"Lovely day inn'it?" Sirius asked a wrinkled bloke and his equally wrinkled wife as they walked by in galoshes and rain jackets, sort of staring at him incredulously. It was to be admitted that he looked rather a fright, his hair all windblown from the travel over the far North Atlantic, face right pink from the chaffing of the wind, smoking.

He was standing outside of a Muggle guesthouse in Vik, on the south coast of Iceland. Remus was inside, checking them in under the name of Charles Potter, using magical documents that showed the muggles whatever it is they needed to see to corroborate Remus's story. Remus had pulled these magical documents from his briefcase as casually as if he'd been on the run from the law all of his life and it made Sirius wonder why he had them and how long Remus had quietly been prepared for something like this to happen. When Remus had gone inside, Sirius had hung back, smoking outside and hovering in the courtyard while Remus went inside, keeping an eye on Buckbeak, who they'd secured behind a rather large shed.

It was there, in the yard of that small guest house in Vik, that Hedwig had flown up and landed on Sirius Black's head rather unceremoniously.

The wrinkled couple looked wide-eyed as Sirius laughed uneasily and reached up to pluck the owl from his hair as the pair rushed away, alarmed by how friendly the wild life was and not wanting to be next to be perched upon by a rogue owl. 

Sirius plucked the letter from Hedwig's leg, untying it and stroking the owl about the neck, letting her nip affectionately on his hands as she nestled onto his shoulder comfortably, taking a rest. 

Remus came out of the door as Sirius was unraveling the parchment Harry had sent.

"How the bloody hell did you get an owl? Here?" Remus looked about, incredulous.

"It's Hedwig," Sirius answered, as though this were the only answer that Remus needed.

Remus said, "You know this owl?"

"You know her too, Moony," Sirius said, "She's Harry's owl."

Remus blinked at the snowy white bird, who clicked her beak at him. "Oh," he said, surprised. "I - I suppose I should know that, but I didn't." He paused, feeling suddenly rather awkward. "Harry hasn't written to me before. I lived at the castle, so he had no need to while I was there... and he hasn't sent one to me since I left." 

Sirius nodded.

"Has he sent you lots of owls already, then? Since we left?" Remus asked, timidly.

Sirius shook his head, putting out his cigarette. "No, this is the first." He paused, seeing the worried expression on Remus's face. "We have a room then?"

"Oh, yes. Yes we do. One of the cottages 'round the back so we can get Buckbeak in, hopefully."

"Excellent. Buckbeak could use a rest before we go on."

"I reckon we could all use a break," Remus answered, feeling suddenly like he could sleep for days. Had it really only been yesterday he'd first seen Sirius's ad in the paper? Had it been less than twelve hours since he and Sirius had first locked eyes in the park across from the old flat in East London? Really only a few hours since he'd lay in bed, holding Sirius's trembling body in his own, reconnecting for the first time in thirteen years? Remus felt like the day had been years long...

Both of them had fallen silent, then, and they'd gone to fetch Buckbeak from the roof, each thinking of the implications of them - Sirius and Remus and all their baggage and history - soon being in Costa Rica again. 

Never finding out who it was that had burst in the door at the Lupin house, they'd moved quickly to be sure they weren't followed, urging Buckbeak to fly top speed as they made the get away out of Haworth.

"Once we're out of Britain we should be alright to stop," Sirius had said, when they'd paused to regain themselves in a forrest clearing somewhere in Scotland before setting off on their trans-Atlantic escape route. "I don't reckon they spread my photo about outside of the UK, or even considered I'd leave the country altogether... They've been looking in Liverpool for me."

"Liverpool?" Remus had asked, "Why Liverpool."

"Oh I sneezed there," Sirius answered without any further context or explanation, and changed the subject. "Costa Rica, that's where we should go. We may even be able to find family there... I reckon there are still Potters in Costa Rica - James had a cousin there."

"I know, we stayed with him after our wedding, if I recall," Remus said.

"Yes," Sirius nodded. "And when we went for our anniversary."

They had flown from York directly northwest, crossing over the Scottish mainland and over the sea as they flew past the northern Hebrides and the Faroe Islands, over the place where the Atlantic meets the Norwegian Sea, landing only when they'd gotten to the black-sand shores of Vik, a direct route they'd taken many times by Motorbike back in the day going to visit Fallengunder, which was further inland, in the mountainous north coast regions of Iceland. They'd stayed in Vik, planning to travel due west the next day, crossing over Greenland and Canada before going southwest over America and beyond - all the way to Costa Rica.

Once they'd very carefully maneuvered Buckbeak through the door into the little cottage they'd spent the last of Remus Lupin's meager funders on renting for the night, they returned to the main house to eat dinner. It wasn't much, but it was food and it came with the room, so they sat eating bowls of stew. Sirius had a beer and Remus stirred his tea carefully, and that was when Sirius handed Remus his letter from Harry and Remus read through, pausing midway.

