Magnificoooooooo Distractions

Over the next week, Lily tried very hard to meet with Professor Slughorn about the missing vial of Wolfsbane potion, but for the first time Slughorn seemed to have a full schedule. He rushed from the classroom following lessons, hurrying to his office in a most distracted manner, and he regretfully declined Lily's request for a tea, citing a "very busy schedule" and requesting that they talk in one month's time about another possible date to have one of their "delightful chats". The one time that Lily went down to the dungeons to visit the professor unannounced, she was welcomed into his office, only to find that he was there brewing with Severus Snape already. "Extra-curriculars," he said stand-offishly, shielding the lavender potion's recipe from her carefully as Severus stirred the cauldron, his eyes staring quite piercingly at Lily, even as she backed out of the office, saying she would come back at another time when Slughorn was less busy. 

"You ought to have outed him right there!" Sirius announced, "I bloody would like to see the look on his face if you had!"

Lily shook her head, "I didn't think it wise. Merlin knows what he'd have done if he thought that we had anything to do with him being caught at stealing that potion!" She looked sagely at Remus.

"True enough," James said, nodding. "Good call, Evans."

Sirius sighed, sinking over the arm of the couch in the Trophy Room Passageway. "I'm so tired of walking on eggshells around that greasy twat." He rubbed his eyes. "Deserves a good boot up the arse is what he deserves."

"Might enjoy that too much," Peter muttered, concentrating on his Tarot cards and divination stones, trying to divine something more about the danger that the werewolves were in because of Fenrir Greyback's access to the Wolfsbane Potion, but there was no forthcoming answers coming from the universe.

Remus looked down at the half-eaten bar of chocolate he was working on and dejectedly wrapped the foil about it and shoved it into his pocket, his anxiety over the whole situation stealing even the joy from his chocolate. He leaned his back against Sirius's legs as Sirius sat up, his back against the arm of the couch. 

"Don't worry, Moony," Sirius said, rubbing his shoulders.

"It's awfully hard not to, isn't it, though?" Remus questioned, "I mean, it's right frustrating."

"What frustrates me most is that Dumbledore's got access to all this wolfsbane and isn't helping you," Sirius said, his eyes narrowed. "Seeing as you ought to be his priority to help, seeing as you're in his school and his care and everything..."

Lily nodded, "That rather upsets me, too. I mean, obviously at least one or two bottles are slipping through the cracks, even if the Ministry is regulating Slughorn and Snape's brewing, or else Severus wouldn't have had that vial for Greyback. Dumbledore could easily obtain one himself for you..."

Remus shrugged, hopelessly.

"And," James said pragmatically, "He doesn't know that we're all animagi and making his furry little problem a bit less horrible, does he? For all he knows, it's absolute torture for you every month. I mean, of course, it isn't a party or anything, but --"

"It could be worse," Remus supplied. "I know. But like you said, Dumbledore doesn't know that."

"Arsehole," muttered Sirius.

"I think it's time we floo up Professor Veigler and see what he has to say on the subject," Lily said.

And so they started forming their plans for when and how they would go about getting some time alone with one of the professors' floo network connections in order for Remus to go and have a chat with Ned Veigler.



It was late in the evening when Minerva McGonagall was sitting in her office, sipping a cup of tea and working on grading third year parchments. Her glasses were low on her nose and the flickering of her torch light made the paper glow orange as she struggled to make out the messy handwriting of one of the students as they rambled on and on about some subject only slightly connected to Transfiguration in an attempt to fill a bit of the two foot of parchment due... Suddenly there was a sound in the hallway, deep and booming, and she looked up from the parchment, her eyes flicking over the rim of the frames.

The distinct thumping of a bassline - music, rock music - was growing louder, stronger, vibrating the floor so that her tea cup clattered against the saucer and the tea rippled. She looked down at it, and sighed heavily, letting the nonsensical paper roll itself up as she stood, lifting her wand from the brass stand she kept it on while it was not in use, and pulling her thick tartan shawl close, her braid falling over her shoulder as she clutched it with one hand and started for the hallway.

