My annoying alarm clock buzzed on the side of the bed. It was useless though as I reached and turned it off.

I was wide awake and couldn't sleep after fajr prayer and kept staring at the white business card that she had given me yesterday.

Amber Zaid, M.D

She's really something, I'll give her that. I didn't expect my first ever marriage meeting to go like this. I was hoping that when i would meet her, she would shy away from me and nod and smile like a nervous girl. Isn't that how girls are suppose to be like? I mean, yeah back in the day I had dozens of girlfriends and from my experience, girls tend to me a mix; either they are too shy or too forward.

As for Amber; I was expecting a Muslim girl, especially one of Asian origin, to be extremely shy. But boy, was I taken by surprise. She was neither shy nor forward. Rather, she was stoic and reserved. Especially about the way she reacted when the revelation of our age difference came to light.

I mean, that isn't even an issue. I wonder why she reacted the way that she did. Now that I think about it, she's awfully young to have completed her residency and became a MD. If you ask me, I think she must be brilliant to have done at such a young age.

Forget that, what about the outrageous demands that she made. If she wasn't so serious at the time I would've thought that she was joking bit her eyes and facial features emitted solemnness and serious any every sense.

I mean, why did she even make such ridiculous demands? What kind of a husband wouldn't want to get to know there wife and wouldn't want to be involved in the life of their spouse in every way?

From what I can deduce, I think she's an insecure person. What's there to be insecure about anyway? Maybe I might never know.

I sighed deeply and placed the card on the pillow as I yawned and sat upright.

Maybe I should reject this proposal. I don't think that we are compatible with each other.

Yeah, I think I should just tell the imam about my decision tonight.

I yawned again and popped my knuckles. After that i staggers to the bathroom to get ready.

**********

After a long day's work, I found myself driving towards the east to where my grandmother was. About an hour ago she called and insisted that i see her immediately. I panicked and quickly dealt with whatever I was doing and rushed to her.

As I parked my car out, I jumped out and ran towards the entrance. The home attendants were surprised to see me this late in the evening but I didn't bear them any mind.

"Grandma!" I burst through her door, causing her to flinch and gasp in shock.

"Oh Sonny, are you trying to give me a heart attack?" She exclaimed as she placed a hand on her heart.

I sighed and chortled heartily. "No but are you trying to give me one? Your call scare me out of my pants. Seriously Gran I don't wanna die so young yet." I joked truthfully and sat beside her on the bed.

"Keep your pants up, you naughty boy. And no your not gonna die anytime soon." She assured and pinched my cheek. I smiled and kissed her palm.

"But seriously Gran, your call scared the living day lights out me. I thought that you were in an accident or something, Astaghfirullah," I breathed and closed my eyes, laying my head on her lap.

She chucked and passed her hand through my hair, causing my tense body to relax. She knew exactly how much I loved it whenever she did that. She has always sone this since I was small. The soothing feeling of her soft finger passing lovingly on my head was just peaceful and sublime. I'm grateful to Allah that He blessed me such a wonderful grandmother. She's the only mother that i have ever known.

I wish that she would also change like I did. When I converted to Islam, I even invited the only family I had; my grandparents. But them being such staunch Catholics, they appreciated my invitation but rejected, claiming that they were complete and peaceful with the faith that they were born and raised with. Even now, Gran always goes to attend mass on Sundays and always wears her gold cross.

"Sonny?" Gran shook my shoulders lightly. I realized that I had fallen asleep on her knees. But those few minutes of relaxation did me wonders.

"Oh sorry," I mumbled as I sat up. I didn't realize how tired I was till now as a few joints and bones popped as I propelled myself upward in a sitting position and yawned heavily.

"it's okay. I noticed that you were tired. Sonny don't work too hard otherwise you'll start to look like me in a few years." She joked. I grinned.

"What? You mean beautiful and glowing as the epitome of youth?" I teased and winked at her. She gave me her fresh smile and ruffled my hair.

"Now then," she started and began to shift on her bed as she bowed a little towards the corner table near her bed and took something out.

"The reason I called you is because I wanted to give you something," she said as she opened the small cubical box and showed it to me. In it was a platinum right that held three large diamonds in a row.

"Oh, Grandma." I exclaimed breathlessly. It was a family heirloom that has been passing on through the generations in my family. This one was particularly special because my great great grandfather hand crafted it when he bought the three diamonds from China. This ring has adorned the fingers of those women in my family that have laid milestones of love and and dedication.

"Are you sure that i should have this?" I asked her nervously. I mean, I wasn't the eldest. This right should go to the eldest bride of my household.

She nodded her head satisfatorily. "Of course. I saved this one piece especially for you Sonny." She said.

I smiled at her wholeheartedly. "Thank you Grandma." I said.

"I want you to hold the engagement party as soon as possible because I want to see that ring in your bride's finger." She claimed. I sighed and scratched the back of my neck: feeling awkward all of a sudden. Maybe I shouldn't have told her in the first place before confirming anything.

"About that,"

"What's wrong? Don't tell me that you already had the party and forgot to invite me?" She said sadly with a pout.

I chuckled. "Of course not Gran. You know that I would never do that to you. Besides you, who else do I have in this world." I stated jocundly. She grinned ear to ear. Her eyes were twinkling with happiness. I haven't seen her like this in a long time. Especially since grandpa died, the light in her eyes faded. But now That I see it again, it would kill me to take that happiness away from her.

"Good," she breathed and rested her head on the headrest of her bed. I sighed and looked away from her.

