Sirius was outside the college on the sidewalk by the large mural that had been painted by the students in the quad. It was raining lightly, the evening overcast and a bit chilly for early September. His hands shook as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his pack of cigarettes, shaking one out and digging for his silver lighter as he stared at the mural. It was a painting of a overview map of London, the Thames snaking over the concrete in brilliant blue hues, and major landmarks painted on in different styles by different students, each little bit initialed in paint. It felt like it was taking forever to get the cigarette lit, and he finally got the thing going and drew a long, deep breath of it.

The door behind he'd fled through opened with a squeal, but he ignored it, taking another deep breath of cigarette.

"Sirius?" Remus's voice was gentle, if a little confused, as he stepped up behind his husband. "You alright, Padfoot?"

Sirius nodded, turning around to see Remus.

"You ran out of there like a bat out of hell," Remus pointed out.

Sirius blew smoke out in a long, shivering stream as he stared at Remus. "Good record."

"What?"

"Bat Out of Hell. It's a good record."

"Sirius. Focus."

"Sorry."

"Don't be sorry... just... Are you alright?" Remus asked gently.

Sirius said, "I had no idea that your Stewie was Spencer Stewart - my Spencer."

"Your Spencer?" Remus asked, raising an eyebrow.

"The Spencer," Sirius corrected. He paused, studying the cigarette a moment before taking another drag. Gods, he hadn't thought about Spencer in ages. Hadn't talked about him probably ever. Not even to James, he reckoned. He closed his eyes. Lily probably knew about Spencer on some level, because of the love magic... He wondered if Lily was feeling his anxiety right now and he took a deep breath, trying to relax himself a bit - for her sake. He looked into Remus's hazel eyes - closer to brown than green, but not quite the chocolate color that Siris preferred they be. "You know that I started falling for you when you showed me your drawings?"

Remus blinked. "You did?"

Sirius nodded. "Art has always been really important to me. Not something I can do, but something I appreciate when others can. Like you. Like Spencer."

"You saw Spencer in the square when you were a kid, you said?" Remus asked.

Sirius nodded yet again. "He used to sit on the bench across from Number 12 in the square, his back to our house, and he'd draw for hours. I liked to sit up in the attic window and watch. Mother didn't approve of the world outside, we didn't get out a lot, and I started feeling... I don't know, it felt like we were being kept away from something and I felt like I was rebelling a bit when I watched the square. Muggle watching, I called it. I just wanted to know, you know? Mother and Father were so against muggles and the things they do and I don't know what I expected to see out my little window looking out onto Grimmauld Place. It certainly wasn't the bustling hub of muggle activity that I'd hoped, but I did see Spencer and his drawings, and I watched through omnioculars while he made these fantastical worlds with his pencils and I thought it was... magic."

Remus's eyes searched Sirius as he spoke, his heart tugging with every word.

"When I saw some blokes bullying him about one day, it enraged me. I never felt so protective over anyone in my life before that except --" he paused.

Regulus.

Then he went on, "And I didn't again after that until I met you."

Remus's eyes met Sirius's squarely.

"I didn't want the world to hurt him."

Remus could feel the subtext - Sirius didn't want the world to hurt him, Remus, either.

"I went out, against Mother's demands, and I defended Spencer as best as I could."

"You were brave."

"I was an idiot."

"A brave idiot."

Sirius laughed and shook his head, turning away and taking another drag off the cigarette, blowing the smoke the opposite direction of Remus. He looked up at the mural. "Did you put any of these on here?"

"It was done before I started here," Remus replied.

Sirius's eyes moved over the landmarks and he stepped over to the spot on the map where Grimmauld Place might be if it were important enough to be notated. He stared at the spot and placed his palm against the cement. "I've always thought your drawings are magical, Remus."

"They're average at best," Remus answered, flushing.

"Not to me."

Remus came over and stood next to Sirius, reaching up and putting his own hand over Sirius's against the cement. Sirius looked at Remus. "I am sure that your horrid mother gave you hell for going out to defend Spencer from those bullies."

Sirius nodded.

"But I think you were grand for doing it. You've always defended people who cannot defend themselves, and I think that's part of the reason that I love you, you know. You said you started falling for me when I showed you my drawings but I showed them to you because you made me feel safe and protected. You've always protected me and it gets us into messes sometimes but I reckon I see it a bit better now, having had this conversation. I wouldn't change a thing about you, Sirius, you're brave and courageous and I am such a lucky man to have you in my life - to get to live my life with you. I want you to know what whatever hell your mother gave you, gives you, it doesn't matter. You overcame and despite everything she tried to teach you to be - you became a good person anyway."

Sirius's lip trembled.

"Thank you for becoming a good person, Sirius."

Sirius swallowed back the lump rising up in his throat and nodded, trying not to let the stuff swelling in him overtake him.

