All the Difference in the World
Silence had fallen over the Shrieking Shack that was so complete the boys could hear the creaking of the wood beams high above, and the trees moving in the crisp autumn breeze outside. James, Sirius, and Remus all three stared at Peter, waiting for him to speak, and Peter, pale as a ghost, stared at the watch on his wrist, exposed, and too late to be hidden from view.
"Peter?" James prompted. "Isn't that my watch? My Mickey watch? The one my parents gave me for my birthday, that I've been searching for?"
"I - I -" Peter stammered.
James's eyebrows went up, expectantly.
"I - "
Sirius was leaning forward now, and Remus had a curious look on his face.
"Yes, it - it is, yes," Peter said, nodding, "I - I found it. I found it this morning. While you lot were asleep, I couldn't sleep, and I'd got up and I found it - upstairs. You - you must've lost it."
James made a face and Sirius's fingers moved to his wand suspiciously. He glared at Peter sidelong. "That's impossible," James said slowly, "I lost it before we came back to Hogwarts."
"And besides that," Remus said, "I saw you with it last month during the full moon." He looked at James, "I meant to ask him about it and in all the goings-on I guess that I forgot."
James looked back at Peter again. "You've had it for at least a month, Wormtail? Why didn't you tell me? I've been going nutter looking for it. That watch is really important to me... my mum and dad gave it to me."
Peter was trembling.
"Give it here," James requested, his hand out.
Peter closed his eyes, "I - I -"
"Give James his watch, Peter," Sirius commanded sternly, glowering at Peter.
"I can't," Peter stammered, "I - I can't."
"Why not?" James demanded.
Remus was staring at Peter, watching his body language carefully. Peter started rubbing his wrist, panicking, sweat breaking out on his brow and his eyes bulging as he cast his eyes about, searching for words to speak.
"I - I can't," Peter cried, and tears began to well up in his eyes.
Sirius drew his wand and aimed it at Peter, standing up.
"Sit down, you arsehole," James said to Sirius, rolling his eyes, "You don't need to bloody threaten him --"
Peter was sobbing now, his pale face gone red.
"Pete, what's the matter?" James asked, turning back to his friend, "Why didn't you tell me about the watch?"
"I can't," Peter choked around a sob.
Remus asked, "You physically can't?"
Peter looked at Remus, and he nodded vigorously.
Remus glanced at the other boys. Sirius still had his wand drawn on Peter, but James met Remus's eyes. Remus turned back to Peter. "Did someone tell you not to? Are you under some sort of silencing charm?"
Peter nodded again.
"Who put the charm on you, Pete?" James asked.
Tears poured down Peter's face, "I - I can't --"
"Is it Voldemort?" Sirius asked.
Peter covered his eyes, sobbing.
Remus looked up at Sirius, then to James.
"Bloody hell," James whispered. He stood up, running his hands through his hair nervously, pacing. He turned back 'round. "What's my watch got to do with whatever's going on here though?" he asked.
"He - he - I - he said -- told me to --" Peter stammered, trying so hard to tell them, but afraid to say too much, afraid that the Dark Lord himself would appear to punish him on the spot if he said the wrong words. He didn't know what the limits of the vow were, didn't know if nodding and hinting counted as telling anyone what was happening...
"He told you to take my watch?" James asked, confused. "Why?"
Peter shivered and shook.
Sirius said, "We could go to the Potions store room and get the ingredients and brew veritiserum."
"We couldn't, that's why too advanced," Remus said, rolling his eyes. He looked at Peter for a long moment, then, "What happens if you tell us everything, Peter?"
"I die," Peter trembled.
"Blimey," James muttered.
Sirius studied Peter for a long moment, "How do we know he isn't lying?" he asked. "Just a moment ago he was ready to bloody lie about the watch and where he got it from. You knicked it off James, didn't you, you little rat?" Peter cowered away as Sirius jabbed his wand into his neck.
"Stop it!" James knocked Sirius's wand down. "Bloody stop it, can't you see he's upset?"
Sirius said, "He's working for Voldemort! By his own admission!"
"I don't have a choice!" Peter cried out, "I didn't want to - he - he made me!"
Sirius turned on Peter, "HOW DO WE KNOW THAT?"
"BECAUSE THE WATCH IS MY LIFE TIME!" Peter cried.
They stood in silence again for several long moments until James finally asked, "What now?"
"Mopsus," Peter said.
"Fuck not again," Sirius groaned and he sat down heavily on the hardwood floor. "That fucking bastard's as hard to kill off as the bleeding locket!"
Remus was squinting at the watch, then he looked up at Peter. "Like my dad's clock," he said. "Precious seconds. That watch is - it's your time?"
Peter nodded. "It stops, I stop," he explained.
"How is that proof?" Sirius demanded.
Peter held up his wrist, "He's got the real one, this one's a replica, it reflects what that one's doing. If I mess up - if I don't do what he's asked me to - I - he'll - he'll stop it."
James asked, "And... what's he asked you to do, Peter?"
Pete whimpered. "I - I can't -"
"It's alright, Pete," Remus said, and he touched Peter's shoulder.
Peter started crying again, his eyes only having just dried from the last bout. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I've been trying to figure out how to tell you lot, but I really c - c - can't and..."
"Is this why you didn't want to come camping this summer?" James asked, "And why you were acting so funny at the hospital and during disapparation classes?"
Peter nodded, sobbing.
"Bloody hell," Sirius muttered, "You've been working for him that long?" His eyes were full of distrust.
"Sirius," James said warningly.
"I'm just saying," Sirius said. Then, "Have you been working with Regulus then?"
"Sirius!" James snapped.
