On the evening of 31 March, James, Peter and Remus were awakened by the sounds of pig squeals and Sirius announcing that It Was Time and urging them to get up from their slumbers and don their slippers. Peter passed around chunks of chocolate and they nibbled quietly as they followed Sirius through the portrait hole and down through the castle, a silencing charm cast upon Patti Pig so that her cries would not alert Filch to their location.

"Should've knownsies that you four would be on the prowwwwwl," cooed Peeves, twisting and turning over their heads as they descended the steps.

"Bugger off, Peeves," Sirius said, waving his lit wand in the poltergeist's direction.

Peeves said, "Should tells on you I shoulds!"

"Peeves," James said, exasperated, "I solemnly swear that we're up to no good, alright? We're trying to play an April Fool's joke!"

Peeves clapped his hand, "Ohhh yes yes yes, this is the sorts of thing Peevsie approves of! Good work gentlemens!" and he spun head over heels several times in midair. "Tell old Peevsie how to help the Marauders conduct their evillll?"

"You could distract Filch for us," Remus suggested.

Peeves grinned and saluted, "One distraction, coming up!"

Sirius leaned over the banister to watch him go. Then he asked, "Time?"

"Forty-three past midnight," James reported, glancing at the Mickey watch on his wrist, which he'd taken to wearing without any grand to-do, so that none of the Marauders had even noticed it. 

Sirius nodded, "Brilliant. C'mon." And they snuck on through the halls, down the stairs, until they'd reached the painting of the pear in the very depths of the school, where Peter said the kitchens were hidden. Peter tickled the pear and the painting swung open and revealed a dark kitchen. The only light was the dying embers in the fireplace. The air smelled of pork chops and spices and apples.

"Oh bloody hell," he looked sick immediately. With the full moon less than a week away, Remus was feeling quite queasy over every scent that accosted his nose. "It smells like pork in here!"

James gave Remus an apologetic look.

"Oi, you saying pork smells funny?" Sirius raised a challenging eyebrow at Remus.

James said, "Your pig is not pork."

"Technically," Remus said, "It is."

"Those pork chops were rather delightful tonight, though, weren't they?" Peter asked, breathing deeply and relishing the memory of them. He looked around at the other boys. "I mean, weren't they brilliant? And with that gravy and the mash?"

Sirius had led them across the kitchen to the large refrigerated room. "Alohamora," he declared, aiming his wand.

"Where do you reckon all the elves are?" Peter asked.

"Sleeping?" James suggested.

"Or else doing other chores," Remus added.

Sirius pulled open the refrigerator doors. "Here we are gentleman," he announced.

"Blimey," shivered Remus.

The Marauders stepped inside the fridge and Sirius kicked a box of lemons into the door's opening so it wouldn't swing shut behind them, and there they stood, looking about and shivering. Remus quickly tugged on an extra jumper from his bag.

The refrigerated room was about the size of their dormitory, with deep shelves that went up and up and up and up what appeared a couple stories high. There were little rolling ladders like in a library on both sides - the better for the elves to reach everything with. The shelves were stocked full. Baskets of greens,  cartons of eggs, wrapped meats and fish, boxed and bags of fruits, and large containers of pre-cooked, chopped, and prepared ingredients, leftovers, and -- what they'd come for -- the next morning's breakfast foods.

Sirius waved them over to a long counter in the back where tubs of porridge and oatmeal sat with logs of butter and several packages of bacon and sausages, and a big box of peeled, sliced, and seasoned potatoes. They stood gathered around the breakfast foods, staring down at them.

"Gentlemn," Sirius said, "They couldn't have made it easier if they'd tried."

Remus said, "Somehow I have a feeling this is going to be a teachable moment for the house elves tomorrow."

James was smirking.

Peter said, "Should we save some aside for ourselves?"

"Ninny, it wouldn't effect us," Sirius whispered.

"I don't know," Peter answered.

Remus said, "I mean, the worst that would happen is we'd be ourselves, wouldn't we?"

"True," Peter admitted.

They stood there, staring at the food for a few moments, and then Sirius asked, "Alright. Who's going to be which food?"

James said, "Oi, I call bacon."

"Of course you do," said Sirius, Remus, and Peter all at once. They all laughed. Then, "I'll be oatmeal," said Remus.

Peter chose the butter and Sirius took the potatoes and they reached into their robes and withdrew bottles, uncorking them and each plucking a hair from their own heads, slipping them into the bottles, and watching the foam and smoke coming from the mouths of the containers. They stood, waiting, unsure how long it took to set.

"This is literally the best idea I've ever had," whispered Sirius.

"And you're sure this isn't going to get us in a load of trouble?" Remus asked, nervously.

Sirius said, "Since it isn't technically polyjuice - yes." He swirled his bottle about a bit. "It's close enough to work, but not quite the real thing. So we're out of the legal implications. I looked it up. In an actual book."

"Seriously, where do you find these books?" Remus asked. "Was it titled Doing Things That Are Basically Illegal With A Technical Loophole That Will Keep You Out of Trouble, but Only Barely, In the Name of April Fool's Day Pranking?" 

"Actually, it was," Sirius said, sounding surprised.

Remus blinked, "What?"

"I'm kidding," Sirius laughed, "But you ought to have seen the look on your face. Your eyes nearly buggered out of your head!"

"Fellas," James said, clearing his throat, "Can we get on with it? The whole point of planning this for months was to be able to be in and out and actually get some sleep tonight for once in our lives."