Remus pulled Sirius into a hug, despite the way he smelled like cigarette, and he pulled Sirius's head against his mouth and kissed his temple, rooting his nose into Sirius's hair, which smelled of some sort of woodsy scented shampoo. He closed his eyes and felt Sirius drop the cigarette and put it out with the tip of his boot before wrapping his arms around Remus in a reciprocating embrace.

They stood like that for some time, even as the rain made Remus's curls hang over his forehead and Sirius's hair flattened and became rather stringy, their fancy clothes going soaked.

"Sirius?" Remus asked quietly.

"Hm?"

"Did you --" Remus paused. 

"Did I what, Moony?" Sirius asked.

Remus cleared his throat, "Nevermind. It was a stupid question."

"No, what is it?"

Remus drew back from the hug. "Do you reckon you might've had a - a crush on Spencer? Back then, I mean."

Sirius laughed, "I wasn't gay yet." But the laughter died and Remus was quiet as he could see Sirius thinking about it with fresh eyes and Sirius muttered, "Shit," and reached for his pack of cigarettes again.

Remus said, "It's not a big deal, I mean - you were what, like ten or eleven or something?"

"Something like that," Sirius shrugged, unsure himself how old he'd been the first time he'd seen Spencer on the square before Grimmauld Place. Old enough that he and Regulus had given up on playing in their old blanket fort. Old enough that Regulus had stopped believing Sirius was cool anymore and started listening more and more to Mother and Father about things, preferring to read books or play gobstones with Kreacher than play games of imagination with Sirius. Sirius hadn't seen the feeling as a crush then, only a fascination that he didn't understand, but as he thought about the awe he'd felt watching those drawings come to life and how angry it had made him seeing Spencer picked on by those bullies... Sirius's face flushed.

Sirius lit the new cigarette and puffed away for several seconds.

"When we were in first year, I only went to Quidditch games with you and James so I could watch Derek Bell play." Remus flushed. "I didn't understand why watching him fascinated me so much. I didn't even like quidditch."

Sirius guffawed and blew out a low stream of smoke. He paused. Then, "Did you have any other crushes besides me?"

"Well, there was the time with Lily."

"Dark time, that was," Sirius shuddered.

"Miracle James didn't shove me off the moving stairwell for that."

"He was too busy trying to be aloof."

Remus reached out and caught Sirius's non-smoking hand with both of his. "My point in all that is that we're allowed to have crushes, yeah? Like you with Freddie Mercury. We're allowed to think other guys are kinda cute. So long as we end up back in each other's arms at the end of the night, yeah?"

Sirius said, "Yeah of course." Then, "Why? Who do you reckon you've a crush on right now?"

"Nobody, I didn't say I had one now, we were talking about you all those years ago and I'm just saying," Remus answered.

Sirius raised an eyebrow.

Remus was tomato red. 

"You do! You totally do!" Sirius crowed with amusement. "It's Spencer, isn't it?" he laughed, "You got a thing for guys with long hair, don't you Moony?" Sirius's eyes were alight with amusement.

"Maybe a bit," Remus answered, then, burning even hotter 'round the cheeks, he said, "Actually I think it may be Lula."

Sirius's face went very funny then and he made a face, "But Lula's a girl."

"Yeah," Remus answered, face still hot.

Sirius wasn't sure what he was feeling about that. If it was the fact that Lula was a girl that made him feel funny or if it was that Lula was "real". After all, other than his once-in-a-lifetime encounter - despite how he joked about and exaggerated what had happened between him and Freddie - Freddie Mercury was not in their everyday lives like Lula was. He wondered if his crush on Freddie and Remus's crush on Lula really were equal things to be comparing, despite how Remus had sort of packaged the admission.

But then again, his husband had just freely told him about the crush so it wasn't like it was something being hidden from him. Nothing happened. Nothing would happen, Sirius was certain of it, because as much love as Remus had for him, that same amount of love clearly existed between Lula and Stewie. Spencer. 

His Spencer.

Sirius shook his head, still shocked, and lifted his cigarette to his mouth again just thinking about it.

Remus didn't seem to have caught Sirius's very short miniature crisis over the Lula thing, instead he was talking about something - something real and present and Sirius shook off the fog that had over come him.

"Wait. What?"

Remus raised an eyebrow, a look of amusement playing on his face. "How long have you been not listening?" he teased.

Sirius thought back , "A while."

Remus shook his head and rolled his eyes, but in a way that Sirius knew meant he wasn't truly annoyed, more amused than anything else. "I said - do you want to go back inside or are you done for the night? I'm fine either way. If you want to go home, we can go home, or else we can go back in. Whatever you rather."

Sirius wasn't sure he had it in him to face Spencer and Lula again tonight, but he also didn't want to ruin Remus's special evening.

Remus leaned closer, his mouth near to Sirius's ear. "I can be an artist with more than just pencils and paper, you know," he said in a low, sexy voice. 

Sirius shivered and bit his lip, closing his eyes and letting the words replay in his mind, even as Remus drew back again. Sirius opened his eyes and looked up at Remus, a smirk growing across his lips.