What should I do? Maybe I can ask the imam to look for someone else for me. Nah- what are you thinking Zac? It isn't clothes that he can easily look for which would suit me or not. This is a serious matter and looking for proposals is difficult. Especially since it took the imam so long to finally land me a proposal.

"Gran, tell me something: if I left you here alone and moved somewhere far away, then what would you do?" I asked, my head bowed between my shoulders.

"What do you mean? Where are you going?" She asked in a concerned tone. I turned to her and smile. "Please answer my question first." I said and kept my eyes on her.

She lightly shrugged. "Well, if you gotta go then you gotta go. Distance means nothing especially when it concerns a loved one. If you life takes you somewhere where I can't be with you then I'm alright with it. It's your life Sonny." She said affectionately. Her statement clenched my heart.

"If I asked you to come with me, would you?" I asked, feeling a lump rise in my throat. She shook her head. "No Sonny, I can't do that. It's your life and it's time that you enjoyed your life the way you want. You have always lived for my and your grandfather's happiness but this time, I want you to do whatever you want for yourself and yourself alone. And besides, you don't need me anymore." She sighed.

I immediately took her hands in mine. "Don't ever say that, I will always need you. What kind of a son can live without his mother?" I kissed her knuckles and placed them on my eyes.
Oh God, I can't believe that she told me that i can leave her here alone. I knew that she would say just that but I had hoped that she would reject me moving away and then I could easily build a strong resolve to reject the proposal. But now I find it hard.

I want to take care of her now just as she did for me. She's needs me now the most and I just can't leave her here. Astaghfirullah if something happened to her while I'm away then what will I do?

I guess I am overreacting a bit because come on let's face the facts. If anyone from my old life were to see me now, fretting over this issue then they would surely laugh. I mean, it's pretty common for the young to become estranged towards their parents and get on with their lives but not me. I would stick with my Gran even if it costs me.

I mean, I'm no hurry but I'm not getting any younger either. And my desperate need for companionship is also a driving force.

I sighed deeply.

"What's the matter Sonny?" She asked. I raised my head and smiled.

"Nothing, everything is fine now." I said and sat upright. Squaring my shoulders, I slid the small cubical box in my pant pocket. After saying my goodnight and kissing her forehead and tucking her in bed, I quietly made me way out of the old home and into my car.

It was just past Isha time so I decided to visit the masjid and then meet with the imam after.

***********

Passing my hands over my face, I sighed and stood up, taking the skull cap of my head. Other men surrounding also started to roam around and leave.

My mind was still wrapped up in my predicament. My heart didn't want to accept this proposal but my mind was adamant. This is as good as it gets.

I mean, if I look at it--she's young, a successful doctor and seems to have humble beginnings and she seems like a decent Musalamaan lady. She seemed grateful.

So what if she has made a few requests. Besides my Grandma, what else do I have here? I can easily land a hood job what with my credentials.

I don't have any friends here and my family hasn't spoken to me in years so I don't see what else is stopping me.

Maybe I really am just over thinking.

Maybe it's premarital jitters. Yeah that must be it.

I chuckled to myself at my foolishness. And here I thought that I was ready.

I lightly knocked on the door. When I heard heard a confirmation to come in, I closed the door behind me and sat in front of the imam.

"Asalam Alaikum brother," he greeted cheerily.

"Walaikum Asalam," I greeted back. There was a moment of silence as we were both waiting for one of us to start. I sure as hell wasn't going to.

"So," he began, much to my relief. "Have you come up with a decision?" He asked passively. I sighed and sat back, crossing my legs.

"First, I would like to know a few things." I stated to which he nodded his head.

"You have know me for the past two years now sir. I highly respect you so that's why I think that the person you chose to be my life partner is the best. I don't doubt that for a second but still, I would like to know. What is your personal opinion about her? What do you think that i should do?" I asked.

He pursed his lips into a tight line. "Indeed Zackriya I have known you for the past two years and I was honored to witness your shahada Alhamdulillah that's why when you asked me to look for a possible wife candidate for you, the first person that came to my mind was Amber. I have known her for the past eight years now," he revealed. I was surprised to learn this.

"She has been coming to this masjid ever since she arrived her in New York. Though she has always been a loner, I consider her like a daughter and you like a son. And I know for a fact that both of you are lonely. As far as I can tell, you both suit each other very well. I have seen her always alone and submerged in her studies and work. Then same can be said about you. Belive it or not but I see many similar traits in you two. For one, you as a mere both hard workers.
"After careful consideration, especially after you requested and then soon after I received her request as well. And that's when fate kicked in. I think you both are destined to be togther." He chuckled humorously but his tone held absolute seriousness.

I also laughed lightly and stared at my hands. "But still, from what I can tell. She seemed like an insecure and cynic person." I mumbled.

"You might be right about that. Her strict routine must've made her that way."

"You said that she also requested to have have a spouse candidate found. What about her family?" I asked. The imam was already aware of my position but he was take aback at my curious question.

"I have no idea," he shrugged. "I have never met them. I think they reside in Pakistan or something. Amber has been very keen on her private life. Nonr of us ever asked and she never said anything." He stated. I shook my head in affirmation.

"Anyways, you both can come to know each other after you have some to a decision. So, what do you think?"

I shrugged. "I think I'm cool with it now. I'll talk to her timorrow." I informed him. All of a sudden, his eyes lighted up and he grinned happily.

"Subhan Allah, that is good to know." He said. I smiled as well. Amber must be someone very special that it makes him so happy for her on my account.

Maybe it isn't so bad as well. Yeah, I think I'm definitely cool with spending the rest of my life with her.

I mean, if that's what Allah wills then so be it.

***********

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