"It sounds as though he's allergic to grapefruit and he ought not to be eating it," Remus said, pausing. "Make sure you tell him not to eat it anymore, he could be really sick if he does..." His eyes continued down the letter. "What story reminded you of James?"

Sirius told Remus about the sneezing incident in Liverpool and Remus laughed. "Poor James."

"I know," Sirius chuckled, "He really ought to have fixed those damned stairs." He paused, his eyes going a bit unfocused as he stared ahead. He frowned and shook his head, then, "He was lucky it happened in antler shedding season." Sirius sipped his beer and leaned back, looking out the window over the sea.

Remus nodded and sipped his tea, continuing to read over Harry's letter. He got to the part when Harry was speaking about him, Remus, and he lowered his cup.

Speaking of Professor Lupin, did you hear that he resigned? I'm really upset. He was a very good teacher and I feel as though I learned a great deal about Defensive Magical Theory this past year. I wish he would have stayed. You might already know. I don't know if you lot are in touch or not.

Remus bit his lip.

Sirius looked over.

When Remus read, he had a tendency of dragging one finger along to keep his place and it was by this that Sirius could tell exactly where Remus was in the letter. He chuckled and nodded, "We certainly are in touch, aren't we?" Sirius grinned.

"You could say that," Remus said, and he forced a laugh, his mind half preoccupied by Harry's words.

"I'm want to touch you all over, and over and again... til the night closes in... til the night closes in..." Sirius sang,  modifying the Exile song lyrics slightly, in falsetto, and quiet enough to not attract attention from anyone else in the tiny dining room. Not that there was a crowd - it was mainly just them and the wrinkled couple, out of their rain gear and huddled across the room by the fire.

Remus didn't tell Sirius to stop, he just re-read the paragraph about himself.

"Moony?" Sirius asked, seeing a look of concern in Remus's face.

Remus said, "I'm still Professor Lupin."

"He thinks you're a good teacher," Sirius nodded, "I'm really proud of you and how well you did. You know, I was hanging about the castle all year and I heard a lot of the kids saying what a bloody rockstar of a teacher you were. They were all really impressed and I'll reckon you were the best one that school's ever had, Moony. You really did it, you achieved the dream you always had and I didn't get a chance to tell you just how incredibly proud I --"

"You're at least Sirius, but I'm just Professor Lupin."

Sirius stopped talking and stared at Remus. "Sorry. What? Isn't that what you wanted? To be Professor R. J. Lupin?"

"Yes, to everyone else. But not to Harry."

"You didn't think Harry would go to Hogwarts?" Sirius asked confused.

"No - Sirius - " Remus looked up, "I wanted to be Uncle Moony. Just like you wanted to be Uncle Padfoot. Just like we were supposed to be godfathers, just like James and Lily were supposed to bloody be here and we shouldn't be sitting here in bleeding Vik, running from the past. We should be 'round a dinner table in Godric's Hollow with them and --" He shook his head. "Or at the very least in Haworth, without being run out by aurors, with Harry at least." He pushed the letter back across to Sirius. "At the very least, I ought not to be just Professor Lupin. I could be at least Remus, the way you're at least Sirius... I even told him he could call me Remus and - well, he didn't do it."

Sirius frowned. "I'm sorry, Moony."

Remus shook his head and took a great gulp of tea to distract himself. It was shit tea, and he promised himself he'd make a better cup when they got back to their little cottage, but it was hot and the cup gave him something tangible to concentrate on that wasn't that letter, that wasn't Harry's handwriting spelling out Professor Lupin.

What if he, Remus, were never anything more than Professor Lupin, the werewolf to Harry?

His eyes filled with tears and he stayed concentrating on the tea very hard. 

It would be his own fault if he was.

He'd waited too long.

He'd chucked away his chances to be more.

And worse, if the letter was accurate then Harry was miserable at the Dursleys. Miserable and mistreated and he, Remus, had done nothing and he reckoned that it was very, very possible that, even if he didn't fully realize it, that Harry might just resent Remus for having been absent all those years. Maybe Harry couldn't get over the title of Professor Lupin because anything more than him being the Professor that showed up in his Third Year at Hogwarts was just too painful because it meant that all that time there had been an Uncle Moony that never came.

No iron bars or dementors or seas to block Remus from coming.

Only cowardice.

Remus pushed the bowl of stew away and drained the teacup. "I'm going back to the room. You finish and catch me up when you're done." He slid out of the chair and out the door before Sirius could answer. Jamming his fists into his pockets, Remus stepped outside under the star-strung sky and looked up at them hanging over the ocean water, cold despite it being the warmer months. He walked the long way 'round the guest house toward the path that went up to the cottages, his heart broken and frustrated with himself.

Won't I ever learn? Remus asked himself.

The things that hold me back always come back to haunt me in the end.