ZAKRIYA ISLAM

She narrowed her eyes and scoffed. "Why are we even talking about this? Is it because of what happened in Murree? Are you trying to cajole me into crying my heart out to you?" she scorned. "Well, please stop if you are. I think that you should know that it's none of your business. So don't try to breech my demands; don't force your intentions on me or try to inquire about my personal life." She stated coldly.

"I believe that you Americans fall in love everyone now and then. Do you even you  what loving only one person is all about?  I bet you don't so please don't start this drama of falling in love with  me because I'm not buying it." she mocked. I clenched my fists hard and tried to control the bubbling anger inside of me.

I shouldn't be surprised at her bitter misinterpretation of my confession but I was. I was hurt as well. I was hurt at how coldly she dismissed my feelings as if they weighed next to nothing. Is she that dead bent on not believing me that she would be so rude and mean?

She was shooting daggers at me. My anger was somewhat down now so I breathed in deeply to further calm myself.

"Tell me something Bree, why did you marry?" I asked. She frowned do I further elaborated. "Ours is certainly not a love marriage. It makes me wonder why you married me to begin with. I understand that you did it because you're initial goal was to get pregnant. Other than that, you never told me." I insinuated. She sighed and leaned her elbows on the table.

"I don't know-perhaps, I wanted to marry a man who was more open minded. I have always found Pakistani men to be a little bit conservative and narrow-minded. So while I was in the US, I made a crude and quick decision to get married before leaving. I knew that no man would agree to my demands. But I had to try. I never thought that I would succeed." She answered. "and even if I married I most certainly didn't get married for love or anything like that." she replied. It's not only unwomanly of her to admit this but also heart wrenching.

"But why did you agree Zac? I don't know why but I pity you. You're stuck with me. It's almost painful to see you yield to my demands. I have always wondered why though." She mused. I stared at her. So she pities me just because I respect her wishes? Well isn't that audacious of her. But there's no way that I'm about to let her negate my feelings for her.

***********
AMBER ZAID

Why is he sprouting such nonsense so early in the morning. I almost resisted the urge to roll my eyes but I couldn't over look the sincerity in his clear blue eyes.

It made my heart feel something strange and my anger seemed to dissipate a little. He was clearly hurt by my sudden rejection of his feelings but what can I do? I can't risk myself. I refuse to put myself at the mercy of his whims. He was willing to share his feelings and what he had been through with me and I wanted to embrace them but my pride and integrity was against it.

I clenched my hands into tight fists-I had resolved to trust him a little but after my encounter with my parents in Murree, my previous fears and speculations about people resurfaced and I was back in my shell. And now, I wasn't willing to compromise like I had earlier for his sake.

"I don't know but just like you, I made a quick decision of getting married. I was alone and I didn't want to be lonely anymore. I wanted to marry a chaste and pious Muslim woman who was born a Muslim so that my line could continue on in the light of Islam." He told. My brows furrowed and he must've recognized my perplexity.

"Are you aware that I wasn't born a Muslim?" he asked. I shook her head in the negative. He sighed and looked at his hands resting on the table. "You see, I was born into an atheistic family. I converted to Islam almost three years from now. I was the idle child with my brother Jake being the eldest and my sister Sally. My parents were successful entrepreneurs and were able to set up a small adverting firm. But in the process, they mainly neglected us kids. Jake was always busy in school and Sally was young so my grandparents took me in when I was five. So you can understand my attachment to my grandmother more. My Gran raised me to be a good person. I was an average student in school but an excellent student in College. But thats when my life started to take a turn. My Grandparents were strict Protestant Christians while my parents had embraced atheism in their years due to which my grandparents didn't try to keep in much touch with them but still the situation was good"

"It was in College that I began to feel a shallowness inside of me: I used to go to church as much as I could. I tried to be a good Christian but I still felt dissatisfied. I felt a sense of emptiness in myself. So I did what I wanted. I turned to drinking and every night there was new girl in my bed. When I started doing this then I felt a certain sense of fulfillment but it didn't erase that emptiness in me. I began to ignore that feeling. I was going through tough times and even though I couldn't share it with Gran, she used to feel my awkwardness and gave me tons of advice. At first I didn't tell her anything because she would discuss it with my Grandpa and boy, was he a strict guy," he chuckled at the memory, his blue eyes gleaming with delight.