The moment the door opened, the music became decibels louder and she muttered under her breath, "Sirius Black... why do I just know already..." and stared down the corridor, her mouth twisted in disapproval as she moved hurriedly toward the stairwell. 

Sure enough, Sirius Black stood on the stairwell, the torches flickering in dramatically colored flames, a flashing light like a strobelight from Merlin-knows-where... Sirius wore his boots, a pair of muggle jeans and a tight white tank top, his leather jacket flung over the stair banister, clutching his wand as though it were a microphone....

"I see a little silhoutette-oh of a man - Scaramouche, Scaramouch, will you do the Fandango? THUNDERBOLTS AND LIGHTENING, very, very frightening!" he was singing dramatically - music magically booming through the corridor, so loudly that the portraits were trembling against the wall, their occupants covering their ears and holding onto the gilded frames with terrified looks. A painted baby was shrieking, crying loudly, his mother glaring in disapproval as Sirius Black. "GALILEO!... GALILEO!!! GALILEO!!! Figaroooo... Magnificoooooooo!"

"SIRIUS BLACK!" McGonagall shouted, trying to be head over the racket, but Sirius was impossible to distract.

"I'm just a poor boy from a poor family! Nobody loveeees meeeeee! HE'S JUST A POOR BOYYY FROM A POOR FAMILYYYYYYY SPARE HIM HIS LIFE FROM THIS MONSTROSITYYYYYYYY!!!!!!"

"MISTER BLACK!" McGonagall waved her wand, "Finite Incantantum!

The lights stopped flickering, but the music - somehow the music did not... and the next thing she knew, Sirius Black was air-guitaring furiously as he flung himself down the stairs on his knees, tumbling down to her feet, leaning back with the most dramatic look upon his face that any had ever seen. 

"Anyyyyy wayyyyy the wind bloooooooows," he sang softly as the music faded out, staring up at her, arms flung theatrically wide. When the final note had faded away, he flicked his wand and there came a scratch of a record, and he grinned up at her, his forehead a bit sweaty, puffing as he was slightly winded, and flung back his head to get a couple errant strands out of his face. "Hullo, Minnie."

"What in the name of Merlin are you doing?" McGonagall demanded.

Sirius replied, "Just... Enjoying a bit of Freddy Mercury, Minnie darling. Have you heard of him? He's absolutely bloody brilliant as fuck."

"Get up," McGonagall demanded.

Sirius popped up to his feet quickly, tucking his wand into the knot at the back of his head. He grabbed his leather jacket and withdrew a folded photograph. "I was thinking of growing a mustache like his. What do you think? Do you reckon I could pull it off?"

"I think it is absolutely ridiculous," she said grabbing onto his arm, "Come along."

"I mean, bloody Prongsy's got the teeth for it, of course," Sirius was saying as McGonagall dragged him down the hall. "All crooked and such, I mean, like Freddy's... But I've got the camp factor. I doubt anyone in the earth is as gay as I am except perhaps Freddy fucking Mercury."

McGonagall had reached her office door way, Sirius in tow (hadn't she closed it behind her when she'd left? perhaps not, in such a rush to catch Sirius Black in the act she must have forgotten), "In," she commanded.

Sirius bowed, "After you, Minnie, my love."

She glowered at him, then stepped inside as he bowed and waved her onward. As her back disappeared within, he glanced down the hallway, where James had lowered the invisibility cloak to give Sirius a thumbs-up... signaling that Moony had made it through the floo. Sirius grinned, then turned to enter the office. "Would you like to hear another song? The band is called Queen," he said, throwing himself into the chair opposite her desk so that his legs flailed over the arm of it, "There's one, it's only just come out this very week, Minnie, but I'm divinely obsessed with it - it goes --" and he quickly dropped his foot to the floor of the office, stamping twice, then clapping, "Buddy, you're a boy, make a big noise, playing in the street, gonna be a big man someday - you got mud on your face, you're a big disgrace, kickin' your can all over the place, singin' ---"

"SPEAKING of disgraces..." McGonagall interjected, and the door slammed shut, cutting off what Lily and James could hear of the conversation that followed.

