It's Going to Be Okay
"Where's my Moony?"
James looked at Lily.
They were not even five steps through the floo into the flat in East London, Sirius still in his stocking feet and Ministry prison garb, his leather jacket and boots in the plastic bag with his wand, and even the rubber band that had been holding his hair in a bun when he'd been arrested. The bottom of the bag was a ridiculous assortment of random things that Sirius kept in his pocket - everything ranging from the shrunken motorbike (which luckily the Ministry official that had packed his things up had thought was a toy or there would've been hell to pay for a modified muggle vehicle violation) to the old Wild Thing cassette that Remus had given him way back in Fourth Year. Loads of Polaroids and bits of parchment, a toothbrush, several coins, the ticket stub from the Queen concert, Regulus's watch, his own pocket watch, and his wedding band and a couple postcards from Costa Rica also hung out at the bottom of the bag. The pack of cigarettes Underhill had given him had long been smoked and his lighter was tucked in the chest pocket of the shirt he was wearing.
He looked around, smelling the air.
"He's not here?" Sirius turned around.
Lily took a deep breath. "He's with Newt Scamander."
Sirius's eyes went sad. "He is?"
"Well the chaser from the Ministry was outside until this morning," James said pragmatically. "We thought it safest if he wasn't around where they might come to call for him until we got it all figured out. But Mr. Underhill's taken care of it, he said."
Sirius's face got very solemn at the mention of Underhill. He looked at James, recognizing suddenly that he was wearing the Ministry issued Auror's uniform for the first time in months and months. Guilt welled up inside him and he looked down at the floor.
Lily looked at James, then back to Sirius, "Oh honey..." she went over and hugged him.
"Don't, don't," he pleaded, pulling away. Lily looked hurt. "I don't deserve to be hugged right now," Sirius said. "I've ruined everything, haven't I? Me and my fucking big mouth."
"You were only trying to defend your husband," Lily said. "I would've done the same thing for this one..." she waved a palm at James.
"And I'd work a thousand years at the Ministry if it meant getting you out of that cell, mate," James added, "You don't belong behind bars, bloody hell. Do you need to watch your damn mouth sometimes and try to check yourself? Yeah, of course you do, you're Sirius Black. If you didn't do something stupid at least once a day, we'd know you were an imposter, wouldn't we?"
Sirius laughed through his remorse. "Well thanks I guess."
"And Remus should be back later today anyway, now the full moon's passed," Lily added quickly. "So there won't be any trouble..."
"Well I still have to explain what I've done to him, don't I?" Sirius asked. He paused. "Was he... really mad at me?" He shook his head, "What am I asking? Of course he was mad at me. He nearly got picked up by the Ministry, nearly had to Register, because of me. Bloody hell."
James sighed, "You know what, though? It's taken care of and I don't think anybody ought to be mad at anybody for all this... Especially not once it's all explained."
"I reckon he's really worried about you, too," Lily added. "I've been feeling him all day today. He's been very nervous ever since this morning."
Sirius nodded. He dropped his bags on the table and sat down, opening the bag up and concentrating on the process of checking over all his things and putting them back into his leather jacket's pocket carefully. He put his wedding band back on his finger and held a Polaroid he'd taken of him and Remus laying in bed, their heads together side-by-side on the pillow, Remus laughing, his eyes crunched up, and Sirius grinning up at the camera. Sirius stared at the picture for a long time.
Lily looked at James imploringly.
James raised an eyebrow.
Lily nodded persistently at Sirius.
James shrugged, palms up.
Lily's eyes widened, then narrowed.
James walked over to the couch and sat down next to Sirius. "Are you hungry?"
Sirius looked up. "Merlin's left buttock, am I ever."
"I'll run downstairs and get us some Tikka."
"And laddu?"
"And laddu."
"Alright."
"Alright," James said, getting up and heading for the door. "I'll be right back."
When he'd gone, Lily sat next to Sirius and leaned against his shoulder, closing her eyes, just feeling him and soaking up some of his emotions from him, trying to take some of the world off his shoulders. He resisted for a few moments, then leaned back into her and closed his eyes. "It's not fair you can do that to me and I can't do it back."
"Incorporate me, then."
"Yeah?" he asked, looking at her. "You'd let me?"
"Of course," she laughed. "Sirius, I love you and I'd be honored if you did."
He smiled "You know, I'm married to Remus but I think you're my favorite human. I can say that because he's a wolf and James is a stag."
Lily laughed and kissed his cheek. "I missed you so much the last two days."
"I missed you more."
"I know."
"James said you were a right mess last night."
"You were so claustrophobic."
"Yeah."
"I'm sorry you had to be trapped in there like that. My heart was breaking for you. I wanted to get a spoon and dig you out of there."
"A spoon?"
"Yeah."
"What the hell?"
"There were these gents in the 60s, they escaped from a very secure muggle prison in America that it was said nobody could ever escape from. They did it using spoons."