"He was a retired Colonel from the army and therefore he was very strict that's why when my parents deviated from the way they were supposed to stay, his approach towards them was very unwelcoming." he told. I grimaced to myself at realizing the certain coincidence of our families related to their respective military alliances. Before my mind could remember or even flash a memory, I quickly diverted my eyes on my cell phone and began to view the two files that I had left for later.

"Amber?" Zac called, his voice sounding a bit offended. I raise my face to him. He was looking at me with  solemn eyes. I've now realized that whenever he's serious he calls me by my full name. So I put my phone away and gave him my full attention.

"So as I was saying, in college I met with this guy. He was a recent convert to Islam. We both became good friends. In my second year, he invited me over to his place for dinner on Eid. When I went, I met with his family and they were the nicest and sweetest people that I had met in my life. And that's when I started noticing that they had a certain aura to them. They had a certain look in their eyes: something that I wanted as well. That's when I got to know about Islam through my friend. And I started reading and studying the Qur'an. And in my final year of college, I converted." he finished.

I didn't know how exactly I was suppose to react to this piece of information. So I quietly nodded and stared at him. He sighed. "When I told my Grandparents, Gran accepted me but Grandpa was so disappointed that he didn't speak to me or allow me back in his house for a while. And maybe you can guess what my parents did?" he asked and chuckled humorlessly. I shook my head in the negative.

"Well, they disowned me. I had expected them to do as such but Islam had taught me to respect my parents so I didn't resent them. I tried to approach them many times but they completely shut me out. Jake still remained in touch but Sally, like my parents, hasn't spoken to me in all these years. Grandpa accepted me back after I was completely boycotted from the family because I was alone. And he loved me. And from that point onwards, I learned that love is a very important thing. When I was completely boycotted and I had no one to call my own, I prayed to Allah a lot. Those were very tough times for me Amber," he muttered and grasped my hand. I tried to shake it off but he kept a tight hold on my hand and wrapped it with his fingers. His eyes looked at me with such sincerity that I forgot for a while that we were in a cafe full of people and that we were holding hands in broad Day light.

Before I could say anything, I heard the waiter clear his throat and I quickly slipped my hand out of Zac's grasp. Our food arrived and we ate in silence. I was still thinking about what he said. I used to think that he's a man who has lived his life in comfort that's why he's so easy going and his optimistic outlook on life always had me a bit irate but I could've never guessed that I was so wrong. He's not like me: who's left bitter after her past experiences. No, he's one of those people who still look for the positive aspects in everything.

And that's the main reason why I took him for granted. Even now, I must be hurt his feelings so much. I often wonder myself: what comes over me that I become so rude and cruel towards him. After all, I'm older then him, I should be more mature.

Maybe, just maybe, this is my chance. Allah has finally given me a chance to forget about my past and be myself with him. I should be honest with myself-- I want to fall in love and be loved back but it frightens me.

"Bree," he started and wiped his mouth with the handkerchief. "I don't expect you to return my feelings. Nothing you do or say will change how I feel about you. You are my wife after all. Whether you like it or not, I as tour husband, was bound to fall in love with you because Allah lays love for one's spouse without any effort from the said party regardless of how one feels. I believe that maybe Allah must've seen the honest intent in my heart towards you, maybe that's why He is making me fall for you and I welcome it wholeheartedly." he declared, his voice clear and resonant.

My heart began to race at his declaration and butterflies rose at the pit of my stomach. I kind of liked the sound of that. And I couldn't negate him this time or maybe I didn't want to because whatever he said till now was something I had wanted to hear for the longest of time from someone--all I had wanted was for someone to love me for who I am and now God has handed me him on a silver platter. I should be grateful.

"Come on, let's go, I need to head for work." he said and got up after paying the bill. I sighed and got up. We once even had a fight on who would pay the bill and him being a gentleman, not only minded that I had paid the bill but warned me next time not to do it. And after that, I have never denied him. He's always out to spoil me and I don't like it: what if I get used to it and then when he's not with me anymore then how will I adjust myself again?

As we walk back to the car, he was walking a bit faster and ahead of me: I notice how  broad his back is. And everywhere we go, people have eyes on us: mostly looking at us with envy while others with admiration. I should be lucky that I got such a handsome husband.

Maybe it's about time I give him a chance.

He opened my side of the door for me and I sat inside.

