Jane's gaze. "I don't like bein' alone. I moved Wednesday."

"Do you need your furniture back?" She gestured to the couch and recliners.

"Naw. Val bought some."

"Will you move back to the apartment? Is this just a temporary thing?"

"I hope so." He shook his head. "Somethin' goin' on with 'em."

"What do you mean?"

"Won't talk to me. Secwets." He waved his letter. "Again."

Jane's shoulders sank. "I think it's my fault. I asked about Val's dad." She looked out the window. "Gavin made some comments to me, so I asked Prett about it and...Val later told me. He came over and..." She returned her gaze to Danny. "Told me the whole story."

Danny placed his hand on her arm. "Val? Told ya how his daddy died?"

Jane nodded.

He released her with a heavy breath. "And I thought I was stwugglin' this week. Thanks faw tellin' me."

"Are they going to be okay? I seem to be making a mess of things. Digging in the past."

Danny shook his head. "It's time we did."

*****

The doorbell sent Jane scrambling to finish her mascara application. Alex was much too early. She unplugged her curling iron with reluctance, fluffed her hair and hoped it sufficed. She hurried to the door at the second ring to find Prett standing on her steps. She hadn't seen him since that day in Genevieve's office.

His eyes widened. "I'm sorry, did I catch you in the middle of dressing?"

"Why?" Jane touched her cheek in a panic. "Did I mess up my makeup?"

"No." Prett half turned away. "You're not dressed yet."

Jane glanced down in another panic before saying with relief, "I am so!"

"You're wearing a slip."

"This is a dress."

Prett took another look and scowled. "Not much of one."

"I'll have you know I paid almost two thousand dollars for this!" In a lower pitch she added, "When I had money."

"Could've bought twenty that'd cover you up better." Prett fixed his eyes at her mid-thigh hemline.

Jane's shoulders tightened, and she pressed her lips together. "I'm going on a date with Alex. He'll like it."

"I don't think so." He shook his head and finally looked at her eyes. "He isn't the cocktail party type."

"How would you know?"

"Been making inquiries."

"Inquiries?"

"About his character."

Jane's mouth dropped open in dismay. "You've been vetting him? Why?"

"Making sure he's good enough for you to date."

"You know he is! You grilled him over dinner, remember?"

"That was to hire him as GiGi's attorney. Different criteria for dating him."

Jane crossed her arms. "And what did you find out? In your inquiries."

Prett shrugged. "Decent guy from all accounts. And definitely not the kind who dates girls wearing slip dresses." He jutted his chin at her.

A hot rage bubbled in Jane's chest at his audacity. "I can't believe this. You're acting like you're my father or something!"

"I'm old enough to be."

"You're eight years older than me!"

"Nine."

"Whatever."

"That makes me older and wiser."

"Older, not wiser," Jane snipped.

"More life experience, then."

"And that makes you a relationship expert?"

He shrugged. "I know what a man likes in a woman."

"But not what a woman likes in a man, or you'd still be married." As soon as the words left her mouth, Jane regretted it. She could see she'd hurt him, for he looked away and went silent. "Prett, I–"

"You're right," he interrupted. "I was a lousy husband. I was young and stupid, and spent too much time being angry. And when I finally wised up, it was too late." He turned back to her, holding her eyes with his. "But I'm not the only one standing here with a past. I've learned not to repeat my mistakes. I'm trying to help you not repeat your own. That's all."

Before Jane could gather her thoughts to reply, he strode to his truck, got in, and drove away.

Shaking with anger and remorse, Jane shut the door and threw herself on the couch. She let out a scream that turned to a sob, cursing her inability to control her tongue.

*****

Forty minutes later she hovered at the edge of the front window. When Alex's car pulled up, she wrapped her arms around her waist, her fingers rubbing her silky green blouse tucked into jeans. She prepared to dash to the bedroom for a quick change if needed. Alex exited the car. Jane let out a breath, a mixture of relief that no mad dash was necessary and consternation that Prett had once again been right.

Alex was wearing a polo shirt with jeans.

Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Please help me improve my writing by pointing out problems. And if you like what you read, please click the Vote button below. And comment! I love comments! 😊

Fun Fact: Danny spent five days agonizing over the wording of his letter. I spent two weeks agonizing over it. 😂😂😂 That's why I haven't posted anything for a while. I knew the gist of what his letter should say, just not the details. 

The rest of the chapter was easy to write. Especially Prett and Jane's conversation, since I'd written that snippet years ago. 😉 My intention with that little scene is to frustrate you, my dear reader. I want you to feel frustrated with Jane for always saying the wrong thing at the wrong time and frustrated at Prett for his emotional withdrawal, his passive-aggressive comments, and his aiding Jane in dating "good catch" Alex. I'm evil that way. 😈😁

Fun Fact 2: This chapter's music inspiration couldn't be anything other than "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol. I've long imagined the lyrics from Danny's perspective in regards to both his brothers and Cadence.

The lyrics with my comments in italics:

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone 
(These first two stanzas totally sum up the Marvel brothers' attitudes!)

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world? 

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel 
(Fits perfectly with Danny's letter, doesn't it?)

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough
(Danny knows this all too well. Review Chapter 35 where he said "those three words" to Cadence.)

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life  
(He still has hope.)

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own
(Danny is asking for forgiveness & grace in his letter.)

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see
(Originally I thought of this as him no longer noticing Cadence's scars. However, he also sees himself reflected in her eyes; i.e. her viewpoint--her scorn or acceptance.)

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all
(He keeps trying, but despairs nothing will ever change with his brothers and between he and Cadence.)

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?  

Be sure to vote and comment! ⤵