"Bullshit."
"Bulltrue!" Lily said. "They're making a film about it. Comes out in the cinema this summer. It has Clint Eastwood."
"What? Dirty Harry?"
"Yes Dirty Harry," Lily laughed.
"Sexy."
"Prison hasn't changed you."
"I'm a hardened criminal Lilith."
"That sounds like something you should tell Remus about later."
Sirius's mouth twitched into a grin, "It does, doesn't it?"
"Most definitely none of my business, that's for sure."
"Yeah and it's not Tuesday nor a Bank Holiday so Prongs doesn't need that information."
"Nor is it the Swan Upping."
Sirius's eyes twinkled. "I fucking love you Lilith, and I swear if I wasn't flaming gay I'd duel James for your hand."
"You wouldn't have to, darling, I'd run away with you in an instant," she joked.
Sirius grinned, "Of course you would, because I'm the sexiest damn bastard this side of Freddie Mercury."
"Precisely. Harrison Ford who? I only know Sirius Black."
Sirius puffed up his chest and grinned at her.
Lily hugged his arm and nodded at the Polaroid he still held in his hand. "I love that picture. Look how happy you both are."
Sirius said, "Yeah. I wish everyday could be like that moment."
They were quiet a moment, both just staring at the photo.
"Hey?"
"Mm?" he asked.
Lily said, "Nobody else is going to tell you this - and - well, don't take it the wrong way, but..." she sat up and looked him in the eyes. "I'm actually very proud of you for what you did, speaking up to that wretched woman like you did. I know everything that happened because of it was sort of awful but Sirius, you stood up for what you believed in and that deserves nothing but praise."
Sirius smiled.
"You're such a rebellious bad ass. Going to jail standing up for werewolf rights! My goodness." She shook her head. "If I was Remus Lupin, I'd be maaaaadly in love with you." Sirius laughed as she poked leaned closer to him, nudging him playfully. "And even if he's upset at first, you know what? He'll come around eventually and he'll feel the same way."
"I hope so."
Wally was quiet in the back seat of the car as Archie drove them back to the house Oliver had claimed was where he lived. Despite having successfully gotten their potions and everything, Wally hadn't been as loud and enthusiastic that afternoon as he'd been during the morning. When the car came to a stop in front of the randomly selected row house, Oliver leaned forward and grabbed his bags from the floor at his feet and called a goodbye to Archie who told him to stay safe, and he slid out the car. "I'll see you," he told Wally. "Write me."
"No wait, I want to meet your family," Wally said, "Can I go in and say hullo, dad? Real fast?"
"Ten minutes tops," Archie said.
"Thanks dad," Wally said, and he slid his way out of the door and closed it.
"Wait," Oliver said, practically throwing himself in Wally's path. "They -They aren't home," Oliver said quickly.
"The lights are all on." Wally pointed.
Panicked, Oliver looked up at the house. The lights were all on. "Oh. Well they - they're probably all exhausted, you have no idea what it's like being out with that many kids - Mrs. Jennings gets really bad headaches and --"
"It's not like I'm going to go in screaming or anything," Wally argued.
"Wally --"
Wally looked Oliver in the eyes.
Oliver opened his mouth to say it - to tell Wally all of it - but at that precise moment, the front door of the row house opened and a girl who looked to be about college age came out of the door with a dog on a leash. She locked the door and bounced down the steps, and without so much as a pause, Oliver watched her jog off down the road.
Wally watched her go before he turned back, looking over at Oliver.
"Who was that? Jill the house wench and her seeing eye-dog?"
"What?" Oliver asked, confused.
"I don't know, whatever lame thing you're going to make-up to explain why a total stranger just came out of the house you're lying and saying you live in."
Oliver flushed.
"I'm not stupid. Well maybe I was earlier today when I believed it but I don't anymore. You lied to me that they were all out of the house - twice - on account of you not wanting me to meet your house brothers ---"
"Don't call them that. They aren't my brothers."
"And you lied about what happened to your stupid face," Wally added. "You told me and Dexter you fell on the stairs, but then Severus Snape said that she did it to you. I don't know how he thinks he knows, but you didn't even deny it and - and it makes more sense than the stairs! Why didn't you tell me is what I want to know? Why didn't you tell me the truth, even if you didn't tell Dexter? You've said she's a hag and you won't let me meet her and I suppose I should've known that something was going on before now but I don't understand. I don't understand why you would rather lie to me than tell me? I thought that we --" Wally pursed his lips in frustration.
Oliver pressed, "You thought that we -- what?"
"I thought we had --" Wally glanced over his shoulder at the waiting car, his dad inside, and he lost his nerve to say anything else. "You know what, never mind. You don't have to tell me anything, it doesn't matter. We're just friends after all." Wally turned back to the door of the car and wrenched it opened. "I'll see you at school," he said and he got in and slammed the door shut before Oliver could even formulate a response.