James covered his mouth, his shoulders shaking with laughter, as Lily snorted loudly, pressing her face into James's shoulder, tears in her eyes, "Bloody hell," he wheezed, "Sirius Black does not go halfway when he makes a diversion, that's for sure!"

Lily could scarcely breathe. "I would say not."

"I didn't know he could hit a note that high - Galileo, Galileo..." James was in tears now, too, and Lily snorted a couple more times as she dissolved against him, and the rushed away to join Peter, who was working at levitating Sirius's record player back up to the Marauder's dormitory, before heading downstairs to begin the distraction for Remus's return floo...



Ned Veigler sat at the long table in the library at Fallengunder, pouring over a very oversized book, when there came a scraping and popping from his fireplace. He looked up just in time to see Remus Lupin come falling through, sending soot and cinders flying about in a swirling glow of bright green flame. Remus spun about on his bottom like a top, skidding several feet across the floor, clutching his knees as though he'd cannon-balled through the network, eyes squeezed tightly shut.

Ned stood up, hurrying over, grasping Remus's elbow to help him to his feet, and dusting him off. "Remus! What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at Hogwarts! Is everything alright, brother?" Ned's wooly beard seemed even thicker than ever, his eyebrows knit tightly together as he patted the soot from Remus's school uniform.

Remus coughed on the soot that had somehow got in his mouth - something that always seemed to happen to him, no matter how tightly he clamped his jaw. "I am supposed to be at Hogwarts," Remus said, "But I had to talk to you, it's urgent."

"You could've owled me, I could've come to you, you didn't have to floo all the way here -- how did you even --"

"Sirius distracted McGonagall, and we - we sort of hijacked her office," Remus explained, his cheeks flushing with the admission of wrongdoing, and before Veigler could insert a scolding, Remus plowed forward, "It's about all the Wolfsbane Potion that Dumbledore is brewing, a stolen vial."

Ned Veigler's brows sprung up his forehead in surprise. "How did you know that Dumbledore --"

"He's got Slughorn brewing it," Remus went on, not letting Ned finish his question, "And Severus Snape's helping to make it, and he stole a vial and gave it to Fenrir Greyback."

Ned Veigler's wide eyes now darkened in concern. "Greyback!"

"Yes," Remus said, panicked. "We have to - to stop him, to stop Snape from giving him anymore, and - and find a way to stop Greyback from taking it... Wormtail's stones - they said there's death coming - and horrible things, to good werewolves. Like us."

Ned put a hand on Remus's shoulder, "Take a deep breath, Remus. Calm down. It's alright."

"But don't you understand? Greyback. With his own mind. Under the moonlight."

Ned nodded, "That's ... very concerning, indeed, yes. But Dumbledore isn't going to let him anywhere near you, and Greyback's got no idea that this place even exists. We're all safe here."

"All?" Remus asked, then, "So it's true, you are helping with the testing, helping Dumbledore and - and the Ministry?"

Ned Veigler said, "Well, only very recently."

Remus stared up at Ned, eyes pleading, "Why wasn't I given any of the Wolfsbane?"

Ned said, "As I said, it's an extremely new venture!" He glanced at the door, then shot a quick spell, locking it and sealing the sound within the room they were in. He looked back to Remus. "There are a great many werewolves here - possibly over a hundred - they were collected and jailed by the ministry, essentially, in the name of testing the Wolfsbane Potion. We've rescued them and brought them here, given them rooms throughout the castle. Dumbledore is trying desperately to have Horace Slughorn, your potions master, produce enough of the Wolfsbane to allow for all of the werewolves here to have a small vial for the next full moon so that none of us are injured or in need of being locked up." He stared into Remus's eyes, "But the potion is very complicated and it's very easy to muss it up and Slughorn's had to enlist the help of a student --"

"Severus Snape," Remus supplied.

"-- to help with brewing it all. And he still might not succeed in getting it all done before the full moon." Veigler's eyes were full of concern. Then, lowering his voice, despite the sealing charm, "You've a solution to keep you safe already," he said meaningfully, "That's the only reason we haven't extended the potion to you. It's extremely dangerous situation we have here at Fallengunder if the werewolves aren't properly treated with the potion. And... there are certain... contracts... that Dumbledore has to fulfill as well as trying to provide for all of the wolves here at the castle."