No, I don't need to belittle myself by surrendering to the whims of a man: especially someone as soft as him. I pity him. Why is he allowing himself to be so free and caring towards me? I haven't done anything that would make him do so.

But, it's always this damn pride that comes in the way-- there is no shame in being loved or to love. After all, all I want is a child that I could shower my love upon.

Even now, looking at how honest he's been with me from the start, he is nothing short of perfect for me: I have never sensed any betrayal from him. All that I have ever sensed and felted and gotten from him is respect and perhaps even love.

Fuck my pride. From now on I'm going to focus on my present and stop worrying about my future. I owe myself that much after isolating myself from the world for so long.

************

ZAKRIYA ISLAM

"Zac," she called when I sat in the driver's seat. "Yes babe," I said without looking at her and pushed the key in the ignition. Instead of answering, she quickly got out and came to my door and opened it. I frowned. "let me drive." she offered. "Why?"

"I want to take you somewhere."she  instigated. "But I have to go to work. Maybe some other time." I tried to excuse myself but a gloomy look overcame her brown eyes and she staeed at me. "You want to get to know me right?" she said, her voice low. I nodded and then a goofy smile played on my lips. I quickly obeyed and hot out.

I just couldn't wait to see what she was about to show me. I felt giddy as a school boy bit oh man, was I glad that she's opened up a little to me. I glanced at her from the corner of my eye as she drove. She had a passive yet thoughtful expression on her face. Thank You Allah for letting her trust me a little. Maybe my confession really did make it through her icy heart and effected her a little.

She drove us towards Zamzama and stopped outside a boutique named:

'Amber's Emporium'

Wait a second. "come on,"  she urged and got out. I was completely speechless as I got out and followed her inside. The shop was small but very tidy and neatly decorated.

"Ah, welcome Ms. Amber." a girl came towards us. Amber nodded towards her and asked her to bring us some tea.

I was still a bit shocked and stared at Amber as she began to inspect some clothes hanging in a rack. An awkward silence built between us.

"Bree?" I started, my voice a bit hoarse so I cleared my throat and tucked my hands in my pant pockets. She hesitated before turning to me, her head a little bowed.

When  she turned to me, her face was flushed as tomato. I chuckled at her adorable expression and walked towards her. Her eyes were low so u pushed a finger under her chin and lifted it up to my eye level. She still wasn't looking at me.

"Look at me Bree," I murmured softly. Her gleaming brown orbs stared at me. I saw her throat move up and down as she swallowed and took a step back. "Welcome to my Emporium." she pronounced.

I grinned and nodded. "Thank you," I started to inspect the clothes. They were basically traditional and heavily embroidered clothes. "Come, there's even a section for gents." she took my hand and lead me up stairs. There were many embroidered clothes. I touched the material and it seemed to look like the finest.

I was about to turn around when I felt Bree behind me measuring my shoulders. "Hmm, ya chalay ga (I think this'll do)," I heard her muse lowly.

"Okay why don't you go and try this on." she directed. I obeyed and followed her to a changing room. The kurta was nice, in a cream white color with slight white embroidery. I examined the tag on it and when I read 'Amber's Emporium' on it, my heart swelled with pride. I can't believe that I have such a talented and hard working wife.

The kurta was comfortable especially considering the cool weather of Karachi these days. Of course it's wasn't cold in the least as compared to New York but still the weather a bit cool in the  evenings. The kurta was a perfect fit. I felt released because I was dressed in my track suit and I was about to head for work dressed so informally.

I chuckled to myself when I realized that Amber detected that anomaly before me and had me dress into this formal kurta. When I got out, she had already selected a dark colored sleeveless vest for me as well. I shrugged into it and looked at myself in the mirror.

The girl from downstairs came up and placed a tray of tea and refreshments on a nearby table.

"Mashaa Allah, yay Kitnay handsome hain. Kon hain yay? Koi pathan ya kashmir? (he's so handsome, who is he? A pathan or a kashmiri?)" I heard her ask Bree in a low voice. I saw her through her reflection as she stared at me, her eyes twinkling and a self satisfied smirk adoring her features. I understood what that girl said and I was also anticipating her reply. Without looking at the girl, she replied. "Amriki gora hai aur mera Shohar Hai (he's an American Caucasian and my Husband)," her locked with mine through the mirror.