"Sorry!" Sirius answered, matching James's tone.
Remus said, "Let's focus on the fact that we need to figure out what else Peter's been commanded to do --"
Sirius raised his wand again, pressing it to Peter's throat, "With pleasure, I'm sure there's a spell to draw it right out of him..."
"Expelliarmus!" James said, and Sirius's wand clattered to the floor. "Without threatening him."
Sirius scowled and bent to pick up his wand, "WHY ARE YOU DEFENDING HIM? HE'S WORKING FOR VOLDEMORT!"
"CLEARLY NOT ON PURPOSE," James shouted.
"WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?" Sirius bellowed.
"ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD!" James replied.
Peter covered his ears as they yelled, rocking himself, so worked up that he was sweating, the beads on his forehead nearly as big as the tears rolling down his face. "Stop fighting, please stop fighting," he begged, "I don't want you lot to fight. Please stop."
Remus drew a deep breath, and turned to Peter, stopping his rocking and grabbing his hands from his ears. "Look at me," he commanded as Sirius and James continued shouting over their heads. Remus's eyes locked with Peter's. "Did this just start over summer?"
"Fourth year," Peter whispered, shaking. "At the Lestrange house."
Remus nodded slowly. "What sort of spell was it?"
Peter shivered, "I - I can't -"
"Do you reckon you can say yes or no without being hurt? If I was to guess?" Remus requestioned.
Peter shrugged.
"There's got to be some way to tell..." Remus murmured.
Suddenly, struck by inspiration, Peter stuck out his arm. Remus hesitated, then reached out and took Peter's hand. He half expected to find the Dark Mark beneath the wool of his jumper, but instead when he rolled back the sleeve, he found the rope-like scars that wrapped themselves around Peter's wrist and up his forearm. Remus stared at them for several long moments, then looked up at Peter.
"The Unbreakable Vow," he said.
Peter steeled himself to keep from nodding.
"But you have to be willing to cast an unbreakable vow, that's the whole point of it. It's a commitment. You can't be forced to make an unbreakable vow."
Peter hung his head.
"I s'pose you could be tricked into it. Or forced to want to." Remus mused. He rubbed his chin.
"BECAUSE IF HE WANTED TO WORK FOR THE DARK LORD THEN HE WOULD BE EVIL, BUT HE DIDN'T CHOOSE THIS, HE DIDN'T CHOOSE IT ANYMORE THAN YOU CHOSE TO BE A BLACK!" James was screaming, "YOU DIDN'T CHOOSE TO COME FROM THE MOST VILE FAMILY THERE EVER WAS, DID YOU?"
Sirius was spitting anger and he screamed back, "I'D DIE BEFORE I WORKED FOR VOLDEMORT AND YOU KNOW IT! YOU KNOW I'D DIE BEFORE I BETRAYED YOU LIKE THIS! YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT TRAITORS, JAMES? THEY SAY THEY BETRAY YOU ONCE AND THEY'LL DO IT AGAIN!"
"I didn't be - betray -" Peter stammered, eyes wide.
"You stole his watch," Sirius snapped, "You stole from him and you lied about it."
"HE. DIDN'T. HAVE. A. CHOICE." James bellowed.
"OF COURSE HE HAD A CHOICE!" Sirius yelled back, "THERE'S ALWAYS A CHOICE!"
Remus cleared his throat, "There may really not have been." And he held Peter's arm up for them to see. "He's under the Unbreakable Vow."
Sirius stared at the markings on Peter's arm.
"See?" James mumbled. "No choice."
Peter drew his arm back and stared down at it.
Sirius muttered something they couldn't understand.
"I still don't understand how all this works together. Why did Voldemort have you steal my watch? And why is my watch your clock-life-thingy?" James asked. "What'd he want with my watch?"
Peter trembled.
"Bloody hell," James whispered, rubbing the bridge of his nose in frustration.
Remus squeezed Peter's shoulder. "Don't worry mate, we'll figure out how to get everything fixed, alright?"
"I just want to know what Voldemort is thinking? Of all of us to coerce into doing his work, why would he choose Peter?" Sirius demanded. "I mean... he isn't exactly the obvious choice."
Peter flushed.
"The least expected," James said, shrugging.
Peter looked up at James, hurt, and back down to his lap.
"We need to figure out another way to communicate what Voldemort wants and to get the whole story out of Peter so we can figure out a way to fix it," Remus pointed out.
"Write it down?" James suggested.
Peter shook his head, "I can't."
"Act it out like charades," Sirius said. "You can be like that muggle telly show with the dog that gets help when people fall in wells and barns are on fire and the like."
James rolled his eyes at this, but Remus said, "Actually, that isn't a horrible idea."
"I was joking..." Sirius muttered.
Remus shook his head, "No but it's brilliant. It isn't technically telling us a thing. It's all conjecture." Remus looked to Peter, "Act it out."
Peter turned red, but he obediently stood up and they all watched carefully as Peter pointed to the watch.
"Watch," James said.
Peter mimed walking with a cane, his eyes covered.
"Mopsus," James supplied.
Peter put a hand over his forehead, as though looking a great distance...
"Searching," Remus guessed. Then, "He's searching for Mopsus?"
Peter tapped the watch again.
"Searching for Mopsus's clock," James said.
Peter nodded.
"And he thought my watch was Mopsus's clock?" James asked.
Peter nodded again.
"But -- why?" James looked confused. "Why would my watch be Mopsus's clock?"
"Dunno," Remus murmured. "Alright, so that's why you stole it. But what's he want now?"
Peter pointed at James.
"Me?" James asked.
Peter nodded.
"Greaaaaat."
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