"Contracts?" repeated Remus.

Veigler nodded. "And honestly, we're not even certain that the potion will work."

Remus's eyes looked worried. "But what if --"

"When it works, I'll see to it that you get provided for," Ned promised. "Now, you've got to get back to school. Right away. You can't be flooing off from Hogwarts whenever you get the whim."

"But what about Greyback?" Remus pressed.

"I'll talk to Dumbledore myself," Ned promised, "And Mr. Scamander. We'll figure out what to do about Greyback. But don't you be worrying about Greyback, Remus. I promise you that whatever happens you are safe as long as you stay at Hogwarts and under Dumbledore's protection."

Remus started to argue - was going to cite the fact that he had infact been kidnapped from the very grounds of Hogwarts once by Greyback and Druella Black, but Ned was firmly guiding him toward the fireplace once more, reaching for the little pot of green floo powder.

"You have to get back before anyone else sees you here," Ned explained, "Before your... condition... is revealed. You're very lucky that you came when I was alone. They'll never let you stay in school if they find out."

Remus knew he was right. He took the powder from the offered dish and clutched it in his fist, looking at Ned Veigler with desperate eyes. "What does this mean for the school?" he asked.

Ned shrugged, "I suppose it's postponed as I run a bit of a Werewolf Inn." He smiled a lopsided, sort of sad smile. "A refuge."

Remus blurted the words before he could stop himself. "I want to work for you one day, Professor. I want to be a teacher at your school. It has to happen, it's just - it's got to. There has to be something hopeful in the lives of outcasts like us. Not everyone is lucky enough to have Dumbledore rescue them. Surely there are little boys and girls out there who - who're hidden away, and -- they need you. They need this." He waved his hands at the filling library walls. "They need Fallengunder. I need Fallengunder."

Ned patted Remus's shoulder. "I should love nothing more than to welcome you to the staff of Fallengunder, Remus, the moment I open it's doors. You'll be the first I'll hire."

"Promise?" Remus begged.

Ned nodded, and he pulled Remus into a hug, patting his back warmly. "Blimey, as though I'd want anyone else on my staff more than I'd want you! I'd be nutter if I didn't want you on as a teacher. Anyone would."

"Thank you Professor," Remus murmured into Ned's shoulder, his eyes tearing up at the kind words.

Ned drew back after several long moments, and he patted Remus's shoulders, and said, "Now, you go back to that school and get top marks and get into that teaching program and give me the CV to earn the spot with more than just your good looks." He touched Remus's chin with his thumb in an encouraging manner and Remus laughed, his tears running the length of his scar diagonally as he grimaced.

"Thank you, Professor," he repeated.

Ned Veigler nodded, "Of course, brother."



Back at Hogwarts, James and Lily were hurriedly ushering Professor Flitwick, who was stumbling over his long pyjama's cuffs, groggy from an early slumber, showing him exactly where it was that someone had charmed the stairs in the entrance hall to make loud farting sounds whenever anyone stepped on them. "You'll want this fixed right away," Lily was saying, urging the little Professor along.

"Yeah," James said, nodding eagerly, "It needs to be resolved before everyone in Hogwarts is composing flatulent symphonies in the morning!"

"Didn't you try a finite incantantum?" Flitwick asked, yawning.

"Oh - um," Lily stammered, unsure what to say. She glanced at James.

James glanced back to see Peter give the thumbs-up that Remus had returned. "Well bloody hell, why didn't we think of that?" he asked Lily, slapping his forehead with his palm. "So sorry to bother you, Professor!"

Filius Flitwick grumbled as he wrenched his arm free from Lily's grasp and turned back, thumping his way back toward his office, quite perturbed, "Really! Sometimes I'm not sure if any of them listen to a thing we teach around here," he muttered, fixing his sleeping cap, which had started to lean a bit to the side, before disappearing into his office.

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