Sirius beamed, "We'll sleep plenty when we're dead."

"Oh don't joke about that," Peter begged. It had, after all, only been a couple days since he'd been certain they were all destined to die. 

"Sorry Pete," Sirius said off handedly, then, "Alright, I reckon this potions set long enough. Gentlemen -- bottoms up."

The next morning, the students of Hogwarts all awoke and checked their furniture, that they weren't flipped upside down somehow. Seeing the world was at least rightside up was a comfort. However, they all were quite careful when reaching for the doorknobs, afraid that they might be bitten, but that wasn't it either. They held their breaths stepping through doorways, expecting charm and curses to be set off as they passed through the jam, but no - that was not the prank, either.

Ravenclaws could be seen waving wands to end enchantments on nearly everything they touched. Carpets, lamps, door handles. The Hufflepuffs traveled in packs through the halls, holding onto one another, as though this might protect them from being the first ones that figured out what the Marauder's prank was this year... Even the Slytherins were jumpy and checking everything twice with keen eyes full of suspicion.

McGonagall eyeballed the suits of armor, but not one of them sang.

Dumbledore tapped the flush on the toilet three times before actually pushing it down, and when he went to wash his hands in the sink he half expected to turn blue. But he didn't.

Everyone was on edge. Everyone was just waiting. Everyone knew there would be something, and it was only a matter of time before they knew what.

Having made it through their morning routines safely and unaffected, the students and staff were starting to get even more suspicious than they'd been. Where was it? What was it?

And hen it was time for breakfast.

The Marauders were among the first to arrive at the Great Hall, and they sat in the empty Gryffindor table, looking about, waiting for the food to arrive on the tables, waiting for students to meander into the Hall. There was a lot of talk and glancing their way from students at other table, and wary stares down the table for other Gryffindors.

"Mind telling me what you've done?" Frank asked as he and Ali sank into their places on the bench. "I've been going bonkers all morning trying not to get the magic scared out of me."

Sirius looked up, "Frank. Please. Imagine you were me a moment."

Frank replied, "I'd rather not."

Sirius smirked.

Lily, who had come and sat down as they were talking, said, "Nobody could ever imagine being you. There is, thankfully, only one you."

"For now," Sirius murmured quietly. The other three Marauders laughed, but Lily hadn't heard him properly.

"Excuse me?" she asked.

But at that very moment, breakfast popped up on the tables all around the Great Hall, and people started to gather their foods onto their plates. Sirius glanced at the other three, his eyes dancing with excitement... and they all looked about the room, waiting for the first...

And then it happened.

It was a Ravenclaw - a fifth year in a rush to get back to her dormitory to study for her O.W.L.s had grabbed a piece of toast and thrown a large pat of butter upon it and started to run from the room, but she stuck the toast into her mouth to adjust her book bag and instead there was an almighty popping sound as the girl's narrow robes ripped a bit at the seams as her body vibrated and expanded and she swelled and shrunk at the same time and let out a loud squealing cry and -- suddenly, there was another Peter.

You would imagine that one instance of it would have been it, that everyone would've stopped eating to get a load of the Ravenclaw girl who had just morphed into Peter Pettigrew in the Great Hall, but everyone had had just enough time to collect their foods from their platters so that as she was changing over, everyone else were just taking their first bites of their favorite foods. There were several James Potters by the time people started to catch on, and Sirius Blacks and Remus Lupins, too. People were screaming as the Great Hall began to fill up with Marauders! One by one by one by one --

James snorted when he looked down the table to see at least six more of himself sitting all around, including in Frank, Ali, and Lily's seats.

"Oh my bloody hell what is happening?" Lily-James asked, "Oh my gods. WHAT -- POTTER!"

James was near to tears.

"MR. BLACK!" bellowed Sirius's voice from the staff table, and they all looked and in McGonagall;s usual spot sat Sirius and Remus in Professor Flitwick's and Dumbledore was Peter. James snorted, holding his belly as he laughed uproariously.

"Oh we are so bloody dead for this," said Remus.

Sirius laughed, "But it's bloody worth every detention we receive!"

"Here, here," James replied, raising a glass.

Peter was giggle-snorting.

Suddenly, a very angry Sirius was behind him, grabbing onto Sirius with his own hands, "Mr. Black!" it shouted, "What is the meaning --"

"Hang on," Sirius said in as dumb a voice a he could muster, "I'm not the real Sirius!" Quickly, he pointed down the table, "He is."

And the angry Sirius turned to another cluster where a set of four Marauders sat.

Sirius grinned, "Now's our chance to relocate ourselves..." and he jumped up and hurried out of the Great Hall in the rush of students attempting to get to a mirror to inspect themselves in the toilets. The other three real Marauders followed him, and they ran, breathlessly laughing, all the way back to the safety of their dormitory.

They doubled over when they arrived, landing on their beds and clutching their bellies.

"Did you see the look on McGonagall's face, though?" Sirius hooted.

"You mean on your face?" James wheezed.

"I'm so fucking happy that she ate potatoes first," Sirius laughed.

"I am, too, actually, that was perfect," snorted James.

"And Dumbledore as me!" Peter snickered.

Even Remus was near to tears laughing.

It took hours for the effects to wear off so that the entire castle was full of Marauders half the day, and many people took it as a license to prank others throughout the day so that the spirit of April Fool's Day was high and people could be heard laughing and clapping all about the school. And sure they were given a heavy amount of detentions once McGonagall figured out which ones were the actual Marauders, but, as Sirius had said, it was bloody worth it.