"Wow ma'am, Kia baat Hai. Aap may amrika Mai reh Kar aik Amriki say shadi karli(wow, you stayed in America and even married an American)," she probed and by now I pretty much understood what she was talking about. Suddenly I felt modest gave Bree an assuring smile through my reflection.

"Magar aap nay shadi Kar li aur btaya b nai. Kam AZ Kam treat to hony chahie (but you got married and didn't even inform me. At least you should give me a treat)," the girl chirped. Amber broke our eye contact and chuckled at the girl.

"Acha, apnay lie dus hazaar ka cheque kaat lo aur jo b chahie yay lo ya jo b suit acha lagta Hai, meri Taraf say treat samj k lay lo (OK, cut yourself a ten thousand cheque and get whatever you want or choose any suit that you like and consider it as a treat from me)," she spoke fluently, a small smile gracing her lips as she addressed the girl, who began to jump up and down in excitement. Bree dismissed her and returned back to looking at me. "It suits you well," she commented and stood behind me. I turned around and cupped her face delicately into my hands.

"I have no words, all I can say is that you're amazing. I didn't know that you had such amazing talent for designing." I commended. She blushed and tried to look away but I quickly leaned in and brushed my lips on hers.

"You said that you wanted to get to know me well this is me. I opened this boutique three years ago using the money I had saved up from my practice in New York. This boutique, though small and has only one branch: is quite famous and well in demand." she started. "I always had a knack for designing. I had even saved up many sketches that I had drawn from med school days. And so, I established this dream when Allah made me an accomplished person. I smiled and planted a kiss on her forehead.

"I'm so proud of you."i muttered. She nodded and removed my hands from her face and began to smooth the slight wrinkles on the vest. Her gentle hands on my chest were so comforting. I hugged her gently and leaned my chin against her forehead, my nose buried in the hair that was revealed out in the front from her dupatta: her rosy scent turning me on but I had to control myself after all its still so early.

"We best hurry before we are both late for work." she said and left. I agreed and followed her.

***********

The week passed by and before the weekend came. I was glad because I had planned on taking Bree to a beech resort that was located outside of Karachi. I had also planned on telling her or rather gifting her half of the inheritance that Gran had left me. Seeing as how much in high demand her designs were, it's only fitting that she open up a chain of stores around Pakistan and I'm sure that I had enough money to help her establish that. I mean after all, I wasn't going to do anything with that much money so mind as well gift it to my beloved wife. I know she won't accept it as a gift but if I say that I want to invest them maybe she'll approve.

I woke up around 8am after Fajr and as usual the bed was empty. I sighed. I had even asked her if she is free this weekend and she said that she was but where is she now? Maybe she's in the study? I got up and quickly freshened up. Thankfully the door of the study room was slightly ajar so I felt relieved that she was still at home. I went ahead to the kitchen and made myself and Bree some coffee. While I was waiting and scrolling down my notification board on my phone, I heard footsteps.

"Zac?" amber called, her voice light. I raised my head and found her standing at the frame of the door, I felt my breath leave me and before my phone would fall to the floor, I quickly shoved it in my pocket and stares at her in awe.

Her hands were on her stomach and on her face was the brightest and biggest smile that I had ever seen. My heart fluttered at seeing her smile for the first time.  It wasn't a professional or a formal smile but rather a genuine, pristine and happy smile adorned her face, which touched her eyes and they beamed right at me with mirth.

"Bree?" I questioned, a smile rising on my face as well. She came towards me and hugged me tightly.

"Oh Zac, I'm so happy," she murmured. I hugged her back. Thank God, my prayers have been answered.
"I'm pregnant!"she declared and hugged me even more tightly.

"Subhan Allah," I murmured.

OKAY GUYS, I NOTICED THAT YOU AREN'T COMMENTING YOUR THOUGHTS SO I REALLY NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THIS.

OH AND DON'T WORRY THERE'S STILL MORE TO COME SO PLZ VOTE AND COMMENT YOUR THOUGHTS.

ALSO I SHOULD POINT OUT:in Pakistan we have people of diversity and many ethnic groups esp from the northern areas are thought to be descendents of European Caucasians that's why in Pakistan if you are white then you are thought to be with Pathan (from the Frontier province)  or a kashmiri (from kashmir)

Anyways, until the next update, till then plz let me know what you guys think of the story so far.