Wally didn't even look back out the window as the car pulled away from the curb.
Oliver stared after it, his eyes filling with tears.
He walked slowly to the actual house, carrying his bags which now felt like they weighed a thousand pounds each.
He didn't want to get in trouble for having the bags - he was sure to be in trouble and the last thing he needed was her being even more angry thinking he stole money from someone to make his purchases. She'd never give him a chance to explain he had vouchers from school, so he snuck 'round the back of the row and hid his bags in the crawl space under the house before sneaking up to the backdoor and peering in the window.
No one was in the kitchen, so he very carefully turned the door knob and slid inside, quietly closing it behind him. He slipped up the backstairs, carefully keeping to the left to avoid the creaks in the center of the steps, and made it all the way up the steps and into the room he shared with two other boys - which was miraculously empty. He closed the bedroom door and hurried to change his clothes, throwing on some pyjamas and crawled into the bed, pulled the blanket up over his head, and pressed his face into the pillow.
Wally's face was red. He was flushed, he was angry or something and Oliver didn't understand why.
They'd been sitting in the little room off the trophy room passageway, adding pictures of the D.W.O. to the wall where the other generations of pranksters that had come to this place had hung theirs. They'd been laughing for an hour over some of the pictures of the Marauders and some notes that Sirius Black had left behind - mostly puns and lists of ideas for pranks he never got to pull off that he hoped future generations might find inspiration from... They'd come across a polaroid of Sirius and Remus together, Sirius's arms around Remus's neck and shoulders, Remus's face turned toward Sirius, kissing one another. Oliver had paused and stared at the photo for a long time, smiling, because at the bottom Sirius had written in his messy block-print hand, "IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY".
Oliver couldn't put a finger on it, but he somehow knew the message meant for people who weren't exactly fitting into whatever mold that the world expected them to be fitting into... You don't have to fit, Sirius was saying with that photo, it's going to be okay.
Oliver showed Wally the picture. "Look, isn't this great?" he asked.
But Wally's face had flushed deep red and he'd looked away quickly. "Yeah, great," he'd muttered and gone back to putting things up on the wall again.
"Are you angry with me?" Oliver asked after a few minutes passed.
"No," Wally replied.
Oliver put the photo of Sirius and Remus back where he'd found it and he sorted lazily through the box of things he and Wally had carried to the room. Dexter was in detention for setting off a dungbomb trying to get out of a Charms exam, so it was just the pair of them, and Oliver realized suddenly that it had been an inordinate amount of time since he'd been alone with Wally.
He hesitated. "Wally?"
"Yeah?"
"Are we..." Oliver paused. "Are we still - you know - am I still your boyfriend?"
Wally's hands dropped away from the work he'd been doing but he kept his back to Oliver. He didn't say anything. He didn't have to. The silence said so much, and although Oliver waited and waited, Wally never did say anything. He just eventually started spellotaping stuff up again, knowing the silence had said volumes, and he just went back to what he was doing.
Oliver fought to keep his breathing steady, even as he felt silent sobs shaking his shoulders and his face screwed up with silent tears - an art that one learn when one can be beaten for crying. He stared down into the box and his heart was broken even further when he found a picture so stupidly similar to the one of Sirius and Remus's that it could've been thought they'd taken it in an attempt to recreate the same photo. It was Wally hugging Oliver's shoulders, and Oliver's face turned toward Wally and the area at the bottom where the message should go was blank.
There was a special muggle pen laying there that wrote better on the polaroids than quills and Oliver reached over and plucked it from the floor and balanced the photo of him and Wally on his lap and he wrote on the message space, "No it isn't." He paused, then leaned forward and spellotaped it up right next to Sirius's picture.
Wally looked over at it.
Oliver got up and he left the room and Wally didn't come after him.
Oliver didn't know what to do with all these memories flooding him as he lay there in his room, face-down in his pillow.
The dormitory door opened and one of the other boys Oliver lived with came in the room. He didn't notice the lump of Oliver on the bed at first, but when he did, he said, "How long have you been there?"
"All day," Oliver lied from under the covers. "I don't feel well."
The boy - a year younger than Oliver and named Kevin - scoffed. "You ain't been there all day. We came up and looked for you. She's been lookin' for you since breakfast. You're gonna catch it real good when she finds you. Especially now."
"What do you mean especially now?" Oliver asked, and he sat up, the blanket falling away.
Kevin said, "There's two men here. Downstairs. Asking about you and --" he pointed at Oliver's face.
Oliver turned bright red. "What?"
"Yeah, downstairs. Right now."
Oliver flung the blankets back and rushed to the door.
"I wouldn't go down there if I was you," Kevin said.
But Oliver didn't slow, he thundered down the stairs, heart racing.
He was halfway down the stairs when he recognized Jasper Odair's voice.
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